Flirting is truly an art form that can, unfortunately, go massively wrong. We all want to impress the person we're flirting with by being completely charming and interesting, while also letting him subtly know that you're super into him. In the worse case scenario, instead of coming off like the brilliant girl who he should be dating, you could even come off like a total creep to the guy you're trying to flirt with. Nothing turns a guy off faster than when a girl starts to enter creep-ville.
Some of us may be doing things that are creepy without even realizing it. It's definitely a fine line between putting yourself out there and coming on too strong. The signals could get mixed and now, the way you brought up his fourth grade field trip out of the blue is almost stalker-like. You don't want to seem like a stalker but you also want him to know that you're into him and you've been waiting for him to ask you out now for, like, three long weeks.
If you feel that you may be in the dark about whether your flirting is cute or creep-ville, below are fifteen times when your adorable flirting may come off as super creepy.
15 Rooting for his team
This generally starts harmlessly. Well, actually all creepy flirting begins harmlessly but especially this one. If he tells you that he's a diehard Dodgers fan, that's great. That's a little tidbit of information that you now know about, but if you exploit it to flirt with him it may come off as weird, especially if, in the past, you expressed no interest in sports whatsoever. Suddenly, you always show up wearing a jersey with a foam finger and talking about some trade the Dodgers made, but missing a lot of the information because you are basically playing broken telephone or asked the wrong people to fill you in. Okay, it might not be that extreme but hopping on the bandwagon of his team is very obvious. If you guys start dating exclusively, you should definitely make an effort to enjoy his interests but while you're still in the flirting phase, you don't have to be a diehard Dodgers fan.
14 Asking too much about his past
Finding out about someone's past is an essential part of flirting with someone and finding out if you'd like to date them. Since you are way into this person in the present, you are curious about their past and all that took place in it. That's totally natural. When you're infatuated with a person, you want to know every single thing about them, the good the bad and ugly. It happens, but it can get really creepy when you press too hard for details when you just met the person and are getting to know one another. If you're abnormally interested in the summer camp he attended when he was twelve, that's okay but try not to let him know how deeply interested you are. It might weird him out a bit and you really don't have to know if he made s'mores and if he remembers his camp leaders name.
13 Specifically, his past relationships
When someone you're into drops any information about a past lover, it's hard to not want to know everything and anything. First of all, if he dated this girl, you're immediately jealous because you'd very much like to date him. After the jealousy, the second stage is that you want to know everything about her so you can learn from her successes and failures in the relationship. Was she loved by his family? What did she do that attracted him to her and why didn't it work out?
Learning about what he wants in a relationship via his past relationship is a smart tactic but it can be pretty obvious if you push too hard for answers. Also, no guy wants to sit there and talk about a past relationship. Stop asking questions about his past and look towards the future. Be less interested in his ex and more interested in him now.
12 Being too active on his social media
Sure, liking his selfie is a nice, subtle way to flirt. It’s like a little wink between the two of you but it's also almost a public display too. There's nothing better than him liking your selfie and everyone knowing he liked your selfie. It’s a confidence booster, for sure.
Being active on his social media becomes a problem when you’re liking everything right away. Calm down, girl. No need to like his comments back to comments. No need to like that profile picture from 2007. And there is certainly no need to like the fact that he just became FB friends with Chris something, that shouldn't even be an option. Being too active on his social media lets him know that you’re on his pages all the time. Even if you are Facebook stalking him all day, every day, don’t let him know that by liking everything he does. Keep it cool, like every second or third pic or status update.
11 Being too vocal about your social media stalking
Like the previous issue, it’s fine to stalk a crush online as long as they don’t know about it. All of the information that you find out from said stalking must be used delicately and with the right mind set. If you find out that you both love the same band, TV show or restaurant, let that come up organically rather than be like, ‘Hey, I saw that you’re really into South Park.' Instead ask him about himself and angle the questions to be about his favorite things.
Looking at his posts can give you a good idea about the kind of stuff he enjoys but it’s best to keep that in the back of your mind and not let him know that you were reading his status from February 2009 at 3 am last night. You also can't judge someone from their social media posts from years ago, we've all changed a lot since then.
10 Showing up somewhere you know he'll be
A commonly used tactic but this never comes across as casual. Sometimes, it’s so hard to not put yourself in positions to see your crush or love of your life but, trust us, less is more. We know you just want to 'accidentally' bump into him while looking amazing AF. Because you know that he will see you and instantly fall head over heels for you, but if you know that he goes to the same bar every Thursday night for their happy hour, don’t just start showing up and crashing his guys’ nights. We get it. You think that if you’re around him, he’ll slowly but surely fall in love with you. That could be true, but forcing your presence on him all the time can also be a huge turn off. Hold off and see if he invites you out, Stalky Mc Stalker.
9 Watching TV shows only because he likes them
If you don’t care about who is going to get the Iron Throne, don’t watch Game of Thrones. Plain and simple. I mean, I don’t know what’s wrong with you that you wouldn’t enjoy the drama, violence and sex of Westros but to each their own I suppose.
If he's into a show, that's great but you definitely shouldn't fake being into the same show if you know nothing about it. You might end up dropping names of characters who are already dead on The Walking Dead. It's a dice roll, baby. For it to be less of a dice roll, you may consider watching the show that he told you he liked but that's super creepy. Imagine a dude getting into a show just because you told him you like it. It's a bit too much.
Sure, if you start dating, you'll most likely watch television together so getting into each other's shows is fine in that circumstance, but while you're still just flirting, there's no shame in watching The Bachelorette and not caring about Game of Thrones.
8 Dropping whatever you're doing to see him
When you are willing to stop doing anything to see him, that may seem like you're just being flexible but, in reality, it's not a great move. First of all, if you're so available for him at all times, that it won't make him really want to hang out with you. Men like a little chase, when you think about it we all do. There's a difference between dodging his calls for two months and being available 24/7 so you should ideally be somewhere in the middle. Leave him hanging a bit.
Furthermore, if he knows you had concert tickets to your fav band but you just decided not to go once he asked you to hang out the same Saturday, that's weird. He'll be creeped out the fact that you'd willingly forgo seeing Billy Joel even though you have tickets, just to hang out with him.
7 Putting him above eating or sleeping
Even deeper into the realm of dropping everything to hang out with a guy, you shouldn't put spending time with the guy you like above eating or sleeping. Sometimes, in a whirlwind romance, we forgo things like eight hours of sleep and our three meals of the day. This a big no-no. Again, you've become so available for him, which doesn't give him much of a chase. You definitely don't need to hang out with him until 3 am, no matter how great the conversation is. Call it a night and leave him wanting more.
If a guy sees that you are putting spending time with him above your own basic needs, that's odd. You're literally projecting the message that he is more important than your own well being, which is one of the creepiest thing ever. We hope you already knew this, if not then please make sure to read this whole article.
6 Leaving things at his place on purpose
Leaving something at a guy's place to ensure he'll call you for a second date seems like a sly move but it's almost always very obvious. An earring is a nice move, as it's little and seems like it could easily fall off. The problem with an earring is that he probably won't see the earring at all, so you'd have to reach out to him and be like 'hey, I think I left my earring at your place.' That just smells like an excuse to reach out to him.
If you leave anything bigger - like your jacket or your shoes - that just seems goofy. Why would you forgot your jacket on a chilly night? The move is obvious and comes off a bit desperate. You're better off just hoping he'll reach out because he wants to, not because you left your belt there. Don't think leaving your bobby pins or elastics is any better, he will probably just throw them out. Ouch.
5 Baby talk
When we say baby talk, we aren't just talking about the obvious baby talk. We're also talking about your own little language that you find absolutely hilarious. We all say goofy things and have goofy ways of talking to our friends. Flirting with a guy is not the time to use these silly phrases, you don't know him yet. When he asks what an 'ice la-la' is and you have to explain that's what you and your besties call iced lattes, it's going to go down hill from there, all will be heard will be crickets. Save all your fun and flavorful language for when you're on your fifth or sixth date with him. Maybe, then you can start introducing him to your odd little language. Until then, it might with send him packing, you little creepy thing you.
4 Being too 'oh ya baby'
If you are a sexual being, be a sexual being. More power to you! The issue is when you are trying to be all hot and steamy in order to get him to like you, especially if you are doing more than you are comfortable with. Don't do this. This will give off a very wrong impression of you.
First of all, you should move at your own pace and never do something just to get a guy to like you. On top of doing something that may makes you uncomfortable, this can also creep him out quite a bit. Believe it or not, it's pretty obvious when someone is pretending to have a larger sexual appetite than they really do. Also, if you're being theatrical and wild, this may make him a little uncomfortable, it might also give off the fact that you are exaggerating a tad. Just move at your own speed.
3 Being one of the guys
Being one of the guys is usually seen as a great thing. It can be a breath of fresh air when a girl can hang with the dudes, talk about sports and throw back a few beers. However, if you’re pretending to be one of the guys, it will be obvious and it will be creepy.
There's nothing worse than watching a girl try to fit in with a group of guys and fail. If you're a girly girl, be a girly girl. Pretending to be one of the guys may not be right for you and, if the relationship works out, how long will you have to keep up your 'one of the guys' act? Guys can tell when you're faking this and it's super unattractive. If you'd rather talk about Kylie's lip kit and the guys on The Bachelorette, do so. They may not be into the same stuff as you but, at least, they won't think you are super creepy.
2 Zodiac talk
When you say something about a guy’s zodiac sign, that is not attractive at all ever. Guys are not into learning that their mood was off last week because of the moon. Okay, maybe the guy is totally into astrology and, in that case, talk it up, you Capricorn. Most likely though, he doesn’t give a sh*t about Mercury in retrograde and he’d rather talk to you about, like, thirty different things. Wait a very long time before even mentioning zodiac signs.
On top of that, trying to tell a guy something about himself based on when he was born is a bit overwhelming. You aren't really in a position to do so yet, imagine a guy telling you what you're all about because you were born in July, yes you'd be annoyed. Also, if you only know his birthday because you looked it up on Facebook… well, you’ve achieved total creep status.
1 Changing who you are for him
One of the creepiest things you could ever do when flirting with a guy is to change who you are for them. Molding yourself into whatever kind of girl that this guy would want is not only unflattering, but also very weird. He doesn't want to date a mirror image of himself, especially if you are claiming to be into things he straight up knows you aren't. A girl with opinions, likes, dislikes and hobbies is a girl who is interesting and intriguing, not someone who agrees with every single thing he says. This also may also bore him, who wants to talk to someone who only just sits there and agrees with you, I know you are thinking it would be perfect but anyone would get bored of this. You should respect who you are as a person and not lose sight of that, no matter how bae the guy you're flirting with is.