Few of us like to admit to being jealous, but most of us at some point in our life, be it in childhood or adulthood, will experience it; that feeling you get when something or someone threatens to ruin a relationship you have with a certain thing. There is a fine line between simply wishing that you had something another person has, regarded as envy, and the resentful feeling that suggests you have been let down or betrayed in some way by whatever it is. Anxiety, insecurity, loss, betrayal and resentment are commonplace emotions in jealousy and it is not always easy to justify your feelings as anything but jealousy no matter how much you try, after all to be jealous insinuates that you are being childish, and nobody wants to admit to that. However there are certain situations when you have little control over your emotions and have a right to be jealous. How many of these scenarios do you recognize?
15 Fitting room clash
Picture the scene. You finally get to try on that great outfit you have had your eye on for a while and excitedly take it into the fitting room. The outfit slips on without a hitch and you can't wait to show your partner how it looks and to get his approval. As you step out of the fitting room your eye catches a woman trying on the same outfit, a beautiful, willowy, graceful woman, for whom the outfit was clearly made. It looks perfect on her, which makes you feel very insecure and unworthy of carrying the outfit off yourself. Feeling deflated you quickly retreat to the fitting room, angry with the outfit for not living up to its expectations and the woman for making you feel that way. Not only has she taken away the outfit from you, she has completely knocked your confidence in how you feel about your appearance.
14 Mummy’s boy
The weekend is finally here, the time you set aside for a little romance and one on one time with your boyfriend. But just lately he seems to have forgotten about having some just the two of you time. He is the apple of his mother's eye and she hates to see him doting on another woman. She has become quite demanding and every time she wants something he goes running. It feels like your needs are not important to him and his mother means more to him than you. His mother is standing in the way of you being the main woman in his life. You feel threatened and start to resent her, feeling unloved and like second place in your man's life. It isn't right for his mother to take precidence over you. He needs to stop pandering to her needs and she needs to stop trying to influence his decisions and let him go.
13 The Ex files
You have been together with your boyfriend for a while now and have a loving relationship, but you feel that sometimes the connection you have is not so strong and he can be quite distant. If he has any problems he never wants to discuss them with you. If you try to help he makes it quite clear that your opinion is not sought after. Instead he chooses to confide in his ex-girlfriend and calls her whenever the need arises to ask her advice, which really gets your back up. He has never asked for your opinion so how can he value hers over yours. You are his significant other now and the one he should be getting close to. It should be you he confides in and should trust you to have his best interests at heart. Who is his ex to stop that special bond between you and your man from developing.
12 Your best mate's steal
For months now you have been drooling over that hot guy at the office, giving him the eye and making attempts to get to know him better. He is the main topic of conversation over lunch with your friends. It's safe to say you are besotted with the guy. One night after work the whole office heads over to the pub for a drink, and then it happens. Your hot guy spots you across the room and makes a bee-line for you and you ready yourself to swoon in his arms. However, instead of offering to buy you a drink he asks for your best mate's phone number as he is too shy to ask her out face to face. What's worse is she accepts his invitation. How could your mate steal your guy from under you nose. Why can't he see that you have so much more to offer.
11 Mans best friend
When it comes to mates, you have your besties and he has his. Spending time with them is important and something neither of you will compromise on. However since you have started dating you cannot help but notice how his mates always get the preferential treatment over you. He allows them to tag along on your big nights out and he thinks nothing of breaking your plans to rally up with them down the pub to watch the football game. It's not fair, as you always make sure any arrangements to see your mates do not conflict with your plans together and you would never stand him up just to please them. The holy bond between him and his mates is too much and getting in the way of your relationship and threatens to spoil what you have. It is important to share time but you should take priority.
10 Concert ticket miss
Your favorite band has announced some future gig dates, which have been a long time coming. Tickets go on sale as soon as the gigs are announced and become the hottest tickets in town. You are all set to purchase some tickets but unfortunately, due to demand, the site becomes jammed by potential buyers and by the time you get connected all tickets everywhere are sold out. You could cry, it will be forever before they gig again. Next day one of your colleagues arrives at work bragging about how he has managed to get front row tickets to the gig. You hate him, it is so unjust. It feels like he has stolen the tickets from you. Nobody is as big a fan of the band as you. It is you who deserves to have those tickets and feel very let down by a system that has failed you.
9 The secretary
Your partner has a secretary at the office, of course he does. He couldn't cope without the help of someone to organize his busy work schedule. You have met her on a couple of social occasions and she seems very nice. She is also younger than you and very attractive. She is valued so much that you are frequently being asked by your partner to buy flowers or chocolates for him to give her, so that he can show his appreciation for all her hard work. As far as you are concerned you do equally as much for him in his personal life, so why doesn't he ever get you little tokens of appreciation, to say he values you too, it would be nice from time to time, not to mention keeping the romance alive. It's not nice to feel resentment towards his secretary but to say you are taken for granted would be an understatement.
8 Sibling rivalry
This is probably the biggest cause of jealousy there is, and one of the first experiences we have as a child after a brother or sister comes into the family. It can often seem that one sibling is being favored by a parent over the other. Of course a parent is going to give praise and beam pride if a child does well at something, but does it always have to be directed at your sibling and always so publicly in front of their friends, in front of you. You may not have found your niche in life yet but there are plenty of good points about you they could brag about, so why don't they do it. It is not fair and makes you feel very insecure. Competition can be motivating but not at the expense of family harmony. You just want a little respect too, it's not a lot to ask.
7 Promotion overlook
You love your job and would like to progress up through the company, so when the chance of promotion presents itself you immediately express an interest and apply for it. You have dedicated a lot of time and hard work for the company and know the job inside out, so there is no reason why the boss should not to choose you. The interview goes well and all looks good for the go ahead. However the job is offered to someone else in the company, and you struggle to make sense of the decision. Is it that you do your current job too well and they want to keep it that way? You resent their decision and feel betrayed by your employers, after all you have worked for company longer than the employee who was offered the promotion. There may well be other opportunities in the future but that job was yours fair and square.
6 Holiday blues
Does it ever feel like your life is just not as exciting as other people's? The holiday season is upon you and colleagues are getting excited about their trips abroad this year to some exotic places. You haven't traveled abroad for ages, so it is time to start making your own plans for a well deserved getaway. However, no matter how much you jiggle with those finances you just can't seem to spare much of a dime for a holiday abroad, so it looks like you will be staying home again this year and will have to suffer the endless holiday snaps and glare of sun kissed healthy glows from your colleagues. You work just as hard as they do and can't understand how they do it. You have the feeling like somehow life is betraying you and just won’t give you a break. You feel anxious that you should you be doing better?
5 The intruder
With your dad no longer living in the family home, you and your mum have become much closer and enjoy spending quality time together. However, your mum has decided it's time to move on with her life and has got herself a new fella. Her life is totally consumed with her new found love and you hardly get a look in anymore. It is hard to see her with a new man, though you want to be happy for her. He is a stranger to you and on the surface it seems like your mum is being disloyal to your family unit. What's more, he is taking her away from you. Wasn't it you who spent all those nights drying her tears after your dad left. You wonder how this man could just waltz in like that and for your mum to toss you aside now that she is happy again.
4 His best friend is female
You are happy for your boyfriend to spend time with mates, however when his best friend is a woman you do cause to worry and question time they spend together. What do they talk about? How can they be just friends? Yep we’ve all seen the movie. It is a struggle to trust the situation. Sometimes you all go out together and it feels like some kind of weird threesome. And when they start talking about good times from the past you feel left out, a bit like a gooseberry. You are the main female in his life now and shouldn't you be his best friend. It doesn’t feel right that you have to compete for the position. You wonder why he ever needed a girlfriend when he has her. She needs to get herself a boyfriend, let’s see how he feels about her best friend, and let the relationship between you and your man grow. Enough is enough.
3 The lonesome pine
What's not to like about you. You are kind, considerate, funny, smart. What is it that makes your colleagues turn their back on you. You like your job but hate the atmosphere that is apparent in the office. It always has been a very clique place and if you try to join in the fun your colleagues quickly disperse and never include you in their plans for a night out with everyone. They just don't want to know. All you seem to be good for is to help out with the heavy workload. It is no fun being 'sent to Coventry' for no apparent reason, or feeling left out. It's not as if you don't make the effort to get along. What right do they have to make you feel insecure and anxious, when all you want is to be part of the crowd. They have taken away the complete job satisfaction you desire.
2 Cat’s got the cream
She's smooth, she's sleek, a faithful friend who keeps him warm at night and woe betide you if you try to come between them, because her claws will come out to scratch you. I'm talking of course about his cat. You love animals and, but how can a mere moggy take number one place over you. As soon as the two of you sit down the cat is there, jumping up onto his lap wanting attention and he will think nothing of ignoring you to play cat games. Wouldn't it be nice if he could get another cat to entertan Mr. Whiskers, after all cats like to hang out together. His obsession with his cat is getting on your nerves and taking away precious time with your man. Clearly time for some cat and mouse strategy
1 The flirt
You love your man and he loves you, but he also loves himself a little too much. He is a gorgeous looking guy and confident with it. The girls have always flocked around him and he is never short on the charm in response. The problem is he just loves to flirt with the ladies. He loves the attention. When you are out together he is like a magnet and never likes to disappoint his admirers. It’s like you are not there sometimes and you find that hurtful. You know he will not be unfaithful to you, so no worries there, however, it would just be nice if he could do a bit of flirting with you instead, to make you feel desirable. It's one thing to be his lover but another to have the romantic, flirty aspect of your relationship taken away. He wooed you once that way and if you are his true love he should never stop flirting with you.
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