You know those guys at the bar that make eye contact with you and you freak out because you didn’t mean to make eye contact with them; and then over they waltz to put on their best smile and A-game with the hopes of scoring with you? And you try to be nice and tell them politely you aren’t interested but they keep at it… that’s determination. Well, actually, it’s desperation and it’s not very desirable, is it? Your male counterparts happen to feel the same way about some of your behaviours. Regardless of your single or taken status, there are some things that you say and actions that you do that just give the guys a sour taste in their mouth. No one wants to look desperate and pathetic, do they? Probably not.
15 You wear way too much perfume
The idea of having body odor is repulsive to both men and women alike. The first issue with it is you seem “unclean”. Who wants to date someone who doesn’t shower? There’s nothing attractive about that fresh gym sweat smell. It’s almost as awful as bad breath. Like ate-a-whole-raw-fish-right-out-of-the-polluted-lake breath. On the flip side, if you smell like you bathed in Eau de Britney Spears, or whatever your scent is, you smell no better than those douchebags who shower in Axe to try to get girls. Really, everyone knows they just trigger mad allergies and make ladies run to the bathroom to make sure their mascara isn’t running. Just remember, with perfume, like make-up, less is more. And the slight scent of something lovely and sweet or flowery will make him take a second sniff and get intrigued rather than send him desperately seeking Kleenex for his sneezing fit from the sweet smell of your sheer desperation.
14 Pursuing a guy after he says “no”
Meghan Trainor said it best. “My name is NO. My number is NO. You need to let it go!” Seriously, girl, you do need to let it go. Nothing makes you look thirstier than your persistence of someone who is clearly not interested. Yes, your mother told you if you want something, go get it and don’t take no for an answer, but most of the time, that trick won’t work for you in the world of dating. This isn’t a film where you can pursue and pursue with flowers and bottles of wine and wear some pretty red lipstick and he will magically fall in love with you. Sometimes, there’s just no initial attraction and if there’s no reason to really invest in getting to know you, no guy is going to waste his time. If you push and push and push, you’ll just come across as pathetic and needy.
13 You over (or under) dress
You might be the type of girl who likes to get stares. You want to be centre of attention and you want to get pursued. You show off your legs or your cleavage and flaunt some bright pink lipstick. You look amazing! That’s all fine and dandy but if you’re wearing a ball gown to the bowling alley, you’re going to look like you’re trying way too hard and possibly a bit crazy. That being said, the types of girls who all but have their genitals showing in their Saturday nightclub apparel also give off a thirsty vibe. You look like you are only looking for one thing; and that’s the type of guy you will attract. To the ones looking for more than a one-night stand, or even some of the ones looking for a lay, you look desperate and that you are trying to overcompensate. Over or under-dressing is a great way to turn guys off and have them heading in the other direction.
12 You look like a clown
No, not a real clown. Because if your job is professional clown and you get to wear crazy costumes and make-up every day, that’s freaking fantastic. And will likely impress any guy you come into contact with, thus enhancing your overall dating experience. For the rest of you, many girls spend hours doing their hair and make-up in the morning before work, or at the very least, before dates. Depending on your skill level or confidence, you could look like a natural red carpet beauty, or you could look like a cheap hooker, who let their seven-year-old do their make-up for them. Most guys prefer natural, sexy, girls, rather than overdone floozies. Try to find a balance that works for you to avoid that desperate vibe that floats in the air around you. It tends to cling to too much blush, chunky lipstick or dark black raccoon eyes.
11 You text every. Second. Of. The. Day.
Got a new guy? Maybe it’s a semi-new relationship and you’re really excited about it! Congratulations. Make sure you do yourself a favor and not make this mistake of looking crazy clingy, thirsty and needy. Most guys aren’t glued to their phones like you are, so if it takes them a bit to get back to you, they are probably busy, not forgetting about you. Or perhaps they are working, and don’t have the same cellular flexibility that you have at your 9-5. Thinking that your texts every 15 minutes are cute reminders of how great you are or how much you like him will likely have the opposite affect and annoy him into thinking you are desperately gripping to this relationship, which scares most men off. Follow the rule of thumb: no more than one text at a time (unless it’s deathly important) and you wait until he gets back to you to send another. And then don’t reply to him immediately, no matter how much you want to.
10 You are too agreeable
Many girls get caught up in this, especially in the early stages of new relationships. It’s where no matter what he suggests, you agree with it. Even when you secretly want to beat your head against a wall if he makes you watch just one more stupid, awful football game, you happily (and too enthusiastically) agree to do anything and everything he wants to do, without considering your own wants and needs. You might think this makes you look chill and cool but it more than likely makes you look indifferent and like you aren’t able to function as a person without him. Guys don’t want to have stupid fights with you but they also want to date a human, not a mirror image of themselves so don’t get too caught up in this or it reeks of being parched in the dessert and they are your only drink. Make him do something you want to once in a while. He might whine about it now but in the long run, he will appreciate it.
9 You give it up too soon (when you really don’t want to)
No one is suggesting you don’t consent to your own sexual activity. However, when you don’t really wanna hook-up and are just going there for the guy, if he’s sober and has any sort of a brain, he’s going to notice. As much as guys want to get some, when they’re looking for some, they don’t want you to not be in it with them. Becoming sexually involved with someone too soon, because you are looking for love, comes across as overly desperate and usually won’t end with you getting the boyfriend of your dreams. It more than likely ends with you having some mediocre hook-ups and having your heart ripped out and stomped all over because you fell for the guy who didn’t fall for you. Remember that guys like the chase. It’s a very real thing to them.
8 You talk long-term too soon
Date three is probably not the time to ask him to meet your parents. Surprisingly, many get sucked into the cycle when things are going well, and the rest of the relationship is moving quickly; i.e. you have some overnight stuff there, you have recurring weekend plans every weekend, you take turns on chores, etc. and this seems like a sign that the relationship is ready for the next step. Most guys just want to take the time to get to know you and don’t want to meet your entire family. He moves things along quickly to make sure you know you are wanted and appreciated by him. And besides, if you’re half living there, he can pretty much get some whenever he wants, which is actually a big reason guys like relationships (regular sex). Taking him as a date to a family reunion or a close family wedding before the three month mark is probably not a good idea, unless you’ve discussed your dire need for a wedding date and he’s agreed to hit the open bar with you. It looks desperate to him and possibly also to your family when they ask how long you’ve been dating for.
7 Being a doormat
As previously mentioned, being a certain amount of agreeable is a good thing, but when you are constantly bending (and almost breaking) to accommodate your partner, it’s not a good sign. First off, you look like you don’t have an opinion. You resemble more of a robot than a girl. Then there’s the factor that guys may take advantage at first of being able to get away with going out super late with the guys and not bothering to text you; or working late (playing video games) and rescheduling your dinner plans, but eventually, you look like a pushover and no guy wants to date a thirsty doormat. You shouldn’t have to stress about him and how he’s behaving with you in fear of speaking up. Tell him how you feel. Say no. Stand up to him; it looks way more independent and bad-a**. And it reminds him what a relationship is supposed to be, which is why you are all here anyways, right?
6 Digital stalking
There are some girls that do some totally normal, natural, safety-related creeping of their man’s Facebook page, just to make sure he is who he says he is, there’s no secret girlfriend, he’s not a drug dealing, party animal, and he’s not a felon. But if you’re the girl who is glued to his social media and you like each of his posts every time he posts it, or comment on everything, especially when he’s not with you, it looks like you literally have nothing else to do outside of him. It gives off the impression that you are following him, and frankly, it’s a bit creepy. It’s great that you want to do things with him and fit into his life, etc, but he still wants you to do your own thing and not be a first-class cling on. It makes you look desperate to his friends, too and none of the guys want their friend bringing the cling-on out to the bar for a birthday party.
5 Fishing for compliments
Most girls have some sort of self-esteem issues. Maybe you aren’t thin enough or you think your nose is big, or you’re too short, the list goes on. And any good boyfriend or partner will notice your self-esteem issues and take the liberty of complimenting you when they feel the moment is right. But if you’re the girl who’s constantly saying “OMG, do I look FAT in this?” he knows that you are really asking him to tell you how skinny and fantastic you look and a girl who isn’t confident in herself looks thirsty in comparison to the girl that loves herself. But remember, modesty is key. It’s not the “everything's about you” show. Well, maybe sometimes it is… And about fishing… He probably digs that you can throw on an old pair of shorts and tote a fishing rod and a trucker hat, but compliment fishing is sure to leave you with nothing on your line.
4 Blowing off your friends ALL THE TIME
Everyone’s been there. You have fallen into new relationship syndrome where you develop the false belief that you have to spend every moment of every day together or he will get bored and go elsewhere. Nothing could be further from the truth. It’s probably safe to assume he has things to do: like have drinks with colleagues, hang out with his dog or turtles, or play video games. And then there’s Netflix. Sometimes, everyone just needs to feel a little bit independent and needs me-time. When you bail on your friends or pressure him to do the same, you look like a clingy loner and that can not only look desperate, but also be a bit scary to your man-friend. He doesn’t expect it of you, so why would you expect it of him? Allocating time for yourself or time for your own friends is also a great way to not immediately get sick of each other. Next time you want to chirp at him about spending more time with you, sit down, quench your thirst with a nice big class of chilled water, and call a friend instead.
3 Complaining that you’re single
The guy you’re on the date with knows that you’re single. Or at least he hopes you are. Your online dating profile said that you were, so why wouldn’t you be? He doesn’t need to hear you complain about how single you are and how no one can compete with your singleness and why EVERY OTHER DATE didn’t work for you. Although some funny dating stories never hurt anyone. He doesn’t need to hear anything about other guys. He doesn’t want a side-by-side comparison. That’s what your girlfriends are for. As much as most guys secretly want a relationship, they will deny it until they are blue in the face and say that they don’t so someone who is so outward with their neediness for a boyfriend looks more desperate and intimidating than appealing. Playing it cool and acting like you like playing the single game is a much better strategy for making you look less thirsty and more desirable.
So football isn’t really your favourite sport? And you actually can’t stand Blink 182.... Though it seems easy enough to lie to a new boyfriend to create similarities and make yourself both more attractive and more compatible, it really hurts you in the long run. When he eventually asks you about the big Blink party you said you went to (that he surely went to) and you can’t answer, he’s going to know you’re lying. This creates not only mistrust, but also shows him that you were so frantic about making it work, that you didn’t really let him get to know the real you. And let’s face it: little white lies will get spotted super fast and he will either think it’s adorable and call you out, or he will see it as being bigger than it is, which can be a big loss for you. They say a lie is more convincing than the truth; but a lie takes way more work and makes you way more thirsty.
1 He can see you working the room
Sometimes you’ll go out to a bar and chat with a nice guy or two only to find out they are out with their friends and can’t chat all night. No big deal, right? Exactly. You weren’t looking to go home with someone anyway, unless you were… in which case, good on ya. You swapped numbers with him so you should probably just have a good time with your own friends and go home and see if he texts. There’s always next weekend if he doesn’t. The problem is when women feel shut down, even when they aren’t actually shut down, they lower their standards and go after more and more guys in the same room to feel validated. As the guy watching that from the sidelines, it makes them feel very un-special and makes you look less desirable because you are clearly looking for anything you can get. Get yourself to the bar because girl, you look thirsty.