Being single is tough enough without having your close friends broadcast their love all over social media. There’s cheesy Facebook statuses, a montage of their relationship from the first kiss to the ring on the finger in picture form on Instagram and don’t forget the public display of affection that qualifies more for them needing to get a room. Stat.
Maybe you thought (and deep down, hoped) that the relationship would eventually dissolve and dissipate once the honeymoon period was over, but they’re both still happier than ever. And then, it happens. One day you’re scrolling through Facebook only to see that your friend has left the single realms forever by changing her Facebook status from “in a relationship,” to “engaged.”
What’s a single girl to do? Think the following 15 thoughts, of course. Read on and see if you can relate.
Shock is guaranteed to be a first thought as you sit there with a bottle of wine, wondering how this could have happened. The past floats by in your mind as you remember the good ole days when you were both single and on the prowl, serving as each other’s wing girl every Saturday night as you met cute dude after dude. Now with the Golden Ticket on her finger, you feel like a lone solider, left behind by your friend to fend off the creepy guys on Tinder all by yourself.
14 “Is she pregnant?”
Shock turns to questioning. Even though she may be pushing thirty, you still rationalize that there must be a reason why she’s willing to give up her single freedom till death does she part. Forget true love—pregnancy seems like the only possible reason why she’d give up hooking up with whomever she wants, partying every weekend and living life completely by her own terms.
13 “Why am I laughing the same way Kristin Wiig did in Bridesmaids when she found out her best friend was engaged?”
Hysteria must be setting in. You sit there, eyes fixated on her Facebook status, which is still on the screen and getting more and more likes and words of congratulations pouring in. You know you need to say something. You set your wine aside and begin to create a post that is sweet, heartfelt and that will essentially mask all the feelings of bitterness, resentment and fear that you're currently experiencing.
12 "Should I be like Julia Roberts in My Best Friend's Wedding and get a best guy friend to make a marriage pact with me?"
You know that things didn't work out well for Julia Roberts in that movie as her best guy friend, the one who has promised to marry her if they were both single, still got married to Cameron Diaz's character. But you don't care. At this point, you're wondering which of your guy friends you could somehow handle spending the rest of your life with.
11 “Or maybe I can meet a cute guy at the wedding!”
Forget marrying one of your best guy friends. Your mind starts skimming over your friend’s fiancé and all his cute friends who might be at the wedding. What a more romantic setting to meet someone and fall in love? You even imagine the year ahead: how all the same people at her wedding will be at your wedding in a year's time, giving funny, heartfelt toasts about the way you and your groom met on this very same dance floor.
10 “I need more wine.”
Drinking is the last thing your emotional state needs right now, yet it still feels like the number one thing you need right now in a crisis like this. You polish off a bottle of red, remaining dumbfounded over how this all happened, as you begin uncorking another.
The more you drink, the more it sets in just how hard the next couple of months will be on your single, lonely soul. But then you start to think of all the champagne and wine you’ll get to drink during the wedding festivities that will make everything easier to handle. There's champagne at the bridal shop, mimosas during brunch and wine toasts during the rehearsal dinner. Things aren't looking too shabby.
9 "Who else do I know that's single? Us girls need to stick together."
Now is the time to calling up the single girlfriends you still have left in your life. While your other friend will be off living the boring, married life, you single gals need to stick together. You can take solace in each other as you're all most likely thinking the same sad, depressing thoughts. It helps to have people who understand exactly what you're going through and single girlfriends during this time are most definitely these people.
8 "My mother has her on Facebook, she's definitely going to see the engagement status. And then comes the never-ending questions about my absent love life..."
Maybe you have a mother like Monica does on the show, Friends—the one who spent the money she saved for your wedding, and all because she had given up hope on you ever getting married. The holidays are even worse as you have not only your mother, but your entire extended family questioning you about whether you're still single and asking questions like, "whatever happened to that Benjamin fellow? He was so nice." Now with your friend's engagement, the questions will be coming faster than you can pour yourself another glass of pinot.
7 “Well, time to start online dating.”
You've already dabbled in dating apps like Tinder, of which has led you to believe that there are no more decent men here on this earth. But what about eHarmony or Plenty of Fish? Besides, you know friends who have used those sites and ended up meeting their soul mates. It could happen to you too. You sign up for one of those site's on a whim and begin to ponder the perfect "About Me" section you could craft to make yourself seem completely desirable.
6 “I need to get engaged, NOW”
You begin to wonder if the relationships with your exes ended prematurely. Who cares if he still lived with his parents at thirty-five years old or spent a stint in jail? Surely, you think, he's a changed man now. Then, as you picture the two of you giving the relationship another go, you consider how much you'll scare him away by signing his email address up to Tiffany & Co’s mailing list after only a week of dating again.
5 “Oh, God. I’m going to become a crazy cat lady who roams the streets, looking for strays.”
You already have one—how crazy would it be to add two more...or twelve? Now that you're believing you'll never find anyone, why not just succumb to your future and start building your crazy cat lady collection now? Besides, maybe one day you'll even meet a guy with his own crazy dog man collection. Talk about soul mates.
4 “At least there’s the bachelorette party.”
Now you begin to realize that a bachelorette party is essentially code word for strippers. And not just any strippers: Magic Mike-style strippers. You're already envisioning the Channing Tatum lookalike who will give you a lap dance while you hang your pink feather boa from his neck. Not only that, but bachelorette parties mean lots of drinking, dressing up and lots of hot guys...all ingredients that will hopefully give your friend one last, incredible glimpse at the single life she's leaving behind.
3 “I wonder if I’ll be the maid-of-honour...”
You're close with your friend, but what if she makes her sister her Maid-of-Honor or, even worse, that friend from college, the one you always hated? You'll definitely be a bridesmaid, but what if your dress is one of those peach-coloured, puffy ones? Will it ruin your chances at meeting a cute man at the wedding? All this passes through your mind as you wonder if it's too soon to send her a Pinterest-inspired DIY bridal gift basket in hopes that she'll take the hint and not only make you Maid-Of-Honour, but also give you free reign on what dress you wear?
2 “Ugh. How will I afford everything?”
You leave Facebook for a moment to quickly check your bank account, the one you hadn't checked in weeks out of fear that things really were as bad as you thought. You have one eye closed as you input your banking information and hit enter. Only once you're logged on do you take a deep breath and force yourself to open your eyes. As suspected, you're still broke and now you're mentally add up all the expenses that come along with your friend's happily-ever-after. There's the bridesmaid dress, air and hotel fare if the wedding is far away, a wedding gift as well as heaps of money for the wine you'll certainly need.
1 "At the end of the day, she's my friend and I'm happy for her."
Once the shock and wine haze begins to wear off, you let yourself actually be happy for your friend. Yes, she's leaving the single world, possibly forever, but at least she'll be happy with someone who loves and treats her right. And when it's finally your day to post that very same status announcing your engagement, you can only hope that she'll skip past all the crazy, irrational thoughts you just had and just be happy for you, as you are for her now.