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15 Thoughts All Girls Have About Men's Beards

No doubt about it, beards have definitely becoming a thing. So, naturally, we have massive opinions about those beards. We started noticing this trend when No Shave November become Don't Do It December and then, of course, Just Let It GrowJanuary. Men have decided that sporting a big beard is their male equivalent of the little black dress. They think it makes them much more attractive. We’ve also seen that many celebrities have made beards even more popular by growing some bushy bravado of their own. Brad Pitt, Bradley Cooper, and even Leonardo DiCaprio have been seen sauntering about with a face full of hair that would make any Greek God feel totally inferior to them. This has forced many men on their own journey of growing their facial hair into elaborate beards that they're super proud of. The one thing that many guys don’t take into account when they decide to do this is how much it’ll affect the women they’re trying to impress. Now, we believe everyone should do whatever they want and whatever makes them feel great, but we're not super into a guy's beard-growing adventure. Here are 15 thoughts girls have about guy's beards.

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15 He Must Be Patient

We applaud men who can grow a beard because that takes a long time. Depending on the person, it could take weeks and even months before their beard has reached the length and fullness that they want and even then they still probably want to grow it more evenly. The part that takes the most patience is that they can’t control the rate of growth at all. It’s all up to their biology. We like to see a man with a beard because that patience would be very useful when putting up with our crap all the time. A man who can handle growing out a long and full beard definitely has the patience to deal with a crazy woman with a lot of needs. It’s a very attractive quality in this sense and we will be intrigued by a man’s beard purely for the fact that he must be one hell of a guy to be able to grow it out that long.

14 Maybe He's Lazy

On the flip side, growing out a beard could also be a very lazy thing for someone to do. It definitely takes time and effort to shave every morning and if we see a man with a beard – specifically a beard that isn’t very well kept – then we may assume you’re a lazy person. When us ladies don’t shave our legs for weeks on end it has nothing to do with patients and 100% to do with the fact that we’re too lazy to do the work in the shower for super silky legs. If you have a messy beard we may think that you’re incapable of getting up and shaving in the morning and basically taking care of yourself. If you can’t even bother to get your beard in properly working order how else can we expect you to get your life together and take care of us?

13 Beard Burn: Ouch!

If you've dated a guy with a beard, you know that when you make out with him, well, ouch. You can even get a rash around your mouth! No wonder you're kind of scared about kissing your new bearded boyfriend. It's one of those things that you can't avoid cause it's just there and it just happens! If you’ve ever had rug burn before, just imagine that but around your mouth. When the beard rubs against it over and over again it just rubs away our skin and leaves it raw, red, and in pain. Girls think your beards might be scary simply because we don’t want to endure the pain of beard burn no matter how handsome you might be. Sure, you might be irresistable, but we would take a nice beard burn free mouth any day. Sorry, not sorry.

12 Doesn’t That Itch?

On a hot and humid summer day, you can’t help but look at a man with a beard and wonder how the heck he’s holding up. Wouldn’t that much hair itch? Us ladies can get a tickle on the arm from the hair on our heads and throw a fit because the itch inconvenienced us so much so how on earth do guys handle hair strapped to their face? Isn't it super uncomfortable/just imagining having that much hair covering the bottom part of my face just isn’t my idea of living comfortably. So us ladies ponder the idea that facial hair must be ridiculously itchy and uncomfortable since we know that it feels course and prickly to the touch. It must be really itchy and uncomfortable but by the looks of how many guys are rocking beards they can’t be that bad.

11 Is That Food?!

One of the most unattractive things about guys who have facial hair is when they get food stuck in it. We notice even the smallest amount of food on that beard and it grosses us out to no end. We inspect your beard for food or other substances on it and will be thoroughly turned off if we find anything but perfection nuzzled away in the crevices of each hair. How do you not notice? Do you not look in the mirror? Are you saving it for later? Ew. Honestly, it's pretty shocking to find that some guys don’t have anything in their beards because let's be honest, that's impressive. You would totally get food stuck there. So if a guy can manage to approach us ladies with a clean beard we are thoroughly impressed and will gladly talk to you – but we’ll be on the lookout!

10 Shavings In The Sink

This is the most frustrating thing about a guy with any kind of facial hair, but especially a super long and crazy beard. If a guy has a beard then he more than likely (hopefully, at least) keeps it trimmed and looked proper. This means that there is a sink somewhere that is full of shavings because for some reason men must have evolved to forget all about washing shavings down the sink. Us ladies can take one look at a guy and just have pictures of sinks full of beard trimmings because we’ve all dealt with it at our own place before. It's just super annoying. We would rather have a guy who never grew a single piece of hair on his face rather than deal with a sink speckled with tiny beard hairs. Is it really that hard to just wash them down the sink or does it give guys some kind of satisfaction seeing a sink full of shavings?

9 It Looks Terrible

Sad but true: some guys can't pull off a beard to save their life. Either they have no idea how to shape it to look attractive or they just weren’t blessed with the genes that allow them to grow in that full beard which results in a patchy sick pirate looking mess of a beard. Us girls might take one look at a guy with this kind of beard and just be grossed out because it takes away from how good you look instead of adding to it – which is what beards have been known to do. It’s just a fact of life. Not everybody looks great with the newest trend and that’s beards including. All it takes is a messy, unkempt, or not very well grown beard for us ladies to bolt the other way. The hotness would not be worth the beard burn in that case.

8 It Looks Great

When we see a great looking guy that can rock a full, big, thick beard we practically melt. Forget the beard burn. Forget the sink shavings. All we focus on is how amazing that beard makes you look. We haven't quite cracked down what it is that attracts us so much to them but man do we love them! Beards have the power to turn an okay-looking guy into a sexy masterpiece carved by the gods if they can grow it and keep it groomed just right. They can be extremely distracting and cause us ladies to forget about everything except for them in that moment. The truth is that some guys just have the ability to grow massive beards that add major points to their hotness factor. When we get a good look at someone like this, our jaws will literally drop. Hey, every girl wants a lumberjack in all his manly glory.

7 Neck Beards Suck

Some guys think that it's funny or cute somehow to grow a beard that goes on their neck, too. It's on the underside of their face and on their neck, too. But nope, it's not a good look for any guy. It's gross, unkempt, messy and can even seem super dirty. There's something about having that much facial hair that will never, ever be attractive. Not at all. No girl wants to wonder just how far you beard connects to the rest of the body. Gone are the days where cavemen were a thing so there is no reason for you to revist the look. We may even roll our eyes because you think you're being funny or you're too lazy to keep your beard looking neat and sharp.  The bottom line it that pretty much all girls have though that this beard is just ridiculous.

6 Stubble Is Hot

Not all beards have to be full-fledged werewolf-level in order to be considered a beard. In fact, some of the hottest beards we have ever seen come in the form of just barely longer than stubble. They’re short, sweet, simple, and that’s why we think they are down right sexy! The subtle shade that these kinds of beards give a man’s face just shapes them in a way that makes us weak in the knees. It’s almost like they’re a scruffy man that just rolled out of bed and need some comforting – something that definitely speaks to our womanly needs more than we care to admit. But when we see this kind of beard it’s like we’re captivated by the sexiness that belongs in some kind of men’s cologne commercial – you know, the ones that we watch on repeat at home or cut out of magazines just to view their amazing faces over and over again.

5 Does He Even Comb It?

Yup, girls really don't like messy beards, and it's super frustrating to keep encountering this unfortunate issue. Every girl is going to think, does he even comb it? The difference between a messy unkempt beard and a groomed, combed, luscious looking one can make a HUGE difference in the way girls see you. Who wouldn’t want to look like they know how to take care of themselves? And now beards have become almost as important as a well kept woman, who visits the hair salon almost regularly. Tere are products specifically made for men and their beards, so really you have no excuse. Girls tend to look at a guy’s beard and think of how hygienic they are more than anything else. If you don’t have a combed or well-kept beard we will notice it and we won’t exactly like it. We never think pleasant thoughts about this.

4 He Must Be Manly

Men who can grow thick beards are manly. That’s just what all women think and it’s not even our fault, really! Women have this thought and sense in their DNA. We have been taught through evaluation that the more facial hair a man has the more “manly” he is and the more he’ll be able to protect and provide for us. This is why beards are so attractive to women (if they’re groomed properly, of course). We honestly can’t help thinking about how manly a guy is if he can pull off a big beard and grow it easily. That’s why lumberjacks are such a prominent fantasy of a lot of girls. They’re seen as really manly and I am willing to bet that a huge part of that has to do with the fact that most lumberjacks have huge billowing beards. Our minds immediately think about how manly a guy is if he has a great looking beard.

3 He’s Mysterious

There’s just something about not being able to see the lower half of a man’s face that really capture a girls attention. We look at a guy with a beard and think, “Hmm. I wonder what he looks likes under all that manliness.” We all know how much a girl loves a good mystery and by having a beard you’re showing us just how mysterious you really are and we want to be the ones to uncover what you’re hiding. It may sound far-fetched but it’s true. Part of the intrigue with a good beard is the fact that it’s hiding some of you and we really like being the people to uncover the mystery. It’s like part of a chase that we want to be the winners of. So if a guy is sporting a nice beard around us you can almost automatically think that we’re wondering what secrets he has to hide and how we can get our hands on those secrets.

2 Beard In Your Mouth: Ick

Look, we just don't know how sanitary beards are... So if we're going to hook up with you, we would probably get some of your hair in our mouth during the make-out session and that would not be very fun. No one ever really likes getting anything in ther mouth unless it's food. And nothing is worse than realizing that there is something in your mouth, it's small, it pinches, and it belongs to someone else. Overall, we might just be in a cautious mindset when we see a man with a beard simply because it might be super unhygienic and we’ll be grossed out by the idea of that. Depending on how good looking the guy is and how well-kept his beard is can play a huge role in this mindset.

1 Does It Feel Like A Hat?

Honestly, we just can’t get past the idea that you have this layer of hair covering your face! It must be super hot and uncomfortable – not to mention how much sweat can get stuck under there. We know just how annoying hair resting on our necks can be in the summer – which is why we opt for ponytails so often. But guys can’t just remove their beard and then put it back later. So we often think about just how hot it must be under all that thick hair. It must feel like they have a layer of clothing on their face and we just can’t get over how weird that must feel for them. Overall, some guys are super swoon-worthy with beards, and others just should never do it.

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