Communication is one of the cornerstones of a healthy, happy relationship, but can you really talk about anything with your man? How far does the communication with your partner actually extend? Discussing things with our significant other allows us to voice basic needs and provides an opportunity to broach difficult topics relating to the relationship such as issues of intimacy, romance, stresses, and conflicts. But no matter how strong your relationship may be or how great you think the communication between you and your partner is, there is probably a whole host of questions that your man feels uncomfortable and embarrassed about asking you. You’d be surprised how many topics still feel taboo to bring up, even in long-term relationships.
Men get a bad rep for not always being forthcoming with their emotions, but the truth is, a lot of the time it stems from an awkwardness and insecurity buried deep inside. Although the man in your life may not always voice it, he cares what you think about him and wants to be sure you’re happy with what he’s bringing to the relationship. It can be hard for anyone to initiate the more emotional topics of discussion, and it can often lead to difficult choices and unexpected truths to come out. If you’re wondering what your man is thinking sometimes, there’s a good chance he’s got these 15 questions on his mind. Haven’t heard him ask you these? He’s probably too embarrassed to ask!
15 Have you ever cheated or almost cheated?
Often people think that your relationship track record is a reflection of future relationship behavior. We all know the saying “Once a cheater, always a cheater,” and whether or not this is true, your man probably wants to know how you’ve treated your partners in previous relationships. Trust is important to have between two people in a relationship, and your guy probably wants to suss out if you’ve had trouble keeping true to your partners in the past. Cheating is never an easy topic to deal with, especially if one of you has actually been guilty of relationship betrayal. Sometimes partners avoid asking this question as ignorance is often bliss, but if monogamy is an important concern for your man, he’ll definitely be itching to ask you this dangerous question. Knowing whether or not you’ve been loyal to your boyfriends in the past may have a bearing on whether or not he feels comfortable staying in a relationship with you, but finding out the truth can be a tricky, awkward situation to deal with.
14 How do you feel about your ex?
Similar to the cheating question, concerns about whether you’re actually over your ex can bubble up and nag at your man’s brain. This is especially true if there are already trust issues creeping into your relationship. Everyone wants to know if their current partner still thinks about their ex, and if so, is it in a wishful, nostalgic way or in a casual, non-emotional fashion. Your man probably wants to know where you stand in terms of your exes and whether you continue to be close to them or not. While it’s important to be open with your partner about the kinds of relationship you continue to keep with past lovers, your man will probably avoid asking you about them out of fear of being seen as insecure. Knowing the kind of relationship you have with your exes might also give your man an indication of how bad your past breakups turned out, and whether or not you’re the kind of person that can have an amicable relationship with someone after a romantic breakup.
13 How are you with money?
Money is always seen as an awkward topic to broach and is also a subject of great curiosity amongst people. How many times have you speculated about your friends’ salaries or wondered how that one annoying friend of yours can afford her extravagant lifestyle while never seeming to have a job? Money has a way of making people act strangely, and often discussing the topic of finances can put a strain on a relationship. People tend to be secretive of their spending habits, and letting people in on our financial behavior can be embarrassing. However, getting a sense of how your partner deals with their finances is important in terms of knowing how responsible they might be if and when you end up sharing a future together. Your partner probably wants to know if your spending habits are safe enough to someday open a joint account with you or when called upon to pay shared rent on time. Talking about money is tricky, but it’s better to find out sooner rather than later if your romantic partner is a money-spending fiend.
12 Do you think we’re a mistake?
This is one of the hardest questions to face and it is unlikely that your man will voice it unless there’s really a dire need to do so. This kind of concern usually arises when couples seem to be stuck in a rut or when the relationship is going through a particularly rough patch. When things go south, it’s easy to start wondering if you’re really meant to be with your partner and whether or not it was a mistake to take the relationship this far. If your partner and you have been acting distant or if one of you seems to be unhappy, it’s easy to wonder whether or not the two of you are meant to stick together. Your partner will no doubt care deeply about your happiness and well-being, and if he senses that you’re not in a good place with him, he’ll probably be wondering if you wish he weren’t in the picture anymore.
11 What would you change about me?
This one’s probably the one we’re all most guilty of wanting to ask, and your man is no different. It’s a question that probably pops into his mind from time to time, even if your relationship is super strong and healthy. We all have our insecurities and our weaknesses, and it’s natural to want to know if our partner wishes there was something different about us. Of course, we all instinctively know what parts of our personality we need to work on, whether it’s trying to be more patient or less argumentative, or whether it’s trying to take more time in our schedules for fun. But sometimes the person you’re in a romantic relationship with will have their own ideas of how they wish you would improve, and it’s this dangerous territory of truth that is sometimes tricky to bring up. Your partner is probably dying to know if you’d like him to change in any way, but getting into that topic opens a can of worms that is often difficult to get under control once opened.
10 What do you like best about me?
Just like how he wonders what you might like to change about him, your guy is also probably curious about what you like most about him. It can be a bit awkward putting someone on the spot by asking them what it is you like best about them, but it’s likely that the thought has crossed his mind more than once. Do your man a favor and let him know what it is you love about him. Believe it or not, your opinion is probably a lot more important to your partner than he may let on, and he’ll definitely want to know what aspects of his appearance or his character make you happiest. Even the most confident men need a little ego boost now and then, and knowing what it is you like about him will make him want to emphasize those positive traits even more to make you happy.
9 What do you tell your friends about me?
Friends have been known to make or break relationships, and if you don’t have your BFF’s approval on your man, it can put your romantic relationship in an awkward, uncomfortable position. Friends are your secret safe-keepers and your man is probably very aware that anything he does is reported to your pals. But although your partner knows you naturally chat to your friends about your relationship, he’s most likely dying to know what exactly it is that you say about him. There’s no doubt he wonders whether you spilled the beans about the fights and quarrels you’ve had or even whether or not you tell your friends about the physical relationship you share with each other. Without a shadow of a doubt, your man would give anything to be a fly on the wall at your next friend group gathering to hear all the gossip you reveal about your relationship. He may never ask you directly, but he’s as curious as they come over this.
8 What does your family really think about me?
Similar to asking you about what you say about him to your friends, your man is no doubt curious about what your family really thinks about him. Sure, you might say “mom and dad loved you,” after you’ve introduced him to your family, but there’s probably an element of insecurity in his mind that makes him wonder whether or not he really has made a good impression on the people closest to you. Getting your family’s approval will be something your man understands is of the highest importance, not only for the sake of your happiness but also for the sake of your relationship’s future. Knowing your family supports your relationship makes life infinitely easier, and your man will undoubtedly want to know if those smiles your mom gives him are really sincere or just simply out of politeness. Family is for life, so he’ll definitely want to know if he makes the cut.
7 When did you know you loved me?
In every relationship, there’s usually an event or time that pinpoints the moment when you knew you were falling for your partner. Maybe it was that time he let you win at foosball in front of his friends or maybe it’s that time you were sick and he brought over chicken noodle soup. Whatever your love story origins may be, your man will be curious about what that spark-starting moment was for you. Men are so often the ones to make romantic speeches to their ladies about when it was that they first fell for them, but don’t forget, your man will be just as curious and just as likely to want to hear what your magic moment was too. The likelihood of him asking you directly is slim, but don’t be afraid to let him know. He probably has a cute story about the time he knew you were the one for him too, so don’t be shy to share!
6 Do you think about a future with me?
If there’s one thing your man is bound to want to know, it’s whether or not you can see a future with him. It’s a gross misconception to think that men aren’t interested in settling down and committing themselves to one woman for the rest of their lives. If you’ve been with your guy for a while, there’s a good chance he’s already thinking about spending a future together with you. But even if he’s already got future plans in mind with you, there’s no doubt he’s wondering if you’ve got the same intentions as he does. Coming forward and asking you if you see a future with him can seem daunting, and he may be shy to express how much he’s fallen for you. He may already be thinking about moving in with you or getting married, but getting the courage to ask you these questions will take time and he’ll want to know you’re as invested as he is in the relationship before he takes any further action on planning for your shared future.
5 What’s your biggest thrill?
Knowing what your biggest fantasy is is similar to knowing what your biggest turn on is. If you’re in a loving, healthy relationship with a guy, there’s no doubt that he’ll want to do everything he possibly can to make sure you're happy and satisfied in your relationship. This also means wanting to ensure that you are enjoying yourself as much as possible in your physical relationship, and knowing what your biggest fantasy is can be a particularly rewarding bonding experience for you and your partner. Usually the answer to this question will reveal an intimate secret about yourself that you’ve probably not shared with many before. Maybe you dream of being rescued by a firefighter or maybe you’ve always been tempted by ropes. Whatever your kink might be, your man is probably dying to know. Don’t be shy to express your desires to him. If he really loves you, he’ll want to do everything he can to make you happy and satisfied!
4 Do you think about me when we’re not together?
You might expect your man to send you texts and messages throughout the day reminding you that he’s thinking about you. But do you do the same? If you don’t, your man might be wondering if you think about him when you’re not together. Everyone likes being reminded that they’re important and loved, and your man undoubtedly hopes you spare a thought his way when you’re going about your day-to-day activities. He’s probably aware of how much you enjoy a good morning text and how happy you are when he sends surprise messages when you aren’t together. It’s important that you also remind him how much he means to you though, and even just simply letting him know that you’re thinking about him can be an easy way to keep a relationship strong and happy. Small gestures like this can go a long way in securing a relationship, so don’t forget it takes two to tango and he needs loving reminders just as much as you do!
3 Do I make you happy?
Probably the most important question your man has on his mind is whether or not you are happy in the relationship. Sure, you might smile a lot and you might not get into many arguments together, but even in the best of times, your man will be wondering if he’s really making you happy. Your partner no doubt considers your happiness to be of the utmost importance, and he’ll be wondering almost constantly if you are happy, and if not, how he can fix it. Don’t be surprised if you don’t hear him ask you this question directly though. It can be annoying being constantly asked if you’re happy or not and he probably doesn’t want to irk you with what he probably thinks is a silly question. But the truth is he is constantly wondering and hoping you are as happy with him as he is with you.
2 How do I compare to other guys?
There’s a saying that goes when you sleep with someone, you’re also sleeping with his past. As humans, we carry our intimate history with us into all subsequent relationships, and it’s hard not to wonder how you measure up against all the other people that have come before you. Your man is no doubt gagging to know how everything he’s bringing to the relationship compares to the previous men in your life, from the private stuff to the moves he's got. Thinking about our partners with their exes is an awful, morbid curiosity and generally little good will come of asking our current partner about their past lovers. Men don’t tend to like showing insecurities, so it’s doubtful your partner will actually openly ask you how he compares to your exes, but you better believe the thought has crossed his mind many, many times!
1 How am I?
One of the most important things on a guy’s mind is whether or not he’s giving you sweet satisfaction in the bedroom. It might seem silly, but of all the concerns he has, this one is paramount to his overall confidence and his sense of importance in the relationship. He’s probably dying to know what you really think of his moves in the sack, but nerves and a fragile ego are most likely getting in the way of asking you. No guy wants to know that you’re faking it, and most men tend to convince themselves that they’re the lords of love-making. It can be hard talking to your partner about intimacy, as no one wants to hurt feelings or cause insecurities, but being open and constructive about what does and doesn’t give you pleasure can be the missing ingredient in making your relationship stronger and healthier than ever before.