Falling for somebody we can't have is probably in our nature. We just love the allure of the chase. So we spend endless nights pining over somebody who is all coupled up and happy, wishing we were with them instead. It's so easy to do. It can be heartbreaking too and very difficult to get over. It's no good for you! Being wrapped up in somebody who is taken is preventing you from seeing all of the other amazing fish who are out there.
It makes you do some really stupid things too, that you will regret for a long time. You might try and slide in there or hit on your crush, because they really should be with you right? You might do lots of different reckless and annoying things because you're crushing so bad. But it's not worth it. It's not worth losing sight of your morals or embarrassing yourself for the sake of somebody who you just can't be with right now. So here's your guide to dealing with the heartache and dumb behaviour that comes with being into someone who is taken.
15 Try to break the couple up
Really!? I shouldn't have to tell you this. If the couple is as strong as they oh so annoyingly appear to be all of your efforts will be to no avail. The consequences of trying to break up a happy couple however are plentiful. First of all the object of your affection will think you're a very bad person. Anybody who finds out about what you've been trying to do will also think you're a bad person. You'll also feel like a bad person for doing it because really you are a bad person for even attempting something like that. Plus, do you really want to start a relationship on such a negative?
14 Come on to them
This is similar to attempting to break a couple up, but some people think that sex isn't as important than being in love (that's a whole other debate). Anyway, DON'T come on to your crush because you will regret it. If they're the amazing person you think they are they won't cheat on their partner. And so you'll be the one that's left high and dry, and more than a little red-faced. But let's say you do manage to woo the one you want into bed. There are no two ways of looking at it, helping someone cheat is just as bad as being the cheater. It's just morally wrong and you're better than that.
13 Get crazy drunk in their presence
If you find yourself at a bar or a party with the person you're agonizingly crushing over it might be tempting to get absolutely smashed to try and make yourself feel better. But you certainly won't find what you're looking for at the end of a wine bottle, you'll actually never find what you're looking for at the end of a wine bottle. Unless what you're looking for is a big helping of hangover guilt. Because the tipsier you get the more likely you are to do something reckless, such as following your crush around all night and finally coming onto them probably in a gross and highly embarrassing manner.
12 Stalk them
Do not stalk the guy or gal you're after on Facebook (or IRL obviously). Because you really won't enjoy what you see. More than likely they'll have a load of pictures with their bf/gf that are just too cute and will make you want to be physically sick. The more you stalk their wall and albums the more envious you'll get. You're basically just torturing yourself by doing this and it will only be upsetting if you're really into that person. Try to resist, and if you're really struggling block them from your feed so you can't see all of the adorable pictures of them with their partner, grr!
11 Annoy your friends with talk of your crush
This counts especially if you have mutual friends. You might be just dying to ask them questions about your crush, about his or her relationship too. Basically you're just digging for stuff that will make you feel better. You have this dark desire to hear about all of the fall-outs and the cracks because you feel like you might be in with more of a chance. To your friends, as much as they love you, it makes you sound annoying and whiny. Also, you might just end up hearing the things you don't want to hear i.e. they really are the perfect couple.
10 Get jealous of the person they're with
It would be so easy to let the green-eyed monster get the better of you in this situation. Somebody else has what you want, they beat you to the prize. But as much as you want to hate this crush, they're probably really not bad at all. It's not their fault that they have the hots for the person you have the hots for. If you start to get too jealous it's inevitable that you will do something you regret. You'll wind up treating somebody bad when they've done absolutely nothing wrong.
9 Stop being friends with the person you're into
At the end of the day you like this person for a reason. It might be the way they're so kind to others or the way they're so smart and talented or any other number of reasons. This means they're somebody you want in your life. Just because you secretly want them doesn't mean you shouldn't be friends. Don't stop respecting them for not being with you either. Take a step back and realize that they can't help not being into you right now as much as you can't help being into them.
8 Blame yourself
Sorry for repeating myself a million times but I can't stress this enough and I'm trying to make you feel less bad. It's not your fault that you fancy this person. We can't control matters of the heart. So there's no need to go thinking that you're foolish and naiive because of the circumstances you're in. You are certainly not entirely to blame. He or she may have flirted with you or given you the attention you've been craving. In your head this is like a big green light saying go get 'em. You can't be blamed for liking this person if this is the case. Similarly, happy chemicals flood your brain when you're around a crush – you can't be blamed for craving that high.
7 Let that person take advantage of you
If your crush knows you like them it's bound to be flattering so don't worry that they'll be angry or scared or whatever. Nobody ever found out somebody liked them and was angry about it. It's not necessarily a bad thing but it's not necessarily a good thing either. Some (pretty awful) people might see this as an opportunity to use and manipulate you. They could string you along, allowing you to think you're in there every once in a while, only to have their own ego flattered. Or they could have you wrapped around their little finger doing things for them because you fancy them, anybody seen Catfish?
6 Think you'll never have a chance
You're probably doing the whole whiny self-pity thing right now. Why aren't they with me? But if you feel that you really like this person, or you're maybe even in lurrve with this one then it might be worth just biding your time. If you choose to do so, be their friend and just wait. There might be a possibility of you two getting it together in the future. People breakup all the time for all different reasons. But this is a tough choice. For all you know you could be waiting years for the pair to breakup and then more time on top of that for the person you like to get over it and move on (to you). So you really need to think, is it worth it?
5 Stay off the market
This is probably a much better option. You should find somebody else to crush on. You might wind up with the person you're crushing on now in the future, you might not. There's no point sitting around twiddling your thumbs when you could be having a lot of fun. You need to get over it. Put yourself back out there again and try to find somebody more suitable or at the very least, somebody whose single.
4 Think they're God's gift
When you're really enamoured with someone you think they're so amazing, so special. They could do something really gross and disgusting and you would still think it's the best ever gross, disgusting thing anybody has ever done in the history of the universe. The harsh reality of it is they're probably not all that. It's only when you stop crushing on them that you'll realize that. You'll stop seeing the object of your affection through those rose-tinted shades and see them for who they really are, which is a normal person and not a superhero.
3 Hate yourself
When you realize somebody doesn't love you back it can be a real blow to your self-esteem. It's only downhill from there. This might make you think you're unattractive and unworthy of such a lovely boyfriend or girlfriend. Don't let these thoughts creep in because the truth is that the one you want can't be with you right now. It doesn't mean you're not a hottie. Now's just not the right time for you two. Even if they breakup with their partner, oh wait we're not supposed to say that, and they're still not into you it still doesn't mean you're not a hottie. It might just be as simple as you not being their type, you probably have a type and so do they.
2 Forget you only like them because you can't have them
Ahh this age old paradigm is an absolute killer in the love game. We constantly go after people who we can't (or think we can't) have. That's why you crush on totally inappropriate people like your college professor or doctor or any other off-limits cuties, including people who are coupled up. So, remember that you may only be into this person because you can't have them or you enjoy a chase or a challenge. A lot of the time you just like the idea of a person rather than the reality. If they were your date you might actually be really bored.
1 Keep crushing on them
Just as you would have to do if you were an addict, you need to admit to yourself that there is NO CHANCE of you being with this person right now. As much as it hurts, as much as you don't want to believe it, it's the first step to getting over your lover with another. Try your very best to switch your focus and stop thinking about this person. It may take some time but eventually you'll move on and find someone who is right for you right now which is what you absolutely deserve. Go get 'em my lovelies!
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