There are two schools of thought when it comes to having things in common with the guy that you're dating. On the one hand, sure, you want to have a common bond because romance fades. On the other hand, they say that opposites attract and you want to find your partner totally fascinating instead of completely boring. When it comes to this topic, there really are no right or wrong answers, and for every couple it will be totally different. But typically, there really are a few things that you probably want to have in common with the person that you're choosing to share your life with since otherwise, life with him might be a little bit more difficult than it should be. Or that you want it to be. Here are 15 things that you should have in common with your boyfriend. If you don't, you don't have to dump him ASAP if he's a decent guy, but it's something to keep in mind.
15 TV Shows
Okay, so it's not like you can't date someone who a.) hates all kind of TV or b.) doesn't watch your ultimate fave shows. After all, it's hard to find a guy that loves Pretty Little Liars or The Real Housewives. Yup, most guys don't love that stuff, and that's a gender difference that is totally and completely okay. But if your BF really, really doesn't want to watch any TV at all and that's something that is a big part of your life, that might cause some real issues. They don't say that Netflix and chill is a date idea for nothing. You want to binge-watch with your partner on a regular basis since hey, you've had a long day (or week) at the office and you need to chill out. And you want to spend time together. So hey, sitting in front of the TV it is. It's generally pretty great if you and your boyfriend both have the desire to check out the latest Netflix show that everyone loves since that's a way that you can continue to bond, connect and hang out together.
14 Leisure Time
If your boyfriend is a total and complete workaholic and he never wants to relax with you on a Sunday afternoon, that might be a problem. Okay, that might be a really big problem. It's not enough to see him weeknights and Friday and Saturday nights if you really want to get closer, be in a really serious relationship, and share your life together. It's not that you should tell him to quit his job or stop trying to be successful because that would be pretty lame. And of course, you want to be successful, too. And working some weekends is totally fine and even necessary. It's hard in this day and age to not do that every once in a while. But that's what it should be if you're interested in a good relationship: every once in a while. Ask your boyfriend if he could possibly scale back a tiny bit so he can focus more on you if that's what is important to you. But if you and your BF both like to hang out and relax on the weekends, then that's really great since you won't have that kind of conflict and tension.
People always talk about morals and values and how important that is when you're trying to find a partner, and it's honestly true. If you and your boyfriend don't see eye-to-eye when it comes to those things -- particularly political issues and societal problems -- well, you might want to think about breaking up. Your beliefs and perspective definitely mean a lot to you and they're actually who you are. You want certain things to happen in the political world and you support certain candidates for a good reason. You believe those things and you should never stop. It's tricky to date someone who believes the opposite of you, especially if he seems like a decent guy in general but unfortunately doesn't seem to get it when it comes to morals and values. You really should have these things in common because otherwise, it will definitely be a disaster and things will come to a head at some point.
12 Family Background
It's okay if your boyfriend's parents are divorced and if yours have always been super happily married. That's definitely not grounds for dumping him. But it's not going to be tons of fun if you really believe in family and your boyfriend just doesn't. What if you love hanging out with yours all the time and your boyfriend never even sees his? He won't want to hang out with your own, and he will probably give you a hard time when you try to get him to. That's just not going to be much fun. The same problem will come up if you really want to get married and have kids someday because hey, he might not believe in any of those things and it's so much better to figure that out sooner rather than later. It's really going to be so much simpler if you have a similar family background and the same kinds of beliefs and ideas about having your own family.
11 Work Ethic
Sure, if you take weekends off and your BF never stops working, that's a real issue. But the same thing goes with your work ethic. On the flip side, if you have an amazing work ethic and you are striving to become something super successful and your boyfriend is super lazy and just doesn't care about his own career, that's not a match made in heaven. It's really not. Eventually, you're going to resent him for not putting enough effort and energy into his own work life, and eventually, he might feel that way about you too since he's going to think that you're judging him. And well, you kind of are, whether or not you mean to. If you both have great work ethics and you both work weekends, then that's great since you can spend time together when you want to and if you both freelance, you can even work together in the same place.
10 Vacation Ideas
It's really great when you and your boyfriend have the same kind of vacation ideas. If you both love to relax and chill out, then a beach trip is pretty much your dream, and that's not going to cause a fight or any kind of conflict. Bonus. But maybe you love that kind of trip and he wants to go to European cities and spend the entire time walking around and exploring. Sure, you can each take turns going on the kind of trip that one of you really wants, but that might cause some resentment and arguments. This is totally fine if you can both be super mature and not fight about it. But chances are, you're going to fight because this is a common trigger point in a lot of couples. This is different for everyone and maybe you're okay going on separate trips with your guy or forcing yourself to like a trip when you're not having fun at all. But things are much simpler and happier when you have this in common.
9 Your Personalities
The truth is that while opposites do sometimes attract, having a totally different personality from your partner can cause a whole lot of problems. If your boyfriend is super serious and basically has zero sense of humor and you are pretty much a stand-up comedian, isn't that going to be a huge problem? How are you really going to get along? The same thing goes if your guy just does not get your jokes or if he is always acting like you are too spontaneous or impulsive or whatever else. You are going to feel like you are a loser and like you are being insulted all the time. And you do not need to feel bad about yourself because hey, you are amazing and no one should ever make you feel anything other than fabulous. It is just much easier when you can both truly get along and really understand each other.
8 How Traditional You Are
Some people want to do all the traditional relationship things and meet every milestone. They want to move in with their partner, get engaged, get married, have kids, etc. And others? Well, not so much. They want to be super unique and do whatever they want. They don't necessarily need to get married in order to feel close to the person that they're with and it's more about sharing those life experiences. But the thing is that it's super rare that a couple can feel differently about these things and still wind up together in the end (or if they do stay together, they fight a lot and there is tons of resentment and that's not a good scene for anyone). Honestly, haven't you seen a single movie where the couple didn't agree on these super important things?! Yeah, exactly. Try to find a partner who feels the same way as you and your life will be a million times easier.
7 How Social You Are
Sure, you can date a guy who doesn't have a huge social circle and loves to stay home all the time. But if you are super social and enjoy going out all the time -- like pretty much every single night of the week -- then that might cause some arguments and resentment. Maybe not now, maybe not right away, but definitely later on. And that's not a road that you want to go down. Try to find someone who is as social or not as social as you are. You don't want to leave your partner at home night after night when he doesn't want to go to your best friend's birthday party or a work event that you got invited to. And vice versa. You don't want to be left watching Netflix because your boyfriend never stops hanging out and drinking with his friends. It might not be something that you think about on first dates but hey, it's pretty relevant.
6 Your Future Plans
Saving up to buy a condo? Then you probably don't want to date a guy who's still living in his parents' basement... and who never, ever wants to change that living situation. Want to quit your job and start your own business? Then a lazy person who hates their job might not be the best life partner for you. You want to think about your future plans when you're dating and trying to find someone to share your days with. You may not think that it's super relevant, and hey, it might not be at the beginning. You can't exactly talk about the future on the first date or even the second or third one. That's just crazy and might be a little bit scary. But eventually, when you're definitely in a serious relationship with this person, this is something to talk about and consider. You will see these things in a subtle way as well so you don't have to think this will be some big scary talk, either.
5 How Much You Care
Hey, it may seem obvious, but it's not always. Some people are just so used to being in a relationship that they can't imagine not having a boyfriend in their life. But you should absolutely have this important and big thing in common: how much you care about each other. If you are really, really in this for the long term and your boyfriend doesn't feel the same way, then you've got a bigger problem than you might even realize. If you are really in love but he always claims that he's not ready to say that and that he doesn't want a commitment, then that's a huge deal. Think about this because if you feel there are some imbalances in terms of how much you two care about each other, things are going to go downhill sooner rather than later. And like any other relationship issue, you want to figure this out now.
4 At Least One Hobby/Interest
Sure, your boyfriend might not want to head to your yoga and barre classes, and you might not want to take up basketball or whatever he's into. Maybe he's super into craft beer and the taste makes you feel sick. But the truth is that you should have at least one hobby or interest in common with your boyfriend. That's because you want to be able to spend as much time together as possible, and if you have something in common like this, then this is a great activity. Maybe you can even spend more time together by suggesting to your boyfriend that you both take up something new. It could be running, photography, a wine tasting class, a cooking class, a new language -- literally anything. You won't believe how much more connected and bonded you feel, and plus you'll get a new skill out of the whole deal.
3 Your Lifestyle
If you're super active and love to eat healthy, can you really date someone who is super lazy and lies around playing video games and eating junk food drinking beer all day long? Yeah, you could date him... but it's not going to be a super happy match. It's just not. You should have your lifestyle in common with the guy that you're going to call your boyfriend. You're both going to be much happier if you don't have to lecture him on how no, you don't want to order pizza yet again tonight and yeah, you really do want to get up early Sunday morning to go to a workout class. If you're not super health-oriented, then this isn't a big deal, but chances are you probably are since society is going more and more in that direction these days. So you probably want to find a partner who agrees with you that staying healthy and having energy is important.
2 Your Joy For Life
Hey, it may sound super cheesy. Okay, it definitely does. But life is meant to be lived and you should every single day. You really don't have much of a choice. Okay, you do, but being miserable and unhappy isn't really the best way to be. You're not going to be super attractive to anyone in your life, from coworkers to family members to friends... to, yes, future boyfriends. So if you call someone your boyfriend, you want him to have this positive attitude, too. Or at least you should if you want to continue to have a joy for life. If your guy complains about everything in his life or is never in a good mood, you can already guess that's not going to make you very happy in return. So try to find someone who feels the same way as you and who tries their best to look on the bright side. You probably won't be super into someone who's not as happy as you, anyway.
1 Your Expectations
If you expect something from your boyfriend that he just doesn't want to give you, then that is going to be a real problem. Expectations are more important in relationships than a lot of people realize. And since this isn't a super fun thing to think about, no one can blame anyone in a relationship for not wanting to consider this. But it needs to be done, unfortunately. If you expect your BF to spend more time with you or cut back on his bro time and he just won't do it, then that's a problem that you have to deal with, and that's going to ruin your relationship faster than you probably even realize. You have to have expectations in common. You have to expect that your partner will give you the love and care and compassion and support that you need, and you should give him the same. If that's not happening, you might be single sooner than you think.