When a woman dares to say that she doesn’t want to have children, she’s quickly bombed by a million different comments and questions that can be very insulting, hurtful or just plain annoying, as if deciding not have children is something forbidden and something to feel ashamed of. There’s nothing wrong with deciding to remain childless, but society still has a hard time accepting these people, with the tendency to view them as if they’re defying the laws of human nature and causing harm to themselves and others. In reality they’re actually leaving more natural resources for future generations.
It is a personal decision where society doesn’t have a say in it, but still society has a lot to say regarding other people’s reproductive wishes. Phrases, comments and questions that they hate and that are very common, like the ones mentioned here.
15 You’ll Regret it When You’re Old
Making the decision to have a child shouldn’t be based on the possibility that you might regret it someday down the line if you don’t. If someone doesn’t want to have children and they have them for the sole reason of not regretting it down the line, then they might regret having them. Because once you have them you can't undo it, you’re a parent forever. It is not an experience that will pass.
So women who don’t want to have children should bring a human life into this world just to avoid the possibility of regretting not having them? What if they have them and they regret it? A human being would have been placed upon this earth and raised by a person who does not love the job and we all know that when we do a job that we don’t love we make ourselves miserable and do a poor job. This should not be a reason to have a child and women are tired of hearing this.
14 Having A Child Gives Life Meaning
There are over 7 billion people on the planet, they’re all somebody’s son or daughter and I don’t see the world leading meaningful lives. Of course many are, but that’s not the case for the majority, otherwise depression and anxiety wouldn't be illnesses that are spreading like the plague. Having a child doesn’t necessarily give life a bigger meaning (well maybe for some), but people really need to stop pushing this belief down people’s throats. There are many other things that can bring joy and meaning to someone’s life; meditation, yoga, rescuing animals, planting a tree, finding a more meaningful purpose to life; the list is endless.
There are many different ways of finding meaning to life, having a child is not the one and only thing that gives meaning to someone’s life. Finding meaning is a personal journey that should not be determined by other people’s senseless opinions.
13 Having A Child Is A Blessing
I will repeat myself. There are over 7 billion people on the planet; within that 7 billion people, there are pedophiles, murderers, corrupted politicians, burglars and Donald Trump. I don’t think we consider those people blessings do we? Would you consider murderers blessings? Of course not!!! Well… all of them were babies at some point (I know it’s hard to imagine), babies who were raised to become despicable adults.
We don’t hold any control what so ever as to how parents decide to raise their babies, which means that the majority of them don’t become blessings for our world. Not every baby is a blessing, especially if it’s an unwanted child, or a child raised by horrible parents who end up becoming a criminal or a menace to society. And people who say this annoying phrase are not perceived as ‘blessings’ for people who don’t want to have children.
12 You’ll Change Your Mind
Telling an adult that they will change their mind regarding their decision to not have children is perceived as an insult, because they’re making the remark that they don’t have the stable mindset to make important choices in their lives and that they will change their mind on a whim. It’s like telling a person who wants to have children “you’ll change your mind”. Yeah! It would be a pretty nasty thing to say right? Well it goes both ways.
No!! Many and I mean many people out there won’t change their minds about their decision to not have children because they are making a conscious and responsible decision about it. They are taking their own productivity into their own hands and going against what is expected of them (which is to have children) and having people make these kinds of comments is an insult to their intelligence.
11 Who’s Going To Take Care Of You When You're Old?
Come on!! People who ask about this may not be fully understanding in what they are saying. So the purpose of having children is guaranteeing free care for your old age? Isn’t this an extremely selfish reason to decide to have children? Just so you can have someone to take care of you. Of course it’s nice when people’s children take care of their parents, but it shouldn’t be expected and most importantly, it shouldn’t be the reason why someone decides to have children. Many people who have children find themselves alone in their old age, so it’s not even a guarantee that your children will take care of your when you’re old. They might move to another country or they might simply not care about taking care of their parents. With the amount of people that have to move away from their parents. they might only get the chance to visit their folks once a year. How well will they be able to take care of them in that case. Some don't even bother with their parents once they are of age to move out of the house.
Besides, with all the money that childless people can save they can easily afford an early retirement or to place themselves in a nursing home.
10 Your Parents Want Grandchildren
Fair enough. I would want to win the lottery and have a talking monkey but you can't have everything you want. Deciding to have children is a personal decision for the woman who would be caring for the child and giving birth to it. It is a life changing decision that should never be based on the wishes and desires of those around her. Parents have lived their lives and they have raised their children, they shouldn’t demand or expect for their children to make them grandparents. They are their own person, with their own dreams, wishes and desires. If those are different to those of their parents it is not their fault and they shouldn’t be living the life that others expect for them to live. The beautiful part about society today is the amount of people standing up for what they believe in, and if that includes those who don't want to conform to societal norms then so be it.
9 What If Your Partner Wants To Have Children
Of course! This is very important. It is crucial for a couple to take into account what the other person wants, but children are not puppies. A woman or a man shouldn’t become a parent just because it’s what her/his partner wants. It is better for a couple to speak about this important subject and avoid destroying their lives with something that they don’t want. I know this might sound selfish but you can't force a woman who doesn’t want to have children to have one just because it is what her partner wants, and it goes the same way for men. If a couple feels very differently about this subject then it is better for them to take separate roads, especially if it’s something extremely important to them. There’s nothing worse than regretting having children, or regretting never having their own children. It is one of the most important decisions a person will make in their lifetime, it needs to be taken carefully and yes! With some selfishness involved. We’re talking about bringing a human being into this world, not about buying a new car.
8 You’ll Never Know Real Love
If you need to have a child to experience love then it is a sad reason to have a child. I know it is something that we all want and seek. Love is a powerful emotion that makes us feel great and some people will go to unimaginable lengths to experience it.
But having a child is not a guarantee of love, you have no way of knowing what kind of adults or teenagers they will turn out to be, they might even hate you for all you know. Love starts with ourselves; we all need to first love ourselves.
People who decide not to have children can also experience love in so many ways, love towards their parents, love towards their friends, love towards their partners and love towards the world. Yes! They might not know what it feels like to have a child, but that doesn’t mean they live loveless lives.
7 It Is The Only Way You Can Leave Something In This World
Wrong! It is the only way you can leave your DNA in this world but it is not the only way you can leave something of yours in this world. You can plant trees, write a book, create a painting, build a house and the list can go own. There are so many significant things that a human being can leave in the world. Trees are particularly important because they give oxygen to the planet and they’re good for the environment. Children on the other hand carry a BIG negative environmental footprint on the planet. From the moment they’re born they start polluting, especially with those non-biodegradable diapers that destroy the environment.
Having biological children is the only way that you can pass down your genes and many people have genes that should not be reproduced because they carry horrible genetic illnesses that can be transmitted to innocent fetuses that never wished to be born.
6 It Is Why We’re Here On Earth
This is a religious belief and not everyone is religious, people’s religious opinions should be kept to themselves. I think we’ve all disliked those people who knock on your door trying to push their religious beliefs down your throat, well… same goes with people who say this phrase.
The reason why we’re here on earth varies depending on each person’s personal beliefs and people who don’t want to have children might even be religious but that doesn’t mean that they have to procreate against their wishes to satisfy their religion. Again!! It is a personal decision and religious congregations won't be paying for the kid, taking care of the kid or waking up at all hours of the night to care for it. So they shouldn’t have a say over a woman’s reproductive decisions.
5 It’s Your Purpose As A Woman
Unfortunately for women in the Middle Ages, this was their only purpose and they were severely mistreated because of this sexist belief that only diminishes a woman’s purpose. Women are not breeders! Yes, they can carry a human being in their bodies but that doesn’t mean that that’s their sole purpose on this planet. There are women fighting for equality, for animals and for the environment. There are woman who are fighting for immigrants and for a better world. There’s so much that a woman can do and carrying a child in their bellies is just one of them.
This idea might have been pushed down for generations, but it is the 21st century and women have a right to say whether they decide to have children or not. A woman is not made a woman by procreating; a woman is a woman because she defines herself as such. A transgender woman is still a woman even if she can’t get pregnant, a woman who is sterile is still a woman even if she can't get pregnant and a woman who doesn’t want to have children is still a woman.
4 You’re Selfish
Not necessarily. Of course many men and women don’t want to have children because they don’t want to care for someone else for at least 18 years, but that doesn’t mean they’re selfish. They’re making a responsible, well thought-out decision and they’re avoiding giving another human being any suffering by conceiving it just so they can feel like they’re giving something back to the world. Many people who don’t want to have children volunteer in different charities and contribute to this world in many ways. But they are certainly not selfish.
Having children doesn’t make you a selfless person, there are many people with children out there who forget that we share this planet with billions of people and many of whom live in extreme poverty and need help.
3 If Your Parents Would Have Thought Like You Do, You Wouldn’t Be Here
So what, I wouldn’t know because I wouldn’t be here, just like the fourth sibling I don’t have because it was never conceived. This is just an idiotic phrase that makes no sense. So does this mean that people should just start procreating like rabbits so they can give a living being consciousness? This doesn’t even make sense!
The world is overpopulated; the last thing that this world needs is more humans. What we need is to start taking better care of the people who are already on this planet. According to UNICEF statistics there are over 132 million orphans in the world. These are children who are already on this planet and need someone to care for them because they’re absolutely helpless. We can care more about the children of the world if we start by taking care of the ones who are already here, instead of bringing more into this planet. This would not only help world poverty but it would also help the environment. Humans are a huge weight in every eco-system on the planet.
2 You’re Life Will Be Empty
No! Having a child doesn’t make your life complete. For some people it does and it’s great for them that they can find fulfillment in their lives. But every single human being upon this earth is different and what gives fulfillment to some can be a curse to others. Not all of us were meant to be parents and that doesn’t mean we’re horrible human beings, it means that we find joy and fulfillment in other things, things that parents might find joyless, but that is the beauty of being different, that we all care about different things.
Being a horrible human being would be having a baby against your wishes, because in such cases it’s very likely that you wouldn’t give it your all to raise that kid and they might grow to be resentful adults that hate the world around them and become a burden to society.
1 You Probably Had a Terrible Childhood
Not in every case. Some people who don’t want to have children did have horrible childhoods but many others had beautiful childhoods with loving parents and a wonderful family. There’s not really a profile that characterizes people who don’t want to have children. It’s just like chocolate, some people don’t like chocolate and we can't create a psychological profile to understand why not, it’s just wishes and desires and we don’t all wish for the same. That doesn’t mean that people who don’t want to have children hated their childhoods and it’s extremely insulting to be saying this phrase because you’re trying to put the blame on something when there’s nobody to be blamed, there is no fault in wishing not to have children.