First dates are definitely a crazy experience. On the one hand, we're super hopeful because you could meet the love of your life. On the other hand, if we've been on enough dates, we know that most of them are pretty awful. And who wants to sit across from another boring person making awkward small talk and having zero fun? Yeah, exactly. The funny thing is that while we tend to blame the guys that we go out with for not being interesting enough on a first date or being super weird, we have our role to play in this too. After all, they do say that it takes two to tango. And it definitely takes two to make a first date absolutely amazing... or completely horrible. Unfortunately, we keep acting a certain way on first dates even though it might not be in our best interest, especially if we want to find love. Here are 15 things women keep doing on dates even though men hate them.
15 Refusing To Order Food
Yup, guys hate that we can't order food on a first date. We're all humans here, right? Don't we eat in our normal, everyday life? How could we possibly think that a guy would think it's weird that we're ordering a cheeseburger or even something healthier like salmon and rice and vegetables? But for whatever reason, we're not super comfortable with ordering food on a date, especially a first one. We do refuse to order food because we would rather drink a glass or two of red wine and just get to know this guy without worrying about spilling food on ourselves, getting distracted by our meal, or just generally embarrassing ourselves. Sure, we get that it's kind of silly to feel this way. And yeah, we know that guys don't like it. But no matter how much men hate that we refuse to order food on a first date, we still do this. Every time.
14 Asking Too Many Questions
It's difficult not to ask a ton of questions on a first date. We want to get to know this guy as well as we possibly can. And yeah, we have some deal breakers that we have to think about, and we're always on the lookout for any red flags that are going to rear their ugly heads. We're doing a lot of work on a first date between wondering if we're attracted to this guy and trying to see if we like his personality. Along with all of that stuff, we tend to ask a lot of questions. We really just want to know things about this guy and it's tough to figure out what school he went to or what his job or where he grew up without asking this straight up. Sure, sometimes the conversation flows in a certain direction and we don't have to ask a million questions. But the majority of the time on a first date, we ask questions. Guys hate this... but we can't stop. Sorry?
13 Checking Our Phone
Okay, okay. We totally get that we shouldn't be checking our cell phones on a date... and especially a first date. But sometimes we just have to check the time. If it's a weeknight, we're thinking about getting home at a decent hour so we can wake up early for work the next day. We also might be worried about something work related and we think that we should probably check our email to see if something happened or if there's an answer that we need to send super fast. Hey, we're not trying to be rude or insensitive or anything like that. We're just trying to still keep our lives on track because just because we're on a first date doesn't mean this is the only thing that we have going on. We have crazy busy lives and packed schedules and maybe we don't even have enough time to be sitting here on this date right now, but we're trying our best to find love so we're making the time. We get that guys hate when we check our phones, but it's a bad habit that is really hard to break.
When a lot of us are nervous (like we all are on first dates, if we're totally honest), we tend to ramble. We just can't help it. We start talking and it's like we just can't stop, no matter what. We tell this new guy about our work problems, about our friend drama, about our fave guilty pleasure TV shows, about our opinions about everything under the sun. We notice that we're rambling... and it's like that makes us ramble even more. Oops. We know this is not something that is super attractive to the majority of men because they want us to be a bit more mature and calm and level-headed. But we can't push our personality deep down -- we have to be who we are at all times. And sometimes we ramble and that's just who we are. We hope that guys can see this is a super cute, charming and quirky. But until then, we know that they hate our rambling... and yet we keep doing it.
11 Expecting Them To Pay
Sorry to all the men out there, but we think that if you're a gentleman, then you foot the bill. It's not like we're ordering a five-course dinner and five drinks here and then refusing to pay and making the guy spend $200 on us. We're having a glass of wine and that's like 7-10 bucks, depending on what bar we go to. When we expect the man to pay, we're just thinking that this is the way that it's always been on first dates, and this is what society wants. We figure that if the man likes us enough, he wants to play that old-fashioned role and pay the bill. We do know that a lot of guys are upset and act like we're gold-diggers because we get offended when they don't offer to pay. But sorry guys. We just think this is part of the whole first date deal. It's not that we won't offer to pay because of course, we will. And when you insist on paying, we feel that you are as into us as we are into you. But we will say thank you and we do appreciate it.
For some reason, a lot of men tend to think that women should never share too much. They claim that we need to stop talking about everything that we're doing and thinking and feeling. Sometimes it seems to make them uncomfortable. But hey, we're living our lives and having fun and we're going to talk about what's going on in our worlds. And sometimes, yeah, we do talk about this stuff on a first date. We talk to the guy as if we already know him and as if he's already a part of our life. We do this because it's hard to seem superficial and not talk about anything important. We also do this because we want this to feel like less of an awkward first date and more like a normal hang-out. So to all the men out there who hate when we overshare on a first date: we know that you hate this but we're not going to stop. So we might just have to agree to disagree on this one and move on.
9 Wearing Too Much Make-Up
It's no secret that men hate when women wear a lot of makeup. They kind of hate when women wear any make-up at all. The problem with this is that we're just going to wear whatever makeup we want anyway. We really don't care what men have to say about this subject. We love foundation, blush, mascara, eyeshadow, and lipstick. No, we don't wear all of those at the same time, no matter how much most guys seem to think so. We totally follow the rule of having bold eye makeup or lips, but never both, so when men say that we wear a lot, we're not sure that it's really true. We're never going to go on a first date with a totally bare face. Men act like they want this but really, they want women to look as good as possible, and hey, looking our best means wearing some stuff on our face. That's just the way that it goes and that's just what's going to happen.
8 Looking Fancy
Since when do men want women to wear the most casual outfit ever on a first date? Even though men hate when we wear a fancy outfit on a first date, we're ogling to keep wearing what we want, no matter what they think about it. We don't want to show up on a first date wearing jeans and a t-shirt and sneakers. We just don't. That's the outfit that we wear running errands or heading to the gym, it's not first date attire. We want to feel our best on a first date since we're putting our best foot forward and trying to make a good impression... and that means looking good, too. And clothes are a huge part of looking and feeling good. We think that our definition of a fancy outfit is kind of different from most guys because we like to wear a nice dress and maybe some heels or high heel boots, but we really don't wear anything too crazy.
7 Talking About Work
A lot of men tend to think that if we ask questions about their job, that means that we're judging them on their choice of career and how they spend their days. We're totally not and nothing could honestly be further from the truth. We just care about our careers and want to find a boyfriend who cares about his job, too, because having a strong work ethic and some motivation and goals are super important to us. This is just something that we think about a lot, so it makes sense that on a first date, we want to talk about it. Unfortunately for us, we're not on the same page as most guys about this, because they hate when we talk about work. They especially hate when we ask them about a billion work-related questions like whether they like their position, how long they've been at their company, and whether this is really what they see themselves doing for the near and far future. Hey, sorry, but we're not really sorry about this because we need to know this information.
6 Looking Bored
Of course, men hate when we look bored on a first date. There's no way that they wouldn't, right? This kind of proves that they're super dull and that they can't keep us interested and entertained, even for a quick drink date. But no matter how much guys hate when we look bored on a first date, this is something that we're just going to keep doing. We can't keep a straight face when we're not having any fun at all and we can't pretend to be enjoying ourselves when we're not. That just seems super hard and it honestly feels like a lie. We're not trying to be rude or anything like that. We just don't have much of a poker face. So when we're not having a good time on a first date, we're not going to fake laugh or fake smile. We're going to just nod politely and try to rack our brains to find stuff to talk about. And yeah, we're thinking about when we can finally get out of here and go home.
5 Getting Personal
It's a shame that some guys think it's so awful to talk about personal stuff on a first date. Sure, we're not about to bring up our latest bad date or our most recent ex-boyfriend. We know the rules and we don't talk about stuff like that. But we do like to get kind of personal on a first date. We like to talk about ourselves, our hopes, our dreams, our goals, and maybe some of our latest setbacks. We want to be real and we don't want to pretend to be someone that we're not. Unfortunately, this doesn't make for the best first dates because some men don't love when women don't seem completely perfect. But we still do this even though men hate it and we're still going to. We want to wait for the guy who's going to be okay with talking about something real and something serious, and we don't want a surface level first date because that just leads to a superficial relationship.
4 Bringing Up The Future
A huge rule of first dates: don't bring up the future. Ever. Don't say we're going on vacation next month, don't bring up wanting to get married and have kids, don't even say what we're doing this weekend or even tomorrow. Okay, maybe that last part is a bit of a stretch, but not that much. Even though we know this old-school rule, we still bring up the future on first dates. It's hard not to. It's pretty much impossible, actually, because we do have busy and fulfilling lives and trips on the horizon and plans that have already been made. It's silly to pretend otherwise and we're just not going to do that. When it comes to talking about the romantic futures that we want, we're not going to lie about that, either, and if a guy asks us what we're looking for, we're going to be honest. We're going to say that we want to find a relationship and start a family someday. Who cares if guys hate this? Why would we pretend we don't want something that we do?
3 Getting Our Hopes Up
It's an old story that we all know super well: we go on a first date trying our very best not to get our hopes up. We know that all too often, we think that this guy will be our future boyfriend/best friend/soulmate/fave person ever, despite our best efforts to not think too far ahead. We just can't help this, because no matter how many horrible first dates we go on, we still have hope. And we still believe in love and want to find it someday. So even though guys hate that we get our hopes up on first dates and expect them to want a relationship with us, this is something that is honestly very difficult for us to control. We're all hopeless romantics deep down, even if we try to pretend otherwise. But the truth is that we wouldn't want to be any other way. We don't want to be cold-hearted or cynical. We want to be loving and caring and hopeful.
2 Leaving Early
Yup. We're going to leave early if a.) we're not having fun at all and/or b.) the guy is being super weird. It's just the way that it's going to go. We have enough stuff to think about without spending another boring hour talking to someone that we just will never, ever want to see again. We know that guys hate when we leave early on a first date. They hate that we always blame work and say we have to go back home and get some stuff done, or that we have to wake up early in order to get to the office. They never really know whether or not to believe us because so many of us give the work excuse when we want to bail on a first date early. But whether or not guys will get used to this and just respect the fact that we don't want to date them, we're not going to stop. We need an out when we're not comfortable or when the date is going really, really badly. We've all had those nights when we refuse to leave early and spend too much time with someone that we just don't see a future with. So we're not going to waste our time anymore.
1 Expecting A Goodbye
When we like a guy, we would love to know how he felt before we leave the first date. Men don't love that lots of us expect a real goodbye on the first date. That's why they stand there so awkwardly, looking at us and waiting for us to say something, whether we're standing beside our restaurant table, in the doorway, or outside of the nearest subway station. To all the men out there: we do really expect a goodbye. We want you to tell us if you enjoyed the evening and if you would like to see us again. We want you to look us in the eyes and smile and say something nice. And if you don't like us, don't worry, we can totally take that. It's not going to be the worst thing that has ever happened to us. Maybe there's no attraction and that is totally mutual, and in that case, we don't care at all if you're not into us because we don't feel we want to see you again, either. But we still want you to be polite and say goodbye. That's the only way to have at least a hope of a second date.