If relationships were easy, no one would break up, and the pain of having a broken heart would never be an issue. We all wish this was the way it worked. The reality—though—is that couples break up all of the time. Whether it's him or you, someone has to call things off for the two of you to be officially over.
There are a lot of reasons why men can't deal with women while dating. Even though others paint us in a picky light regarding relationships, men are just as similar. If you do something that rubs him the wrong way, the relationship may be at high-risk of ending. Sometimes it's understandable why a man would want to run for the hills, while other times not as much.
There are common things we women do that make men think differently. A lot of times, we don't even realize that it's turning our partners off. While we think we're giving a relationship our all, we're actually pushing him away. We can't let this keep going. In the hopes of keeping relationships alive, we want to get the word out. These are the top things you're doing that make him want to get out.
15 Tearing Him Down In Front Of Others
Guys enjoy feeling like they're on top of the world. Even when they're not all that cool, they want to feel like a million bucks. For you, it's just something you have to accept. That doesn't mean the guy can treat you poorly if he's on an ego trip. You just need to affirm him to make him feel special.
A lot of guys like to feel this way when they're in public. In a way, it's a setting that can make or break a couple. One of the things you can do to hurt the relationship is put him down in front of others.
When you do this, you make him feel small. If there is anything guys don't like—it's appearing to be unimportant around friends and family.
A lot of times, when you put a man down, it's actually because you like them and are choosing to pick on them as a way of engaging with them. Guys don't get this though. But according to Seventeen, giving a guy a hard time may just be one way of flirting. Men don't always pick up on duplicity since they're more used to taking things at face value. As a result, he thinks he's the brunt of your jokes. This will turn him away faster than a heartbeat.
14 Anybody Home? Driving By His House
While it might seem like a harmless thing for a girl to keep tabs on her beau, it can have major repercussions. It may even be a surefire way of ending the relationship. Driving by his house to see if he's home is not only a sneaky thing to do, but it makes you look desperate as well. It's not a good image for any girlfriend.
Plus, there shouldn't ever be a reason for you to check up on him when he's not aware. There should always be a level of trust with your man. Otherwise, you should drop him. If he or his family—if he's still living at home—were ever to spot you peeking in from outside, the relationship is instantly on the rocks.
Although your intentions may be sincere in wanting to check up on him, driving by his house isn't the best course of action. Even MadameNoire suggests that this kind of behavior is reserved for "stalkers." You should be better than that. According to MadameNoire though, you can exhibit worrisome stalker-like traits in other ways, too. Scanning his social media feeds (constantly) is just as bad. If you want to banish him out of your life, these behaviors will certainly do the trick.
13 Telling Him How to Spend That Dough
“Money makes the world go round,” is just another way of saying everybody loves money. For guys, it's another thing that they sometimes try to control. It's important that they have sole ownership over their finances. This means they don't like taking money advice from others—even their better halves.
What a guy does or doesn't do with his money is entirely his business. It's only natural that you will want to coach him on how best to use it. That's because we women are very practical and sometimes men aren't smart with their money.
As painful as it is, you need to let him learn from his spending habits. Otherwise, you'll find your guy doesn't mind making the money—and their tears—rain.
According to Kiplinger, men and women think totally different when it comes to finances. Kiplinger goes on to state that women don't like some of the more technical terms that are used when discussing money. But men tend to like using these terms when money is the topic at hand. If you want to speak his language, you're going to have to refer to money using terms you probably wouldn't use naturally. Otherwise, you're better off letting him live and learn from his own money decisions.
12 Rushing Him Into Dating Or Marriage
Women mature faster than men. It's a biological fact. Naturally, you are going to be ready for life's milestones sooner than your man is, in most cases. This can become a problem in any relationship. Whether it's dating, marriage or babies, you're usually going to be ready for the next step before he is.
Most of the time, he's just a step or two behind you. You just need to be patient. Otherwise, if you pressure him too much about rushing into the next step, he could be out of the relationship altogether. While it's only natural to want to take the next step, men aren't always thinking this way. That's why women often lead this aspect. It is—however—important that you're aware of where he's at if you want to keep the love alive.
If you want to be careful not to push him too fast into something he's not ready for, there are signs to look out for. According to Today, if he's buying expensive things, he's probably not saving up for a ring. Plus, how does he talk about other guys who are married? What's his opinion of them? If it isn't favorable, marriage probably isn't on his mind.
11 Listening To Your Friends More Than Him
Friends are important to have around. They can be influential while also providing support. On the other hand, they can also be a nuisance for the guy in your life. If your girlfriends don't like who you're dating, they won't be silent about it. It's in a friend's best interest to be honest. That's where it gets difficult for you—since you're now caught in the middle between your friends and your man. If you listen too much to the advice of your friends though, you could be risking it all. Guys want to feel like they're the primary influencers.
Ultimately a balance between him and your friends is the ideal course, but if you're only listening to friends and it shows—he might just walk out the door and never turn back.
Relationships are challenging since it many times involves two totally different people coming together. Girls are going to lean on their friends differently, for example, than guys do. LovePanky sheds light on this, asserting that women often air out the highs and lows of their relationship with friends or even on social media. Guys, on the other hand, don't usually spill all the details with others in most cases. It could turn a guy off if you lean more on the opinions of others than him.
10 Creating Highly Unrealistic Demands
No one likes being told what to do. This applies to relationships, too—where things are supposed to be equal. This can be hard for some to achieve. Many times, we women will start dating a guy and see all the things that are wrong in his life.
This usually doesn't come out of a mean-spirited place. Really it's just from your desire to improve his life, but it can really rub your guy the wrong way. The moment you start making demands is when he starts tuning you out. While no one likes to be in a cage, and men especially resent this idea. This means you just have to find clever ways to help your man improve without straight up giving him orders.
It's natural for you to have demands in any relationship. There are just some that may be a little too much for your guy to handle. For example, Thought Catalog thinks it's too much to expect him to pay for things. While not all women will agree with this philosophy, it is becoming less assumed that guys are the breadwinners in a relationship. If you demand he pays for everything for you, you might have to look for a new beau.
9 Cleaning Up After Him
A stereotype about men is that they're messy. The truth is, men can be messy and organized. Either way, he probably doesn't like it when you clean up after him. Even if he's tidy, he might have things set up a certain way and he may not want anyone else organizing it. Some guys will drop a girl on the spot just for messing with their things.
It's also frustrating to guys when their partners don't even ask but clean up after them anyway.
This can make your man feel incompetent and like he's being “mommied.”
He wants to be on equal footing, not looked down upon. If you want to help him, you should think twice about cleaning his space and folding his laundry. In the least, you can offer to help and respect whatever answer he gives you.
Many women though don't even want their men to clean up after themselves. As The Huffington Post points out, sometimes when men try to clean up, they do it wrong. That leaves women in a predicament where they'd rather just clean up and do it right the first time themselves. You are free to make up your mind in the end about how you'd like to go about this. You just might turn him off in the process.
8 All He’s Askin’ Is for A Little Respect
They say women need love and men need respect. Whether or not that's really all it comes down to, we definitely agree that men want respect. This really just means he wants to feel important to you. Part of being a man is feeling important and that his decisions have a purpose. Many times, your man isn't going to make the best decisions. The most important aspect—though—is that you stand by him and respect what choices he makes. This can be hard, especially when you don't agree with your man's decisions.
There are always going to be battles and arguments as a result of disagreements, but no matter what the outcome turns out to be it's important that you support him. If you don't, he may not stick around.
The website Family Life explores the benefits of showing a guy respect. One example they point out is that it empowers him to take on challenges in life. He is, after all, the caretaker for both himself and you in life. He should feel capable of taking on those harder tasks for both of you. Respect can play a part in helping him do this. Otherwise, he may not stick with you if he's not feeling respected enough.
7 Deciding Who He Hangs With
Someone smart once said, "You are who you hang out with." Those words couldn't be truer. When a girl like you comes into a guy's life, it's usually for the better. You recognize areas in his life that can be improved. It might be tempting for you to dictate with whom he can spend his time but choosing friends for him can be costly. It might even result in a split.
Deciding who he can hang out with isn't going to make him happy to be in a relationship. Even if he's going around with the wrong crew, you are agreeing to be a part of those relationships, too if you're dating him.
Who a guy hangs out with is one of his untouchable freedoms. If you want to keep the relationship alive, you'll steer clear of picking his friends.
Guys want to be independent individuals, or at least feel like they have the liberty to hang out with whoever they want. Even if his friends aren't the best influence on him, it's ultimately up to him who he spends his free time with. You have to accept the guy you're dating, including his friends you don't approve of. If not, it's just a recipe for disaster.
6 Questioning His Life Goals
Many guys—but not all—go through periods of making bad life decisions. It's part of how they learn. It's common for your man to have dreams or crazy ideas. Since we women can be very practical, it's tempting for us to give our guys a reality check. It's something that affects both of our lives, after all.
As tempting as it can be for you, doing so may jeopardize what you've got going. It's best for you to stay tight-lipped when you have trepidations about his life goals.
Unless it's something really dumb or dangerous, you're to stand by him through the good and the bad. A guy expects unwavering support from his gal. Otherwise, he may not be willing to stick around.
In most relationships (as it should be), it's mainly about you. If he takes more of a back-seat approach in the relationship, he might get lost in the shuffle. Cosmopolitan lists self-centered behavior as one turn off men won't tolerate. If you want to make him feel included, you should try not to make it all about yourself. By showing interest in his life and day-to-day issues, you're more likely to keep him around.
5 Texting Him Too Much When He’s Not Answering
Today, texting is one of the most popular forms of communication. According to the Chicago Tribune, people prefer texting more than calling. It's no surprise that texting is an integral part of relationships. The problem with texting is that it's hard to convey the same emotions as one would over a face-to-face conversation.
What happens when he's not in the mood for texting and you don't know it? If you're not actually with him—or can't hear his voice—you wouldn't pick up on the fact that he doesn't feel like deciphering emoji messages right now. That's where it all goes wrong. Another problem is that texting doesn't have the official start and end points that a regular phone call does. With texting, there's no natural signing off. If you go overboard texting him, you just might get on his nerves.
The truth of the matter is it's easy to get carried away on social media. The Internet is addicting. When it's combined with personal matters like friends and relationships, it's even harder to stop. That's why it's imperative you keep your activity to a minimum. If you're too wrapped up in communicating with him, you not only miss everything going on around you, but you turn him off as well.
4 Acting Embarrassed By Him
How you treat him in public is vital to how the relationship pans out. While it might seem like he has all the power, the truth is that you actually do. It doesn't mean he can't walk away, though. It's important that you recognize this if you want the romance to survive.
Sometimes that means not doing things, as well. For example, if he makes a joke that rubs others the wrong way, you can't totally leave him hanging. Naturally, you'll feel inclined to point out his joke and make him embarrassed in front of others. The truth is that there are other ways to change gears in a conversation without drawing attention to what he said.
Guys are going to say dumb things all of the time. The key for you is not making him feel embarrassed as a result.
We're pretty sure everyone is familiar with feeling embarrassed. But in case we need to shed some light on, Psychology Today points out what kind of fallout can occur from feeling embarrassed. According to Psychology Today, people feel exposed and vulnerable when they're made fun of in front of others. Is that really something anyone wants to go through, let alone a guy?
3 Playing The Flirting Game
Flirting is usually a building block to a romance. It can also be the wrecking ball that ultimately brings it down. If you flirt with other guys while in a relationship with him, he might become jealous. Lots of couples have different takes on flirting outside the relationship. Many think it's harmless, while others think it can lead to breakups. Most of the time though, he's not going to like it when you are flirting. Your guy might get jealous really easily.
He might find he doesn't want to stick around if you need to go outside of the relationship for advances.
Girls are cautioned from flirting it they want their romance to last. He wants to feel affirmed and flirting with others won't help.
Flirting can even be a problem among two people who are interested in each other. In the early stages of a relationship, a classic flirting tactic is ignoring your crush. But according to Seventeen, it's best not to rely on this method forever. Otherwise, that person will really feel ignored and that it's not playful in any way. If you're interested in him and there's some flirtation going on, you should find a way to mix it up.
2 Lacking Care In His Interests
Relationships are about sharing in each other's experiences and interests. A good guy is going to partake in what you want to do most of the time. It's how you know that he loves you. While it'll never be perfectly balanced, you should do the same for him. Not only should you eat at his favorite restaurants or watch movies he likes, but you should actually show an interest.
Part of being in a relationship is doing things you don't want to do. Hopefully though—by caring about another person—it becomes natural to adopt their likes and dislikes. For your guy, it's important that their hobbies be of interest to you. If he senses that you're not taking interest in what he likes, he'll start to question whether you even care about him in the first place.
Seventeen has some sage advice about how you can show interest, even if you're not really that interested in what he has to say. Showing him your interest can be as easy as nodding your head on occasion. As per Seventeen, saying affirmations like "yes" and "mmm-hmms" can show you're listening. If he doesn't pick up on some of these cues, he might think you don't really care.
1 Clinging To Him
Some clichés are actually true. Women are stereotyped as having clingy behavior. While this doesn't apply to all of us, some really do match the stereotype—which isn’t a bad thing. It's only natural for you to want to feel close to your guy.
Whether it's public displays of affection or constant communication, a guy likes a break every once in a while. It's nothing personal. You just need to respect his boundaries if he's not a fan of clingy behavior.
The truth is, most guys do like when you are clingy. They just prefer not to show it in public. That's why they tend to steer clear of showing little to no public displays of affection.
Over time, your guy will become more comfortable showing physical intimacy. Otherwise, if you are too impatient to reach that point, and decide to be clingy anyway, it could actually push him away. You may even realize you don't like when men are clingy. Of course, you usually won't discover this until you finally get what you want. Therefore, it's best to keep any clingy behavior far and away from the relationship. That goes for him and you.