Girls are awesome and as thick as thieves (Like, how much do we love our squads, am I right?), but there are some times when we can't stand one another or have to stare with mouths agape because of something someone says! Don't get me wrong, there is plenty of love to go around amongst girls, and not all of us are overtly "sensitive" or anything like that. There's just this unspoken girl code to follow, a list of things deemed inconsiderate and untactful, so that bringing up this or talking about that is completely out of the question.
If you don't want the eyes to roll, backs to be stabbed, claws to come out, whispered confessions of "I can't stand her" behind your back, or just the loss of respect from some dear friends (who will still love you anyway), then you should probably keep in mind some phrases that are taboo to say around other women for sure. Some of them are ridiculous (of course) and some of them actually make sense (ah-ha!).
Either way, women can't stand hearing these fifteen things, so if you want to take notes, scroll and scribble away! And, as always, think before you speak!
15 "I don't gain weight no matter how much I eat."
This is pretty much every girl's dream, so when I hear someone else say that, it definitely shoots an arrow through my heart, especially while I'm holding up a burger dripping with melted cheddar cheese and eyeing the loaded french fries while simultaneously hating myself (just...not enough to stop eating). Food is life and, as a self-proclaimed glutton, I definitely sort of hate a girl for the first second when I hear that she never gains weight because of her magical metabolism. That's just my first instinct. However, once that first second passes, I do feel sympathetic because other girls, myself included, are quick to go, "Ugh, you're so lucky, I hate you," in a joking (but actually dead serious) way, but it's actually hard for those slim girls because many of them want to gain weight or muscle, but they can't. At least girls with average metabolisms can monitor and shape their bodies. Still, this might not be the wisest thing to say around other girls complaining about their weight! Especially when they be hangry. And, let's admit, there are those girls who say this when it's not true (cue eye rolls).
14 "I'm so fat."
And then, of course, you have those girls who are in no way fat, but they're either convinced that they are for some reason or fishing for reassurances that they aren't (which they already know). This is especially the worst thing to say around young girls who could always use more positive body images or women who actually are bigger than you. Nuh-uh, just don't go there, girl! Even if you truly believe this, just strut your stuff like Beyonce, knowing you're just curvy. It's all about how you wear your confidence! There's nothing less attractive than insecurity--and this includes being "fat." So when you go get some delicious, cheese-filled omelette for brunch with the girls, don't make them put the forks down as they gear up to shower you with, "No, you're not fat!" because ya suddenly be bringing up weight at the table.
13 "Omg, you're so skinny..."
This is one of those things that is not really a compliment and not really an insult. It's just an observation thrown out there like it's supposed to mean something. The person being told this can't really gasp in shock or act all flattered, so all she can do is utter, "Um, thank you?" And follow up in her head with, "No, I don't have an eating disorder. Yes, I do eat. Yes, I'm perfectly healthy," because there are those implications behind the pointed "Omg, wow, you're really thin." It's not really that much different from going, "Oh, wow, you're really fat." No need to point out weight! It's just an awkward thing to say because the purpose behind it is so ambiguous, so just think it to yourself and move along! Nothing to see here, people.
12 "I don't think Ryan Gosling's that great."
Now for this one, I have to meekly raise my hand. Hey, he seems like an awesome guy and all (super great husband and father, very talented and dedicated to his work), but I do not understand why all the ladies are just head over heels over this guy. What's with all the hype? Is it because of The Notebook? Well, I don't like that movie, either, but I dare not say either of those around other girls because you can't just not like Ryan Gosling or The Notebook! You say, "I don't like Ryan Gosling," then there will be a long gasp followed by a longer pause, so just nod along when he comes up and be like, "Oh yeah, La La Land seems good. It is? Ha, great. Maybe I'll watch it," and they'll never know if you don't.
11 "Did you get something done?"
This is equivalent to saying, "You look prettier, and that just can't be, so you must have done something to enhance your looks." It's sort of a backhanded compliment. How does a girl respond to this? With, "Oh no, but thank you for thinking I look good enough to have gotten surgery"? Probably a good thing to say would just be a simple "Hey, you look good today!" and then end it, or ask if they did something new to their hair or something. There are magical things like just taking care of yourself, becoming happier, and even makeup. Just the topic of plastic surgery is still pretty taboo and touchy, so even if it does look like something was done, there's no need to bring it up unless the other person talks about it first.
10 "Is that all you're going to eat?"
"Nah, I'm waiting on a burger, but thought I'd eat this huge bowl of chicken salad first." There's no need to shame somebody for not having a big appetite, and there's never a good reason to judge somebody for that--especially when it comes, yet again, to the touchy subject of weight. Some people honestly have small stomachs, or, who knows, they might have eaten a bit before and still are somewhat full. It's just an unnecessary comment that will have other girls go, "Yes... so? Do I have to explain myself to you? Because I don't think I do," and they're totally right. Well, unless you're genuinely concerned because your friend's been moping around after a breakup and not eating properly, then, okay, you should probably ask. Otherwise, no! You might get burned with a "Well, you eat enough for the two of us."
9 "Are you going to get married/have children soon?"
This isn't saying that this can't be a legit question, but that doesn't make it any less annoying. Especially because as women get older, they're ambushed with these questions more and more often, like they're the most important things in their lives right now: marriage and children. Do men get asked these two questions as much as women? Probably not. Maybe from relatives. If women want to talk about it, they'll bring it up first, especially when it comes to children. There's no need to know their plans; it'll all be out in the open once the woman gets pregnant. When it comes to marriage, no one really knows how soon it'll be unless they're engaged and planning the wedding at that moment. That's why many women don't particularly like these questions; how do you really answer them?
8 "I don't want to get married/have children."
Oh, this is one answer! And then, when the response is indeed that there is no desire to wed and/or have children... Boy oh boy, this really freaks out other women, especially if those women are already married and/or have children. Then they feel like they have the experience to lord over you, a la "Oh, you don't now what you're missing out on," "I don't know what I'd do without my spouse," "Children are the most beautiful things in the world," "Don't you want your own family?" and, "Life's not complete without children!" There's always a sort of sympathetic and condescending response to this that makes women dread having to bring up the fact that they don't want to go down the typical life path of starting their own families. The shocked response from other women suggests that they're strange for not wanting to be wives or mothers.
7 "You shouldn't wait too long to have babies."
Well, why the heck not? Okay, biology-wise, it's well known why it's better for women to have babies earlier, but these days, with women more and more involved in their careers, it's become more common for women to postpone motherhood. There are also financial reasons as children are costly. This isn't something that women particularly want to hear like they're some sort of baby-making factories with a deadline, especially because it's frustrating and stressful to plan these kinds of things when their plates are already full with other things. And if women say they've frozen their eggs so they'll be fine, there's still judgment from other women. Do not even bring up the biological clock! The topic of babies can be pretty taboo for women because it's sensitive and personal, not something that women want to keep hearing or feeling pressured about from other women when it isn't their business.
6 "You should break up with him/her."
Interestingly, you'd think this would be a good, supportive thing to say to a friend. However, this is a bit of a strange one because no one actually wants to hear that they should break up with a man or woman they've chosen for themselves. Is it a matter of pride? What I've found is that a friend can complain to me over and over about her significant other, but then once I assert that he or she's not the one and should be dumped, the friend immediately becomes uncertain and defensive. This is just something that women don't want to hear from their friends. It's a personal matter, and maybe no one likes being told that his or her judgment about somebody is off, especially when there's so much emotional investment in the relationship. It's definitely a touchy topic, and giving your two cents about it rarely works!
5 "Yoga is the worst."
Other women go, "Whaaat?" Women love yoga. Well, obviously not all women, but many women and plenty of men, too, so when someone (namely me) says that yoga is not great, this causes a ripple of shock. They insist that yoga is wonderful and should be given another chance, but I ain't having it. I am just not. It does seem to be a great form of exercise and all that, but it isn't for everybody. People prefer different things, but considering how it is super popular with women in particular, the popular opinion is that yoga is ah-maz-ing and should be done by everybody. Hence, when the unpopular opinion of "yoga sucks" comes up, well, let's just say women need another round of yoga to calm themselves after such a shocking revelation.
4 "I woke up like this."
No, no you did not. I don't care what Beyonce says, no one really just wakes up that fabulous. Upon hearing these shocking words, there are two ways women react: 1) they either bristle with envy and get irked at someone's insistence of natural perfection when they themselves woke up like they were ready to go on set of The Walking Dead, or 2) they roll their eyes and go, "Bish please," annoyed that someone's even trying to play it off like no effort was put into how gorgeous they look when they undoubtedly spent hours on hair and makeup. Besides, what is even bad about putting in the effort to look good? It just shows you love you and want to look your best. There's no need to try to come off like a natural-born diva who wakes up from hours of sleep with perfect hair and eyebrows. And if you did wake up lookin' cute, no need to really shove it into the faces of others who woke up like monsters and have yet to drink their coffee (which makes them dangerous, fyi).
3 "Stop being such a drama queen."
Whoa, whoa, whoa, this is the equivalent of anyone saying, "Calm down," to somebody--especially when that person is actually very calm already. Nobody likes to hear those two words, and no woman wants to hear these six. Saying this to another girl will warrant a barrage of rants, especially if she considers the problem at hand something genuinely serious or upsetting. Of course, the person could be a drama queen, but hey, even the actual drama queen isn't gonna want to hear that she's a drama queen. It's one of those things where a person might be like, "Hey! I can say it, not you." You might want to just shut down the situation with this statement, but you're likely going to prolong the episode, so it is not worth it! In fact, you might redirect the attack onto yourself. Oops...
2 "I'm not a dessert person."
Once again, I have to meekly raise my hand because I am not a dessert person. I am more for savory and salty. I will hands down pick a good steak over an amazing cheesecake--that's just me! But even 'New Girl' covered this in an episode when the girly Jess had to deal with a roommate's tomboyish girlfriend who denied Jess's homemade cupcakes with a shocking "I'm not much of a dessert person." It's definitely something that women would proudly put on a banner: "I love desserts!" They'll giggle together at a restaurant and go, "There's always room for dessert!" or devour the dessert menu with their eyes before even deciding what they want for dinner. Something seems to be off about the girl who is not a dessert person (gulp). There isn't always room for dessert for me. When I say this, I get a big, "Whaaaat?!" and then feel guilty that I don't have much of a sweet tooth. Sorry not sorry? Now hand me those hot Cheetos!
1 "I want to marry rich and be a housewife."
Say what?! This could warrant a ton of name-calling, like "gold digger," and criticism, like "a threat to feminism." Sure, it's something that anyone can say, myself included, when feeling thoroughly depressed about life and prospects, but more in a joking way. There are some people who say it when they're dead serious and everyone knows it, evoking the wrath and judgment of other women! In this day and age, a woman could simply say she wants to be a housewife and other women might judge her, like "Do something with your life," but being a housewife can actually be admirable and challenging. Marrying rich to just laze about, spending your spouse's money and not doing anything else of importance or assistance? Not cool with other women. It's like taking points that women worked hard to gain over the years, and this could definitely earn some hate.