The days leading up to a first-time sleep over with your new love interest are just as nerve-racking as the days following your night together. You may think everything went well, but there’s really no way of knowing what’s going on inside your guy’s mind. You may have unknowingly committed one of the most common morning after sins that really put a dent in your relationship. Knowing what to say and how to act after your first night together can ensure that not only are you invited over again, but your relationship continues down the right path.
If you want to keep your guy interested in you, and make him look forward to your next night together, there are a list of things you definitely shouldn’t do after the sun rises. Blowing up his phone as soon as you leave and bad mouthing the experience to your bestie are all ways to get yourself banished from his house forever. But if you play it cool, stay respectful, and keep things light and fun, your first night together will turn into many more.
Keep reading to see our list of 15 things you should never do after your first night together.
15 Stop Seeing Other Guys
If the two of you are not yet exclusive, you may think his invitation for you to spend the night means he’s ready to take your relationship to the next level. While it may be true that he is starting to see a future with you, until he explicitly tells you that he’s ready for a relationship, you need to continue to keep your options open. Don’t get so caught up in your one night together that you immediately cut off all your other prospects. If you keep other men in your dating rotation, its less likely that you’ll overthink and overanalyze your first night together.
Overthinking can lead to a bunch of problems, and it can really drive a wedge between the two of you. If you discovered something about him during your sleepover that you’re not sure you want to deal with, dating other men will allow you to look at things differently and weigh your options more objectively.
But what if he sees me out with another guy? Don’t you worry your pretty little head about that. If he wanted you all to himself he would ask you to be exclusive, right? So keep dating others in the meantime!
14 Thank Him Over and Over Again
After your night is over, it’s very polite to thank him for his hospitality and for inviting you into his home. This shows that you have class and you’re appreciative of everything he did to make your night together as comfortable and relaxing as possible. But thanking him over and over again will definitely rub him the wrong way.
When it comes to showing appreciation, a simple, “Thanks for last night. I had so much fun” is all he really needs to hear. Anything other than that is essentially overkill. Following up with a text message later the next day is also acceptable, but just remember, less is always more in this situation. Your guy will probably take some time to process all of the events that occurred the night before, and unfortunately, your excessive amount of praise could cause him to take an even further step back from you in the days following your sleepover.
13 Ask When You Can Return
Want to find out the quickest way to never be invited back to his house ever again? If you’re heading out the door following your first night together, and you stop in your tracks and ask him, “So, when can we do this again?” You’re definitely going to freak him out!
Just remember this: guys need time to process things. When it comes to dating and relationships, they rarely jump into things head first. After you’re gone, it may take him a few days or up to a week to decide if having you sleep over is something that he wants to continue doing. If the two of you are not exclusive, he knows that inviting you over the very next weekend will lead you to believe that he’s ready to get serious with you. So he will pump the brakes in order to analyze and filter through his feelings.
Asking him when you can see him again will only put more pressure on him. And you know what happens when you apply pressure to something, right? It’s not a pretty sight!
12 Bad Mouth the Experience
Not all first-time sleepovers are the beginning of a happily ever after. Sometimes, the experience can be absolutely horrible. Perhaps his house was a total stinky and smelly mess. Maybe he didn’t have any food in his fridge and he didn’t even offer to order Chinese from the nearest restaurant, or perhaps you were left disappointed with the lack of chemistry the two of you had in the bedroom. Regardless of how things went wrong, bad mouthing your night together is a definite no-no.
Unless he was a complete jerk the entire night, it’s best to keep your feelings about his living conditions to yourself. He may be going through a rough time in his life, or maybe he’s just a naturally messy person. If word gets back to him that you’re making fun of his home and his behavior, not only will he feel hurt, but that will be the last time you ever step foot in his junky abode ever again.
11 Spill All the Details
When it comes to your first sleepover, the details should remain between you and him. You wouldn’t believe how many woman run off and blab to anyone who will listen about everything that happened the night before. Not only is it a bit rude and disrespectful to share the juicy details about what goes on between two adults, but it could also put a bad taste in his mouth if he ever finds out that you’ve been blabbing about him all over town. To him, maybe your night together wasn’t that much of a big deal. So if he finds out you’ve been gushing about the evening the two of you spent together, he may freak out and believe you’re way more into him than he’s into you.
It’s normal to want to spill the deets of an amazing night with your bestie, but when it comes to going on and on about the intimate details, treat the information like a sacred and prized possession that doesn’t need to be shared with the world.
10 Overstay Your Welcome
Planning your escape route the day after can bring upon a whole new level of stress. You don’t want to leave too soon, and you definitely don’t want to leave too late. Sneaking out in the middle of the night while he’s still asleep will lead him to believe that you consider him a booty call, but staying into the late afternoon the next day can really turn him off.
So what’s a girl to do? You really have to play it by ear, but always keep in mind that you should never overstay your welcome. As a rule of thumb, it’s always best to leave after the two of you have had breakfast or at least a cup of coffee. Keep your conversation short and light just in case he isn’t a morning person. Enjoy your croissant, and then tell him you have to get going. If you give the impression that you have a full day ahead of you, he’ll probably be even more attracted to you!
Men want to be with women who have happy and full lives away from the relationship. So hanging around and overstaying your welcome will give him the impression that you have no life, and that’s definitely not sexy!
9 Brag on Social Media
Social media will be the death of your budding relationship if you use the platforms to give your 450 followers all the juicy details about your night together. When it comes to dating and relationships, most women are more willing to share those moments online, while most men rather keep things private. It doesn’t mean that he’s ashamed of you or he’s keeping you his dirty little secret. It just means he’s practicing discretion, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.
Oversharing about your night on social media has the ability to really turn your guy off. Especially if he’s a private person, he may feel that you betrayed his trust by posting a status update on Facebook every hour on the hour. If you’re not sure about what you should and shouldn’t post to social media, just consider all things about your night together as off limits. Not everything you do in life needs to be shared online.
8 Discuss It in Detail
When your first night together comes to an end, it’s natural to want to relive the experience with your boo. You may feel compelled to reach out to him just a few hours after leaving to go over some of the events of the night. Maybe the two of you shared a bonding experience together, are maybe something really funny happened that you want to tease him about. The point is, now is really not the time to discuss every little detail with him. Remember, he’s still processing things on his own, and by you bringing up something, whether it be good or bad, it could really turn him off and make him have second thoughts about the two of you.
Just remember that everyone has their own experience. And something that you may have thought was hilarious may not have been that funny to him. By refraining from discussing everything that happened the night before, it may help to smooth things over if you indeed did something to tick him off.
7 Post Pictures Online
We’ve already mentioned how detrimental it can be to brag about your first night together on social media. But there’s one topic we haven’t discussed yet: online pictures.
During your first night together, he probably doesn’t expect you to turn your phone off and give him your undivided attention for the next 12 hours or so, but he also doesn’t expect you to post intimate photos of the two of you online. Giving a tour of his pad on Snapchat is definitely a no-no, and uploading a postcoital photo to Instagram is definitely tacky.
If you can’t live without posting something about the night on social media, make it a selfie of yourself, but make sure the picture isn’t taken inside of his home. If he’s a super private person, he’s not going to want people to get a glimpse inside his pad. So avoid taking pictures and videos of his domain without his permission.
6 Tell Him His Weird Sleeping Habits
Chances are, he’s just as nervous about your first night together as you are. He has probably stressed himself out with hopes of the two of you having a good time and everything going off without a hitch. If he really likes you, he will want to impress you when he’s awake and when he’s asleep. So poking fun at him about his weird or hilarious sleeping habits can really do some damage to his self-esteem.
If he snores really loud or farts in his sleep, it’s best for you to keep these things to yourself. And besides, you don’t really know how bad of a sleep buddy you are in return, so making fun of him can push him to throw your sleeping habits right back in your face.
Sleeping with someone for the first time is a big deal, and of course you want the night to go perfectly. But if you couldn’t get an hour of shut eye because your guy was talking in his sleep the entire night, you can take some time to reevaluate if this relationship will really work out in the long run.
5 Trash His House
If you want to make sure that you get invited back to his place time and time again, treat his home the way you would want him to treat yours. This means, don’t leave behind a mess when you leave. Even if his place isn’t the cleanest home you’ve ever seen, he’s used to his mess, but he’s not used to yours! Try your best to clean up any stray hairs, offer to help him make the bed, and make sure you don’t leave any sticky toothpaste residue behind in his bathroom sink.
If you treat his home with respect, he will be more likely to invite you over for slumber party #2. A guy wants a girl who can blend in seamlessly with his life. When you leave, there shouldn’t be anything out of place. It should almost look like you were never even there. The chances of him missing you and wanting you to spend the night once again will be high.
4 Return the Favor
Now that your first night together is out of the way, we already know that you’re ready to go full steam ahead with this new guy. But not so fast, sister. Just because he invited you to sleep over, it doesn’t mean he’s ready for your relationship to go to the next level. If the two of you are dating, spending the night together is a natural next step, but it doesn’t ensure that he wants to spend forever with you. And if the two of you are not exclusive, your first night together doesn’t mean he wants you to be his girlfriend. If you can keep these things in mind, you’ll be better off in the long run.
Since you can never be too sure about his true feelings, it’s best not to get too excited about the two of you spending more time together in the near future. And the absolute worst thing you can do is to return the favor by inviting him to spend the night at your house the following weekend. It’s best to let him take the lead in this situation, and allow him to invite you over for a second night of fun before you suggest the two of you take the slumber party to your place.
3 Blow Up His Phone
Your first night together was a success, and you can really see a future with this guy. In fact, you’ve already planned your wedding on your secret Pinterest board (but don’t tell him that, of course). Spending the night together probably gave you the major feels, and you may feel like the two of you are closer than ever. Maybe you shared some intimate details about your childhood before dozing off to sleep, or the two of you shared a romantic dinner out on his balcony and he shared his true feelings for you. No matter what went down the night before, keep your feelings internalized, and keep the craziness at bay.
When women get excited about a guy, we tend to go nuts by blowing up his phone and texting him constantly. If you really want him to invite you over again, you need to put your mobile phone down and slowly back away from it. Try not to contact him unless he reaches out to you first, and when he does call you, keep your conversations short and brief. If he gets the impression that you’re not considering your night together as such a big deal, it will take the pressure off of him. He’ll be drawn to your nonchalant and easygoing attitude, and don’t be surprised if he invites you to spend the night again the very next weekend.
2 Leave Behind a Breadcrumb
In the dating world, a breadcrumb is a memento that’s left behind at a guy’s house on purpose. You may think you’re being slick by leaving your pink hair tie on his nightstand, and you probably think you pulled a fast one on him by leaving your earrings on his coffee table, but he can see right through you. Accidentally leaving something behind after your first night is perfectly fine, but if you’re intentionally leaving behind breadcrumbs, you’re doing yourself more harm than good.
Lets face it, women leave behind breadcrumbs when they’re feeling threatened or insecure. Just in case there’s another woman in his house, you want to make sure that she sees that you have marked your territory, right? You think this will scare off all of his female friends and other dates, but it will only make him annoyed by you.
Breadcrumbs are a childish and immature way to stake claim to something. But the truth is, you don’t own him nor his home. Leaving behind a small treasure that can easily found by another woman will make you look desperate. And you already know, desperation is definitely unattractive when it comes to dating!
The night is over, and the two of you had so much fun. He cooked you dinner, and it was absolutely amazing! He cuddled with you on the couch the entire night, and he rocked your world right before the two of you dozed off to sleep. The morning after, you may be feeling absolutely giddy inside, and you’re ready for him to profess his love for you. Sorry, but that’s probably not going to happen at this point. It was barely your first night together, and he may need some time to figure out if being with you is truly what he wants.
Women are too quick to want to DTR (define the relationship) immediately after the first night together. Guys are already aware that this is on your mind, so bringing it up will only prove to him that you’re just as predictable as the rest. Instead of trying to lock him down and figure out where the two of you stand after your night together, play it cool and remain unbothered. He will wonder why you’re able to act as cool as a cucumber, and it will actually attract him to you even more!