You see it happen with gusto in almost every Disney film, cartoon, fairytale: two characters falling in love faster than the speed of light. One minute they’re just going on with their day-to-day cartoon routines of being stuck up in a tower or having little woodland creatures assist them with household chores, the next minute they’re head over heels in love with some prince. You have to wonder to yourself, is there any truth behind that? Well, there is no sort of magic potion that exists in the world, but there are a few key things you can do that will render his heart helpless in no time flat – and you’d be surprised how even the littlest thing can mean the world to him. Here are 15 sure-fire ways to get him to fall for you (and very quickly too).
15 Listen, Listen, Listen
This goes true for both women AND men. Listening is the key to any to grabbing anyone’s attention at a lightning pace. He wants to know that you’re actually processing what he’s trying to get across. You will start to see him shift in his opinion of you the longer you listen – which can result in him opening up more about himself, his thoughts, and his dreams. It’s not just enough that you LOOK like you’re listening (yeah, yeah, I know, I do the same thing too where I look like I’m listening but I’m just imagining what I’m going to have for dinner later on), but you need to actively take in everything he says and chime in at the right spots. Men, like women, like to know that they’re being heard and have a voice, and listening achieves that on so very many levels.
14 Eye Contact
Here is a BIG one. Eye contact is always important in any sort of interaction you have, whether it’s meeting a new boss or helping to console a friend in need. But it’s MASSIVELY IMPORTANT when you’re with someone you have feelings for. Maintaining eye contact is one of the most powerful things a woman can do in order to have a man reciprocate feelings for her since it’s a thing couples in love do every day. Cosmopolitan magazine interviewed a doctor named Pam Spurr on this very subject and discovered that couples spend 75 percent of their time simply looking at one another. “The last time they stared into someone’s eyes for long periods of time, they were in love,” Dr. Spurr said. “So in theory, that could trigger their brain to recall feelings of love again.”
13 Disappear for A Little Bit
We’ve all heard the quote “absence makes the heart grow fonder” and just naturally assumed this was made up by some dude attempting to shake an obnoxious chick. But there is actually a lot of truth in this, especially when falling in love. If you find a guy you’re deeply attracted to, you want to spend a great deal of time with them and while you should do this in the beginning, switch up the game a little by disappearing for a while afterward. By the time you pull a disappearing act, they will have gotten so used to you being around that they’ll start to wonder where you are, which leads them to think about you more. You’re giving them time to actually miss you and your presence around them that they’ll start coveting you more in the wake of your absence.
12 Ask For Help
I know, I know – strong, independent women don’t like to play this card at all. We want to believe we can do everything ourselves and don’t need that whole “white knight in shining armor” person to come rescue us when we’re perfectly capable of rescuing ourselves. I can pull myself out of ditches perfectly fine and a majority of women feel the same way, so when I say “ask for help” I’m talking about small things. When you ask him for help with a mundane task, it makes him feel important and needed. Maybe you’re just feeling under the weather and simply ask him to bring you some soup and keep you company. Even doing small things for you makes a man feel valued and he’ll start looking at you differently.
11 Confidence Is Key
There is absolutely nothing more attractive than a strong woman who has an abundance of self-confidence. The trick here is actually knowing yourself first before letting someone else into your life, and that can be tricky if you’ve never really been in a relationship. Some women these days relationship hop like it’s nothing, only to find out later in life that they truly don’t know themselves as well as they thought they did. Men are drawn to confident women like a moth to a flame because confidence is highly desired. It means while you don’t “need” a man to feel complete, you enjoy having them around. Showing off your confidence puts a very flattering light on you, but make sure you don’t cross that line into narcissism.
10 Laugh a Lot
I know when it comes to my personal preferences, laughter is the way to my heart. Every serious relationship I’ve been in started when a man made me laugh so hard that I plain forgot where I even was. I can even pinpoint the joke (and the second) that my feelings shifted for a man and crossed over into love territory. These men often told me that they too fell in love with me because I made them feel hilarious (they genuinely were, though) and constantly laughed at every sarcastic quip they made. Nothing keeps you feeling young like laughter and that goes vice-versa for men as well. It helps to have the same sense of humor because you’re able to keep each other constantly on your toes. Laughter seriously is the best medicine.
9 Be A Friend First
I have literally never had a long-term relationship that didn’t start as a friendship first. Whether it was me casting someone to the friend zone or him doing it to me, love was always the end result for both of us. There is absolutely no shame in being cast to that mythical “danger” zone because it means you get to know a person a much more intimate level. Friendship takes trust and honesty and is essential in ANY relationship. If you want him to fall in love with you, show him that you can be a supportive buddy first above all. Once he sees that, his opinion will start to shift to a more romantic level. Friends are able to joke around while maintaining a balance of sensitivity. I know it’s hard for some people to hear “let’s just be friends”, but remember that how some of the most romantic stories in history have started.
Ah yes, the cornerstone of any relationship or friendship. And I’m not talking about “fake” honesty either – like when you ask a guy “do I look fat in this dress?” and he shakes his head rapidly. I’m talking about honest-to-god, down-and-dirty honesty, where you’re truthful. A man knows when you say something that you think he wants to hear in order to be agreeable. And it’s a very bad look if you’re caught in the act, so it’s always best to be truthful, even about the harsh stuff. And if you ARE truthful about something harsh, back it up with something sweet. You’re establishing a line of trust with him, which is essential in the future if you want him to picture you as more than a friend.
7 Be Yourself
“Be yourself… unless yourself sucks, in which you should be someone else completely.” I remember dropping this comedic line to a friend of mine once (I can’t remember what comedy I saw it on, so forgive me for that) as she was getting ready to go out on a date, and while she laughed at my obvious joke, she actually followed the first part of the line. Men can sense a charlatan from a million miles away if they’re paying attention. No one, and I repeat, NO ONE likes a fake individual or someone who tries too hard to fit a particular mold, especially if you think that a man prefers THAT specific mold. Just be yourself and if he doesn’t like you for you, you don’t want him to fall in love with you.
6 Accept Him For Him
When I meet someone new, I like to assess everything about them, but not in a negative light. They like to hear that all their little quirks and imperfections that make them stand out above all other men in the game are there to stay. Imperfections are what make a person unique, so it can be downright depressing when a person steps in and attempts to change them. Sure, this is a case for women, but men can’t stand this either. He wants to know that you accept him for him and won’t try to change him later down the line when you two are in a relationship. Make it a point to actually SAY this and comment on how fascinated you are by his quirks and actually mean it (none of that backhanded comment thing). He’ll be head over heels in no time.
5 Form An Intellectual Bond
An intellectual bond is a first and foremost when it comes to me, and I know it’s the same for plenty of men out there as well. A connection of the minds can be way more intimate than the connection of bodies with some people. Smart is the new sexy these days, and if your crush is a brainy individual, if you find a way to connect with him on his level, he won’t know what hit him. This can be as easy as reading some of his favorite books and engaging him in a discussion on them, or as difficult as luring him into a political debate (watch out for those, though). If you do this, he’ll become more and more curious about your mind and your thoughts and seek you out in order to get your opinion on intellectual matters that interest him.
4 Casually Touch Him
Nothing, and I repeat NOTHING is more powerful than a simple touch. And no, I’m not talking about full-on groping or any of that nonsense. I’m talking about a simple graze of the hand, or simply touching his shoulder momentarily. When two people are attracted to each other, nothing sends a shiver down the spine than a casual, soft touch. The smallest graze can start a forest fire of emotions that can entangle you all at once. If you’re trying to get him to fall in love with you fast, the little graze can go miles. But don’t pour it on – leave them wanting more. You can laugh at one of his jokes and casually touch his shoulder (which pretty much knocks out two items on this list) and then change the subject to keep him on his toes. It will leave his head spinning for a second before he recovers.
3 Don’t Be Agreeable
There is nothing worse than a fake, agreeable person. It’s basically sucking up to someone in order to get what you want, and most men can see through that facade in two seconds flat (if he’s clever enough). Save your agreeable attitude for your job and your boss. Real men like for women to have opinions of their own and women who have the courage to speak up about them. It’s one thing if you’re agreeing with him about how enjoyable a movie you two just watched together, it’s another thing completely to agree with him on his politics, ESPECIALLY if you’re at the opposite end of his political spectrum. He will find this out and find it out quick. Being agreeable isn’t desirable because it’s not challenging. Heck, even PLAYING devil’s advocate is better than being an agreeable puppet.
2 Be Nice (Seriously)
Kindness goes a long way, I’ll tell you. Sure, I like joking around with my friends and in my writing about being mean, but in all honesty, that’s not really how I am. Men like women with kind hearts who know exactly how to read a room and her company in two seconds flat. She knows who she can be sarcastic with and who just needs a hug and a kind word or two. A girl who has a sweet heart and is hardly rude to those around her. Good men notice little things like when she’s kind to people at a restaurant or her patience when it comes to rude individuals. And I’m not talking about being “fake” kind either. You can sense that stuff from outer space and if you attempt that, that dude will dash away in the opposite direction.
1 Be Aloof
This last one can be a little tricky. It’s along the same line as “playing it cool” when you have a crush on someone. When you like someone, you can get all awkward and strange around them – it’s like you suddenly don’t know how to stand properly or even breathe normally. If you have a crush on someone and you’re one of these people, trust us, your crush knows you like them. And while some men find this enduring (and if he does, husband that dude up), others take more notice when you’re aloof about your feelings. It’s not that you’re acting like you don’t care for them, but you’re acting oblivious to your own feelings. This sparks a guy’s curiosity – especially if he’s the type that has women coming onto him all the time. You’ll stand out in your originality.