Nobody ever said that dating was easy. Of course, it’s hard trying to find someone who checks all of the right boxes and meets all of your expectations. Whether you’re casually playing the field or strictly playing for keeps, it’s important to know what kind of qualities you look for in a partner and what kind of things constitute as deal-breakers. While we know that dating can be daunting at times, we also know better than to settle for less than we deserve. It’s often said that when the right guy comes along you will just instantly know. But sometimes, the answer isn’t quite that clear. There are times when we’ve been guilty of pushing red flags under the rug because we so desperately want things to work out. If you have trouble trying to figure out whether or not he’s “the one”, just remember that there are certain things that the right guy will never do. If he does any of the following things, there’s a chance he’s probably not your Mr. Right.
15 Make You Compete For His Attention
They say that love is a battlefield, but no man worthy of your time would ever put you in a position where you have to compete with other women in order to “win” his attention. What makes him special enough to think that you should jump through rings of fire in order for him to notice you? If he puts you in this category, he’s not serious about getting serious. He is keeping his options open and isn’t the kind to settle down anytime soon. If he was the right one, he wouldn’t make you his second or even third choice, you would be his main priority. The right guy would never compare you to anyone else and would provide you with the adoration you need – and deserve.
14 Make You Feel Insecure About Your Looks
"Did you gain some weight recently?" "Why don't you get a boob job?" "Why can't you look more like her?" These are all things that no guy should ever have the nerve to say to you. The real reason he tries to diminish your self-esteem is because he is the one who’s insecure. You are perfect just the way you are. If you are dating someone who constantly critiques your appearance and points out your physical imperfections, he’s definitely not the guy for you. When the right guy does come along, he will appreciate every inch of you. He will make you feel like the most beautiful girl he has ever seen. Nobody is perfect, but he will make it known that you are perfect to him.
13 Make You Question His Commitment
Relationships take effort from both people, not just one. If he’s shown that he veers off course from your relationship, that definitely proves that he just isn't as committed as you are. When important conversations fall by the wayside and his involvement and participation become lackluster, you might start to wonder how dedicated he actually is to making things work. If you feel he's no longer interested in you at all, remember that the right guy won’t make you wonder about where he stands. You will never have any second thoughts about whether or not he wants to be with you because he isn’t afraid to show how much he cares.
12 Make You Feel Like You Aren’t Good Enough
Mr. Right will be aware of your worth and will never take you for granted. The wrong guy is the guy who tries to change you and makes you feel that you’ll never quite measure up. You shouldn’t feel inferior around your partner -- you should feel confident and totally secure. The right guy will lift you up while the wrong guy will only bring you down. Feelings of inadequacy are not characteristics that a man should bring out in you. Some guys are never satisfied with anything and will go to great lengths in their quest to find “perfection”. He wouldn’t be able to see a good thing even if it was right in front of him, but don't worry, somebody else will. He’s the one missing out here, not you.
11 Make You Choose Him Over Your Friends & Family
If your significant other puts you in a position where you have to decide between them and the people that have been with you since the beginning, that's a super tough pill to swallow. It's pretty daunting and will make you question who has your best interest at heart. A good man will never make you choose sides between people that you care about. The right guy will understand that there are other important people in your life besides him and will never force you to draw a line in the sand. If he tries to separate you from your friends, family, and those who have been your reliable allies over the years, he is up to no good. Show him exactly where your allegiance lies by giving him the old heave-ho.
10 Be Jealous Of Your Success
Traditionally, men are totally used to being the breadwinners in a relationship, but that’s not always how things work out. Maybe you’re the one with a higher paying job, more opportunities to advance in your career, or you're just better with managing finances. While he may be happy for you somewhere deep down, he has a difficult time showing it. If he resents you for your accomplishments, his bruised ego is to blame. He can’t handle the fact that you’re doing better than him and it drives him crazy. You need someone who can put his pride aside and be happy for you when you meet or exceed one of your goals. You shouldn’t have to downplay your excitement for fear of upsetting someone who can’t get a handle on his emotions. You want someone who will share your passion and appreciate your hard work, not someone who would rather see you fail. The right guy will be supportive of you living out your dreams and will be by your side every step of the way.
9 Become Unavailable When You Need Him
Successful relationships are a two-way street and you need to be in all the way... or out. You may be doing everything within your power to make things work but are constantly let down. He should be more than ready to go the extra mile and put the proper time and effort into making you feel appreciated. What you need is love, respect, and emotional support. If he's not giving you any of that stuff, you need to re-evaluate things right now. You're only going to be upset and heartbroken later on. The right guy will be your partner, your better half, and your best friend through good times and bad. There is no excuse to settle for anything less.
8 Pressure You
The right guy will encourage you in positive ways while the wrong guy puts pressure on you to do things that make you uncomfortable and don’t benefit anybody but himself. If he insists that you try things that really make you feel weary, trust your instinct and put your foot down. Having a guy attempt to persuade you into making poor decisions is like having a little devil on your shoulder. While the thought can initially sound tempting, your better judgment tells you to steer clear of this guy’s ill intentions. Ask yourself what his motives are when he’s coercing you out of your comfort zone and recognize that he is a negative influence. If he proves himself to be too much to handle, cut him out of your life before he has a chance to do any real damage.
7 Talk Down To You
This should go without saying but it totally still needs to be said. There isn’t a situation imaginable where it would be acceptable for a guy to treat you poorly by belittling you. This kind of behavior can become abusive and you don’t need to stand for that. If he addresses you in a demeaning manner and is quick to throw insults your way, it’s a pretty clear indication that he’s not worthy of being with you. This type of guy is trying to whittle down your self-esteem in order to gain some sort of control. Don’t let it happen – walk away. You can do so much better and shouldn’t settle. The right guy will treat you with dignity one hundred percent of the time.
6 Impose On Your Privacy
So you're a grown woman, not a child, and you definitely don't need your boyfriend to go through your stuff trying to find something incriminating. The contents of your iPhone, laptop, and email are for your eyes only. Although it should be a no-brainer to respect your partner’s personal boundaries, the wrong guys have difficulty with common sense. Even though you know you have nothing to hide, he doesn’t have the right to infringe upon your privacy – and your trust. If he can’t understand right from wrong here, he is definitely not worth keeping around.
5 Become Too Clingy
He calls you ten times a day, he wants to hang out the second you get home from work, and he stays over at your place more often than his own. It might be nice to be the center of his whole world, but this way of life can get old real fast. Your guy is probably crazy about you and probably has good intentions, but you will need your own space. Dating someone who is needy and too dependent on you can take a toll on your relationship. He would be better served with his own set of friends, goals, aspirations, and plans instead of relying on you to provide all of that for him. It’s great that he wants to do everything with you, but holding on to your independence is vital to your sanity. A man who wants to be in your company without needing to be around you at all times is what’s really attractive.
4 Lie, Lie & Lie Some More
There are two types of lies: the kind you tell your personal trainer when he asks if you're following your Paleo lifestyle plan, and the kind when you tell your boyfriend why your phone kept going straight to voicemail last Saturday night. Everyone is guilty of telling an occasional half-truth every now and then, but being with someone who lies compulsively is both frustrating and exhausting on every level. Is a guy who acts evasive, shady, and disingenuous really someone you want to spend your life with? Don’t fall into his trap. If catching him in lie after lie has become the norm, then you already know this guy is no good for you. The right guy will remind you that the strongest relationships are built on trust and honesty, not fabrications and deceit.
3 Be Super Possessive
There’s a fine line between protective and possessive. We like when a guy shows interest in us and looks out for us. What we don’t appreciate is when a guy takes his interest in us too far and becomes possessive and controlling. This kind of behavior is not only a major turn-off but also has the potential to become dangerous if he starts to view you as his “property”. A guy who gets aggressive when you have other male friends or wants to know where you are at all times isn’t someone you want to build a future with. You have a right to make your own decisions and while it’s nice to take your partner’s feelings into consideration, he doesn’t have the final say in what you do, what you wear and who you hang out with.
2 Talk Badly About You To Others
He tells you one thing then completely changes his tune when he’s around other people. If he treats you well behind closed doors but is quick to trash-talk you to anyone who will listen, he’s so not a good fit for you. News travels fast, and it’s only a matter of time before rumblings of his distasteful choice of words make it back to you. Not only is this hurtful, but it’s also downright embarrassing. He should be proud that he’s with you, period. It’s important for him to treat you with respect both at home and in public, and if he can’t do that then he’s just wasting your time. The right guy will always stand in your corner, and come to your defense if someone has an unsavory opinion of you. You don’t need to be with someone who openly disses you in an attempt to make himself look better.
You need a partner, companion, and another half. You won't find any of those things with a cheater. Take it from me: someone who cheats isn't making a one-time mistake. They didn't suffer a lapse in judgment. And, no, they aren't sorry they cheated. The only thing they might be sorry about is that they got caught. We’ve all heard the saying “once a cheater, always a cheater,” and although you don’t want to admit it, you know it’s the truth. Cheating is the ultimate red flag, and if you are with a guy who you know is a cheater then you are asking for a tumultuous relationship right from the start. If you’re suspicious that he’s cheating, odds are you aren’t going crazy. The right guy would never cheat because he cares about your feelings too much to disrespect you in that way. The right guy definitely has self-control and sees no upside to stepping outside of the relationship when he has everything he needs with you.