Let’s be honest: sometimes guys are hard to read. We may think that we’re masters of intuition, but when it comes to our crushes, we rarely trust our gut instinct. We don’t just doubt and second-guess ourselves – we third-, forth- and fifth-guess ourselves! Usually it’s because we’ve been dragged through the ringer with a bunch of games in the past, so we don’t know if this guy is really into us or just what’s in our pants (and under our shirts).
We’ve been told to play hard to get, to not act too eager, to keep him guessing, blah blah blah, but usually it’s us who ends up playing the guessing game. Does he like us as a friend? A friend with benefits? Something more? It’s a popular brunch table topic where we can dissect his every action and conversation with our girlfriends over pitchers of mimosas and gallons of coffee, but look no further, and stress no longer: these 15 signs are surefire indicators that he wants to be with you as something serious, as relationship material, as a bonafide BF. If he’s dropping these hints and you’re into him in the same way, you might want to throw him a bone and let him know that your feelings are mutual.
15 He Makes Plans
Instead of leaving all the decision making to you, this guy shows you he actually wants to spend time with you by, you know, actually making plans to spend time with you. He invites you to come out for coffee or hit up a concert he’s been dying to see or – if you guys have known each other a bit longer – even arranges a trip for you to take together (probably as part of a group, but maybe as a couple). This guy is showing you that he wants to make you a priority in his life, which is a huge indicator of his true feelings for you. Compared to the d-bags you used to spend your time with who would rather do nothing and wait for you to make the first move, or be vague about asking you to “hang out”, this guy is making his intentions very clear because he not only wants to see you more, but be with you more.
14 He Texts You Regularly
All those games you’ve had to deal with in the past are thankfully over with when it comes to this guy. Instead of guessing when your phone is gonna buzz with a rare text from the guy you’re into, or stressing about texting too much, or getting another dreaded monosyllabic reply, this new guy texts you first – and he’s funny, charming, and actually responsive! If a guy wants to be your BF, he’s gonna show you by being genuinely interested in what you have to say, and will message you because he wants to hear from you. He’s over all those BS games because he’s not afraid to show how much he likes you. So getting a cute Snap or a text about something you said before is a nice little reminder that he’s thinking about you even when you’re not around – a major way to show his interest in our tech-driven world.
13 He Defines the Relationship
One of the scariest parts of entering into a new relationship is figuring out what to call your situation after a little while. Are you guys casual or exclusive? Are you seeing each other, dating, or officially in a relationship? Do you put it on Facebook? Do people still do that? If a guy really wants to be your BF, he won’t leave you in the lurch having to deal with the awkwardness of stumbling through a define-the-relationship talk. Instead, he’ll bring up the topic himself, or else help you along as you um and ah your way through it. Boys are the type of people to be afraid of commitment, but a real man knows what a great catch you are, so why wouldn’t he try and lock you down? If your guy is open about talking exclusivity, he’s definitely into you as more than a fling.
12 He Asks About Your Day
This man is not just in it to hit it and quit in. It seems like a small thing, but if he asks how your day was, it’s because he actually wants to know what went on in your life when he wasn’t around. Did you kill it at that presentation you were stressing over for days or get out to that show you wanted to see with your friends? This guy wants to know all about it. If your day sucked, he wants to hear you out and know what he can do – if he can do anything. If your day was awesome, he wants to give you a high five and tell you how great that is. When most people ask about each other’s day, it’s out of politeness rather than genuine curiousity, and you’ll usually reply in a one-word answer. For this guy, paying attention to the boring parts of your day is a way to show he cares and respects everything else you have going on.
11 He Wants to Meet your Family & Friends
When you’re keeping things casual, you don’t really go out of your way to introduce your guy to the people close to you in your life. But if the guy you’re seeing is starting to ask about meeting Mom and Dad, he might be thinking you guys are getting pretty serious. Sharing your BF with your family and friends is proof that you’re feeling secure in your relationship and its future, and if he’s asking to meet them, chances are he feels the same. This guy knows that these are people in your life whom you love and who are important to you, so why wouldn’t he want to be a part of that? If he’s trying to let you know he wants to be your BF, he might start dropping hints that it’s time he finally meet your BFF and the rest of the fam so you know that he’s not afraid of being subjected to the parental third degree.
10 He Thinks You’re Hilarious
Sometimes you’re funny, sometimes you’re really, really not. Sometimes your impressions are spot-on, other times they make your friends groan out loud. But if you only had your new guy as your critic, you’d think you were freakin’ hilarious and destined to be the next cast member of SNL. He thinks your jokes are great, shares your silly sense of humour, and can stay interested in your stories (even when you go into great detail about whatever weird dream you had last night).
It’s not even a question of faking it ‘til you make it: this guy actually thinks your funny, probably because his love for you is blurring his humour antenna. This guy basically thinks the sun shines out your butt, which is why you keep making him laugh. It’s sweet and a majorly obvious sign that he wants to be more than just friends (or friends with benefits).
9 He’s Okay With PDA
When you tried to suck face with your casual fling, he expertly dodged your lips because you were on a busy street and went for a lame hug, so you felt like crap for the rest of the day.
When a guy wants to be your BF, he’s totally different.
He’s proud to have you on his arm, which is why he’s totally chill when you want to get a little affectionate. He’s cool with holding hands, giving you a kiss, or even grabbing your butt when he’s feeling a little playful. He’s not trying to pretend that he’s single anymore, because instead of trying to catch the eye of random girls on the street, he only has eyes for you. He also isn’t worried about you getting the wrong idea about him – he wants to be only yours, and he wants you to know it. And he’s not kissing anyone else.
8 He’s Healthily Jealous
Not to be confused with scary, emotionally abusive, possessive jealousy, healthy jealousy is when a guy knows he’s got a gem and doesn’t want some other dude to steal her away. He’s not going through your phone or email (red flag!), but he does semi-casually inquire about a new guy you’ve mentioned a few times at work, or give a bit of side-eye to that bartender who is getting a little too friendly with you.
Jealousy is totally normal and natural when you’re getting serious with someone, and when a guy is getting a little more proprietary, it often means he wants to lock you down. As long as he’s not making you feel uncomfortable or isolating you, a little bit of jealousy can be a nice feeling, because it means he knows you’re hot stuff and that other people know you’re hot stuff. To calm his anxieties, he’ll probably want to get you off the market ASAP and make you his.
7 He Does Things “Just Because”
This guy doesn’t wait until Valentine’s Day to show you he cares: he shows you the love whenever he feels like it. Instead of using a holiday as an excuse to give you a lame box of crappy chocolates or some sappy Hallmark card with a clichéd poem, he lets you know how he feels in little ways at random. Maybe he picked you up your favourite coffee and drops it off at your office when he knows you’re having a crazy day, or he lets you have the last slice of pizza, or he picks up some of your favourite trashy magazines and soup when you’re feeling sick. When a guy wants to be your boyfriend, he doesn’t need a reason to let you know how he feels – he just does it. It’s another way he eliminates the guesswork of your relationship, because he does the little things that make you feel good and loved.
6 He’d Rather Spend Time with You Than His Friends
If this guy is cancelling on beers with the bros, it’s a pretty clear indicator that he’s giving you and your relationship higher priority. He knows his friends have been around for a while and will continue to be there for him, but you’re new in his life and he wants you to know how highly he thinks of you, and how much he values your time together. Even if a night in with you and The Bachelorette isn’t his idea of a fun time, he’ll still bite the bullet because it means he gets to have you snuggled up beside him.
Bailing on his buds is a sure sign he wants to make things serious, because he knows his friends might give him a hard time for it, but when he’s seeing everything with the look of love, it’s a small price to pay to get to be with you.
5 He Compliments You
That annoying negging thing some guys do? You know, when they try to undercut your self-esteem so that you feel like you have to get with them to prove your self-worth? Yeah, this guy is the furthest thing from that.
He sees you as the gorgeous, sexy, brilliant, funny woman that you are, and he’s not afraid to tell you so. He notices when you get a little dressed up for him or when you’ve tried something new with your hair, and he tells you how damn hot you look! He respects who you are as a person, so he’s not about to manipulate your emotions to suit his stupid game. Like a lot of things on this list, this sign is proof that he’s a grown-ass man who knows that complimenting a woman reflects positively on his character, while giving his girl an ego boost that she totally deserves.
4 He Opens Up
If he’s really interested in taking things to the next level with you and becoming your boyfriend, he’s probably willing to peel back the mask and get a little vulnerable. If he’s opening up about his childhood, problems he has with his dad, or his secret aspirations, then he’s showing you how much he trusts you and values your opinion.
Opening up to another person is undeniably scary, because you’re laying all your cards out on the table. If things go badly, the person you’re sharing these things with could use them against you as proof of what went wrong, or as reasons not to be with you. I’m not saying he needs to cry in front of you or anything, but if your new guy is willing to risk his carefully cultivated image as a big strong man with zero emotion, he’s definitely thinking of you as something serious and potentially long-term.
3 He Makes You Dinner
He doesn’t have to be a Michelin-starred chef to give you the good eats! Even if he’s just whipping up some simple spaghetti, the fact that he went to the effort of inviting you to dinner, making something you liked, and not totally ruining it is a cute sign of his willingness to put in a little extra work to earn your affection.
Anyone with a few bucks can take you out to a restaurant, but it takes someone with more serious intent to actually make you dinner (or breakfast, depending on how your date goes). While getting something to eat isn’t the most imaginative of dates, it’s hard to deny the thought that goes into making you a meal. It’s a sweet attempt to woo you, and you know there’s almost nothing sexier than a man who can make you food. Major bonus points are awarded if he tries to set the mood and cleans up all the dishes afterwards!
2 He Shows He’s a Gentleman
If you guys were just friends, or friends with benefits, he’d probably treat you like just another one of the guys. But, when he starts opening doors for you, standing on the street side of the sidewalk, or holding your heavy bags during a shopping spree, he’s definitely smitten.
These little details show how he’s seeing you in a different light than his regular friends, and he wants you to know that he respects and cherishes you. He’ll often be on his best behavior around you, because he wants to be the best version of himself for you. His good manners makes you proud to show him off in public and comfortable introducing him to Mom and Dad. And he’s just as proud of you, which is why he puts in the extra effort to let you know it. He may be the gentleman, but you are definitely his lady.
1 He Eliminates His Dating Profiles
Maybe you guys met online as a casual hook-up and now things are getting more serious, or maybe you met at a party or a bar but you knew he was a fan of swiping right and left on Tinder (because so were you). Whichever way you guys met, if you’re young, hot, and single (at least at first), chances are you were both using at least one dating app, even if it was just for fun.
If this guy was still keeping his options open, you know he’d still have his profiles active and be regularly messaging all the babes who came across his phone. But, if he’s serious about getting serious, he probably deleted his Tinder account once he thought he had a chance at something real with you. Deleting your dating profiles is a symbol of commitment before you’ve had the commitment talk, which is a major unspoken signifier that he’s ready to be exclusively yours.