We get it. There are times when a girl really wants a boyfriend more so than others. Maybe she’s tired of being the only single friend in her social circle. Maybe she’s never had a boyfriend before. Or maybe she just wants someone to cuddle with while watching Game of Thrones. There are tons of reasons for a girl to be on the hunt for a boyfriend - the only problem might be if she’s coming across as too desperate.
Girls who are playing the field want to come across as cute and flirty, but not desperate. This can give a guy the impression that she’d go for anyone who shows her attention, and that he shouldn’t consider her to be special. It might even give him the impression that she’s into something that’s just casual or physical, despite a serious relationship being what she really wants. But most importantly, coming across as desperate can be a sign of low self-esteem, which is something to work on before getting into a committed relationship.
Any girl who fits this description should ask herself why she wants a boyfriend. If it’s to boost her confidence or just to wear a label, then she’s probably not entering a relationship with the right intentions.
In this list, we’re covering 15 signs that may make him think she’s desperate. We’ll also look at five signs a confident girl has nothing to prove. Remember ladies, the most attractive quality you can have is self-confidence!
20 Desperate: She Dresses For Attention
A girl called ‘desperate’ has gained a reputation for dressing the part. She likely shows up to parties and bars in the tiniest outfits that will make sure all eyes are on her, in both a good and bad way.
Why does she do this? Because she knows how much attention she’ll get if she dresses this way. Granted, not all of it may be the type of attention she wants. But since she’s so determined to get male attention, it’s worth it in her books.
With that being said, we think that women should wear whatever makes them feel comfortable and confident. For some women, that involves wearing fewer clothes, while other ladies prefer to be a bit more covered up. As long as you feel beautiful, then that’s all that matters.
19 Desperate: She Has A Hard Time Saying ‘No’
This is one of the worst qualities of a desperate girl. Because she’s so eager to get into a relationship or simply just get attention from a guy, sometimes she’ll cross her own boundaries in order to keep his attention. The next day she might feel embarrassed about how ditzy she acted or flirtatious she got with someone who just wasn’t into it.
In addition, this type of girl is easily pressured into doing things she might not want to. If a guy is adamant about wanting to hook up, and she thinks that’s the only way to ensure he remains interested in her, she might agree despite not wanting to. It’s easy to coerce and manipulate this girl’s feelings, which means she’s likely to wind up hurt.
18 Desperate: She’s The Flirtiest Of Her Friends
A classic sign that a girl is nearing the desperate stage is if she’s all over a guy. And not just one guy… every guy she can get her hands on.
This type of girl quickly earns herself a reputation for being one of the flirtiest of her friends. Even if her pals are saying the guy isn’t worth her time, she still lets him buy her a drink and keeps him talking. She might come across as ditzy, but it’s all part of her act.
Even more, this is the type of girl who’ll have her hands all over a guy if she’s trying to flirt with him. She’s easy to lose at the bar because she’s always moving on to the next guy when her prospects begin to dwindle. Whether other people agree that she’s mastered the art of flirting or not, she’s going to keep trying until she finds someone to ask her out.
17 Nothing To Prove: She’s Not Afraid To Say What She's Thinking
If a girl is really looking to take a guy home at the end of the night, she’s not going to do anything to rock the boat. So, even if the guy says something controversial or that she doesn’t agree with, a desperate girl is unlikely to speak her mind for fear that things could go south.
However, a sign of a girl who has nothing to prove is if she’s not afraid to get into a heated debate. For one, she’s not going to apologize for her beliefs, even if it’ll cost her the guy. Rather, she’s going to defend them. Moreover, she’s not afraid to show off her intelligence even if it might put him off. This is who she is, and if a guy can’t handle it, then he’s not worth her time.
16 Desperate: She Constantly Complains About Being Single
A girl who’s desperate for romantic attention is going to treat being single like the plague!
She’s constantly whining about how lonely she feels to her gal pals, even if the majority of them are single themselves. Her friends might even tell her that she’s being a bit insensitive (especially if they’re insecure about their single status), but she won’t understand where they’re coming from.
Rather, this girl acts as though she’s less of a woman if she doesn’t have a man pining over her at all times. Likewise, she feels sorry for her friends who don’t seem to get as much male attention as her or who’ve been single for a while. In the end, not only is this not going to make the desperate girl feel better about her situation, but it’s going to push her besties away.
15 Desperate: She Always Goes For Guys Who Mistreat Her
If someone is desperate for a SO, they’ll be willing to get into a relationship even when it clearly isn’t healthy. They’ll make excuses, like that being in love comes with sacrifices, to justify their bad choice of partners.
Girls who are eager for a relationship title often end up with guys who don’t treat them in the way they deserve. They may constantly go back to the same guy despite their bad history, or simply gravitate towards the same type of toxic boyfriend.
Girls like this are so determined to make the relationship work that they’ll put up with things that should otherwise be huge warning signs, whether it’s the hurtful tone he speaks to her in or the fact that he has a wandering eye. She’ll see it as her fault if they can’t overcome their problems, even though she should’ve thrown in the towel a long time ago.
14 Nothing To Prove: She Doesn’t Dumb Herself Down For Him
Unfortunately, there are too many guys who are put off by a woman’s intelligence. But a girl who is confident in herself and isn’t about to change her ways for a guy doesn’t see this as a problem. Rather, she sees it as a way to weed out the bad options.
Just like a confident girl isn’t afraid to get into a spirited debate, she’s similarly not going to downplay her intelligence for a guy, even if she thinks it’ll give her a better chance of winning his affection.
She has no problem listing off her accomplishments and future goals and is on the hunt for a partner who’s only going to enhance her work ethic, not compromise it.
13 Desperate: She’s Always Ditching Her Friends For Him
If a girl is desperate for male attention, then she’s going to do anything to keep him happy and interested. One side effect of this is that she’ll likely start ignoring her friends in order to prioritize the new man in her life.
Her friends are used to her ditching plans and not being active on the group chat when she has a new man on her mind. And when she does hang out with her friends, she’s probably spending all that time talking about her love interest.
In the end, this can cause some serious friction between friends. Like they say, sisters come before misters, so don’t prioritize a guy you barely know over your gal pals.
12 Desperate: She Jumps From Relationship To Relationship
Some people say that it takes you half of however long your relationship was to mend a broken heart. So, if a girl is constantly jumping from one relationship to another, you can bet she’s not taking the time to properly heal her wounds (and that she’s not in the relationship for the right reasons).
If a girl constantly has new boyfriends and never takes time to just be single, it could be a sign of desperation. She wants to be in a relationship because it boosts her confidence and makes her feel wanted. In a way, her constant need for a relationship is really about her pursuing a form of self-validation, although the constant break-ups are likely ruining any sense of security her various relationships give her.
11 Desperate: She's Jealous Of Other Women
Girls are usually desperate when they’re battling their own insecurities. This means that a woman's more likely to be jealous of other women she sees as having something she lacks, whether that’s beauty, brains or confidence.
As such, the desperate girl is going to feel extremely jealous if she sees another lady macking on her man, regardless of whether she’s in an exclusive relationship with the guy or not. She’ll constantly be questioning if her love interest is attracted to other women or who he must be texting.
Even if they’ve been together forever, she’ll still have a problem with his female friends. Needless to say, she’ll be a firm believer that guys and girls can’t just be friends without anything else being stirred up.
10 Nothing To Prove: She Makes It Clear What She Wants
We’ve discussed how a desperate girl is more likely to feel pressured into doing things she’s not comfortable with just because she’s so eager to keep the guy’s attention and make things work. This can, of course, be detrimental if the girl crosses a line that she never wanted to in the first place.
A sign of a confident girl is if she's laying down the ground rules from the beginning. She’ll be clear about what she wants, whether that’s a casual hook-up or something more serious. Likewise, she’ll be clear about what she doesn’t want. If a guy goes AWOL because he doesn’t like what she has to say, then she’ll know he’s the one who’s missing out, not the other way around.
9 Desperate: She’s Eager For Things To Move Faster
Some relationships progress faster than others and there’s nothing wrong with that. But it’s a different situation if the girl is actively pushing the relationship to move faster than its natural pace.
If a girl is eager for things to progress quickly, it could be a sign she’s only with her SO to be in a relationship, not because she’s genuinely into him.
If the connection was less superficial, she’d be okay taking her time in the relationship and enjoying the moment. But it comes across as desperate if she’s anxious to put a label on things. It makes it appear as though she has something to prove to the world by being in a relationship, which isn’t a good reason to be exclusive with someone.
8 Desperate: She’s Always Bragging About Him
There’s nothing wrong with being excited about being in a new relationship or being proud of your partner’s accomplishments. But it’s not a healthy sign if a girl is constantly bragging about how awesome her SO is.
What this means is that she’s likely more concerned about how her relationship looks to others rather than the actual quality of the relationship. She wants others to approve of her relationship and validate how awesome he is. It’s a sign she might only be in the relationship to impress others or boost her own confidence.
Ask yourself if you think the girl would still be with this guy if he didn’t have the long list of qualities she’s so eager to have in a partner. If the answer is no, then she’s likely in the relationship only for bragging rights, and not because she’s genuinely interested in him.
7 Desperate: She’s Always The First To Text Him
A girl who’s desperate is going to be most eager to spend one-on-one time with the object of her affection. Thus, if she has his number or has added him on social media, she’ll be constantly messaging him to see when he can meet up. In fact, she’ll have earned a reputation for always texting him, even when it becomes clear he’s just not that into her.
If he doesn’t reply right away, it will make her concerned that he’s not as interested or, even worse, that he could be seeing someone else. This will motivate her to keep messaging him until she gets a reply. But even if he does reply, she’ll likely be over-analyzing his messages, especially if she doesn’t get the answer she wanted. Someone just needs to take this girl’s phone away!
6 Nothing To Prove: She Needs Her Friends’ Approval
A desperate girl is so eager to get into a relationship that she won’t prioritize the opinions of her friends.
Perhaps her gal pals are worried about the weird vibe they’re getting from her new SO or are concerned because she’s getting back with a guy who’s already broke her heart in the past. But since she’s so eager to have male attention, these sorts of concerns will go right over her head.
On the other hand, a woman who has nothing to prove to a man is going to value her friends’ opinions. Whether it’s about the guy who’s checking her out at the bar or the man she’s been dating for a few weeks, this type of gal prioritizes what her besties think. If they don’t give their approval, then it’s likely that there won’t be a second date.
5 Desperate: She Wants To Know Everything About Him
Sure, when you first meet someone, you can’t wait to get to know them and see how compatible you two are (or not). But these sorts of things are best when they happen naturally and over time. Things can go sour fast if you try to rush them or if the two people aren’t on the same page.
Since she’s so eager to have an official relationship, a desperate girl is going to want to hit fast-forward on the ‘getting to know you’ phase. In her mind, the sooner they can get these minor details about each other out of the way, the sooner they can move on to the next, more serious, stage of their relationship.
Unfortunately, this can often be OTT for the other person, leading them to create distance between them and their SO since things already feel like they’re getting claustrophobic.
4 Desperate: She Fishes For Compliments
Girls have a bad habit of dissing themselves in order to get compliments from other people. We’ve all been getting ready with our gal pals just for one of them to say she feels fat, which of course motivates all the girls to reassure her that she’s, in fact, gorgeous.
The more desperate the girl, the more often she’ll fish for compliments. She’ll do this with her friends to make herself feel confident that she’s just as pretty as them. But she’ll most often do this when surrounded by guys - and it’s often not very subtle.
While some guys will be into telling her how smoking she looks, other will just be turned off by the insecurity she’s emanating.
3 Desperate: She Changes Her Whole Self For Him
Since she’s desperate to make the relationship work, this girl will go to extreme lengths to keep her man, even if it means changing parts of herself that she thinks will make her more appealing to her SO. This could mean something as simple as changing the colour of her hair or the way she dresses, though it could also take on more extreme forms, like quitting hobbies or distancing herself from friends.
Either way, no girl is going to be happy in the long run if she’s had to make major changes just to save her relationship. And, it also means the guy isn’t with her because he loves her for who she truly is. Even if changing herself makes things work for a bit longer, she'll lose herself (and probably the relationship) in the end.
2 Desperate: She Talks About The Future Immediately
Like we said, a desperate girl is determined to get herself into a relationship pronto. Part of that means making plans for the future. A guy is going to be less likely to ghost you if you’ve already talked about meeting the parents and taking a trip in a few months, right?
Unfortunately, the more desperate the girl is, the sooner she’ll begin doing this with her love interest (even if they’re not in a relationship!). This could stress out her SO, especially if he’s not sure if he wants a committed relationship, which could cause him to pull back.
Even if he does want something long-term, he might still be put off by this if his girl is talking about the future when they haven’t even had a conversation about exclusivity yet.
1 Nothing To Prove: She Has Other Things Going For Her
The main sign of a desperate girl is if she bases her entire worth on a relationship. She feels incomplete if she doesn’t have a guy giving her attention. She gets the biggest boost of confidence when she’s got the interest of a man, whereas things like her work or friendships don’t satisfy her nearly as much.
A woman who’s got nothing to prove has many other things going on for her than her dating life. She knows that it doesn’t mean anything if she doesn’t have a SO. She still finds satisfaction in her job, social life, family, hobbies, and all the other things that can give someone a sense of fulfillment. She knows nothing will change that, even if she doesn’t end up in a relationship.