Some people love to hear themselves talk. They could go on and on and on without stopping to take a breath, and not even realize that people are staring at them with glazed over eyes, barely even listening to a word they're saying. Social media has made us a society of over sharers, and we love to ramble on about anything and everything never stopping to think if people are actually interested in what we have to say.
Writers know that every word has to serve a function. Every sentence has to add to the overall story, or it should be edited out. But when we talk, we talk to fill silences, to have something to do, to make our lives seem important and exciting. But if we're being honest, a lot of the stuff we babble on about, no one cares to hear. Not that that means we're going to stop doing it, but it can't hurt to be aware of it.
15 What you ate for breakfast
Food in general is a huge topic of conversation that literally no one but you cares about. Go ahead and tell people about a new brunch place they just have to check out, because everyone is always looking for brunch spot recommendations. But there's no need to describe what you ordered in detail. And even though you got 20 likes on the photo you snapped of your eggs benny, that doesn't mean anyone actually wants to discuss it. Food is much better experienced first hand, so if you must talk about your most recent meal, make it quick.
14 Your commute
The time it takes to get to and from work, as boring and uneventful as it usually is, always manages to become big news. Was the traffic worse than usual? Was there an accident on a major highway? Did the weather slow everything down? Why haven't they finished the construction on the expressway yet? Maybe your train was delayed and ranting and raving about the terrible public transportation in your city somehow makes you feel better. But we all have to deal with it. So suck it up.
13 The weather
Yes, it's really hot out. Yes, there was a blizzard last night and you had to dig your car out of the driveway this morning. Yes, you just got caught in the same sudden downpour as the rest of your office. There really isn't a whole lot to say other than pointing out the current weather conditions and moving on. Talking (read: complaining) about the weather is something we all do. It's that universal small talk topic you can bring up when you have nothing else to talk about. No one actually wants to talk about the weather, but we'll never stop doing it.
12 Your skin problems
We all obsess over our skin sometimes. We spend way too much time in front of the mirror examining every pore and blemish, and then trying to cover it all up before we leave the house. Then we're positive people can see everything wrong with our skin. But the truth is, most of the time no one even notices that zit on your chin. Unless you point it out. There's only so much you can say about your dry skin, what kind of lotion you use, and your upcoming dermatologist appointment before it gets old.
11 Your digestion issues
What makes you think anyone wants to hear about how eating dairy sends you running to the bathroom? It's perfectly acceptable to decline cheese on your hamburger without telling everyone why you can't eat cheese. Sure, everyone poops, but that doesn't mean we have to discuss it in detail. There's such a thing as TMI, and anything digestion related falls right into that category. Keep it to yourself.
10 Your period
Sometimes we all want to rant about how awful having a period is. It's like some kind of competition to find out who has the worst period symptoms, and can therefore shame all the other woman who only have mild cramps and minimal boating. Either that or you're bragging about how regular and manageable your period has always been. Well lucky you. No one cares. Your period is another one of those bodily functions things that we're all aware exist, but there's really no need to talk about, unless it's to your gynecologist.
9 Every "cute" thing your kid did today
You're a parent, and your kids are pretty much your entire life. But that doesn't mean everyone else wants to hear the play-by-play of everything they do. Your close friends and family are probably happy to listen to you gush about your little ones taking their first steps, or uttering their first words. But there's a limit. Frankly, your work acquaintances don't care that your kid tasted apple sauce for the first time yesterday. If you have nothing else to talk about other than your kids, no one is going to want to hang out with you. Don't be one of those parents who doesn't even notice when people's eyes start to glaze over from staring at hundreds of baby pictures.
Wedding planning is tedious and stress inducing on the best of days. Of course, it's all worth it when you see the end result, but the actual day to day planning of it all? Not an interested topic of conversation. You probably have your go-to people, like your mom and your maid of honor, who will listen to you obsess over what the center pieces should look like, but do everyone else a favor and spare them the minutiae of your decision making process. If you really need to vent, tell it to your fiance, since he's the one who signed up for this.
7 Your crazy dreams
Notice how right when you wake up you remember exactly what you dreamt about, but later when you try to describe that dream to someone it sounds absolutely ridiculous and no longer seems to makes any sense? Well it makes even less sense to the person you're describing it to. No one else can interpret your dreams for you, or figure out what your subconscious is trying to tell you. That's if it's trying to tell you anything at all. Dreams don't make sense, and trying to put them into words is just a waste of everyone's time.
6 A joke you told three days ago
You're probably really funny, and your joke was probably hysterical, but when you keep bringing it up even after days have gone by and other jokes have been told, if makes you look desperate for attention. You don't want anyone to forget how funny you were that one time. How clever you were. Jokes are only funny in the moment, and to people that were there to experience them first hand. Hearing the story of a joke is not even close to the same thing. So quit trying to relive that one time you made people laugh and focus on how to make them laugh again.
5 Your diet problems
So you've decided you need to lose some weight. That's great! Food is a huge part of our lives, and something we all think about on a daily basis. But no one wants to hear about how many calories something is before they eat it. You're free to count calories (preferably in your head), but don't assume everyone else is doing the same. If you want to eat a kale salad with dressing on the side, go for it, but don't rave about how amazing it is, because everyone knows you're lying.
4 Your workout routine
A good work out routine is essential for losing weight. Whether you like to run, or do yoga, or you've joined a CrossFit group, it doesn't matter, no one wants to hear every detail about it. Either it makes them feel guilty for going home every day and sitting on the couch with a bowl of popcorn, or it just sounds like you're bragging about how in shape and healthy you are. There are a lot more interesting things to talk about than how you've upgraded to the 10 pound dumbbells, and you can now do 100 squats in a row.
3 How hungover you are
When we get drunk we tend to ramble on and not realize we're repeating ourselves, and a drunk person loves to talk about just how drunk they are. Like you have to warn people that it's possible you could do something dumb and they should probably keep an eye on you. The next morning it's all moaning about how hungover you are and how you shouldn't have gotten so drunk last night. Why didn't anyone stop you?! We've all been there, and we all end up uttering the lie, "I'm never drinking again."
2 How much you hate your job
We all complain about work, because no one has the perfect job that is never stressful with perfect co-workers who never frustrate them. But if you're constantly whining about how much you hate your job and how badly you want to quit, but you never actually do anything to make it better, people are going to get fed up. You're lucky to have a job, but if it makes you that unhappy, you're free to leave and find something else. No one feels sorry for you, because if it was that bad, you'd do something about it.
1 Your pet's weird habits
There aren't many people out there who don't want to see a couple cute puppy or kitten pictures. There are Instagram accounts full of them that have thousands of followers, because animals are adorable and hilarious at times. But it gets to the point where if you have nothing else to talk about other than how your cat loves to lick plastic bags, people are going to think you have no life. Maybe you need to get out more, because guess what? Everyone's cat licks plastic bags. Yours isn't special.