Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Who hasn’t heard this line before, right? Most of us tend to shrug it off as a saying that was made up to make the girl with low self-esteem, feel better about herself. After all, it’s common knowledge that men are visual creatures. But when it comes to what they find beautiful in women, there’s more than meets the eye.
It’s not always the physical qualities that men are most drawn to – although physical attraction definitely helps initially. We have to realize that when it comes to our idea of beauty, we are in fact, our own worst enemies. We place unrealistic ideals of beauty onto ourselves that even supermodels – who are heavily photoshopped – are not able to live up to. While we think we need to live up to those unrealistic beauty standards in order to be deemed attractive, it’s just not the case. Men, as confusing as they are, aren’t actually looking for that societal view of beauty that we think they want. They find beauty in things that we wouldn’t expect.
So what exactly do men find beautiful that may seem surprising to us?
15 Being Laid Back
I’m not talking about leaving your home looking like it should be on an episode of Hoarders. But not being afraid to get a little messy, shows him that you have an easy going nature. Guys want a woman that can go with the flow. But if you go into full blown panic mode because he put a fork in the sink instead of the dishwasher, he’s going to feel like he has to walk on eggshells around you. Not a good start to a relationship. It may not seem like a big deal to you, but being able to put off tidying up the kitchen or folding that load of laundry, it will make him feel like he can relax when he’s with you. Plus, you’d be surprised how much of a turn on it actually is to a guy when you can suggest putting off the dishes till morning, simply because you would rather spend time with him.
14 Pony Tails
Ah, the ponytail. It’s the lazy girl’s best friend and a go to hairstyle for a day in. With minimal effort, it can make you look more put together without spending a half hour in front of the mirror. Let’s face it, most men roll out of bed in the morning, run their fingers through their hair and they’re done. They may love how great your hair looks after you do it, but they hate waiting on the results. The ponytail in a man’s eyes is basically a calling card telling them that you aren’t high maintenance. Don’t get me wrong, it doesn’t mean you’re low maintenance either. But a simple updo is enough to make a guy see that your morning routine doesn’t rival Kim Kardashian’s on a daily basis. Yes, we know you’re a total bombshell after you’ve done your hair and so does he. But you don’t have to worry about how your hair looks all the time because he thinks you’re a total hottie, even when you don’t.
13 Confidence And Self Respect
Confidence and self-respect go hand in hand. They are both traits a guy wants their girlfriend to possess. We all know that confidence is sexy. It’s one of the things that people gravitate towards and is usually one of the first things a guy will notice. But add self-respect, and a man is hooked. Confident people have a magnetic personality and they know their worth. People are naturally drawn to you, and you don’t have to try too hard to impress anyone.
You could be the most beautiful woman in the room, but If you aren’t confident, it’s likely he’s going to move on to someone else. If you’re lacking in that department, find ways to improve how you feel about yourself. Because once you’ve raised your confidence level, you’ll be surprised at how much more attention you’ll be getting. If you’re on the hunt for a guy, you’ll be much more likely to find one. And if you’ve already got one, I guarantee he’ll love the more confident you.
You don't want to be overly independent in the sense that you refuse to accept help from anyone. But most men are really attracted to an independent woman who can handle things on her own. A clingy girlfriend is one of the biggest turn offs for a guy. Guys value their freedom, and if they get the vibe that you aren’t going to give them any space, they’re going to run for the hills. Guy’s do like to feel needed, but you have to remember that they aren’t looking to do everything for you. But if he really likes you, there really won’t be much to ask of him anyway. Once he knows you need something done, he’ll want to be your hero and offer his assistance.
Codependent relationships rarely work out. They are stressful for both people and it puts unnecessary pressure on the relationship. Do both of you a favor and find enjoyment in doing things on your own.
11 Lounge Wear
Okay, this one may seem a little surprising, maybe even slightly confusing. After all, how could hanging around the house all day in your pj's be attractive? Wouldn't it just make you seem lazy? Well, it all goes back to being laid back. As shocking as it sounds, a girl who can hang around the house still dressed in her pj’s is actually something guys find attractive. Guys are into a woman who has an easy going nature. We all have those days when putting on "real" clothes is just unappealing. On days you're just hanging out together in comfy clothes and watching TV, they get to see another side of you. It's a level of being relaxed they don't get to see most of the time. When your hair is up in a messy bun and you're dressed in loungewear, this will be one of the times they’ll think you’re at your most beautiful.
There's nothing wrong with being girly. In fact, it's something guys love. Some women feel that by showing off their feminine side, they’re confirming that they are the weaker sex. This isn’t true. From a biological standpoint, as women, we tend to look to a man for what they can provide as well as protection. Hey, don’t kill the messenger, it’s science people! For men, they are biologically wired to be attracted to feminine women, because essentially, it makes them feel like a man. So when you’re wearing that pretty floral dress you keep in the back of your closet, they can’t help but admire how stunning you look. But there’s more to being feminine than how you dress. It’s also your demeanor. The way you conduct yourself is extremely important. You don’t want to act like you’re one of the guys. Save the burping contest for your brother.
It may have been your pretty face that drew him in, but if you want to be more than just arm candy, you need the brains to keep him around. Guys don't want you to play dumb. Most men need more in a girlfriend than just beauty. Intelligence is sexy. They want a woman that they can carry on a conversation with. Not some airhead who can't form a coherent sentence. Guys actually like a woman with an opinion and talking to an intelligent woman is never dull. They never run out of interesting topics to discuss. Of course, you don’t want to be a know it all. And if he’s telling you about something, don’t act like you know what he’s talking about when you don’t. Trust us he’ll know. A smart woman would be interested in learning what he’s talking about and he’ll love teaching you something new. The dumb but pretty girl may be fun for a short time. But attraction isn’t going to stop him from growing bored and finding someone new. Someone who has both brains and beauty.
8 Sense of Humor
Guys love a girl with a sense of humor. If you can take a joke and be able to dish one out, you'll have him hooked. Men love the sound of a woman's laugh. Actually, if you were to ask a man what’s the number one quality they want in a woman, most guys are going to say a sense of humor. The ability to laugh things off and not take yourself too seriously is important in a relationship. A sense of humor can allow you to diffuse a situation instead of letting it escalate and spiral out of control. On the other hand, you do need to know when to be serious. Laughter isn’t always the best policy. It could make someone feel embarrassed or even angry if it’s used at the wrong time. But as long as you save your humor for when it’s appropriate, you can use it to bring your guy closer to you.
Having a sense of playfulness is a trait guys find beautiful. No one wants to be serious all the time. Besides, how much fun would that be? Go ahead and tease him a little, but do it in a cute flirtatious kind of way. You don’t want to come off as if you’re criticizing him. Being lighthearted and playing around with your guy will make him feel closer to you. It’s a side of you that most people don’t get to see. When you relax and have a little fun with him, he’ll feel like you’re letting your guard down and letting him see that childlike innocence that you keep locked away. It will show him you trust him and you feel safe around him. You don't have to channel your inner child completely. Even doing something little to show off that playful side of yourself, will have him smiling every time he thinks about it for weeks.
6 No Makeup
Okay, we know you look flawless when your makeup is on point – thank you Youtube makeup gurus for the tutorials! But you don’t need to cake your face to look beautiful. Actually, he prefers that you didn’t. Natural beauty is something to be proud of. And you shouldn’t hide it behind mountains of packed on makeup. He wants to see you bare faced at least occasionally. Save the glammed up look for a night out. Guys aren’t really into over the top looks and don’t want to see you overdone in any aspect really. Actually, it’s safe to tone down on the excessive perfume and insanely long finger nails too. They want to see what you really look like even while you’re wearing makeup. And we all know the power of a good contour. It completely changes your face. And while we may love the look – hello slimmer face - and your friends will be wanting makeup pointers. Guys can’t help but feel like it’s false advertising the first time you remove your makeup and they don’t recognize you. That can be a huge deal breaker. When you’re comfortable going without makeup, it shows them that you’re secure with your identity. Guys tend to prefer the natural look when it comes to makeup. So if you must wear makeup all the time, skip the bold and bright colors and tone it down with nudes and earth tones.
No one is expecting you to be “on” 24/7, but living an active lifestyle is highly attractive to guys. And as cliché as it may be a lot of guys enjoy the outdoors and want a woman who can keep up with them. If all you ever want to do is sit on the couch and scarf down potato chips, it may appeal to some guys – at least for a little while. But that routine is bound to get boring fast. Having the energy to get out and go do things, shows that you have a zest for life. You are determined to live your life to the fullest. Having abundant energy means you don’t have to plan for weeks for an outing, you can be spontaneous. If you’re sitting around the house bored, you can suggest going for a hike or checking out that new restaurant in town. He’ll find this spontaneity exciting. Guys like going out and having a good time without having to plan everything.
4 Sense Of Adventure
There's nothing wrong with staying in sometimes. But you don’t want to be a total homebody either. Having a sense of adventure is a good thing. It means you’re not afraid to go out and try something new. Guys love when a girl is down for whatever. You don’t have to drop everything and fly to another country to explore. But going to a new restaurant and ordering something you’ve never had before, is still a lot of fun. And even if it’s absolutely terrible, you still tried it and it was something you did together. Trying new things and going on adventures is a bonding experience. Especially if it's something neither of you have done before. A sense of adventure helps to keep the relationship from becoming stale. Whenever things start becoming a routine you can plan something or be a little spontaneous and like magic, things liven up again.
3 A Great Attitude
A little positivity can go a long way. No one wants to be around an eternal pessimist or a total b****. They just bring everyone around them down. But the woman who is a kind and positive person is a beacon of light. Exuding positive energy attracts people to you because you can brighten anyone’s day. When you don’t let things get you down and have a good attitude it rubs off on those around you. We all know those people who just have something about them. It’s not explainable, but when they’re around, you’re just happier. Those are the people you want in your life and that’s the kind of person your guy wants in his. When you can make a guy smile after he’s had a bad day, he will appreciate you even more. We know it’s not always easy to stay in a positive mind frame, so don’t beat yourself up if you can’t keep a smile plastered on your face all the time.
Forget about what fashions magazines would like you to believe. Men don’t really prefer that women look like walking stick figures. All shapes and sizes are beautiful to them. And in reality, men love curves. They love the softness of a woman’s body and a little extra softness never hurt anyone. When a guy looks at you, he isn’t seeing the things you perceive to be flaws. In his eye’s you are flawless. He thinks you’re beautiful, if he didn’t he probably wouldn’t be with you. There’s no reason to beat yourself up over those few extra pounds. On a conscious level, men are attracted to curves simply because curvy women have more boobs and butt. On the subconscious level, men are drawn to curvier women because it’s a sign of fertility. Okay, so maybe you aren’t wanting babies at the moment and most likely it’s not on his mind either. But you can’t change biology.
1 Messy Hair
You may be horrified at the thought of waking up next to your guy with your hair looking like a tangled mess. I know some women make sure to wake up earlier than their guy, just so they can do a little primping. But go ahead and catch those extra zzz’s because your guy loves your bedhead. When he wakes up next to you the only thing he’s going to be thinking is “how did I get so lucky?” because you look so incredible in the morning. Knotted hair and all. But when you get down to it, it’s not that surprising men think messy hair is sexy. Think about, after a good romp in the sack, your hair is a hot mess. When your hair is on the messy side they can’t help but think about sex. Even the hot girls in movies have loose curls and frizz. It’s rare to see stick straight hair that doesn’t move.