In the bedroom, pretty much anything goes as long as you and your partner are in agreement. But if you still aren’t at the point where you’re completely comfortable with your partner, your behavior in the bedroom could definitely put some stress on your relationship.
We’re not here to give you tips and tricks on how to make his toes curls, we’re here to save you from yourself. Which is honestly a little more important to know. That's because bedroom chemistry is an essential part of all relationships, and if you’re doing little things to tick your guy off between the sheets, it could spell doom for your love life. You don't want silly mistakes to be what brings your relationship to an end.
Instead of waiting for things to become so bad they’re practically unfixable, it’s time you take notice of all of the annoying habits that are turning your fun behind closed doors into a nightmare for your boo.
Keep reading to see the 15 things he wants you to stop doing in bed.
15 Excessive Eye Contact
Eye contact is a good thing when it comes to bonding. It can make the two of you feel even closer than ever doing those intimate moments. But too much eye contact could actually be turning him off.
If you’re the type of girl who likes to get lost in your guy’s eyes during the entire session, you could be creeping him out. A glance here and there is perfectly fine, but if you noticed that he shifts his gaze every time the two of you lock eyes, it’s pretty clear that he’s not a fan of it.
Continuous eye contact that lasts for ten seconds or longer can make the person on the receiving end feel uncomfortable. He may start to wonder if maybe he has something on his face or if you’re challenging him to an impromptu staring contest. So keep the eye-locking to a minimum if you don’t want to creep him out.
14 Demanding He Take His Socks Off
You may feel comfortable stripping down the minute the two of you step foot in the bedroom, but your partner may not be so willing to take it all off. Let’s face it, men don’t always have the prettiest feet. And if a guy did have nice feet, I would seriously reconsider dating him. Jacked up feet is the norm for a guy who’s busy all day, playing sports, climbing rocks and doing typical guy things. Until he’s really comfortable with you, he may want to hide his fugly feet from you. Don’t be offended, you should thank him for sparing you the visual of his crusty toes, athlete’s foot and whatever else he’s working with underneath his socks.
So if you and your guy are in the heat of the moment, and you look down and see he’s still wearing his socks, cut him some slack. He’s probably doing you a favor by keeping them under wraps.
Ladies, it’s time to eliminate the words “I’m sorry” from our vocabulary right here and right now. Especially when used in the bedroom, saying you’re sorry can come across as a lack of self-confidence, and as I’m sure you already know, lacking confidence is anything but sexy.
If your partner is trying to do something that you’re just not totally comfortable with, it’s time for you to speak up. Be firm, assertive and confident in yourself and your words, but by no means should you ever say, “I’m sorry, but this just isn’t something I’m in to.”
You don’t need to apologize for speaking your mind and reinforcing your boundaries. Being intimate with someone you really care about should be a stress-free and pleasurable experience. So ditch the “sorry” and start standing up for yourself. He’ll appreciate your honesty more than anything, and you’ll be happy that you finally spoke your mind.
12 Hiding Your Body
So you and your boo are finally about to seal the deal. He starts to undress you, and as he removes each article of clothing, you use your hands and arms to cover your body. Do you really think he cares that you have a little extra pudge on your stomach? Chances are, he has a few insecurities of his own, but imagine if he shouted out, “Don’t stare at my butt!” when the two of you were getting intimate. You would probably get a little turned off, right? Well, chances are your lack of confidence is turning him off, too.
If you’re not comfortable with showing your body, your insecurities will definitely be on full display in the bedroom. But even if you’re not in the best of shape, your guy wants you to walk into the room fully nude with the confidence of a swimsuit model. So get in there and work it, girl! Learn to love yourself and your body and he will fall in love with you, too!
11 Asking Too Many Questions
Do you like that? Do you want more? What does it feel like? Does this tickle?
OMG! Just stop! Zip it, woman! Chill out! Don’t you realize you’re about ten seconds from completely blowing this whole encounter? I’m not sure who told you excessive talking was a turn on, or perhaps you’ve been watching one too many dirty movies, but when it comes to real life intimate encounters, less is more. It’s okay to vocalize your thoughts in the heat of the moment, but asking too many questions is guaranteed to bug him a bit. He’ll put up with it of course, because the experience is pleasurable, but every time you open your mouth, he just wishes you would keep it closed.
If he’s not asking you too many questions during your intimate moments, take note. It’s best to follow his lead in this situation. If he’s not much of a talker then it’s best to keep the communication to a minimum.
10 Talk About Your Day
He doesn’t care if you had a bad day. He doesn’t care that you ran out of gas on the 405 freeway. He doesn’t care that your boss asked you to stay 30 minutes later to help finish up a project, and he definitely doesn’t care that Jenny’s ex-boyfriend’s little sister sent you a shady DM on Instagram. All he wants to do is enjoy the moment, but your constant chatter about your mundane daily life is definitely turning him off.
Using your intimate moments to give him the 4-1-1 on all the happenings of your day is the quickest way to make any guy abort mission. He may find it hard to concentrate, and worst of all, he may completely give up on trying to seal the deal. Important (or non-important) conversations about your day should never be discussed while the two of you are in the heat of the moment.
9 Just Lay There
When it comes to being intimate, your partner wants to know that you’re having fun and you’re enjoying the moment. You can show him that you’re attracted to him and lost in the moment by being an active participant in the festivities. But if you want your partner to never call you again, just lay there like a paraplegic the entire time.
When you don’t make an effort to be engaging during your intimate moments, you send off the message that you’re partner is not pleasing you, and you would much rather be anywhere but with him. He secretly hopes that you’re just being shy, and you’ll get more comfortable as time goes on. But after multiple back-to-back sessions, he’s starting to get a little annoyed by your lack of enthusiasm.
8 Not Initiating
Guys are used to initiating everything, from approaching you in public, to reaching out first after you give him your number, to setting up your very first date. But just because guys are accustomed to initiating and doing the chasing, it doesn’t mean they want to chase you for the duration of your relationship.
After awhile, any guy would get a little fed up with always having to be the aggressor, and always having to initiate things. Sometimes, he just wants you to take control. He wants you to grab him by the hand, pull him into the bedroom, and have your way with him. If you initiate things from time to time, it will reassure him that you’re attracted to him and you desire him, and every guy wants to feel desired!
If you’re in the mood and your guy is just sitting there binge watching shows on Netflix, don’t wait for him to initiate things. Take matters into your own hands and get the party started!
7 Being Too Loud
When it comes to expressing yourself in the bedroom, some positive reinforcement is needed so that your partner can learn more about what you like and what you don’t like between the sheets. But some women take things way too far by being overly loud and extremely obnoxious. There are other ways to show your partner that he’s pleasing you, and none of them include screaming bloody murder at the top of your lungs.
Perhaps you think that screeching like a wild boar will turn him on, but it might actually have the opposite effect. Being unusually loud (like loud enough to scare the crap out of his pet cat) may lead him to believe that you’re faking it to stroke his ego. So try to control yourself by toning it down a bit. You don’t want the neighbors to think someone is getting bludgeoned to death in his apartment, do you?
6 Turning Off the Lights
Everyone has a preference on how they like to be intimate. Some prefer the lights on, some like to keep them off, while others couldn’t care less. But if you’re making a big stink about the lights being on or off, you could be driving him crazy…and not in a good way.
If you insist on having the lights off every time the two of you get together, what are you really trying to hide? Are you uncomfortable with your body? Do you not want to him to see your problem areas? You do realize you can’t hide in the dark forever, right?
If you’re the type of person who always runs to shut off the lights before the two of you get started, it’s not only making you look self-conscious, but your partner could get fed up at some point. Men are visual creatures, and they want to be able to see you in all your glory. Once you keep the lights on once or twice, you’ll definitely become more comfortable with it, and it may even help your relationship in the long run!
5 Remaining Quiet
Okay, so you already know how important it is to not ask too many questions while being intimate. And we also discussed how making too much noise can be a turn off. But on the flip side, if you’re being too quiet, you can also be ruining things in the bedroom. I know, I know. You’re probably scratching your head in confusion. It may sound like there’s a bunch of bedroom rules to abide by, but that’s simply not the case. There’s a fine line between being annoying and showing your partner that you’re having fun. And being too quiet will make him think something’s wrong.
This isn’t the library, so there’s no need for you to keep your lips sealed. Making some noises here and there will let him know that you’re enjoying the experience, and you like what he’s doing! Most men aim to please, so being vocal will let him know that he’s making you happy. He can’t read your mind, so you have to give him so verbal cues that he’s on the right track and pushing the right buttons.
4 Acting Uptight
Don’t touch my hair. Don’t touch my butt. Close your eyes. I don’t want you to see this.
Do you know how fast a man can go from excited to annoyed if you act uptight in the bedroom? Research has shown that it takes approximately 3.3 seconds for a guy to get fed up with your BS. Okay, not really, but you get where I’m going with this, right? Acting extremely uptight in the bedroom and making him perform by your rules takes all of the fun out of being intimate. He may grow to detest the thought of even being with you, because he knows he’s going to do something wrong that you’ll chew him out about.
Remember, it’s good to have clear boundaries when it comes to getting intimate, but acting uptight is on a level of its own. Freaking out because he accidentally ripped out one of your extensions will not only embarrass him, but it will also kill the mood. So go easy on the guy, and loosen up a bit.
3 Going Where No Other Woman Has Gone
As a rule of thumb, try to keep things as traditional as possible when it comes to the first few times being intimate with your partner. This is really not the time to explore some uncharted terrain on his body (if you catch my drift.) When it comes to being super adventurous in the bedroom, you have to take your partner’s likes and dislikes into consideration. If he has not explicitly told you that he likes a certain unconventional area of his body to be tickled and touched, then don’t take it upon yourself to start conquering that area.
Not holding back and living in the moment is one thing, but having a free-for-all on his body parts can make him feel uncomfortable and can definitely kill the mood. So the next time you feel like going where no other woman has gone before, make sure you get his permission beforehand.
2 Comparing Him to Your Ex
Your partner knows there were a couple of guys before him, but he doesn’t want to hear about those experiences at all! Remember, men are visual creatures. So when you tell him that your ex-boyfriend Bobby used to do this crazy thing with his tongue, your partner will start to visualize all of the gory details in his mind. It can really turn him off to know that at some point, someone else was doing the things that he’s currently doing to you. Although he knows that it’s a part of reality, it’s just not something that he willingly wants to think about.
So keep all the talk about your exes and previous sexual partners to yourself. What’s in the past needs to stay in the past, and the only thing that matters right now is the time you’re sharing with your new partner. Just imagine if the shoe were on the other foot, and he was the one telling you about all the kinky things he used to do with his ex-girlfriend. You wouldn’t like that, would you? Didn’t think so!
1 Faking It
This is a public service announcement: Please stop faking it in the bedroom! You’re not doing him any favors, and you’re definitely doing yourself a disservice. What do you think you’re accomplishing by pretending to be satisfied? If anything, you’re lying to your partner just to boost his ego. But at some point, he’s bound to catch on to your fibs.
By faking it, you will never be able to experience the real thing. Your partner will assume he’s doing all the right things to rev your engine, and you will get so lost in your tangled web of lies, that three years down the line, it will be almost impossible for you to turn to him and say, “You know, I’ve been faking it this whole time.”
Now’s the time for you to take matters into your own hands. Find out what you like, and then relay the message to your partner the next time the two of you are going at it. With a little bit of practice and patience, you won’t have to fake it any longer.