Let’s face it: once a majority of people break up with someone, they tend to build a different life away from that specific person. They move on. They start new relationships and tend to even start new friendships with that new person’s own circle and vice-versa. However, there are those few who exist that still remain close to their exes. They’re the ones who take the term “let’s just be friends” literally. Heck, there’s a reason why you started a relationship with that person in the first place, and those reasons don’t change after you break up if you genuinely loved that person. But sometimes, if you’re still close friends with an ex, you will talk to them about your current relationship, whether it’s praising or complaining. So if you find that the man you happen to be in a relationship is still good friends with his ex, these are list of 15 things he most likely has told her about you.
15. Your Profession
You know, whenever you start a new relationship or even have your foot dipped in the dating pool, what you actually do for a living comes up in conversation. It’s one of the first conversations you have with someone new. And if you happen to have a fairly interesting job, your significant other has discussed it with his old flame. I happen to be one of those few who is still close friends with her ex, and during the times when we have discussed some of the women he’s been out with if her profession happens to be something interesting, he brings it up. And I do the same when it comes to the men I’m seeing. This isn’t a bad thing unless it’s used in a negative light, which isn’t too often.
14. The Smallest Habit He Finds Irritating
Tiny little bad habits tend to be highlighted 100x when you’re in a relationship with someone – even more so than the big habits. Chances are, if he’s brought up a bad habit he finds utterly annoying (like biting your nails, or even grosser, biting your toe-nails – crud like that), then yes, he’s told his ex about it. Or, rather, complained to his ex about it and if she’s actually a good friend, she would be quick to highlight a bad habit of his that YOU probably put up with in order to shut him down quick. Trust me, if the woman is still a friend of his then she knows all his idiotic habits and just rolls her eyes if he’s complaining about how you leave wet towels on the bathroom floor because she always knew that he would go at least a week without washing his underwear.
13. If YOU Talk To YOUR Ex
Ah yes, hypocritical-ness at its finest. So he doesn’t find it odd that HE still talks on a regular basis to HIS ex, but the second you bring up the fact that you happen to also be friends with your ex, his eyebrows pretty much jump off his forehead. Yes, men tend to be fairly hypocritical about this sort of stuff and suddenly feel threatened, even if he’s doing literally the same exact thing with his own ex. This could be a projection of sorts – perhaps there’s something deeper festering below the surface and he’s still in love with his former paramour and accuses you of talking to your ex because you’re still in love with him. It’s typical “hector-projector” like deflecting, and you should call him out on it quick, fast, and in a hurry.
12. Bedroom Quarks
While we tend to run to our close circle of girlfriends in order to gab about any strange quirks a man has when it comes to our bedroom activities, chances are if he’s close with his ex, she’s included in the locker-room talk with his buddies about your specific bedroom habits. BUT! Unlike the bragging-like thing he tells his male buddies, he goes to his ex if he believes you have a quirk that he finds either interesting or off-putting in order to get her opinion on it. This is because she’s in-the-know about how he behaved in the bedroom, so she can either give him honest feedback or tell him to STFU and appreciate that he even managed to find someone else to put up with him (totally something I would say, honestly).
11. An Embarrassing Tidbit From Your Past
So you confided in your new boyfriend and told him a secret tidbit from your past. Depending on the nature of the secret, or even embarrassing moment, he’s told his ex about it. BUT! He doesn’t tell her outright, and chances are he exposes it in a moment of weakness if he’s angry about something you’ve done and he suddenly gets defensive and it slips out during his weekly chat with the ex. If she’s a good person, she immediately calls him out for spilling the secret and will make him feel personally guilty about being a freaking gossiping Regina George-like villain. ESPECIALLY if you specifically asked him not to say anything to anyone. If you discovered that he actually spilled the beans to his ex, even if it was during a moment where he was upset with you, you have to ask yourself WHY he would run to her in order to spill that specific sort of info.
10. If You’re a Stage-5 Clinger
Now, you had to see this coming if you’re one of those clingy, obsessive-like new girlfriends. If you’re literally a guy’s worst nightmare when it comes to needing to be around him every second of every day, fret over his text messages, emails, and even stalks the social media of every single one of his friends. If you happen to be a girl like this, yes, he’s told his ex about you – or, rather, complained to his ex about you. And yes, you know of this and are completely and utterly jealous of her and have stalked her social media accounts on more than one occasion. If this is one of the things he’s complained about to his ex, chances are you won’t be around for very much longer. He may even be using you as a rebound and is now regretting it, which is why he went to unload on his ex in the first place.
9. If You Hate a Movie (Or TV Show) He Happens To Love
“SHE THOUGHT BREAKING BAD WAS BORING!!” you can hear him saying in your head as you watch him text out, what appears to be, a scathing review of YOUR review of what he considers his favorite movie or favorite show. If this is the case, in the heat of the moment he’s probably analyzing all your specific tastes up until that point and wondering if you two have anything in common. Think Stranger Things was simply “meh”? Oh, his ex knows and she had to listen to him rant about it for at least 20 minutes last Friday night in a beer haze. Did you think that documentary he made you watch with him was cheesy? Oh, she knows, and she’s received angry, all-caps text messages about it from him. Hey, your tastes are your tastes and if you don’t like something, you shouldn’t be afraid to voice it out loud.
8. Intelligence Level
There’s no stopping this one: if you’re either a super intelligent Electrical Engineer who does work for NASA and went to Harvard or you’re an airhead who supposedly only dates men depending on their wallet size, he’s told his ex about it. Usually, I only bring up intellect when I’m talking to my ex if the person I’m currently dating is incredibly intelligent (my ex tends to make fun of me if he finds out I’m only dating, what I consider, “boy-toys” who I’m only with for looks purposes – hey, if men can do it, so can women) and chances are the fella your with does the same thing. There’s something about freakishly brilliant people that brings out the bragger in most people, and if you happen to be a woman like that, he is definitely going to brag about it to his ex.
7. Your Politics
This past presidential election has changed the dating field forever, if you couldn’t already tell. An article went viral a few weeks ago, talking about a conservative, Trump-voting man who finds it difficult to date women because they keep leaving in the middle of the date once he admits that he voted for Trump in the 2016 election. Yes, it’s a thing now and our country is greatly divided in the most unusual ways. And yes, he’s told his ex actually who you voted for (either in a positive or negative light) because politics have also dramatically changed the way we not only date but how we see other people as the world comes crashing around at our feet. If you react a little too calmly to the news these days and he hasn’t, then yes – the ex knows all about your politics.
6. If You’re “Too Independent”
If anything, you should be proud of this one – and so should his ex because it means he found someone who won’t put up with his crap. If he’s complained to his ex that you’re “too independent” sometimes, and if she’s a smart woman, she’ll say “then that means she’s too good for you if you’re complaining about it” (yes, I’ve both heard that complaint from exes and have said the exact same thing). Means you should be with a man who loves that about you – means you’re self-sufficient and don’t need him. If he wants “neediness” he should get himself a puppy because you have no time to cater to his ego. And yes, she will tell him the same thing and probably even yell at him for a little bit.
5. If You Can’t Hold Your Liquor
So you had one too many vodka tonics at the Super Bowl party and started telling anyone who would listen about how your guilty pleasure is watching Gilmore Girls before you go to bed? Yep, he told his ex that not only can you not hold your liquor, but you’re a snitch when drunk too. Men sure do complain a lot – either you can’t hold your liquor, or he shakes his head if you actually can. While I’ve never heard a dude complain that I’m able to hold my own while at the bar with my buddies, I have heard men mumble when their girlfriends can’t manage to hold her pinot-grigio like some suburban housewife. And if you’re the latter, the ex knows all about you and your white wine drinking ways. Especially if she’s a hard liquor champ.
4. Rave About Your Kindness
This is one of the good ones, ladies. Sure, we all assume that if our boyfriend is still friends with his ex, he complains about us on the negative spectrum, but in reality, if you have a great heart, he’s bragged about that more-so than any negative attributes YOU think you have when it comes to your personality. Genuinely good people are hard to come by these days, and if you happen to be one of those luminous personalities who showers everyone around you with kindness, he’s bragged about you to his ex on more than one occasion, and yes, she’s happy for him because he found someone rare that he needs to hold onto. And if you are a good person, you know that you shouldn’t be threatened by him talking to his ex.
3. If You’re More Into Sports
If he’s a sporty guy who can quote analytics and keep up with the NFL PUP list, chances are you the same type of person, because that’s some hardcore sports fandom right there. Even though it’s 2017 and there are more and more women involved in the sports world, men still seem pretty shocked when you can name the starting lineup of the Los Angeles Lakers from Game 5 of the 2002 NBA Western Conference Finals. And if you surprised him with news similar to that, then yes, he’s told his ex all about you. And yes, when I say “told” I mean bragged. It’s sad that women still have to prove themselves to some men when they claim to be sports fans and that men just can’t take their word for it. However, a decent, non-sexist man will and be constantly impressed by her sports knowledge and want to tell everyone he knows.
This goes beyond just an athletic figure (but yes, chances are he’ll tell his ex about that too since it didn’t escape his attention) but how athletic you are in general. If you typically like running 5ks every other week, it’s come up in conversation with the ex. Or if you enjoy a rousing game of recreational soccer or beach volleyball, then yes, it’s come up and the ex knows all about it. Either the boy is super proud of it, or he’s a little annoyed because it takes up most of your time, OR you make him join in himself. If the fella is a lazy couch-potato, he’s complained about it to her and if she’s a good friend, she’ll slap the crap out of him and tell him he needs more cardio in his life.
1. Religious Much?
Okay, if you and your boyfriend are both religious individuals, this will go wildly unnoticed to the outside world, but if one of you is while the other isn’t, it’ll be brought up in a topic of discussion with either his, or yours, friends. If you happen to be religious and he isn’t, he’s talked about it with other people, including his ex. Perhaps you both have contradicting beliefs, which is perfectly fine because it will help open up your eyes to different worlds in that aspect. And if you’re going to church every Sunday and he doesn’t, he’s talking to his ex that day and discussing it over with her and she’s telling him that he should probably go to experience it at least once if he does love you. Just so he can see it from your side of the spectrum. And she would be right.
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