It's no secret that some men struggle a bit in certain areas of communication. After all, it's normal. Perhaps they have a hard time finding the right words to express themselves or maybe being vulnerable scares the sh** out of them. Whatever the reason, it can be frustrating if you're dating someone who doesn't exactly wear his heart on his sleeve. You find yourself constantly wondering what he's thinking, paranoid that you might've done something wrong, and even worry that he doesn't care about you the same way you care about him. And, no matter what you do, it never gets easier to connect with him. Long story short: It drives you insane. The only thing you want is to be able to get inside of that head of his. Don't worry, we completely understand and that's why we're here to help. Read below to find out fifteen things guys think but would never say.
15 How Scared He Is
Just like you, he is scared of the future. He doesn't like not knowing what is in store for you, him, and the relationship the two of you have spent so much time building. He is scared that he is not going to make you happy in all the same ways that you make him happy, that he is eventually going to fall short. He is scared he will never be able to provide for you all the things that you deserve, that maybe he won't be as successful or smart as he wishes he was. He is scared his career won't take off, that he will never reach his full potential. He is scared you'll meet someone else that's better suited for you, that you'll leave him behind. He's scared to let you know that he's scared because admitting it is like admitting he's not the confident person he pretends to be.
14 How Much He Loves You
We know: This one sounds crazy. Why wouldn't someone let you know how in love with you they are if they are madly in love with you and you are madly in love with them? Well, there are a couple reasons why this might happen. First of all, if he admits to you how much he's in love with you, it makes him extremely vulnerable. Why? Because handing your heart to someone else is basically like asking them to keep it safe for you instead of keeping it safe yourself. It opens him up to being taken advantage of and hurt by you. Second of all, if he doesn't love himself, he might not fully believe you when you tell him just how much you care about him. Therefore, he might've convinced himself that he cares for you way more than you care for him and doesn't want to embarrass himself.
13 How Beautiful He Thinks You Are
He does. Even if he doesn't say it, he thinks you're beautiful all the time. He thinks you're beautiful without makeup on. He thinks you're beautiful when you come home from a long day of work completely exhausted. He thinks you're beautiful when you're sleeping. He thinks you're beautiful after a long, sweaty workout. He thinks you're beautiful when you're crying when you're angry when you're happy. He thinks you look just as beautiful when you "don't try" as when you put a days worth of effort into your appearance. He thinks your struggles are beautiful, your strengths are beautiful, and your downfalls are beautiful. He loves your quirks and all the things that make you unique. Why he doesn't tell you constantly is a mystery that we've been trying to solve for years. But maybe, it's because saying, "You're the most beautiful woman in the world," doesn't even begin to do you justice.
12 How Much You Intimidate Him
No matter how much he may act like you don't constantly impress him, you do. He is intimidated by how strong you are in both the workplace and your every day life, by the struggles that you've had to overcome. He's intimidated by your past, by men that've come before him. Heck, he's even intimidated by your future, of men that may come after him. He's intimidated by how open you can be, by how easy it is for you to talk about your feelings and let people in. He's intimidated by how smart you are, how you can do just about anything you set your mind to. Of course, he loves that he's intimidated by you. After all, if he wasn't in constant awe of you, he'd be bored. Still, he'll never admit it as he doesn't want you to know he thinks you're way out of his league.
11 The Other Women He Thinks About
Unfortunately, this one is not as happy as all the rest. If you are in a hard place in your relationship, recently just started dating someone, or tend to go for the "player" type, there is a high probability he is still thinking about other women. Perhaps he can't get an ex off of his mind. Or, maybe he has a crush on his best girl friend or someone he knows at work. Whoever it is, he is keeping his options open. He does not wake up every day and only think about you. He' is not allowing himself to commit to you because there are other women besides you that preoccupy his fantasies and heart. Of course, that's not to say things won't ever change or that he won't eventually commit fully to you. That's just to say that he hasn't yet, that you're not the only one on his mind.
10 How Much He Worries
He worries about money. He worries about your well-being. He worries about the clothes he wears, the way he smells and his appearance. He worries about his family, about his job, and about his friends. He worries about the problems of the world. He worries about his weekend plans and about distant future plans. He worries about what people think of him and if he is a good person. He even goes so far as worrying about the fact that he worries so much. Like you, he can be a bit neurotic. However, unlike you, he doesn't let that be known. Instead, he just acts cool as a cucumber and pretends that he's stress-free. Why? Because if he were to admit all the things that plague his mind, they'd become real. So, he just does whatever he can to convince both you and himself that there's nothing to worry about.
9 How Insecure He Is
He would rather do just about anything before he lets you know just how insecure he is. In fact, he would probably prefer getting stitches than letting you in on his little secret- that he is not as confident as he spends his whole life pretending to be. He is insecure about his body. He has doubts that you find him as sexy as he wants you to, that he is not as muscular or tall or as good looking as the next guy. He is insecure about his brains. He is terrified he is not as smart, talented, or even as hardworking as he should be. He is even insecure about what everyone around him thinks about him. He struggles in his friendships, in his relationships with his family members, and even in his relationship with you. Even if he plays it cool on the outside, he is conflicted on the inside.
8 How Much It Bothers Him When You Get Insecure
We know: This is a bit hypocritical of him, but it is true. It drives him crazy when you get insecure, especially in the relationship. Why? He tells you everyday how much he loves you and enjoys being with you. Still, for one reason or another, you are constantly doubting his affections towards you and do not fully trust him. Even if he has never done anything to make you doubt him, you never allow yourself to believe him. Because he knows you, he does not get angry at you for being insecure as he knows that wouldn't help anything. However, he is sick and tired of spending hours every week trying to convince you of something that you are not going to even let yourself truly hear. He would rather just enjoy his time with you and show you how much he cares for you rather than get in repetitive arguments with you.
7 How Much He Loves Your Curves
You're feeling badly about yourself. You haven't made enough time to get to the gym regularly and definitely haven't been as strict with your diet as you usually are. You've been eating junk food and downing bottles of wine. So, you've gained a few pounds. Your clothes are tight, your face feels swollen, and you even have a little bit of cellulite. In reality, you look fine but for you, it seems like the end of the world and the last thing you feel is sexy. However, he couldn't care less. In fact, he likes the weight you've put on. Why? He's got a little more to grab on. He loves that certain areas of you have gotten more full and that your behind pokes out of your jeans more than it did when he first met you. He thinks you're sexy anyway you come, especially when there's a little more of you for him to love.
6 How He Likes A Little Jealousy From Time To Time
Now, we're not saying that he likes it when you get insecure and start doubting that he cares for you the way he does, all we're saying is that from time to time, he likes a little jealousy. For example, if he's talking to a girl at some party and you get on edge about it, he secretly enjoys it. Why? Because it makes him feel cared about. Every guy wants to feel wanted and when you're possessive of him, he likes that. To him, it feels as though you're scared of losing him to someone else since you love him so much. On top of that, he likes it when you make him a little jealous. He loves knowing that the girl he's with is desired by all men, that he's got some sort of "prize." Why? It makes him feel more special. After all, you could've had anyone and you chose him.
5 How Much He Hates Your Friends
First off, this isn't all guys. This is for the select few that have girlfriends with possessive best friends. If your boyfriend has great relationships with your friends, that's awesome. However, some men can't stand that one friend of yours who's entirely unsupportive of the relationship. You know exactly who we mean - the friend who's either jealous of what you two have and wants to break you up or the friend who's jealous of your boyfriend because he's monopolizing your time. To you, it's harmless. To your boyfriend, on the other hand, it's the most annoying thing in the world. Of course, he'd never come out and say he has resentment towards your friend. After all, he knows how much he/she means to you. Still, he hates it when he/she butts into your guy's relationship or tries to convince you to break up with him or that he's not right for you.
4 How Scared He Is Of Your Father
What's every guy's worst nightmare? His girlfriend or wife's father. Why? Because not only does her father set the standard for the men in her life, but he's most likely extremely overprotective of his daughter. On top of that, when put between choosing her father or her boyfriend, most women would trust the opinions of their father's first. Therefore, you can understand why your boyfriend may feel a bit intimidated by your father. Of course, he'd never come out and admit, "I really want your father to like and respect me and I'll be upset if he doesn't," but that's exactly how he feels on the inside. The first time he met your father, he was probably shaking at the knees and every time he's been around him since then, he's been extremely anxious. No matter how close he may seem to be with your father, there's still a part of him that's terrified.
3 How Often He Thinks Of It
Whether you have a healthy personal life with him or if you're not doing it at all, he still thinks about it way more than you do. In fact, there are scientific studies done that prove just how often men think about it because it's such a big phenomena. Of course, it's not always on purpose- it just happens to him as it has since he was an adolescent. He thinks about it at work, he thinks about it before he goes to bed, while he's sleeping when he wakes up in the morning and even while he's at the gym. You name the time, he can think about it. At this point in his life, he's probably so used to it that it hardly even phases him. Still, he'd never truly admit to you just how often this topic crosses his mind. If he did, you'd wouldn't have any time to talk about anything else.
2 How Much Support He Needs
Just like you, he's a human being with wants and needs. As we've said before, he's anxious, he's uptight, he worries, and he's insecure. He has his own demons that cloud his mind and judgment. Therefore, like you, he needs support. However, unlike you, he has a hard time asking for it. For some reason, he's hesitant to come out and ask you to be there for him, to console him, to make him feel better, or to calm him down. Even if he needs it more than anything, he's scared to go out on a limb and ask for your help. Of course, it's not your job to be a mind reader and hopefully, he'll become a better communicator in time. In the meantime, though, do your best to pick up on various times when you think he might need a little boost from you. Trust us, it's an opportunity to get closer to him that you don't want to miss out on.
1 How Much He Hates It When You Spend His Money
Even if he's made of money, he didn't start saving or work his a** off so that he could blow all of his cash on you. From time to time, he really enjoys spending money on you and loves treating you well. However, when you expect that he spoils you with fancy dinners, expensive vacations, and designer gifts, it drives him up a wall. Why? Because it makes him feel unappreciated and wonders what the reason behind why you're with him is. Of course, he'd never come out and say that to you. Why not? First of all, he likes that he has money to spend on you and doesn't want to make you feel uncomfortable when it comes to being treated nicely. Second of all, it's hard for him to say no to you. Finally, he doesn't want you to think he doesn't have enough money to spend on you or question his financial state.