We all know men and women are very different and it be incredibly frustrating knowing what exactly will and won’t please your guy when you’re with him. It’s important to remember that all men are different, and every single one of them will has his own pet peeves and his own personal likes and dislikes. However, there are certain things that a lot of men have in common, especially when it comes to what they like from their significant other.
A lot of the time, we can get so wrapped up in trying to be the perfect partner, that we actually let a lot of unwanted behaviour into the relationship. Nobody’s perfect and mistakes are bound to be made between every couple, but there are some things you can do to avoid making your man want out of the relationship. If you’ve been wondering what exactly your man is thinking and what things it is that he really doesn’t enjoy that you do, check yourself against these 15 things that he’s probably internally begging you to stop doing. Some of them might come as a complete surprise to you and some might be so obvious that you didn’t even stop to think that you might be doing them. Either way, here’s a chance to find out what you should cease doing immediately!
15. Getting Annoyed With Him Over Things That Aren’t Real
If you’ve had a dream about your man doing you dirty and then woken up and felt annoyed with him, you are not alone. Does it make it right? No. But does it happen to all of us? Definitely. Despite the “cheat dream” happening to all of us though, it’s definitely something men feel strongly about. Men are sick and tired of getting into trouble about things that happen to them in our dreams, and admittedly, it’s pretty unfair to take our anger out on our men because of something we only dreamt they did. The best way to deal with a situation like this is to tell him about your dream and then laugh about it. There’s no sense in making a big deal over something that isn’t real, no matter how realistic it may have seemed while you were asleep.
14. Asking Him Questions You Don’t Really Want Answered
Another thing that your man definitely wants you to stop doing is setting him up with questions that don’t have right answers. There really is no point in asking your man difficult questions that will never have an answer that makes you happy, unless, that is, if you are indeed looking for a fight. Asking him questions like if he thinks another girl is pretty or if he thinks about his ex will only make you mad. If you know the answer he’s probably going to give is going to make you upset, then don’t ask the question. So many arguments could be avoided by just not treading into this dangerous question territory, so if you want to keep the peace, play nice and don’t set him for an inevitable fall. Sometimes asking is just asking for trouble.
13. Dumbing Yourself Down
One of the most attractive qualities any woman can possess is intelligence. That’s not to say you have to be a rocket scientist to get him to like you, but exhibiting your smarts is a sure fire way to get him interested in you and make him want to spend time with you. It’s a tragic myth that men want to be with dumbed-down women, and unfortunately a lot of gals out there still think that by bigging up their man’s brains and belittling their own, somehow it’ll make their man think they’re more attractive. No good man wants to feel like he’s dating a child, so why make yourself seem like one by toning down your smarts? Making yourself submissive to his manhood through faking a lack of intelligence is an insult to yourself and to womankind as a whole. Flaunt those brains and wow him with your knowledge – you’ll have a lot more success with your man if you do.
12. Saying You’re Not Like Most Girls (When You Definitely Are)
Oh my, this one must be the biggest no-no in the book. If there’s one lesson all women should learn, it’s to stop using the worn-out phrase “I’m not like most girls.” Unless you hate all of womankind and are ashamed to be female, there is no reason to utter this nonsensical saying. You might think guys want to hear that you’re somehow different from all the other women he’s met, but honestly they’re tired of hearing it. In saying you’re “not like most girls,” you’re implying that you’re better than all other women, and that the other women he’s encountered aren’t beautiful, smart, funny, etc. Embrace the sisterhood and throw out that silly phrase immediately. You should be loud and proud of being a woman and embrace all of the incredible women who are out there living their lives. Stop distancing yourself from your sisters and cut the comparisons. In the words of Hailee Steinfeld, “Most girls are smart and strong and beautiful. I wanna be like, I wanna be like, most girls.”
11. Surprisingly He Hates When You’re Mean To Other Girls
It’s a sad fact that a lot of the time, women aren’t always nice to other women. Despite all of us wanting to uphold the sisterhood of womankind, we often find ourselves swayed by jealousy, judgemental behaviour, and suspicion. While it’s natural for us not to like everybody we come into contact with and perfectly normal to know a number of women we don’t particularly like, taking action on our feelings or going out of our way to badmouth other women is actually something that bugs a lot of guys. Being negative in general is a major turn-off, and being negative towards people of our same gender is also unappealing for men. When we talk badly about other women or act mean towards one another, it sends a message that we’re petty, angry, and don’t get along with others. So even if you hate another girl, keep your thoughts to yourself.
10. Getting Mad Because He Thinks Other Girls Are Hot
You may not want to hear this, but all guys look at other girls. That’s not to say they act on any thoughts they may have when seeing an attractive woman, but just as you may notice when a hot guy walks past, so too do men take note when they spot someone good looking. It’s never a good feeling when you’re with your man and he noticeably checks out another girl, and frankly you shouldn’t have to put up with that kind of disrespectful behaviour. But if your man makes a comment about another woman looking good, don’t jump to the conclusion that he thinks she’s better looking than you or that suddenly he’s not attracted to you anymore. Guys like it when their partners can take compliments about other women without it becoming an argument. There’s a difference between making an objective comment about someone and wanting to cheat with that person, so keep that in mind when your man makes an innocent comment about another woman.
9. Asking Him If You Look Fat
It happens to all of us – those days when we feel ugly and fat and we can’t quite seem to feel happy with anything we wear. And while it might be tempting to ask your man if he thinks you look fat with the hopes of hearing “No sweetie, you look great,” the truth is, asking this loaded question will never make us happy. If he answers “no”, you’re likely to accuse him of lying. If he answers “yes”, well it will only end in tears, hurt feelings, and potentially even a sudden breakup. Men like seeing their partners be confident and secure in their self-worth. Asking him if you look fat shows him that you’re lacking in self-confidence and puts him in an awkward position. To be honest, your man probably wouldn’t have even noticed if you were looking a little bloated or had put on a few pounds, but by drawing his attention to that fact, you’re only making the situation worse. In the future, keep those thoughts to yourself. This is one question that definitely doesn’t need to be asked.
8. Patronizing Him and Making Him Feel Super Dumb
Depending on what type of guy your man is, it may be rare for him to open up and express his innermost feelings with you. If your man does decide to expose his more vulnerable side to you though, the last thing he wants you to do is act patronizing and give him an “Awww” or a “That’s so cute/sweet.” Just like you wouldn’t want to be patronized for the things you say, neither does your guy. Serving up patronizing comments will only put him off of opening up to you in the future, so remember to not take this approach when he speaks to you. Often just being a good listener is all guys really want from their partner, so instead of treating him like a cute toddler, just be there as a shoulder to lean on. And if you do decide to chip in with a response, make it a fair, understanding, thoughtful reply, not a dismissive, patronizing retort.
7. Holding Grudges Over Petty Things
Here’s a great but simple tip that will ensure happiness between you and your partner: if a fight is over, let it go. That’s right, just let it go. If you and your partner have had a fight or a disagreement and you’ve both made your apologies, there is absolutely no reason to keep ahold of the anger or resentment you might be feeling. In doing so, you’re basically negating all of the constructive work you did in saying sorry to each other, and by ignoring your apologies, you’ll end up making it more difficult in the future to settle disagreements. If you feel like a fight isn’t over, keep saying whatever it is that you think needs saying. But don’t wait until things have been settled to dish more anger out, and don’t bring up old fights when you’ve already moved forward.
6. Asking What He’s Thinking About When He’s Quiet
Everybody needs some quiet time once in awhile and just because your man has gone silent for a bit, doesn’t mean he’s facing some kind of existential crisis or that he’s contemplating anything that’s related to you. Chances are, when your man goes quiet, he’s thinking about everyday things, like what he wants for dinner, or when he’s going to squeeze in some time playing his favourite game. Asking your man what he’s thinking about suddenly puts pressure on him to give you a good answer or an answer he think you might want to hear. Generally your guy will just say “nothing” as a response, but you’re likely to get annoyed with that answer. Usually if a man replies with “I don’t know” or “nothing,” it often sparks an argument and accusations that he’s avoiding the question. When you ask him what’s on his mind, you’re probably just trying to figure out what’s going on with him, but ease up on this particular question – every guy needs his space.
5. Thinking He’s Always Up To No Good With Everything That He Does
Assuming your man is up to no good when he’s not with you is something all men want you to stop doing immediately. If you’re in a healthy, loving relationship, there’s no reason to think your man is out there doing you dirty, so have a little faith and trust him when he goes out with his friends or spends time alone. Always wondering if he’s cheating on you or doing things he shouldn’t be doing shows that you’re insecure and also proves that you don’t believe in the strength of your relationship. Your man wants to know that you trust him so unless you have good reason to believe he’s doing you wrong, don’t jump to unfounded conclusions. If you have trust issues with your guy, talk them out with him and approach this issue with an open mind and an open heart. There’s a very good chance you’ve got nothing to worry about, so ease up on the suspicious mind and let him believe in the trust you have in him.
4. Being Passive Aggressive On Purpose Just To Prove a Point
We’ve all been guilty of acting passive aggressive at one point or another, but if you’re constantly reverting back to this behaviour with your guy, it’s time to cut it out. No man appreciates being given the passive aggressive treatment, and rarely does it help resolve any situation or issue you two might be having. Communication is so important in a relationship, and if couples learnt to voice their opinions and their worries openly, there would probably be a lot fewer arguments. If you’re unhappy with your man about something, tell him. Dropping hints or leaving passive aggressive notes and texts only serve to antagonize an already bad situation. Problems should be dealt with actively, not passively, and your man will appreciate you just coming out and telling him whatever it is that you have an issue with.
3. Criticizing His Fashion Choices
A lot of women go into relationships wanting to change an aspect of their man, and a lot of times this thing can be the way their guy dresses. Women often have an idea of how they’d like their guy to dress and will be keen to try and push a certain style on him. Most guys choose their clothes for one very simple reason – because they like them. And if they like something, they’re going to wear it. Men don’t want you pushing your fashion choices on them, and by criticizing what they’re wearing, you’re criticizing them. Fashion is very much an expression of one’s personality, and just because you don’t like that t-shirt he always wears or that old pair of jeans that seem to be his favourite, it doesn’t give you the right to swoop in and try and change him. Of course, you can make suggestions about what clothes might look nice on him, but never do so in an aggressive or critical way. Let your man be himself just as you want to be yourself. It wouldn’t feel nice if he were constantly critiquing your clothing choices, so don’t do it to him either.
2. Scolding Him And Acting Like His Parent
No one likes being told off, especially when it’s by your significant other. Men hate it when their partner incessantly has a go at them and they can often feel more like they’re in a relationship with one of their parents rather than their romantic partner. It can be difficult sometimes suppressing our annoyances that we have with our partner, but it’s important to remember not to nag or scold too much. Chances are, you don’t enjoy behaving like someone he’d compare to his mother, so why do it? There are much more constructive ways of communicating than telling someone off or yelling at them, so try and find outlets for your frustration that don’t entail exploding at him or being verbally aggressive. Being your man’s mommy is not your job, so leave the telling off for someone else.
1. Hitting Him, Even In A Jokey Way
It may come as a surprise to you, but guys don’t actually like being hit. Shocking, right? Just like you probably don’t like being slapped or hit, your man isn’t into being physically hurt either. Even when you’re joking or not meaning it to be taken as a mean action, hitting or striking your guy will make him register the fact that you’re using violence in your communication , and he’ll probably end up feeling a little intimidated and confused if you do it too often. You might think it’s ok because he’s bigger than you and you might assume that your light hitting won’t hurt him, but even if it doesn’t do physical harm, it can definitely cause psychological damage. If you don’t think it’s right for men to hit women, then why do it back? Getting rid of these double standards will make your relationship happier and stronger in the long run.
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