There’s nothing more complicated on the face of this earth than attempting to understand the concept of being in love. What we do know is that the feeling can be leg-sweeping and turn our entire world upside down and inside out. The feeling can make you feel both vulnerable and strong at the same time, which is, more often than not, quite scary. Whenever we hop into a brand new relationship, we tend to over think and over analyze every tiny thing out of fear. It’s actually the same we do when we’re in a long-term relationship as well. We start to want to know where the relationship is going: is he going to propose? Does he even want to get married? All those types of questions we find ourselves agonizing over.
When he actually is ready to take that next step in life, there are usually signs he’s about to pop the question. Men usually are pretty easy to read in that respect. If you’re in a healthy relationship and are deeply in love, it’s hard to refute that your significant other is thinking about it more and more with each passing day. Here are some ways he’s looking to wife you up and some that scream “he’s about ready to run for the hills.”
20 He Talks About Moving In... A LOT
This can be scary to think about at first, especially if you’ve never lived with another one of your boyfriends before. Heck, if you have never lived with anyone else other than your parents and/or siblings before. Basically living with your significant other is a trial run of what a life together would look like. When you move together, it’s basically a beta test of your future.
If you’re a couple in love and he starts hinting that he’s ready to move in together, chances are he’s thinking about marriage later down the line.
It usually is a huge step for men if they’re ready to shack up together with their girlfriend. It means he’s comfortable giving up his personal space to you, space that he considered sacred at a point in his life. Sure, he probably was messy as heck and moving in with you was an added bonus of the apartment or house smelling like you were opening a Bath & Body Works. Of course, moving in together also means that your temper is going to get tested a lot, especially if he IS messy, and he’s usually watching how you react in different scenarios that test your patience.
19 He’s Dropping Jokes About A Wedding Ring
There are some of us who dream about the perfect wedding: the dress, the bridal party, the flowers, that sort of thing. And then there are those of us who dream about the perfect ring. If we’re in a serious relationship with dreams of a marriage, of COURSE, we’re thinking about the perfect ring (the perfect ring for us, that is). Usually, in situations like being in a long-term relationship, we’ll tell our closest friends about our dream ring in hopes that our boyfriend is wise enough to seek out our preference through them.
Usually, if a man has marriage on the mind, he’ll crack jokes about it. This is basically projecting his own thoughts on the subject. If he’s joking about it, he’s thinking about it. And if he’s joking about the wedding ring, he’s fishing for information he doesn’t have yet. You can always joke back with him while being serious (if it is truly about the ring). The key to this is finding out your ring size. He might do this by kidding around, or heck, even going to nab one of the rings you commonly wear.
“The Jewelry store isn’t your typical date night,” Brides.com says. “But if your significant other is happy to go into a jewelry with you or if you notice one of your rings goes missing, he or she might be trying to figure out the measurements for your ring finger.”
18 He’s Talking About Future Plans… Like 10 Years Into The Future Plans
This is a big one. Usually, when you started dating, he wasn’t talking all that much about future plans except what you two would be doing a couple weekends from now. But now, he’s talking about the future at a non-stop right. Not one year from now, not two, but way, way down the line.
“If your guy starts, referring to the way distant future a lot, he may secretly be looking for affirmation that you see a way distant future with him,” Michele Velazquez, an owner of a proposal planning service says.
“If you want him to propose, reinforce you feel the same way.”
If he’s doing such talking, mirror it right back to him if you truly can see a future with this person in your life. This is especially the case if you can picture yourself having children with him and/or growing old together. Is this the type of guy you can see in rocking chairs with on a porch overlooking some beach when you’re in your old age? And if it is, start throwing that scenario right back at him. Because if you can see a solid future with this person, there should be nothing holding the two of you back.
17 He Comments On How You’ll Make A Great Mother
His eyes often light up whenever he talks about his little nieces and nephews and whenever he sees you around kids, he always seems to gush out loud about how you’d make an extremely excellent mother. This usually catches you off guard because, partly, it’s never been discussed before. When he starts talking about your hypothetical future offspring, he is picturing a long-term life with you. Children are the biggest commitment anyone can ever make and if your partner starts getting all glossy-eyed and making subtle remarks like “you’d make a wonderful mother” when he sees you around children, he means he can see you as the mother of HIS children.
Raising kids is no laughing matter, and if he’s dropping hints that perhaps he’s ready to start a family, it’s a big deal. Usually, women are born with maternal instincts (some of are, not all women and that’s perfectly okay, duh) and men often think that women about worried about our “biological clock” when it comes to having our own children. So for a man to start dropping hints that he wants to start a family, you’re looking at a future together. Men who say stuff like this usually make the best types of fathers.
16 Joint Checking Account And Happy About It? Whoa
Money can usually make or break a couple, whether they want to admit it or not. Controlling finances is a delicate balance within a partnership, and it usually doesn’t come up unless you’re a serious couple planning on taking the leap. But you have yet to get engaged and your boyfriend brings up starting a joint checking account, it’s a HUGE sign that he’s looking to get married. You don’t start up an account together unless you truly trust the person you’re with and planning on spending the rest of your life with them. After this is been brought up, another big sign that he’s about to propose that revolves around money is that he’s starting to save up.
“If your usual care-free spending guy starts penny-pinching, he may be saving up for your engagement ring,” Velazquez goes on to say.
“Pretend to not notice or encourage this behavior, and it will benefit you if you want a proposal.”
If you’re aware of his income and he starts holding back when it comes to spending, it’s a sign that there are wedding bells in the near future… or maybe student loans just finally got him in a choke hold (as they tend to do… sheesh).
15 Your Friends Who Were Iffy About Him Even Comment On The Way He Looks At You
One big step in any new relationship is introducing your new guy to your close-knit circle of friends. If you’re anything like me, you titter on dying for their approval of your new relationship, to saying you don’t really care out loud (but of course you do). Close friends tend to be overprotective, especially if you’re just starting out in a new relationship, and are more often than not play the “you’re too good for him” card no matter who you bring around. But the more they get used to him being in the picture, the more they begin to warm up and even become friends with him.
A true sign that something is up is if your friends start making comments about him NOT being around and act all giggly when you bring him up in conversation. This means that not only are they up to something, but he is too. Your friends are the key to him figuring out the best way to propose since they know you best. Chances are, he’s even asked for your best friend’s advice on what ring to get and he’s even taken her along to go ring shopping with him (take note men, this is usually a bulletproof tactic).
14 The Man Is Super Traditional
We see these types of men out in the wild from time to time: the super traditional type, who is looking to fall in love, get married and start a family. Men like these seem to be going extinct (mainly because women no longer feel they need to get married and start a family to be happy – and more power to us too!) but they still are out there. Usually, if you’re dating a traditional type of guy and you’re in a long-term relationship with him, he’s already known he’s going to marry you from your first date, so it’s only a matter of time.
This is especially the case if his parents are still married to each other themselves.
He takes pride in their lasting relationship and pictures the same for you and him. Even if his parents are divorced and he’s a traditionalist, he wants to make sure that the same thing won’t happen to your relationship, which is why he’s taking his time (and you should always let him take his time in this case – it’s never best to push it. The best things take time). And usually, the traditional guys are the ones who go all out when proposing marriage.
13 He’s Never Once Called You “Controlling”
You’ve dated guys like this: the big headed ones who tend to have a go-to insult line when he’s trying to make you mad or upset you in a fight. And with most insults, that tends to be “stop being so controlling”. What does that even mean?? All you asked is if he’d do the dishes one night or pick up those dang socks he keeps leaving on the ground. Usually, if they pull out this line, they’re trying to get out of something that they’re too lazy to do, or that they themselves are a controlling partner and are just projecting.
Guys can be easy to read this way, but the genuine ones usually don’t try to pull this wordplay nonsense. And these are the types of guys who are looking to wife you up in the near future. They’re the ones who aren’t interested in playing games in a relationship and see you for who you are. The only times he calls you controlling is in a nightmare you once had where you woke up all confused at why you were suddenly angry with him. If a guy isn’t interested in playing these sorts of games and has never once used that word with you, he’s taking you seriously as a girlfriend and is looking to build a future with you.
12 It’s Never “I” But Always “We” With Him
Ah, the first time the word “we” is dropped in a relationship could be a moment of startling wonder. It feels so very new and strange but in the best way possible. The word, if you’ve never been in a committed relationship before, feels somewhat foreign on your tongue. It’s so much different than “I” – “It’s at eight right? We’ll be there around that time then!”
It’s not that you’re losing your own identity, but it’s more like the merging of two separate powers.
And you noticed that while it took you a little bit to get used to the word, he didn’t take him long at all. It’s not that he’s been in and out of relationships his entire dating life, it’s that it just finally feels natural, and you know what? You feel the same way.
A guy who always uses this term in your relationship is already committed to you permanently in his mind and is already thinking about taking that next huge step. And this is especially the case if he started using the word right from the get-go. You can be sure that the next word you’ll have to get used to is “husband” and if he wants to start a family “mom”.
11 All His Besties Are Married
There are a ton of things that go through a man’s head if all his best friends are flying the coop and getting engaged to be married. At first, guys who aren’t engaged themselves begin to freak out that “another one has bitten the dust” but then you can actually see them start to warm up.
“It’s all a part of “growing up,” and – whether you like it or not – you’ll be forced to keep up or risk getting left behind,” writer Dan Scotti of Elite Daily says. “Although, this doesn’t make it any easier to accept the fact that you’re growing old – and watching all of your friends grow old with you doesn’t always help either.”
This is sometimes the case if you’re in a long-term relationship with a guy and all his friends have tied the knot. He starts thinking about his own mortality. Yes, I know, this is not the most romantic thing to talk about in the world. It’s not just that – he’s starting to see how happy his own buddies are in their marriages and he starts to make the association. It sometimes takes a bit for a man to realize he’s ready to take that next step in life and “bite the dust” as he likes to joke about. He doesn’t want to get left behind.
10 He Knows How To Handle Your Crazy And… Hark! Doesn’t Mind It
Okay, yes, we all have to admit it at one point – we have a crazy side. Sure, no woman really wants to admit it outright, but we reserve the right to let go of our crazy here and there in our lives. Especially if we lead hectic and busy lives. Unleashing a little bit of our crazy helps keep us, well, sane.
And we know we’ve found “the one” when the guy we’re seeing not only is familiar with our crazy sides but knows out to “handle” it properly.
He shows this by knowing exactly what is causing our crazy. He knows when to leave us alone, when we need a hug, and when to just give us chocolate and get the heck out of dodge.
When you’re in a new relationship, there’s a part of you that’s a little freaked out about unleashing the crazy on him (even if it’s not that crazy – maybe it’s just a little temperamental change when that time of the month comes around) but if he is really in love with you, he’ll know how to handle it like a champion. He has your patterns down flat and knows how to deal with any of your crises. A man who is in it for the short term would not pay that much attention to your mood patterns.
9 His Family Adores You And Starts Hanging Out With You More
You’ve been together for a while now and the question is popped: “Will you meet my parents?” Sure, that could make you sweat hardcore just thinking about it, but it also means something else.
“Whilst a man’s friends might be some of the most important people in his life, there are certain people who are even more important, and that’s his parents,” the website Language of Desires says. “A man would never introduce a fling to his mother, nor would he introduce a girl who he didn’t see as future wife material. So if you have met his parents or he is arranging a meet-up, then you can rest assured that he is not only serious about you, but he can also see a future between you too.”
And now that you’ve met them and everything has been cordial up until this point. Now, his family is acting differently toward you – they want to spend way more time with you and you’ve become close without really realizing it. Heck, his mom texts you for clothing advice. And the thing is, he’s all okay with it. That really only means one thing – they know something you don’t. And trust us, it isn’t bad.
8 You’re Included In All His Major Decision Making
When you first started dating, you both managed to keep separate lives from each other (especially if you’re an independent woman who lived life on her own terms). But now, things are changing and he’s starting to include you in some major life decisions on his part. In the past, if he was considering a major career shift in his life, he wouldn’t consult you and you wouldn’t pester him. But now, he’s asking for your advice on major career changes because, like a job change, you’re included in his future plans.
If he is starting to include you in every long-term decision that’s placed in front of him, that is a definite sign that he’s looking to include you in his life – permanently.
No man who only sees a woman as a short-term girlfriend will include her in his own major life decisions, because chances are, she’s one of the major decisions. When he asks for your advice on something so big, he knows that it’s because the decision is going to affect both of you later down the line.
Trust me, there are definitely major life decision coming up in your future if your boyfriend feels this way about you and includes you in all his decision making in his life.
7 No More Games, No Ma’am
You watch your friends in their relationships and there’s always constant games going on. Usually, if you’re in a young relationship, that’s extremely common. Heck, it’s even common in older relationships, you know, if one of the people in the relationship tends to be a tad immature.
“Sometimes men play games to keep people at arm’s reach,” The Language of Desires says. “This is because they don’t want the girl to get too attached or they don’t want to get attached to the girl. It’s kind of like their inbuilt defense system, which keeps them safe from getting hurt.”
However, if he’s planning on popping the question in the near future, those games never even enter his mind. “The thing is though, that if a man is serious about a girl, then he wouldn’t dream of playing games with her. In fact, he will do everything he can to prove that he is serious and that his feelings are straightforward about her. If your man used to play games but has since stopped, or has never played games with you, then you know he is serious about both you and your future together.”
Basically, the games life is far behind him. Once he finds the woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with, he starts changing his way for the better. He’s no longer 15 anymore so those games just won’t fly.
6 He Accepts You For You, And Let’s You Know It
Deep down inside, you know when a person if perfect for you and they’re the one you’re supposed to be with, especially if they accept you for who you are and don’t want to change you because chances are, he feels the exact same way about you.
“When you listen to your heart, you’ll feel whether or not the person you’re dating is right for you,” relationship experts said in Business Insider.
“This is known as ‘intuition’ – your heart’s message to you. Almost everyone can think back and recall a time when they didn’t listen to it. When you feel good, feel that your partner is patient and true, treats you the same in public as he does at home, then you’re on the right path. Keep in mind that your intuition may send out a warning as well. It may come as a gut reaction. For example, if your partner wants to change you in any way. He is not accepting you for who you are. If that happens, run.”
However, if he is firmly set that he loves you FOR YOU, you know you’ve found “the one” and that he has thoughts of marriage on his mind as well. If he loves you and all the crazy you manage to burst out at random moments, there’s a ring in your future.
5 Signs He'll Never See You As His Wifey:
5 Short-Term, Short-Term, Everything Is Short-Term
There are a lot of giant red flags that can scream to a woman “GET OUT!” when she’s in a relationship with a guy who has no interest in marriage or even being in a long-term relationship. And one of them is that he never plans for more than a couple days into the future. Chances are, you’ve been dating for a while now, the only future he commits to is reserving a table at a restaurant for Thursday night on a Tuesday night.
“If he’s serious, he’ll talk about it,” Elite Daily relationship experts say when it comes to talking about the future with him. “Therefore, you’ll likely know it before you have to ask. “A guy who sees something long term will talk about making future plans – even insignificant ones. For example, you guys might have missed a festival in town that you both wanted to go to. If he says that you two should put the dates on your calendars for next year so you can plan it out better, that shows he’s committed.”
Chances are if he never brings it up, a future with you isn’t really on his mind, especially if he’s only a day-to-day sort of guy.
4 He’s “Too Stressed” To Talk About The Future
So maybe you’ve asked him a few times about where it’s going between you two as far as a future goes? What’s his response? If it is constantly “I’m too stressed to talk about this right now” something is afoot. ESPECIALLY if he doesn’t have a stressful job or personal life. If he’s constantly using this excuse, he’s not looking for anything long-term and he really has no interest in including you in any future plans of his.
If a man is ready to talk about the future and actually sees you in it, he wouldn’t hesitate to sit down and tell you how things are and if he does see a life with you.
There are many causes of stress, and while yes, a relationship can be one of them, it shouldn’t be coming up as a factor if you haven’t been in a relationship for very long. Usually, if a man is stressed out about work and/or his life outside of work, he’ll want to share it with the person he wants to spend the rest of his life with because they will be the person who will help them in the long run. If he’s using it as an excuse to NOT talk about a future, it’s just that – an excuse.
3 Quickly Changes The Subject When Marriage Comes Up
So, there are only two reasons why a man you’ve been seeing would quickly change the subject when you attempt to bring up the “marriage” talk. One – if he is planning on proposing to you and attempting to throw you off the scent. Or two – he has absolutely no intention of marrying you. It’s a slippery slope in between the two, but if you’re in a strong, stable relationship and you know you two are going to be together for the long run, then your issue is probably the first of the two issues. However, if you’re in a relationship with someone who doesn’t talk about the future and is aloof most of the time about your relationship in general, he’s the second.
If a guy sees you as his wife, he will most definitely talk about being together for a lifetime. A secure man wouldn’t shy away from talking about it. He’ll constantly drop lines like “well, it’ll be different when we’re married” – obvious lines like that. If he has absolutely no interest in hooking up with you for life, the “m” word would be like poison on his tongue. He’ll often look panicky whenever you drop it in conversation. Chances are, if you’re dating this type of guy, you already know it.
2 His Family Tip-Toes Around You
Meeting his family is a big deal. You know where a man stands when his family is brought up in conversation. If you’re seeing someone for a long period of time, it should be a concern if you haven’t met them yet or doesn’t really bring them up.
“Yes, you should be concerned,” a Cosmopolitan relationship expert weighed in on when a woman wrote in about not meeting the family of her boyfriend of eight months.
“No, that is not, in any way, normal. It is odd but not outrageous that you haven’t met this guy’s family after eight months.”
There are usually a lot of reasons why a guy wouldn’t introduce you to his family, and they all revolve around pretty crazy notions, but in the end, it’s never a good thing.
But what if you HAVE met them, but it wasn’t under enthusiastic circumstances? And they weren’t really happy to meet you in the first place? Usually, if that happens, a family will tend to tip-toe around you or completely demean your presence. Usually, only overbearing mothers who hate all of their son’s girlfriends only exist in film and television, so that’s not the issue. Chances are, he’s not going to keep you around for very much longer, which makes his family uncomfortable around you.
1 He Goes Out Of His Way To Avoid Conflict
Usually, this only starts AFTER you’ve been in a marriage for a period of time. Your husband will go out of his way to avoid any sort of conflict with you in order to keep you happy. But if this happens in a relationship, you have a problem on your hands. Usually, a man will tip-toe around conflicts early on in your relationship because it’s brand new. But if you two have been in a long-term relationship and he commonly goes out of his way to avoid conflicts, it means he just doesn’t care enough to fight for the relationship itself. At certain points in the relationship (or, marriage as I stated before) this is fine. But if you’ve been together awhile and his attitude toward conflict has been passive, this basically means he’s already checked out of the relationship.
Conflict or fighting in a relationship is healthy, mainly because it means you two are fighting for something. If a man simply doesn’t care about you, he won’t be willing to fight for anything and just go out of his way to avoid it altogether, and that’s far from healthy. Chances are, he doesn’t see you as a long-term prospect, so he just wants to make sure it’s smooth sailing until he finds a decent way out of the relationship.