When you first get into a relationship, you are still learning about the person you are with. Everything is brand new and the butterflies in your stomach are going nonstop. You start to learn more and more about that person, and soon enough you realize that you are in love and want to make the relationship last as long as possible. Maybe even for a lifetime. There is just something so special about your partner, and you can’t help but to wonder if you found your soulmate. You would do anything to keep the person you fell in love with by your side.
Relationships can sour quickly if you don’t nurture them, tend to them, and take care of them. The work and upkeep are not, and should not, be one-sided. It takes time and effort from both of you to make it the best relationship imaginable. It takes things like communications, trust, honesty, and compromise—just to name a few—in order to make a relationship everlasting. Without honesty and trust, there will not be a solid foundation for a relationship to blossom into something truly beautiful.
If you would like to see what it takes to build and have an everlasting relationship, continue reading below.
15 You Must Communicate, No Bottling Up Your Emotions
For any relationship to work and function well, there needs to be good communication on both ends. You must be able to handle situations by being able to talk them through, and actively listen to each other.
It means not just hearing the words as they are being said, but being able to concentrate on them, understand them, and then being able to repeat it back if needed to make sure you truly get what your partner is saying.
Without good communication skills, your relationship won’t be able to thrive. Have you ever heard the phrase, “I feel like I am talking to a brick wall?” Without communication, that is literally what it would feel like for the both of you. Make sure to pay attention to your significant other when they speak, especially if you want them to listen and understand you.
14 Support His Dreams, No Matter How Disinterested You May Be
Being able to support each other doesn’t necessarily have to mean financially. It means, supporting each other with dreams, goals, decisions, and everything else. It’s not a good feeling if your significant other doesn’t support what you want to do. Say you want to start a new job or make a career change, it’s a scary thing sometimes and it can cause lots of anxiety. It only makes it worse if you feel alone in the process. You and your partner should be able to cheer each other on and have each other’s back. If your other half has a major decision to make, even if you feel strongly about the decision they are leaning toward, let them know what you think—because you have a right to an opinion—but make sure you say, and mean, that you will still love them and support them either way.
13 Spending Some Time Apart Is Actually Important
Being able to see your significant other and spend time with them is simply amazing. It’s hard to not want to be with them all the time, especially when the relationship is still within the first year.
That saying; “absence makes the heart grow fonder,” definitely has some truth behind it because being with one person all the time can eventually work on a person's nerves.
Eventually, little disagreements will begin over things that have no real meaning, or that aren’t that serious. Being apart from the person you love isn’t the end of the world, you will get to see them the next day, or that night if you live together. It’s important to have time away from each other if you want the relationship to truly be everlasting. Take the time to do things you like. Hang out with family or friends. Give your partner time to be with their friends and family without you. It will help create a long and happy relationship.
12 Self-Care And Me-Time Is Crucial
When we’re in a relationship, we may sometimes put our partner's needs before our own and neglect our own self-care or a “me” time. If you are not taking care of yourself, how do you expect to nurture and grow an everlasting relationship? Things like making sure you eat healthily, get some exercise, and making sure you’re getting a good night's rest is crucial. How many times have you put something off that you had to do for yourself in order to help your significant other? I know I used to be guilty of this. Sleep is definitely an important factor because the less sleep you get, the crankier you usually are, the more you’ll pick at things regarding your partner. It’s a snowball effect. Make sure you’re getting your daily shower in, if you’re on medications make sure that you take them regularly. Do whatever you have to do to keep yourself healthy and well.Remember to also take some time out every day to do something that you find enjoyable or relaxing. When you’re happy, a relationship runs much smoother!
11 Having Mutual Friends Is Good, But Non-Mutual Friends Are Better
Friends are an important part of life. Yes, you have your boyfriend (or girlfriend), and you may now consider him or her to be your best friend. But you need friends outside of your relationship too. Someone you can go to vent to when your stressed, and say maybe your partner is the one making you stressed at the moment.
You’re going to want your best friend (pre-relationship) there to listen to you and to give you advice.
It is also good to have mutual friends, someone who knows your partner almost as well, or sometimes even better than you do. Maybe a group of friends that you can plan on hanging out with when you want to include your partner as well. It is a good idea to also keep the mutual and non-mutual friends separated a bit. This way, if there is something you need to talk to someone about and you don’t want it going right back to your significant other right away, you will have someone to do that with.
10 Getting Close, But Not In The Way You'd Think
When people think of intimacy, their mind usually runs right to the gutter. But did you know you can be intimate without involving all that, or at least not just that? You can have an intimate one on one conversation with your significant other. You can share things that interest the both of you. I know it sounds cheesy, but you can talk about your hopes and your dreams. It’s being close to the one you love, even holding hands is considered an act intimacy. You want that closeness with your partner, it can help remind you of all the reasons why you fell for them in the first place. Laying down on the sofa together and watching a movie, would count as intimate as well as spending time together. It is a great way to maintain a healthy and lasting relationship.
9 Letting Him Know Exactly What You Want And Need In The Relationship
In every relationship, it is very important to verbalize the things you want and the things you need. In a relationship, it’s not just about giving but about receiving as well. Verbalizing wants and needs go hand in hand with good communication. If you are trying to build a lasting relationship, you both need to let the other know what needs need to be met.
Do you need some more “me” time? Some more time together? Maybe you need some extra support or help with certain issues.
Your significant other isn’t a mind reader, and most likely will never be. You can’t expect them to know what you need to make yourself happy. Perhaps, maybe stopping to ask your partner if there is anything they need once in a while would be beneficial for the both of you. You have a voice, don’t forget to use it!
8 Have Common Interests, And If You Don't, Make An Effort To Be Interested
Part of having an everlasting relationship is doing things together that you both like to do. Having at least one thing in common can really help with that. You don’t have to both like everything the same way. This is something that is typically worked on in the earlier stages of dating, but not always. Even if the one thing is something small like cooking or hiking, it is still something that you can enjoy together as a couple.
The more you can find that the two of you have in common, the more you will be able to do together without someone having to compromise or without someone having to do something that they may find tedious and boring.
Have fun with it, play 21 questions or the ‘how well do you know me’ kind of games. You may be amazed by what you learn about your significant other.
7 Any Sign Of Disrespect Is A No-Go
Being able to respect each other and their boundaries and privacy is an essential key to creating a healthy everlasting relationship. Everyone deserves to have their privacy because everyone has their own secrets. Some girls like to journal and would love to have that peace of mind knowing that her significant other won’t cross those boundaries and disrespect her and her privacy by reading her personal thoughts. There is not one person in this world who does not have at least one secret. Respect also goes by not calling each other names when you two get into a fight or a heated discussion. You would think that would be common sense, right? But it’s actually not. People say things that they usually don’t mean in the heat of the moment. There needs to be full on respect for each other if you want a healthy relationship. It’s not a good feeling when you feel disrespected by your partner.
6 Being Compassionate Really Helps
If your significant other is having a bad day and needs to vent or even just needs a hug, are you going to walk away and say that you don’t have time for them right now? Not usually, right? That is part of where having compassion really comes in and helps.
It may help make them feel even the slightest bit better knowing that you can empathize with them.
You can understand them and what they need at the moment. Without having compassion, your partner may feel like you are being cold or distant. Just like you would want them to have compassion for you if your feelings were hurt. It’s a way of showing that you care. It works both ways as well; give a little, get a little.
5 Having The Same Long-Term Goals Will Only Strengthen Things
Having some shared long-term goals is not mandatory, but it can definitely help in creating a long, happy, and everlasting relationship. Since you plan on making your relationship last, it would be hard if say one of you wanted to eventually get married or have kids and the other one didn’t.
Because think about it, how would that work down the road if that day were ever to come? One of you would have to make an ultimate sacrifice.
So, with that in mind, for some people, it may be crucial to have some of the same long-term goals unless your willing to give in or give up on what you really want out of life. And, honestly, that’s not fair to either of you. That’s not saying that something happens down the road and someone changes what the want out of life, because that is a possibility as well.
4 Dropping Your Pride And Knowing How To Compromise
You can’t always have it your way and your way only when you are in a relationship. How would you like it if your partner thought that their opinion and likes were the only ones that matter? Enter into a compromise. Compromise is a major factor in any relationship and should start from the very beginning. Compromise can work well come date night too because one week you and your partner could do something you like, then the next week something they like. Compromise can be on mutual terms.
If you cannot compromise, it becomes a one-sided relationship which never works out too well.
You are not exactly sacrificing what you want or what your partner wants, but altering it to meet both of your needs, which will help keep things equal.
3 Honesty Is Seriously The Best Policy
Honesty is essential to every single relationship and it really is the best policy as well. Honesty goes hand in hand with trust. You should not be lying to your partner about anything, especially if you want and expect them not to lie to you.
The only time we lie is if we are hiding something, and relationships should not be built on lies.
Have you ever been lied to, even if it was about something small? I am sure you have. Being lied to doesn’t feel good at all. Even more so when we are madly in love with the person who is lying to us. Right there, should give you the initiative to hold on to the whole, “honesty is the best policy.” If you don’t want to be lied to, then don’t lie to your significant other.
2 If There's No Trust, There's No Future
Trust is another essential key ingredient that goes hand in hand with honesty. You need trust to build a solid foundation for your relationship. When people don’t trust each other, relationships don’t last as long as we would like. And with good reason. Have you ever been in a relationship where you didn’t trust the person you were with for whatever reason? Or they just didn’t have trust in you? It’s not the best and healthiest place to be. If you want that everlasting relationship, there absolutely must be trust. We realize that sometimes trusting others can be hard, especially if you have ever been hurt before. But when you love someone and want a healthy relationship, there needs to be trust in order for it to work.
1 Having A Set Date Night To Have Quality Time Together
Even though time apart is needed every now and then, you will also need time together without daily distractions and cell phones constantly going off. Pick one day a week, or if you’re extremely busy then at least twice a month, to make a date night.
Even if you don’t have money to go out and do anything, you can make a date night at home.
Put on some Netflix and cuddle in bed or on the sofa together and watch a movie, maybe eat some popcorn. You need that one on one time together where you aren’t doing two separate things. You can live with someone and still never actually spend time together. You can go for a walk together when the weather allows it. Have a dog? Bring him or her with you too! Just make sure you always try to find some together time. The possibilities are endless.