A true Cancerian girl (born between June 20th and July 22nd) will be known as "the maternal one" thanks to their loving, kind and sweet nature. If you are looking for a loyal friend who will stick with you through thick and thin - look no further than someone who falls under this zodiac. Ariana Grande, Selena Gomez, Khloe Kardashian, Lana Del Rey and Lindsay Lohan are all famous cancerians.
They always put others first and protect the vulnerable, but that's only if they woke up in a good mood that day. The actual truth is that Cancerian girls are unpredictable and often suffer mood swings so they are overall a difficult one to analyze.
It's not all bad news for those who are born under this sign, there are many benefits but the reality is, thanks to their water sign, they have to face many harsh realities too. Here are the toughest struggles they go through and also, with the help of experts, how to cope with them.
15 They Have Irrational Mood Swings
Falling under a water sign (Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces) means that changes in mood are frequent and unpredictable. A true Cancerian doesn't want to be in a bad mood - that is just how they are feeling for that particular hour of the day. For those around them it can become exhausting and in the worse case scenario: unbearable. If you find yourself shouting: "Why are you being like this? You were fine just a few hours ago!" then you are most likely in the company of a Cancerian.
Steven Berglas, psychologist and former clinical professor at the Harvard Medical School, told Forbes magazine a great way to bust a bad mood is by "channeling your inner warrior." He explained: "Acting brave on the outside - with head high, chest out, and gaze firm - often helps you feel positive and strong on the inside. Even more stabilizing is the feedback from others who, through non-verbal cues, recognize and respect your strength."
14 They Are Hoarders
Collectors are sentimental about their collections, whereas hoarders are sentimental about everything. Cancerian girls will have teddy bears and other trinkets from when they were newborns. You know you are in the personal space of a Cancerian if there are stacks of old magazines and records - you call it 'absolute mess' they call it a 'treasure trove.' They would also think you were the work of evil for suggesting they throw any of it out.
Mental health expert Dr. Gregory L. Jantz, author of Hope for Relationships told Psychology Today: "Hoarding both relieves anxiety and produces it. Even the thought of discarding or cleaning out hoarded items produces extreme feelings of panic and discomfort."
If too much junk is becoming overbearing then it is time to make a change, instead of throwing things away and causing a lot of distress, pack objects in boxes and place them in storage. Make sure the box is dated before you seal it and if after a year you didn't need the items - then perhaps you don't need them at all?
13 They Can't Stand Confrontation
Cancerians will often put up with a lot of unacceptable behavior in a relationship as they would rather say nothing than have to deal with face-to-face confrontation. They are more likely to air their grievances through text message or phone call then in person. They are often calm and it takes a lot to push a Cancerian over the edge but when they do finally blowup - watch out!
People who can't handle confrontation often turn bright red in an argument or shake with anger. If a Cancerian wants to become better at handling then Mike Tyrrell, therapist and co-founder of Uncommon Knowledge, suggests: "Being good at handling confrontation doesn't mean needlessly shouting people out or creating problems where they didn't really exist. It's more to do with being clear in your own mind where the cut-off point lies before you say something. We can and should cut others some slack. Make your own rules, and then respect yourself enough to stick to them."
12 They Are Often Taken For Granted
As mentioned above, Cancerians are not prone to confronting others so their mousey personalities are often taken for granted. They are also incredibly giving and kind which also makes them quite vulnerable to those who wish to use them as a stepping stone to get ahead. Cancerians have to pick their close friends wisely in order to save a lot of heartbreak down the line.
A healthy way to avoid be taken for granted is to seek respect not attention. Psychcentral recommend: "If you confront the person and voice your opinion and unhappiness, chances are that person won’t treat you that same way in the future. It’s not about being confrontational. But a simple, 'I don’t appreciate how you’re speaking to me,' goes a long way. By making some small changes, you’ll get respect, while learning how to also give respect. Use these techniques in all interactions to gain the respect you deserve."
11 They Find It Difficult To Let Go
Breaking up with a Cancerian girl won't take just a day - it could lead to weeks, months and crazily enough even a year until they finally let go of all their emotional attachments to you. The symbol of the zodiac is the crab and those claws are for a purpose. Not just in relationships but also they struggle to forget painful memories from the past. Much like how they collect junk around the house, they also have trouble spring-cleaning their own minds.
Dr. Judith Sills, psychologist and author of New York Times bestseller Excess Baggage: Getting Out of Your Own Way, told Psychology Today: "It's hard to let go of the past in the absence of a positive view of tomorrow. You need a vision of the future. An investment in, a distraction through, or an excitement about something ahead will supply the energy and the will to push you beyond the past. Force yourself to take an online class, hire a trainer and keep detailed records of your body's improvements. Giving yourself a goal to work toward will help to tow you out of the quicksand of yesterday."
10 They Hold Grudges For Far Too Long
As Cancerians have such a good memory, once they have been hurt they find it difficult to forgive the person. Often this adds to their emotional stress as every time they think of the person who wronged them a video comes on their mind of the painful moments. Forgiveness is important in all relationships, friendships and even in the professional workplace. Although forgiving someone too quickly can lower our self-esteem, holding onto a grudge can lead to a low mood, increase in blood pressure or even worse - depression.
In the words of Oprah Winfrey, during an interview with David Letterman, she said, "Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past can be any different. It is accepting that it has happened to you, not accepting that it was OK for it to happen. Forgiving is giving up the hope. Not holding on, hoping, wishing that it could've been any other way than it actually was. Giving up the hope that the past could be any different."
9 They Love Socializing (On Their Own Terms)
Cancerians are the true homemakers of the zodiac. They love entertaining guests at their home and the parties they host are renowned as the best. However, when the tables are turned and they leave the house to socialize in public or at someone else's home - they struggle. Partly because they have little control over their surroundings, they are anxious over what others think of them and also because they would just rather be back in their home - like a crab returning to their shell.
If a Cancerian is struggling at a social event the best thing to do is to remember that nobody is there to scrutinize you. The Daily Mind explain: "If you get anxious before a party it might be because you are worrying too much about what other people think about you. You spend so much time worrying what others think about you that it ends up making you really nervous, paranoid and anxious. Sometimes it is useful to say to yourself, 'People are not thinking about me at every moment. My every move is not being scrutinized.' If you be realistic you will come to realize that most people are too wrapped up in their own issues and neurosis to be concerned with you."
8 They Are Terrible With Large Groups
Cancerians do well with large groups so long as they are not too loud, overbearing or obnoxious. If there is a hectic vibe in the air then they would rather get out of the situation as soon as possible and have the noise ringing in their ears long after. In the work place they prefer one-to-one debates instead of being called into the boardroom for a workshop.
SucceedSocially.com recommend: "Sometimes a group conversation will obviously involve everyone talking together. At other times it's more that many people are gathered in the same area, but it's okay if little side conversations break off. If you're at a table of six people, and four of them are obnoxiously talking about something you're not interested in, you can try starting a new conversation with the one other person. Don't worry about talking as others are speaking, that's fine is it's apparent you're chatting to someone on the side."
7 They Act Tough (But It's Just A Front)
Cancerians are much like their crab sign where they are always putting on a tough front. Although they appear strong on the outside, with their hard shell of armor, inside they have a soft under belly. This can often lead to them bottling up emotions which will torture them emotionally.
Author of Overcoming Low Self-Esteem with Mindfulness, Deborah Ward, explained to Psychology Today there is nothing wrong with being both sensitive and strong. She explained: "Knowing that you possess these qualities means that you can trust yourself to get yourself through the tough times. When you believe that you are a strong, capable person with the inner resources to help you cope, you will realise that you don’t need to depend on other people or anything outside of yourself to get you through it. When you believe that you can depend on yourself, you will find yourself rising to the occasion, becoming the tower of strength that you need when life is stormy."
6 They Struggle Without Creativity
A true Cancerian will be highly creativity and often if they can't find a way to express themselves through either art, writing, music or performance then they suffer emotionally. To create makes them feel as if they are being their "true selves" and restricting them from this need often results in one of their familiar mood swings. In order to keep them stimulated they enjoy making regular trips to art galleries or the theatre. Quite often their homes will be decorated in artwork from all around the world.
An ideal career for any Cancerian would be a creative career where they are able to work from home. As the homemakers that they are staying indoors and earning as either a writer, musician or a painter would be their dream life. They would also thrive as digital artists, marketing executives, brand managers, animators or website designers. Their ability to nurture along with a caring side also makes them natural teachers.
5 They Suggest Settling Down Too Early
Being the natural homemakers they are, and their desire to mother and nurture, Cancerians have a tendency of rushing into things too early. Don't be surprised if you find a Cancerian living with their partner just months after meeting. This can often end in disaster, as the foundation of the relationship won't be strong enough to cope with such a pace. Taking the leap early on also leads to choices in the wrong partner - once again resulting in a lot of heartbreak. They need to realise that there is no rush; according to the Office for National Statistics the average age for couples to settle down is 30 for women and 32 for men.
Dating website eHarmony also advise: "The older you get the better you know what you want from life. This enables you to make better partner choices. Your romantic relationships, friendships and experiences with your family all give you experience in knowing the kind of people you get on with – and the kinds that rub you up the wrong way. That way, you’ll be able to see past the initial attraction when you meet someone new to what really matters."
4 They Are Needy
Again with the Cancerians claws, they are very needy and require constant reassurance from their partners. Often this can lead to emotional exhaustion as those closest to them have to keep up with their never ending emotional needs.
This is often the hardest trait for them to overcome, as they might not necessarily recognize the behavior as 'needy' or 'clingy.' Actions that might fall under this character includes: persistently calling a partner when they already said they were busy, interrupting their working day, tagging along to social events that might not be suited to you (eg. a night out with the lads), or planning activities for your partner without checking if they would like to first.
Making their own plans and learning how to become less dependent on those around them will bring a lot more happiness and also boost their self-confidence. Although this is all easier said than done as it is built into their nature.
3 They Live In A Dream World
Living in their heads is a comfort for any Cancerian, they have such high expectations of life, work, love and travel that often they create their own world where everything feels possible. Everyone is allowed healthy escapism from time to time, yet when it comes to those who fall under the this zodiac sign quite often the lines between reality and fiction become blurred. They have heard more than a dozen times that they have an "overactive imagination."
Surprisingly the easiest way to stop daydreaming is to get plenty of sleep. Stanley C. Loewen told Healthguidance.org: "Studies have shown that if we don't get enough sleep, specifically of the REM kind (Rapid Eye Movement – which is the sleep where we dream), then this can start to encroach into our waking lives in the forms of hallucinations. At the very least it makes it easier for us to drift off deep into thought and imagination as in daydream. Find ways to not only improve the quantity of your sleep, but also the quality. You can also try other methods, such as going running during the day to tire yourself out, and drinking less caffeine."
2 They Are Overly Sensitive
There is little you can say to a Cancerian as a joke without them taking it straight to heart. They are sensitive types deep down and don't appreciate being mocked even if it is completely innocent. You will find most of the time saying to them, "It was just a joke!" Highly sensitive people (known as (HSP) make up around 20% of the population so their emotions are not uncommon.
So how can Cancerians cope better with their sensitive side? Psychologist Andrea Bartz told Psychology Today that she advises: "Your brain works overtime processing input and soaking up others' moods, so it needs a chance to recover. Limit stimulation when you can. Turn the radio off when you're driving. Use a sleep mask and earplugs at night. Meditation is also a powerful way to tamp down stress hormones. (Try) quick, three-minute meditations during the day: Sit quietly, put your hand over your heart, deepen your breathing, and focus on something beautiful."
1 They Are Petrified Of Rejection
The fear of rejection can take over a Cancerian's whole life. If they feel the slightest hint of rejection, either in the minds or real, this can trigger emotions of humiliation, loneliness, uselessness, or just feeling pathetic overall. As they have a tendency to dwell on all emotions, these feelings don't go away fast and can result in a lot of bad days.
They are often in awe of others who brush off rejection so lightly. Following the advice of Amy Morin, psychologist and author of 13 Things Mentally Strong People Do, she reveals: "Mentally strong people know that rejection serves as proof that they're living life to the fullest. They expect to be rejected sometimes, but they're still not afraid to go for it, even when they suspect a plan may be a long shot. If you never get rejected, you may be living too far inside your comfort zone. You can't be sure you're pushing yourself to your limits until you get turned down every now and then."