If you're single and have looked to the often glorious, sometimes amazing, and sometimes horrible and creepy Internet to find love, you're definitely not the only one. It's pretty popular these days, and thankfully there's zero shame attached to it. Remember when we thought that only total losers with about a million cats were dating online? Yeah, that was a weird time. Now it's not that you're a loser, it's just that like everyone else on the planet, you never tend to meet people in your everyday life, and that's okay. It's just the way that life is these days. It doesn't make you anything other than just pretty normal. But there's one thing that we do tend to agree on: if you're going online, you probably share certain characteristics with others who are doing the same thing. The problem with that train of thought? There are way too many stereotypes floating around, and they're not always totally fair. Here are 15 stereotypes of going online to find love.
15 You're Desperate
Nope. Not even a little bit. Since when did wanting to find love become the same thing as being desperate? That's just not true at all, and it's pretty unfair. Why do you have to be judged when you want the same thing as everyone else out there? Just because you're using an app or website to connect with people and hopefully go on dates doesn't mean you feel any differently than anyone who met their person in college or through friends or at a party. If anyone tells you that you're desperate because you have an online account, just laugh or totally ignore them. They honestly don't even need a response because if they're following that super lame stereotype, you can't help them. It's their problem, not yours. Remember that.
14 You're Lying
Since when do we think that everyone who is looking for a life partner online is totally and completely lying? Going online does not equal being a liar. It really doesn't. And yet this is a totally persistent stereotype. Sure, you have probably been lied to by some people, but you find out pretty quickly... often before you even go on a real-life date. You're also probably not a liar, so don't listen to anyone who thinks that you're probably being super dishonest with people that you're chatting with and considering going out with. You're an honest person, and just because you're dating via the Internet doesn't mean that you're going to act any differently than you would if you had met someone organically at a party or were being set up by a friend or coworker.
13 You're Going To Get Catfished
Okay, so we do love the doc Catfish and the MTV reality series that resulted from that. Both of those are super entertaining, sometimes tragic, sometimes hilarious, and just super educational. But just because you think that people Catfish others a lot when they're going online to find love doesn't mean that every single person on there is doing the same thing. We're not sure how common or rare it is to be catfished but we can also say that this probably isn't going to happen to you. Not to say that you shouldn't be super careful because of course, you should, but you might not be catfished as often as you expect to -- or at all. Catfishing and looking online definitely don't have to be associated with each other.
12 You Can't Get Dates
Nope, this one's not true at all either. Why? Well, the fact that you're using this kind of dating service and actually getting dates (because you're probably going on tons of first dates, like most people!) proves this stereotype totally and completely wrong. The fact is that if you weren't using this great resource, you would be single and not dating at all, instead of single and dating like you are. So hold your head high and don't let anyone make you feel like you're a loser who can't possibly get a date to save her life because that's just not your reality. You might have even thought this about people who went online in the past, but that really is not true anymore, and pretty much everyone and their mom is online dating (okay, maybe not their mom...).
11 You're Crazy
It's pretty insulting to call someone crazy, but for some reason, this has become pretty common when it comes to the dating world. Even more, there's this weird feeling that women who online date are crazy. Um, seriously, where did this idea come from? Because you're pretty much the furthest thing from crazy. You're smart, successful, fun, funny, sweet, charming, friendly... the list of all the amazing things about you just goes on and on. So no, you're not crazy, and you don't appreciate being part of this stereotype. So the next time someone calls you crazy when you're chatting with them online, you can be sure that you're not only never going to go on an actual date with this person, but they might not get any dates from anyone ever again. Because women don't want to be called crazy, and that's just not going to fly.
10 You're Clingy
Why do people think that just because you're online dating, that automatically translates into you're a total clingy person? Why do you have to be clingy just because you're going online or using an app to find dates? It just doesn't make any sense, and it's just one of those annoying, frustrating stereotypes that honestly needs to leave and fast. If anything, you're the total opposite of being clingy when you're dating, because you don't want to get too close or too invested in someone that you haven't even met in person yet. You also don't want to feel like this person is your one and only or Prince Charming on date #1 when there are so many ways that everything could fall apart. So no, you're not clingy. Not even close. You're actually pretty distant when you think about it.
9 You're Unoriginal
People tend to think that when you set up a profile, you're super unoriginal and just like everyone else because you tend to write the same things. People still think that you're going to write that you like "long walks on the beach." Um, nope. Sorry, but that was another decade ago, and no on is writing that anymore. Not even to be funny. You actually try to craft a witty and clever profile (or a short bio if you're using Tinder), and you want people to get a sense of who you are... as much as they can from just words on a screen, that is. Hey, it's not a perfect system by any means, but this is the way that it goes. You don't want to write the same things as every other girl, so why do people assume that you're going to be weird and write something like "looking for my future husband"?
8 You're Marriage Focused
So since you're not going to write that you want a future husband on your profile or bio, it's pretty weird that this is still a stereotype. Some guys really do expect that you're looking for this, and they're pretty much turned off by the whole deal. As they should be. Because if you're stating up front that you're looking to get married on a dating profile or app, yeah, you are pretty nuts. But you don't have to be laser-focused on walking down the aisle just because you're dating this way. You can honestly just be looking for your next relationship or someone to just grab a cup of coffee or a beer with and see if you click. Marriage will obviously come up later, but you're not thinking about it right now because it's just way too soon.
7 You're Strategic
Yeah, going online to get dates takes a bit more strategy and thinking and planning than just magically and organically meeting a cute guy at a party. That's pretty obvious. But that doesn't make you a strategic person -- or a strategic dater, as the case may be. It just makes you normal because you're just simply responding to the situation that's right in front of you. After all, you don't exactly want to just go on the site or app every single day of your life, because that's emotionally draining, pretty exhausting, and pretty boring, too. You do have a life that you want to live -- you can't be dating 24/7 and you shouldn't have to. So sometimes you do have to figure out a good strategy so you're not spending all your time on this, or even wasting your time. Maybe that's using the app or website once a day for half an hour, or even just once a week. But it doesn't mean you're super creepy and have some thought-out master plan. You're not a witch or anything.
6 You're Going To Be Alone Forever
This is probably the strangest stereotype about people who go online to date: that they're never going to find The One or anything even resembling that idea. Really? How does everyone know that? Sure, it takes time meeting someone you actually like... but doesn't that happen in real life too? That's just dating in general, and that fact doesn't change, no matter how you choose to date. It's also pretty mean to judge people for how they choose to live and date by saying they're doomed to be alone forever... and it's pretty weird to even mention this because the fact is that being solo is not the worst thing in the world. As long as you keep a positive attitude, you can enjoy your life, with or without a boyfriend.
5 You Need A Boyfriend ASAP
Where did this idea come from? Sure, you've been single for a while and you're pretty sick of going on first dates that lead nowhere, but that pretty much comes with the territory of the dating world. It doesn't matter how you meet guys, it's not always easy to meet the right one, or the one that lights your soul on fire. So no, just because you're an online dater, that doesn't mean that you need a boyfriend and you needed one yesterday. You can totally have fun with your life in the meantime, and you can be patient and wait for the right guy to come along. This is one stereotype that a lot of guys totally believe to be true, which is why you've probably had that annoying and frustrating experience of going on a first date and having the guy freak out on you, acting like you want to be his serious girlfriend right now. Nope, sorry dude, we're just trying to get to know you first.
4 You're A Cheater
Since when did people think that you're going to cheat on your next boyfriend just because you have an online profile or are using an app? That's crazy, right? This comes from people being totally freaked out that someone is never, ever going to delete their profile. If you're honestly that insecure and jealous, you need to do two things: have a serious talk with your new guy and stop worrying so much. Being overly concerned and negative is never going to give you the happily ever after that you're looking for, whether you're dealing with love or life or career. It's just not a good look and it's going to make people basically run away from you. So go ahead and tell someone you don't want them to keep playing the field as the cool kids say. Okay, the cool kids don't really say that at least not anymore. But if you don't talk about it, you don't really know how many people this guy is dating, so all you can do is talk about it, instead of letting the stereotype persist.
3 You Go On Too Many Dates
On the flip side, people can also think that if you're going online to find love, you're going on way too many dates. Um, sorry people, but you're pretty crazy. First, you're telling us that we can't get any dates, and now you're saying that we're going on way too many? Make up your minds. That's the super frustrating thing about stereotypes, after all: they persist and they keep happening, even when they honestly make zero sense and are pretty much the total opposite of logical. Yes, you might go on lots of dates... but it's not too many. Because online dating is a numbers game. Yup, you've definitely heard that phrase before, but that's because it's true. It's pretty insane (and a bit depressing) when you think about how many first dates you have to go on before going on one that actually is good. So no, it's not too many. It's pretty much just the right amount.
2 Something Is Wrong With You
Repeat after us: there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Not even a little bit. So what if you can't meet people on your daily commute to work, standing in line at your fave coffee shop, at a party, or anywhere else? That doesn't mean anything about you. It's just the way that it happens sometimes. Some people meet their person earlier on in life and others meet their person later. It doesn't mean a single thing, and it has nothing to do with who you are, your character, your life story, your experiences, your background, your thoughts. Nothing. So don't feel bad about yourself if you're going online to find love. You're actually doing something really amazing for yourself and your future if you think about it. You're refusing to sit back and let your life happen to you because you're making something happen. That's pretty cool, right?
1 You're Too Emotional
What does going on a website or using an app have to do with being emotional? Not sure at all, but for some reason, people expect you to be a total and utter emotional wreck. Why is there such an expected correlation? Look, you probably do get emotional sometimes... but that's because literally, every person under the sun does. We're human and we get sad and mad and happy and upset sometimes. That's okay. You'd be weird if you didn't get emotional, especially when it comes to dating because let's face it, dating is pretty messed up most of the time. But you're not crying like crazy on all your first dates, or even after. You can handle it when things don't work out because you're an adult, not a child. So go on, keep dating the way that you want, and don't worry about these silly stereotypes. You know the truth.