Are you obsessed with your ex? Do you think about him every waking moment and then go to sleep to dream about him even though he wants nothing to do with you? You are obviously still obsessed with someone you can not have. It goes without saying that it is unhealthy to obsess over someone. Even worse, you are wasting your life, your time, on someone who no longer cares about you.
What should you do instead? How about you step outside of your comfort zone and get a life? I know it sounds harsh, but honestly nearly all of us have been in your shoes. And we all learned our lesson from the awful experience. We have learned that we are only hurting ourselves when he focus on an ex. We look like an idiot to all of our friends. No one wants to get involved in the drama, either. So, plainly you need to move on and stop wasting your valuable time on someone who does not want you.
There are many ways we can obsess over someone. When it is a hot looking actor, we might put his image on our desktop or keep a magazine interview of him in the bedroom nightstand. When it is an actual ex-boyfriend, though, our obsessive behavior can be a thousand times worse.
15 You Check For His Messages Every 15 Minutes
He broke up with you over a week ago, but you are still checking your text messages and inbox every 15 minutes to see if he wrote to you. You feel as though he has got to be thinking about you and you hope to goodness he will come to his senses and change his mind. Good luck with that one because it almost never happens and, as far as my logic is concerned, if he broke up with you then it is his loss. There is no taking him back. Do yourself a favor and delete his number, email address, and his text messages from your phone. Do not expect him to contact you and do everything in your power to stop waiting around for his messages. Life keeps on going on and it is all too short to wait for some douche to come crawling back into your life.
14 You Still Look For Things To Buy Him
When you go out shopping, do you look at the stuff you would buy for your ex if he came back into your life? Do you still go into the men’s clothing store to see the latest men’s fashions and check to see if they have it in his size? Stop obsessing over trying to spoil your ex man. No matter how the relationship ended, you do not owe him anything, and you can be pretty sure that he doesn’t want anything from you, either. If you really want to go spending money on someone, check out what your local charities need. Call up the local women’s shelter or pet shelter and ask them if there is anything you can get for them from the store. Shop for it and then take it directly to the charity. You will get your thank you there from people who really appreciate your offer and donation.
13 You Turn Down Good Dates
Everyone at work has been eyeing up the new guy in the office, but when he comes up to you and asks your wonderful self if you would like to go out for lunch together, you tell him no thank you. It is not that you don’t find him attractive. You do. It is just that you feel as though it would be cheating on your ex. You secretly think that if you stay single and pure as white snow, your ex will see how truly great and faithful you are. Fact is, it doesn’t work that way. Your ex is not going to notice your absolute devotion to him and he is not going to care. He is out of the picture and he more than likely wants to stay that way. In other words, if a good looking, nice guy wants to take you out for coffee or lunch, go for it.
12 You Find Excuses To Call Him
Do you actively look for things to call your ex about? Do you call him up to ask him if he remembers where he put the small frying pan or if he wants his bank pen back? Oh my goodness. Put away that damn phone! The last thing your ex wants is to hear your voice on the phone. He no doubt wants to move on, and so should you. Refrain from calling him, unless it really is an emergency that involves him in some way. Instead, find something else to do with your new found time. Read a book, join some organized hikes, or visit a few coffee shops that just opened up. Write up reviews on their coffee and post them to Yelp. Just find something different to do to get your mind off of him. You don’t want him to remember you as a nag or make him think that he has to hide from his crazy ex. Keep things amicable, but distant.
11 You Still Sleep In His T-shirt
When the two of you were together, you were always sleeping in one of his t-shirts. When you broke up, you held onto one of his shirts just so you could still feel close to him while you slept. Seriously, what are you thinking? How can you ever let go and move on if you still have something of his on you? Instead, mail the t-shirt back to him or, if he doesn’t want it, donate it to a clothing charity and go buy your own comfy t-shirt to sleep in. While you are at it, get rid of anything else around your place that is his. If there are any stuffed animals from him, donate them to charities. Remove all of it from your life so that you can start fresh and focus on yourself. You might also want to use this time to clean out your overstuffed closet and drawers. Get together a trunk full of stuff to donate. Then you can really start over.
10 His Picture Is Still On Your Phone
Does his face still light up your phone screen? Is your desktop image a photo of the two of you at your favorite hangout? When the relationship is over, it is time to let go of all that crap. Sure, you can keep the photos tucked inside a file on your computer, but don’t have them out on display. That will do nothing but serve as a constant reminder that you and your ex are no longer together. Let go of that hurt and that dream of ever getting back together with him and cleanse your phone and computer of all reminders. Instead, take new photos of flowers, pets, family, or scenery, and use the new images on your screens. Photograph something that helps you move forward, such as a dream beach house you will want to save up for and buy one day. Focus on goals, not images of the past.
9 You Date Someone To Make Him Jealous
You are hurt and you want to lash out at your ex in any way you possibly can, so you fall back on the traditional old standby and ask a different guy out on a date. You insist that the two of you go someplace where you know your ex will be. The whole point is to try and hurt your ex and make him jealous. What actually happens, though, is that you hurt yourself, look like a desperate fool in front of other people, and probably wind up hurting your date who might actually be a really great guy. Stop yourself if you are thinking of dating someone just to hurt your ex. Instead, force yourself to take a break from dating and focus on your own needs. If you need something to do, learn a new hobby or take a course at your local community college. Do what you have to do to let go without hurting other people.
8 You Started A Weight Loss Diet To Impress Him
Really? You are going to put yourself through the hell of an insane weight loss diet just to get your ex back? I don’t care how much you weigh, when you go on any sort of diet, it should not only be a healthy diet, but you should be doing it strictly for yourself. When a relationship is over, it is done. No amount of self torture and starvation is going to bring your ex back. On the other hand, if you are going to take up jogging or working out for your own personal benefit and as a way to help you get over your ex, then more power to you. No great changes should be made for an ex. You have to make them for yourself or, like a rubber band, you will just snap back to poor eating habits when you realize that your ex really has moved on.
7 You Internet Stalk The Women He Talks To
Not only are you reading through his Facebook feed, but you are also following and checking out every woman he has friended. If you see him liking her stuff or her posting on his page, you immediately check her stuff out and run an internet search on her name. Let me tell you right now that this is not cool. Whoever he talks to is no longer any of your business, and any new female friends he picks up along the way are his own personal relationships. By checking them out, you are only hurting yourself, not him and not these other women. You will start comparing yourself to them, criticizing them, and maybe even attacking them on posts. In the end, you will only look like a psycho ex girlfriend and no one will want to be anywhere near you. If you go overboard, you may also lose your account. Is your ex worth it? Not at all.
6 You Dress Up Before Leaving The House
Do you find yourself putting on makeup, making your hair look perfect, and wearing hot clothes whenever you decide to leave the house? Are you dreaming of running into your ex while you are out and do you hope that by looking your absolute best you will manage to win him back? Give it up. The extra effort is not worth all the trouble for a has-been. On the other hand, if you are getting all pretty just to meet a new guy, go for it. Even if he will only be a temporary fling to help you get over your ex, you should start focusing on moving forward at this time, and not going back to what you had. If you are not looking, but still hoping to sneak a peek at your ex, force yourself to only visit places you know he won’t go to. Go out when you know he is stuck at work. Stop tormenting yourself with the hopes of seeing him. Over means over.
5 You Still Use His Name In Your Passwords
Do you still use his middle name or birth date in your passwords? Are you constantly using his initials in your sign up handles? After a breakup, one of the first things you should do is change all your passwords so that none of them reflect on your ex. That means no initials, birth year, and no including his favorite food, followed by a special number. Give all of that up. You need to let go of your ex completely and not keep any reminders around. Besides that, consider this a good time to change all of your passwords for security reasons. This way, you will purge him from your password list and create safer passwords for yourself to use. As for including him in your handles, change all of that now. What you are doing will not bring him back. It will just creep him out if he finds out about it.
4 You Avoid Doing Things He Doesn’t Like
Do you love to watch horror movies, but knowing that you ex hates horror movies, you avoid them? You click past the latest ghost stories and chop ‘em up flicks, feeling a tinge of regret, all because he liked comedy shows. You hated his comedy shows, but you use to put up with them, even pretending to like them, just to make him happy. Well, darling, that time is past and now is the time to reconnect with your own wants and desires. Stop thinking about what your ex liked and didn’t like and discover your own interests. Return to the things you used to do before you met him and explore some new things, too. Now is the perfect time to build yourself up, improve your strong points, and create new ones. After all, at the end of the day, what you do for yourself counts the most and it will help you heal and recover from any bad breakup.
3 You Still Want To Have His Baby
Please don’t be that creepy ex girlfriend who still wants to have her ex’s baby. Just don’t even consider it or think about any of the ways you could possibly get pregnant by him now that he is your ex. Think about it – he is your ex for a reason. If he broke up with you, then he obviously does not want to be with you and would probably come to hate you if you have his baby and force him to deal with you for the next 18 years. Think about the child you would have, growing up knowing that his or her parents don’t like each other. It is hard enough to be a kid, but one brought up in a damaged relationship will suffer more than most. Instead, shift your thinking away from your ex. If having a child is high on your agenda, then seek out healthy ways you can reach that goal, either by getting a sperm donor, getting into a healthy relationship, or even taking in foster care children who need an adult to give them love and care.
2 He Is All You Talk About
Your friends have been avoiding you and your mom has stopped picking up the phone when you call her two plus times a day. Why? Because all you talk about is your ex. You keep rehashing the same old scenarios, asking them what you could have done differently. You want to tell them about all the wonderful times you had with him and you also want their advice on how you can get him back. And, oh, could they get a message to him since he is not answering your text messages? You are driving everyone nuts with your inability to let go of your ex. If you find that your friends and family are suddenly hiding from you, then it is time to stop. Ask them to help you move past this rut and move on. Tell them you want to get out and do something new, and then do it without mentioning your ex even once. No more ex talk. It is forbidden.
1 You Set Up A Fake Facebook Account
You have been having such a hard time letting go that he has blocked you from seeing his Facebook page. To make matters worse, none of your friends will let you view his Facebook status on their phones because they know that it is time for you to let go. You are obsessing way too much. You do the only thing you can think of and start up a new, fake Facebook account to spy on him. This only works if he doesn’t have all his privacy settings on. If you have been noticeably stalking him, he has probably turned on every personal block he could find, so you won’t see anything more than his name and picture. When you have reached this new low in obsessing, it is time to get some help. Turn to a friend or family member or maybe seek out some personal coaching. It really is time to move on to newer and better things.