15 Signs You're Not Ready To Settle Down

Not everybody wants to settle down. Aren't you too young to get into something serious in your twenties anyway? If you're loving your single life as it is then you certainly aren't ready to put a ring on it. You're not willing to lose your independence, your freedom and your opportunity to have lots of fun while you still can. Before you're ready to settle down you need to have the opportunity to grow as an individual and focus on yourself for a while. So, you don't let dates become any more than just a casual thing because you aren't there yet.

On the other hand, if you've been seeing someone for a while now you still might not be ready to settle down. You're not ready to settle down together because there are too many things that just aren't right with your relationship. Your relationship isn't ready. It might not be healthy or you might still be harboring feelings for an ex. Settling down won't solve your internal or relationship problems, so it's not the right time for the two of you yet.

15 You Haven't Found The One

If you haven't found the person who rocks your entire being then you're not ready to settle down. If you're going to get serious with somebody then it should be the perfect somebody for you and no less. You should never settle for less than what you really want. It's bad for you and the person you are with. Some people might want to settle down with the person who isn't in fact their lobster because they want to be in a relationship or they think they're not getting any younger or because of a multitude of other reasons. Don't do it! It's not fair on your s/o if they have stronger feelings than you do. And, let's face it, it's not going to work out in the end. You guys will move in together, you'll get bored, you'll realize you made a mistake and you'll probably end up breaking their heart.

14 You're Keeping Things Casual

Right now, your biggest fear is commitment. So you're taking things slow and that's absolutely fine if that's what's right for you right now. You'll know that you're really not ready to settle down if you meet the most amazing person you have dated so far and you're still keeping things casual. They ask you out on multiple dates but you're only willing to see them no more than once per week. They message you and send you snaps, but sometimes you ignore them on purpose. Basically, every time anybody tries to get close to you it's not long before you start pushing them a way. That's a major sign that you're not ready to take things to the next level and get into a serious relationship with whomever you're dating. You need to figure out what is holding you back, this way you can avoid hurting anyone or yourself.

13 You're Frightened

The most simple way of judging whether you're ready to settle down or not is by how terrified you are. Before settling down, or rather taking a more serious step in a relationship, there are likely to be some nerves involved. It would be strange if there wasn't. But the reason you're nervous is that you really want it to work out. And those nerves are always mixed with a sense of excitement. On the other hand, if you're just scared then your gut instinct is telling you that something is not right, you're not ready to take this next step. Settling down with someone should be a natural progression if the person and the timing is right, so if everything within you is telling you to run in the opposite direction you're certainly not ready to get serious.

12 You Keep Breaking Up With People For Stupid Reasons

You're playing the dating game because it's fun. It's nice to go out for drinks and dinner with hotties, have a little flirt and it doesn't hurt if you're getting yours after those dates. But you never follow up with the dates. You might go on a couple of dates with the same person but then you break it off because they sit with their legs spread eagle at the dinner table. Basically, you're finding any excuse to get rid of the person you're seeing before you move onto the next person. If this sounds a lot like you then perhaps it's time to just admit to yourself that you're not ready to settle down. There is nothing wrong with not being ready for a relationship. What is important is to realize and know what you need.

11 You Aren't Willing To Sacrifice Your Independence

At this moment in time, your autonomy is the most important thing to you. It's a lifestyle that you have grown accustomed to while living your single life. You have your own space, maybe an apartment all to yourself and you really appreciate that, how can you not. You enjoy the fact that you only have to do what you want to do, when you want to do it. And you're really not about giving that up. Because when you settle down with someone you have to consider their needs and feelings in the decisions you make, big and small. You have to share your own, what used to be private, space with them. The thought of that gives you chills. Because basically when you get into a steady relationship you have to share half of your life with someone else.

10 You Want To Travel

You have this deep yearning inside of you to see the world. You're still young, so you want to jet around the globe while you're free and single. You not only want to see stunning places and fascinating cultures, you want all of the life experiences that go with it. And that usually means the cheesy idea of “getting to know yourself” and meeting a ton of new people, enjoying yourself and having romantic encounters. You know that's pretty much impossible if you're in a committed relationship. If you wanted to go away for a year or even just a few months, you would have to do the whole long-distance thing. That takes away from your experience as a whole. Yes, your significant other could go travelling with you but that means that you're less likely to grow as an individual on your travels, less likely to meet new people because you're not being forced out of your comfort zone and obviously you won't have the chance to fall madly in lust with a hot Italian.

9 You Still Need Some Time To Focus On You

Before you can get into something serious with someone else you need to know yourself. You need to grow and learn. This comes through having life experiences that sometimes revolve around dating but might have nothing to do with dating at all. So, if you feel like you're not in a position to be in a serious relationship because you don't feel mature enough yet then you aren't ready to settle down. For now, you need the time to focus on the areas in your life and parts of yourself that require growth. Most often people forget to take care of themselves. Part of taking care of yourself is realizing what is best for you. Your job should making sure you are happy and your needs are met. There is no point in doing things because you feel social pressures.

8 You Just Want To Have Fun

Settling down isn't for everyone, especially settling down in your twenties. And you shouldn't feel as though you have to. Of course we all have those friends who coo over their boyfriends or girlfriends and are starting to get on the property ladder and so on. Each to their own, maybe they're super happy and it's all they've been waiting for, but you know that's just not for you. In your eyes that's pretty boring. Rather than thinking about paying a mortgage and starting a family you'd rather be sipping cocktails and meeting lots of new people. You don't want to be tied down and you definitely don't want to be held back from going out and having tons of fun. This is the time to enjoy your life and if that means enjoying it while single then that is what you should do.

7 You Don't Have Time For Anyone Else

You're at a time in your life when you have so much stuff going on. You've finally landed yourself a decent job, in which you can progress if you work hard enough. Your social calendar is quite busy, you're getting that work-life balance thing right. And then you have the stuff that you like to do in your free time such as going to the gym, visiting artisan markets and crocheting gifts for your friends etc. Do you really think you have time to squeeze another person into the mix? If you're super busy all the time then now is probably not the right time to be settling down because then you have another responsibility, another person that's demanding of your time. Whereas, the things you've got going on right now, you feel are more important to you than having a serious partner.

6 You Want To Shop Around

So let's say you're already dating somebody and things are going really well. But if the thought of settling down makes you uncertain because you want to see what other hotties are out there, then getting into a serious relationship with this person might not be a good idea. For starters, if you truly had found the one you could settle down with then you wouldn't even be thinking in this way. You wouldn't be giving side glances at the guys or girls in the bar and you wouldn't be imagining what it would be like to date the stunner you met at that party last week. So, if you're not feeling it then you should shop around. You need to find the right person before you think about settling down or you can just shop around because you feel like it, you just want to enjoy yourself.

5 You Don't Believe In Monogamy

Well, it's pretty darn obvious that you're not ready to put a ring on it if you don't believe in monogamy. This could change in the future (it might not), but don't go forcing yourself into something that makes you feel uncomfortable because you think it's the right thing to do. I guess it is possible to settle down with a special someone and continue to have an open relationship with that person. Some of us may know people who live that lifestyle and seem totally happy. But if the other party does believe in monogamy or is just going along with your wishes because they want to stay with you, then the whole charade probably isn't going to work. Take your time to figure out what you really want, if you can't decide now then don't worry you might change your mind in time. If not that is okay too.

4 You're Holding Onto Feelings For Your Ex

You might be dating somebody that's really special. Yet, whenever one of your friend's mentions that they spotted your ex you feel like you're being stabbed in the stomach. Your thoughts drift off to your ex from time to time to as you picture all the good times you spent together and you wind up feeling sad about the love that you lost. Of course there are many other signs which should tell you that you aren't completely over your ex. And if that's the case then you're not ready to settle down with a new boo. You might be tempted to think that if you get serious with someone else all of those old feelings will go away, but that's just not true. You need to be well and truly over your ex before you try to give yourself to someone else.

3 You're Not In A Healthy Relationship

You might also think that settling down with the person you're dating will rid you of any problems you have in the current state of your relationship. But this can sometimes have a very opposite affect. If you guys are arguing constantly or picking at each other, dragging each other down then that's no good. If your significant other is constantly eyeing up other girls then that's not good either. Some people assume that getting married will fix all of their relationship problems and this never ends well for them. Even if then stay together there might be some deep seeded issues for one or both parties.

If for any reason you're relationship with your partner isn't healthy then you shouldn't be settling down with them. You might imagine that a more serious commitment will heal things. But that might not work, it might just make things worse.

2 They Don't Accept All Of You

Good relationships are of course built on compromise. If you want to get serious with someone then there are things you should be willing to compromise on. For example, you can make an effort to spend time with their friends or do the stuff that they like, even if you're not a fan. But then there are things that you shouldn't even consider compromising on. If they don't like a certain member of your family, for instance, you can't just stop seeing your family because you want to be with this person. Similarly, if they try to change you in any way, such as encouraging you to speak differently or act differently or dress differently then you can't settle down with this person. You aren't ready to get into a serious relationship together because they don't accept all of you nor love you for who you are.

1 You Enjoy Being Single AF

Nobody's forcing you to settle down in this day and age (except for maybe pressure from your parents, family and friends). Hopefully, you're parents are coming to understand that nowadays people wait a while before getting committed and popping out grandkids. Our lives are different and waiting longer to settle down is better for us in the long-run. But your friends and pretty much everyone you know who's the same age as you don't think it's a big deal that you don't have another half. So you choose to be single because you enjoy all of the freedom and independence that comes with it. You're not ready to settle down or settle for less because you don't want to and you don't need to. This is the time in your life to focus on you, make sure you are happy, single or not.

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