Getting married at a young age is not new anymore. Millennials are becoming more and more open and vocal on whether they want to spend a lot of years chasing their dreams or if they want to settle down early and then chase dreams with their partner. The latter isn’t really that bad. But the thing is, most young people end up marrying the wrong person because, well, for a lot of reasons. And no, if you think it’s only because you two are still young and know nothing about life, that’s not it. Oftentimes, young married couples get a divorce because they both lose interest in one another or they realized they have polar opposite dreams and being married just makes things more difficult. So, how do you know if your young marriage is going to end in a divorce as well? These signs are here to help.
15 You Feel Empty Deep Inside
Feeling empty is probably one of the most common signs of being in a bad relationship. It’s like something is lacking but you cannot put a finger on it. But you do know that something is lacking. You do know that you feel more empty today than you were yesterday. Now this can also be a sign of a stressed-out life, especially if you and your partner are in totally different fields. But also, this can be a sign that your relationship will go into divorce sooner than you ever imagined. See, feeling empty for a few instances is fine. Feeling empty more and more each day, now that is different. That is something you need to pay closer attention to. Because if you want to save the relationship, you will do something about it. You will do anything. And your partner would want to do the same as well.
14 You (Or Your Partner) Cheat And There’s No Feeling Of Guilt
Okay, so we all cheat. Or at least, most of us do. It’s kinda like the new trend these days. Like if you don’t cheat, you’re not in a normal relationship. But cheating once or twice and feeling so bad about it is totally different than cheating over and over again and not even giving a d*mn about it. For normal couples who go through rough times, cheating is a one-time thing. They talk about it. They ask for forgiveness. They do everything to make up for their mistake and to gain their partner’s trust back. But for couples who are in crappy relationships, the kind that’s about to end, they don’t talk about their cheating habits. If you or your partner tend to cheat more often and nobody cares if their partner cheated even when it’s already so obvious, this is a sign that neither you nor your partner is happy. Both of you have a mutual understanding to end the relationship.
13 You Two Don’t Spend Much Quality Time Together
And by quality time, we mean quality time in bed. It is one thing to cheat and still want to be with your partner and it’s totally another thing to not want to be with him anymore. If you prefer to sleep on your own, or if your partner goes home so late to make sure you’re already asleep and you don’t even care about it, girl, you better be prepared. Your marriage may have started out great but if the mere idea of sleeping in the same bed, much less having a hot night, is something that bothers you or your partner so much, that is your glowing sign. That’s the sign that says run away, end it before it ends up badly. That’s the sign that you two need to talk about counseling or divorce before things go so ugly you couldn’t look at your partner’s face anymore.
12 Your Friends Are Checking Up On You More Often
If you think your friends are just being jealous because you’re young and married and “happy,” think again. You may appear to be happy but real friends have gut instincts too. They know when you’re just faking the happiness. They know when there’s something going on between you and your husband. So the next time they ask you about it, don’t dismiss them. Talk, as in, really talk. Your friends don’t need you to use the right words or string the perfect sentence. They need you to express your emotions. So don’t even worry about not having the right words for it because if they’re your real friends, they would understand. And they would listen to you even if it takes you the whole night to discuss your relationship that’s falling apart. Let your friends check up on you, girl. That’s their job. And your job is to be honest with them because they’re amazing people who love you.
11 You Don’t Feel Enough Love Anymore
This can go in two ways – either you feel like you don’t have enough love to give or you feel like your partner’s not loving you enough. Either way, it can be because the relationship isn’t doing any better. Probably because you and your partner are falling out of love and you two just don’t notice it yet. Don’t hate yourself for not having enough love to give, girl. You have the right to feel this way because, well, it’s part of the human cycle. Sometimes, we think we love someone so much we can shower him with love every single day, and then the next thing we know, this is not the man we thought we could love unconditionally. This is not the man we thought would be the epitome of love. Stop kicking yourself too much. You can either talk to him about it or just ask for a short break, be on your own and figure out if you still want to be in the relationship or not.
10 You Two Become Major Fault-Finders
Fault-finding is one of the most common hobbies in every relationship, and by every relationship, we mean including the healthy ones. Apparently, it’s human nature to blame someone else and to find the mistakes of someone else, especially if you’re mad or something. But hey, being a fault-finder in healthy relationships only happen when you two are fighting. But if it happens even when you’re not fighting, it’s something else. If you think it’s his fault you ran out of coffee because he makes too much coffee in the morning, or if you think it’s his fault the trash smells because he doesn’t throw it out even when it’s already full, girl you better check in with yourself. Maybe your guts are telling you to end this relationship now and you’re just not listening. Maybe you two need to discuss things and for once, just stop talking about whose fault it is. Because really, it rarely matters to know whose fault it is.
9 You Two Don’t Even Talk About Trying Again
If you two know something is wrong, but you avoid talking about it, that is yet another clear sign that your relationship will soon go into divorce. We’re not saying it’s a bad thing to have a divorce, but we are saying it’s a bad thing to not talk about the problem, especially if the problem has been bugging you for a long time now. And especially when the problem is affecting not only the relationship but also your personal lives as individual people. If you think a crappy relationship won’t affect anything else in your life, or if you think you can prevent it from affecting anything else in your life, think again. Instead of trying to avoid the issue, why don’t you just sit and talk about it? You can either talk about trying again if that’s something that still interests you. But if you try to talk about it and you’re not even feeling it, obviously, there’s no ‘trying again’ that will happen.
8 You Don’t Listen To One Another Anymore
Listening is so important, girl, in case you forgot about it. When you two make it a habit to listen to one another, no problem will be left unsolved. And your relationship will go as smooth as you can ever imagine. Not perfect, but definitely better and stronger. However, if you get tired of listening, or if your partner doesn’t even care about what you have to say, it’s probably best to start discussing divorce, especially when the ‘not listening’ happens over and over and over again. Because really, where do you think your relationship would go if neither of you wants to pay attention and listen? Do you think it’s healthy to be in this kind of marriage? Or a better question is, do you think you can still call this a good marriage? Probably not, woman. So go do something about it before you end up hating yourself for not stepping up and taking action.
7 You Live More Like Roommates Than A Couple
If you’ve ever had a roommate, you would understand. See, couples are supposed to get things sorted out faster. As in, you two shouldn’t keep on fighting on who cleans up and who does the laundry and who left the front door unlocked three times in a row. That’s what roommates do. What couples do is that they talk about it, or at least stay civil because good lord, these are all minor things. Also, couples sleep in one bed together even when they’re mad at each other. Roommates slam doors in front of each other’s faces. If the latter is the kind of relationship you’re in, chances are the two of you are heading down divorce lane. And when you notice this sign, you have a few more options on the table – the only question is, will you be brave enough to choose, or are you just going to let things take its course?
6 You Start Dreaming A Life Of Your Own
The thing about dreaming something for your own self is that most people think it’s called being independent. That it’s a good thing because it shows you can move on your own and make big decisions on your own without compromising the relationship. But hey, that’s not how it always works, especially when it comes to marriage. Sometimes, we dream individual dreams because our partner and us are in totally different fields, but we support each other. And then other times, we dream of separate dreams because we want another life – the kind of life without this certain partner. If you have a strong feeling that you’re dreaming of a life without your husband, chances are, deep inside, that’s really what you want. You just haven’t really given it some deep thinking. See, dreaming for a life on your own isn’t always a bad thing. Sometimes, it’s the only good thing and yet, we keep on dismissing it.
5 You Two Have A Lot Of Excuses For Not Being At Home
This is yet another common sign that your relationship is going down the drain. Remember when you’re both still a new couple and you two couldn’t sleep when one isn’t at home yet? Yeah, well that doesn’t stay for long. When you become married to someone, you end up getting used to having him around all the time and you forget the beauty of waiting up the whole night because he had some overtime work to finish. When you two are married, you find yourselves calling one another, saying how work is so crazy and all that drama. And that’s good. Communication is good. However, when you find yourself not wanting to go home, and instead, keep on making excuses to be elsewhere but home, that’s a totally different thing. That’s not a good thing anymore. That is you, making excuses to secretly exit the relationship through the back door.
4 You Feel Like You Want To Be Single Again
There’s a fine line between wanting to be alone and wanting to be single. Asking for alone time is totally okay. Hey, we all need a break even from our relationships. It’s healthy. From time to time, we all need to be with no one but ourselves, in our happy place, and with our happy tribe minus the husband. Most people call it girls' weekend trip or something. However, when a short trip away from your partner is not enough and you keep on dreaming of being single again, now that is a sign that you’re not happy in the relationship anymore. Even when you don’t feel unhappy. Sometimes, our subconscious sends us signals we’re not yet ready to understand but yes, those signals will always be there. And wanting to be single again, dreaming of a life without him, that’s a signal you need to get acquainted with.
3 You Two Fight Over Small Things
Fighting over small things is one of the most common hobbies of couples. Have you ever remembered the last time you fought about a minor thing? Probably it was a ‘to get or to not get a pet’ or maybe a ‘where to order dinner because nobody wants to cook’ or perhaps a super heated debate on who would sleep on the couch because one of you snores so bad… remember those quarrels? Those tiny arguments that you two treat so big like it’s a life and death situation? Yeah, those are the normal couple fights. They are normal until they happen more and more, and until you two scream at each other’s faces about things that aren’t even close to the original reason you started fighting in the first place. See, fighting over small things is one thing, fighting over small things and yelling below-the-belt stuff is another. And you need to figure out which fight you two are doing.
2 You’d Rather Sleep In A Cold Bed Alone
Again with the sleep, because apparently, couples love sleeping. Until things get ugly and nobody wants to sleep in the same bed with the other one anymore. Keep in mind that you two got a king-sized bed for one reason and one reason only – to be able to sleep together comfortably. Now if you don’t give a damn about that anymore and you just want to sleep on the bed on your own and lock the bedroom door, that’s probably a sign that you’re not happy with the relationship anymore. Now you can either talk about it and try to fix things or you can just end it. This is when you need to listen to your gut more than you used to. And we mean listen hard. Because even when you think it’s just a normal thing that normal couples go through, sometimes it is not. Sometimes, there’s something bigger, you just need to dig a little more.
1 You Don’t Care About Each Other’s Needs Anymore
Back when relationships are still new, every couple tends to talk about giving each other’s need. We all go yakking about being there all the time, listening all the time, doing everything you can to give all his needs all the time… oh please, just stop. We all know we cannot give every single thing our partner needs. Yet we still make such claims. That’s a thing for new couples. And when the new couple isn’t so new anymore and they realize they don’t want to be a couple anymore, that’s when things get a little uglier. When you notice yourself not giving any care about the needs of your husband – any needs, for that matter – that’s probably because you don’t want him in your life anymore. Blunt as it sounds but yeah, sometimes, blunt is the only way to go. Blunt and brutal and honest, these are your compass when you realize you don’t have enough care to give (and you’re still in a bit of denial.)