When you really like someone, and you feel like they might be perfect boyfriend material, it’s easy to come off too strong. The giddiness you feel and the excitement that rages inside of you can cause you to do some pretty wacky things that will turn any man off in a second. It would probably turn you off in a second if a guy pulled that behavior on you. Whether you’re calling him incessantly or just being a bit too eager to hang out with him at all hours of the day (or night), a man who feels like you’re coming on too strong will give you some physical and non-verbal clues to let you know you’ve gone off the deep end. If he is nice he may give you warning about your behavior so that you can realize early on that you're acting a little wacky but often what happens is he doesn't tell you anything and just ends up vanishing, leaving you wondering where it all went wrong.
Sadly, there’s not much you can do if you’ve already pushed it too far and given your guy the creeps, so if you have noticed the guy you’re interested in is exhibiting these telltale signs, you can bow out and abort mission before you really embarrass yourself.
Keep reading to see 15 signs you’re coming on way too strong.
15 He Avoids Being Alone With You
If you start to creep your guy out, he will avoid being alone with you at all costs. Going on one-on-one dates with you will most likely give you the wrong idea, and at this point, all he wants to do is let you down easily. He probably enjoys your company when you’re not acting like a dog in heat, so he suggests the two of you hang out in a group setting. Little do you know, he’s using his friends as a buffer to keep some physical distance between the two of you.
If the guy you’re interested in stops asking you out on romantic dates but insists that the two of you hit up the ballgame with him and his bros, it’s possible that you’ve creeped him out by coming on too strong. Group activities mean you’re officially in the friend zone, so get comfortable because you won’t be escaping this dreaded area anytime soon.
14 He Tenses Up
When a guy is really falling for you, he will want to be close to you when the two of you are together. He will want to sit right next to you instead of across from you when the two of you go out to eat; and when you hit up the cinema on a Friday night, he will lift up the armrest in between your seats so that the two of you can cuddle up during the film. But if you have turned him off in any way, and if he feels that you’re coming on too strong, he will avoid getting too close to you. And each time you move in for a hug or to brush up against his arm, he will immediately tense up.
A guy who is really attracted to you will welcome all of your physical advances. So if you notice the guy you’re interested in starts to back away and gets uncomfortable whenever you move closer to him, it’s a pretty good sign you’re coming on too strong.
13 He Stops Complimenting You
One of the most obvious signs that you’re coming on too strong is when a guy changes his behavior when he’s around you. When you first met, he would always tell you just how beautiful you looked every time the two of you hung out. You felt wonderful when you were with him because he was attracted to you, and he didn’t hesitate to let you know everything he loved about you. But as soon as you started to come on too strong, his behavior changed, and this is a sure sign that you’ve pushed your advances a little too hard. If he went from showering you with compliments to never telling you how great you look, it’s pretty obvious that he thinks you’ve come too strong. He could be holding back on letting you know how he feels because he’s afraid it will backfire, and you’ll turn into the crazy aggressive woman he’s trying desperately to avoid.
12 He Avoids You in Public
When you’re dating someone who is really interested in you, he will be so excited to see you at all times. When the two of you bump into each other at the local bar on a Saturday night, he will walk over to you and your group of friends and greet you with a big hug and a kiss. The two of you will probably end the night together, as well. But if you’re coming on too strong, a guy will avoid you in all public situations.
But the guy who is completely turned off by your needy and aggressive behavior will pretend he doesn’t even see you from across the room, and as soon as you turn your head, he will make his escape by bolting out the front door. He knows that avoiding you is the easiest way to deal with the situation, because if he gives you too much attention in public, you will definitely get the wrong idea about his feelings for you.
11 You’ve Memorized His Voicemail Greeting
If this has ever happened to you, you definitely need to put the phone down and back away from it slowly. You probably think it’s harmless to call him every hour on the hour, but if he’s no longer answering your calls, it’s a sign that you’re coming on way too strong. At this point, he’s not even going to pick up the phone just to be nice. He’s going to let your call go to voicemail, and he’ll secretly hope that after the tenth unanswered call, you finally catch a clue.
If you’ve remembered his entire voicemail greeting, it means you’re calling this guy entirely too much. You need to back off a little bit and let him take the lead from now on. If he never calls you back, then he’s just not the one for you. But if he does give you a ring after a few days or weeks, just remember that coming on strong will scare him away once again. So play it cool if you want to turn things around and make this guy fall for you.
10 He Doesn’t Stick Around for Long
You probably think he’s really into you because he shows up at your house late at night for some bedroom fun, but you’re completely wrong! A guy who only wants to hang out when he has one thing on his mind is not only not interested in you, but his limited form of contact is his way off letting you know you’re coming on too strong. By keeping your interactions brief, he’s able to get what he wants and then leave without things getting too weird. He knows that if he stays at your place any longer than necessary, you will start to get all creepy on him, so he bolts as soon as he can.
If he’s not trying to get to know the real you, and he only hangs out long enough for the two of you to be intimate, it’s a sign that you’ve definitely done something to turn him off. He has placed you in the booty call category, and as you know, once you’re in this category it’s almost impossible to turn things around in your favor.
9 He Avoids Talking About Commitment
Most women make the mistake of talking about being in a committed relationship too soon. If the two of you have only been on three dates, it’s not nearly enough time for him to decide if he wants something longterm with you. If you’ve already asked the guy you’re dating whether he wants to be in a relationship with you, and he gave you an answer you didn’t like, it’s best not to broach the subject again.
By continuing to talk about commitment, you’re putting him in a sticky situation. You’ve already made it known that you’re looking for a relationship, and don’t worry, he’s not going to forget that you want him to be your bae. If he avoids the topic every time you bring it up, not only are you turning him off, but you’re definitely coming on too strong!The bright side in this situation is that you know he’s not ready for a relationship at this time, and you can either decide to drop him and look for someone who wants the same thing as you, or stick it out to see if his feelings for you develop more in the future. But one thing’s for sure, you definitely should stop bringing up the relationship if you want this guy to stick around.
8 You’re Not in His Future
If you have come on too strong and turned your guy off in a major way, he will slowly let you know that you’re not the person he sees in his future. A guy who won’t be sticking around for long will not include you in any of his future plans, and he will never use the word “we” when the two of you talk. Everything will be about him, and you won’t fit into the equation at all.
If you’ve noticed that maybe you came on too strong at some point, he’s probably keeping you at a distance to decide if you’re really crazy about him or just plain crazy. He doesn’t want you to think that you have longterm potential if he’s still trying to decide in his mind if your aggressive flirting tactics will cool off over time or if you will continue coming on strong for the long haul.
7 He Ignores Your E-Flirting
Any guy who likes you and wants to be with you will accept all of your e-flirting. But when you use social media to get his attention, it has to be subtle. If you’re leaving him heart emoji’s under all of his pictures, and if you’re the first to comment every time he posts a new status update on Facebook, you will probably scare him off immediately. Not only are you coming on too strong, but he probably thinks you have absolutely no life if you’re constantly on his social media accounts day and night.
If you’re flirting with the guy you like by leaving lovey dovey messages on his Instagram, but he ignores every single comment you post, it’s a sign that you’re coming on too strong. You should stop posting to his profiles immediately. As a matter of fact, just deactivate your accounts for awhile until you can get a grip on yourself. Stop being so thirsty.
6 He Treats You Like One of the Bros
Friendship is a wonderful foundation for any relationship. Who wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with their best friend? It’s awesome! But if you’re looking to be in a relationship, and the guy you’re interested in is treating you like one of the bros, it’s definitely not a good sign. s buddies.
If he stops treating you like a potential partner, but treats you like one of his guy friends instead, you’re in danger. A guy who is welcoming all of your advances wouldn’t dare talk about other women in front of you, and he won’t invite you out to places he usually goes to hang with his friends. He will treat you like a lady, he will open doors for you, and he will gladly pay for your dates. If you can’t tell the difference between the way he treats you and the way he treats his bros, you probably turned him off by coming on too strong.
5 He Always Has an Excuse
It’s totally okay for women to ask men out on dates. No longer do you have to sit by the phone and wait for a guy to ask you out. If you want the guy, go get the guy! But there’s a difference between being confident enough to ask a guy out and being overly aggressive about the whole situation. If you’re constantly asking him to hang out, and he always has an excuse as to why he can’t see, you’re definitely coming on too strong.
Men are natural hunters, so they get a rush out of pursuing women. But when you step up to the plate and ask a guy out, most guy will gladly let you take the lead for once. It lets him know that you really like him and it can ease some of his worries about your feelings. But being too forward will definitely backfire, and he can quickly go from finding excuses not to see you to not answering your calls at all.
4 He Stops Planning Dates
Once a guy stops planning dates with you, you know deep down inside something is wrong. Most women go into panic mode when this happens, and that’s when all hell starts to break loose. Women tend to get all wacky when they feel like they’re losing the guy they really like. They will start calling him more, texting him more and making up excuses to see him. But if a guy stops planning dates with you, there’s really nothing you can do to relight the fire underneath his bum. It’s at this point where he has officially turned off his emotions for you, and it could be because you came on too strong.
You will never get a good reason as to why he stopped seeing you. He will probably make up a lie about work or school being really busy just to let you down easily. But the truth is, you probably came on too strong, and it immediately made his feelings for you change.
3 You Always Call Him First
Most men hate talking on the phone. They use the telephone to relay short messages to their family and friends, but when they meet a woman they really like, they will want to call her just so they can listen to her pretty little voice.
He may get in the habit of calling you every night after work, and you will start looking forward to his calls. But when you start coming on too strong, and you reach out to him first, it will change the dynamics of your relationship. If you’re constantly calling him first, it could really turn him off, and unfortunately, this is viewed as aggressive behavior to most men.
Guys are tricky creatures. They want to be in control of certain situations because it makes them feeling manly and it appeals to their hunter mentality. But if you switch roles and start to become the hunter instead of the prey, he will slowly back away. So what’s the solution? Allow him to do most of the calling unless you have something extremely important you need to tell him. And as always, try to keep your calls short and sweet.
2 The Answer is “Maybe”
When a guy starts to lose interest in you because you’re coming on too strong, he will try to avoid seeing you at all costs. When you initiate a date, or if you invite him to hang out with you and your friends, he will always answer with “maybe.” In guy code, “maybe” always means no. A guy knows what he wants to do, and if it involves a woman that he’s really interested in, he’s all about it. He would never miss out on an opportunity to spend more time with the woman he wants to be with.
If you can never get a yes or no answer out of the guy you’re interested in, just know that you’re probably coming on too strong. You’ve officially put yourself in his Plan B slot, and you’re no longer a priority in his life. Sadly, there isn’t much you can do to change a “maybe” guy into a “yes” guy. At this point, you’re better off moving on. Just don’t come on too strong with the next guy, or you’ll find yourself in this situation once again!
1 He Takes Forever to Text Back
At first, the two of you would text each other back and forth all day long. You knew that every morning there would be a “good morning” text message sitting in your inbox, and by the time your day was over, he would text you “Good night beautiful.” But at some point, you came on too strong with this guy, and now, your text message inbox is drier than a loaf of bread.
When you take the initiative and text him first, it sometimes takes him hours to respond. Most people have their phones on them at all times - they even take their phones with them when they go into the restroom. So there really isn’t a reason why a text should sit unanswered for five hours.
If his texting habits haven’t changed since the day you met him then I wouldn’t be too worried. But if he went from sending you 30 texts a day to only sending you 3 texts, then you’re definitely coming on too strong. It’s time to back off a little bit before you really scare him off.