Just how desperate are you? You might think you are behaving like any normal woman does, but there are certain signs you are giving off that label you as desperate. Sure, you may want to spend every moment with your new man, but that doesn’t mean you should throw away your best friend to do it. It also doesn’t mean that you should cling to him relentlessly whenever the two of you leave the apartment.
Feeling desperate is one thing, but showing it is quite another. We all have weak moments in our lives, but we keep moving forward and we don’t reveal those vulnerabilities to the people we are trying to date or establish a relationship with.
Are you desperate? Did you know that the more desperate you appear, the less likely you will be to get what you want? It is true. You need to drop the desperate act and work on your self-esteem. You need to relax and realize that if a relationship is meant to be, it will happen because you are a real person. Insecure, clingy people scare others off, especially men. The only thing you can do is change your behavior and gain confidence in who you are.
15 You Whine About Being Single
You absolutely cannot stand being single. When you go out and you see some guys hanging around, you not only find a way to introduce yourself, but you work in your complaints about being single. For the next thirty minutes you whine and pout about how lonely you are, that you have no one to snuggle with, and that you wish you had a man in your life.
If the guys stick around through all the self pity, you start talking about all the great things you like to do for your man, like give him baths and wash his hair, hand wash his underwear and iron his shirts. Not that you actually ever did that kind of stuff, but you are trying so hard to impress a guy who might be looking for a house maid.
Drop the self-pitying “I hate being single” act. You sound desperate and that is a huge turn off for men.
14 Always Too Eager To Do Anything With Him
You call this total hunk up and ask him what he is doing. He tells you that he is at the laundromat, waiting for his clothes to finish in the spin cycle. “Can I stop over?” you ask in a hurry. He is totally bewildered. Why on earth would anyone want to spend their free time at the laundromat?
It doesn’t matter what he is doing or not doing. You always act like it is the most exciting thing to do at the time. You are totally desperate to be with him and it is really starting to show.
So far, you’ve not only hung out with him at the laundromat, but you joined him when he went grocery shopping, and you even offered to go with him to the dentist. Who does that?
It is time you got a life of your own and started doing things that are more productive with your time.
13 You Always Have A Hand On Him
The two of you are not even officially in a relationship and yet you always have a hand on him. The two of you could be sitting in a coffee shop and each time another woman enters the place, you put your hand on his arm or shoulder to signify that he is yours.
If you guys are sitting next to each other on a bench outside of a store, you place your hand on his leg. This not only tells other women that he is yours, it also tells the world that you are desperate and insecure.
It is one thing to be in a solid relationship and be near the one you love, but it is quite another thing when you are always touching a guy you are not in a relationship with. You are probably making him feel real uneasy and, before you know it, he will stop agreeing to hang out with you.
12 Fishing For Compliments
“Ugh! These jeans make my hips look wide. Don’t you think?” What do you expect him to say? That he can’t tell because your butt is in the way? No. He is going to tell you that your hips don’t look big.
When that doesn’t make you feel any better, you tell him, “Oh, I just can’t seem to get anything right today.” Suddenly, the poor guy is searching through his brain for something to compliment you on or he will just say, “We all have days like that. Cheer up, Buttercup.”
Compliments from guys are nice, but only if they happen naturally. Playing passive aggressive for compliments makes everyone think you are a desperate loon. If you want a quick “feel good” that badly, make a point of complimenting other people. It makes the other person feel good about him or herself and, in turn, it makes you feel good.
11 You Start Talking About Babies Right Away
You met this guy just three days ago and you are already feeling head over heels about him. You spent the afternoon daydreaming about him, the house the two of you will have together, and, of course, babies! So, what do you do? You stop over at his apartment after he gets home from work and you immediately start talking about future plans with him. Then you pop the big one on him and ask him how many kids he wants. You tell him you want at least a dozen babies by him because you know that he has got great genes and all the babies will be adorable.
By this time the guy is probably in shock. His mind is probably trying to come up with some excuse to get you out of his apartment.
Fun time in the bedroom? No way! You were just talking about babies and there is no way he is going to trust you not to get pregnant on the sly.
10 Constantly Sending Him Texts
You just met the guy last night and he is probably already regretting giving you his number. You texted him twelve times last night after the party and then you started texting him first thing in the morning.
Last night he returned most of your text messages, but today his texts are few and far between. Did you do something wrong? Say something wrong? Is he not interested in you?
Slow down there, sweetheart. You are probably just driving him crazy with too many texts all at once. Take a step back and give it a day or two to see if he texts you. If you don’t hear from him in three days, drop him a “What’s up?” Either he will answer or the damage was done and he won’t respond to you anymore.
Take it as a lesson learned and don’t text like a nutter right after meeting a guy.
9 Draw Attention To Your Body Parts
You and your girlfriends are going to a party tonight. Being desperate for a boyfriend, you throw on the shortest skirt you can find and put on a very revealing shirt that shows off your sexy Victoria’s Secret bra. You look into a mirror and know you are dressed for the kill.
At the party, you talk to just about every guy who will look at you. While talking to them, you wiggle your butt in front of them, bend down low so they can see down your shirt, and pull off every trick in the book to make sure they see you as a sexual object.
You are sending out the message that you are free, available, cheap, and easy. Sure, you will get some attention and might even go home with a one night stand, but you won’t be getting a long-term, stable boyfriend. You look too cheap for a real relationship.
8 Pushing For A Lot Of Intimacy
He is always nice to you at work and you think he actually likes you, so you ask him out on a date. He accepts, but he has no idea what he is getting into.
The two of you go out for dinner and afterwards you invite him over to your place for a movie. He accepts and as soon as you get him on the sofa and the lights are out, your hands start touching him and you start kissing his neck. You pull out all of your feminine wiles to get him in the mood for something more.
Some guys might like this, but most guys won’t think highly of you for trying to get it on during the first or second date. They will know right away that you are not only easy, but that you are desperate for a guy. It is a major turnoff and you will probably never get another chance with him.
7 Start Cleaning Up After Him On The First Date
He seems like a great guy and you are eager to show him you are pretty awesome, too. That is why, after inviting you over for a pizza and a movie, you immediately start to clean up his apartment. You do his dishes, organize his coffee table, and you even start sorting out his laundry. You think you are showing off your good wife skills, but what you are really doing is making him feel uncomfortable.
Instead of setting the tone for the relationship where you are the maid and he is the lord of his castle, let him clean up his own mess. If you make some dishes dirty, offer to wash the dishes as a thank you for the pizza or whatever, but not as a way to bribe him.
When you wait on a guy hand and foot, he doesn’t think you are great. He views you as a lowly subordinate, and that is not the kind of relationship that you will be happy in.
6 Show Up At His Work With Food
One of the first things you did when you met him was sort out his work schedule. He might have thought you were just interested in what he does, but secretly you were trying to figure out what days he worked and what his hours are.
Now that you know his work schedule, you somehow think it would be a great idea to just show up at his work place. You even think that this would be a great time to show off your baking skills, so you bake him a batch of brownies, cut them into perfect squares, and take them to his work.
You show up with your food offering and then wonder why he looks so embarrassed. Is he happy that you just interrupted him at work? More than likely he is not. What’s more, you look like a desperate fool for bringing in brownies to a guy you just met.
5 You Put Up With Putdowns
The guy is a total douche, but you think you need a man and any man will do. This particular one has an ugly habit of putting you down every chance he gets. For example, you just lost some weight. You point it out to him and all he says is that he can’t tell if you lost anything. He is always making fun of your jiggle butt and he has even pointed out that you have muffin top. Nice, right? So, why are you putting up with it?
A desperate woman will put up with almost anything just to have a man on her arm. He doesn’t benefit her in any way. He is a lug, a deadbeat, and he is destroying your self-esteem. Stop putting up with his crap and kick him to the curb. No one deserves to be treated badly and you deserve so much better.
4 Take On Activities You Hate
He is a total football nut, but you secretly hate the sport. It is loud, boring, and you could care less about the teams or the players. However, you are desperate to have a boyfriend and you want this guy to think you are the perfect girlfriend, so you put on a smile and root for his favorite team.
The same goes for drinking beer. You don’t like the stuff, but he does. You worry that he won’t think you are a cool girlfriend if you can’t chug a beer, so you hold your breath and drink the stinky stuff.
If you find yourself doing things you don’t like doing, you are the desperate girlfriend. You are giving up the things you enjoy just to make him happy, and chances are he probably doesn’t care either way. It is normal for couples to have different interests, so stop acting desperate and start doing your own thing.
3 Grilling Him About Past Relationships
When you are entering into a new relationship, you and your partner should be focused on the present and maybe even touch on future life goals. Early on is not the time to dive into past relationships, although, honestly, it is never a high priority subject. The past should simply stay in the past.
However, if you want to show a guy that you are desperate and prone to jealousy, then go ahead and ask him about his previous girlfriends. Make sure to trash them, too, just so you can look petty.
Leave your new man alone about his past and don’t volunteer information about your past relationships. Instead, focus on how you are feeling right now and relax. Enjoy this early time together, learning about each other, and having fun. If there is something he feels you need to know about his past relationships, he will tell you about it when he feels the time is right.
2 Willingly Ditch Friends And Family For Dates
Dear mom has been planning a big family dinner for the past week and she is so excited to get everyone together for a day. You arrive, all happy to see everyone and not ten minutes later you get a call from some guy you met the other night. He asks what you are doing and you tell him about the family dinner. “That’s too bad,” he says. “I was calling to see if you wanted to go see this movie with me.” In a heartbeat you switch gears from family to man hunter. You tell him you can meet him in 30 minutes and you say goodbye to your family and leave your heartbroken mom behind.
Not only is your family upset with you, but now this new guy knows that you would do just about anything for him. Over the next month, he gets you to ditch outings with your friends and he even gets you to reschedule your appointment with the chiropractor. He knows you are desperate and he knows he can manipulate you to do whatever he wants.
1 Need Constant Confirmation Of Relationship Status
Not a day goes by that you don’t ask the new guy you are seeing if he loves you. Of course, he says yes because he wants you to be happy. You are always double checking to make sure the two of you are in a “serious” relationship. If he does something to upset you, like say thank you to a waitress, you again need confirmation that the two of you are still together.
After all that, you also demand that he changes his status to being in a relationship on all of his social media. You smother his Facebook page with hearts just to let everyone know he is your man.
Honestly, you are smothering the poor guy and you are showing him just how insecure you really are. You are desperate to keep him and instead of letting the relationship develop naturally, you eventually scare him away by behaving so desperately.