You’re a fun-loving kind of gal who is always on the go and eager to try something new. But a relationship? Eh, who has time for that? Not you. Or so you say. There are many things you tell yourself and others around you, why you are a single gal. You don’t have the time to give someone right now, you’re too focused on your career, you like to mingle with people without worrying about anything more. Sure, these are all valid reasons as to why you don’t want to get into anything serious - and we totally get it, really - but is this really how you feel? Maybe you are hiding behind all these excuses for another reason. Perhaps you are simply afraid to fall in love because of the possible outcome. If you fall in love and get into a serious relationship, you become vulnerable and can possibly lose someone in the end. Not sure if this is you? Here are 15 signs you’re afraid of love.
15 You Don’t Want To Give Up Your Solo Time
Okay, okay, we know how you love your solo time. We have to admit, so do we. Who doesn’t like to come home after a long day and put on some old sweats, plop it on the couch with a carton of take-out and glass of wine while watching your latest Netflix obsession - Bloodline 2, anyone? Yeah, we totally get the whole solo time thing, and we can understand how you might feel you’d have to give that all up if you got into a relationship. However, when you’re in an equal relationship with someone who gets you, your alone time still remains no matter what. If you are with someone who doesn’t want to suffocate you with his time and love, then you don’t have to worry about never having any time for yourself. And if you don’t find this in your relationship, perhaps it’s not the healthiest one for you to be in.
14 Your Past Is Very Much The Present
We’ve all been there. You get your heart broken and after lots of time has passed, you feel ready to date again. Hooray! However, when you meet someone awesome that totally gets you, you get freaked out. Why? Because your past rears its ugly head again. Your emotions are all over the place and right away you think back to the guy who broke your heart last year. You’re not focusing on the new guy whom you just met - and may not actually break your heart into two like the other dude - but instead are solely invested in on the past and how hurt you got before. We totally get how hard it is to move on and when your past emotions come up in the present out of the blue, it can be very difficult to figure out what’s happening and how to move on. But, it’s important to remember that the past is the past, and that doesn’t mean it will make its way into the present.
13 You’re Nervous He’ll Leave You
So you meet this amazing guy and you really like him, but the thought of getting close to him makes your stomach go into knots. Why? You’re so afraid that you will fall too hard for him and then he will one day leave you. Sure, it’s understandable. You were hurt in the past from the guy who left you, but the thing is this guy isn’t him. They are different in many ways and you don’t know that he is going to leave you. There is no way you can predict that. Sure, it’s scary to think about it - and granted, we all do - but you can’t let it paralyze you into not allowing you to love again. It’s not worth your time and energy to think about the past like this or to believe this new guy will leave you because you simply don’t know what the future will bring, and trying to determine it is a lost cause.
12 You Have A Hard Time Trusting Anyone
Trust is a big thing for you. While you may trust your closest friends and family members, trusting the opposite sex to stick around and not hurt you in the process is something else entirely. Right away when you meet someone new, you think he will screw you over somehow, therefore making you appear not interested and well, a little standoffish. Whether you’re dealt with someone who has hurt you in the past or you have seen it happen time and time again to those you care about, either way, you are not willing to give in and trust someone. And while we can appreciate that, we have to wonder what kind of life that is without bringing in new people into your life and opening yourself up to others? Besides, how do you know you can’t trust someone without actually giving them a chance?
11 You Don’t Want To Feel Vulnerable
There’s that word: vulnerable. So many people hate it and find it downright ugly. No one wants to feel like they’re on display or their emotions are up for grabs. It’s a scary thing to feel vulnerable, and when you’re in a relationship, chances are you find yourself feeling that way. You have to open yourself up completely in order for a relationship to work and that means you have to be vulnerable. But it’s not just when you are in a relationship. It’s in the beginning, too, when you first fall in love. Wowza, that’s super scary. You’re so unsure of your own feelings, let alone his feelings toward you, that it makes you stay up late at night freaking out. We know how scary it is to feel this way, to let yourself love and be loved, but feeling vulnerable isn’t a bad thing, and shouldn’t be frowned upon.
10 You Don’t Feel Loveable
Sure, you don’t consider yourself heartless or anything like that, but when it comes down to being loveable, you’re feeling iffy about yourself. You’re a good person who cares for others, but you are also seriously independent and don’t have time for any crap, making you sometimes appear too hard. You think that men are looking for those women who want to take care of them and only them - so long solo life! - and are all mushy and sensitive, and that’s just not you. Okay, maybe some men might want that, but not all of them do. Just because you aren’t the stereotypical woman you see in society, doesn’t make you unloveable. You can make someone happy just as well as the overly sensitive chick, while still rocking out to your own beat. You’re strong, independent, successful, resourceful, and most of all, downright loveable - no matter what you say or think.
9 You’re Fearful Of Loving Him More Than He Loves You
Yikes, this is a hard one. And the thing is, most of us have all been there. We meet a guy that we totally dig and as the relationship grows, so does our feelings. Sounds normal, right? Perfect, almost. The only thing is, he doesn’t feel the same way back. Talk about a downer. Sure, he likes hanging out with you and enjoys being intimate with you - maybe even prefers to spend most of his time with you - but he doesn’t have those strong feelings toward you that you do toward him. While you’re completely fixated on him, he’s out with his friends still scoping out other girls to take home. And while you don’t answer your phone when the two of you are together, he keeps his on the table, answering every single text that comes through. Who wants to be in a situation like this? No one. But just because that has happened in the past, doesn’t mean it will happen with the new guy.
8 You Don’t Want To Leave Your Friends & Family Behind
Falling in love with someone is very time-consuming. Once you have hit that brink of no return, that special person in your life is all you think about. And this special person is the only person you want to spend time with. You know your friends and family members hate it because they want to spend time with you - and your new guy would probably even be down with it - but you are so fixated on spending time alone with him that you get lost in the moment. And it’s a hard moment not to get lost in. So when a new guy comes into your life, you get freaked out that this might happen again. You might find yourself only wanting to hang out with him and leaving the rest of your life far behind. Sure, this is worrisome, but the fact you are worried about it, makes you kind of think you won’t allow it to happen, right?
7 You Don’t Always Want To Check In With Someone
A lot of couples have no problem checking in with one another when they are not together. It’s sort of a couple code that everyone does without even realizing they are doing it. They text or call each other when they are going to be later than expected, or they have to give an excuse to their loved one when they get home late without telling them. Okay, sure it can be a little annoying now and then, especially when you think about your single days when checking in with anyone besides your cat when you got home drunk was on your list of things to do, but it’s nice to know you have someone that worries. And it’s not such a bad thing when you have to check in with a significant other. All you are doing is being courteous so they aren’t worried about you. That’s no so bad, is it?
6 You Like To Date
You have those fun single gal pals that you love to go out with. You and your gang head out to all of the best singles bars and pick up the hottest guys around, which is totally fun. There’s nothing like getting dressed up for a night out of picking up attractive men at the hottest “it” bar in town. And dating? You and your girlfriends love it. You get to meet new people and go to many different places, all while deciding to go home alone or not. You have your freedom while still getting some attention from the opposite sex. However, dating can get seriously old. How many creepy dudes do you have to date in order to find a normal one that you aren’t embarrassed to be seen with? Or have a normal conversation with? If this is your excuse about not wanting to find love, you may want to seriously rethink it.
5 You Can’t Imagine Being With Only One Person Forever
Everyone gets freaked out about being with only one person forever and forever. It’s like only buying one purse and wearing that for the rest of your life. Yikes, how is that ever going to match with all of your outfits? So instead of jumping on the wagon like the rest of your friends and searching for Mr. Right, you are cool with just dating here and there, and the rest of the time flying solo. Sure, it would be nice to have someone who got you and who you liked to hang with, but doing that forever? Now, that’s a serious commitment you’re not sure you can handle. However, it might be easier to find love and embrace it when you don’t think about it this way. Go into a relationship just thinking about being together now in the present and enjoying every minute. We are only here on this earth for so long, why not enjoy every bit of it without worrying about the unknown future?
4 You’re Focused On Yourself
You have a lot going on these days. Between your new morning barre class, that new art project you’re tackling, Netflix binge-watching, and your busy weekend with friends, you really don’t have much time for anything else. You’re a woman on-the-go who is very much into herself right now. Your career is important but so is your solo time along with friends and family. There is so much happening in your life that you can’t imagine adding anything else - anyone for that matter - into the mix. We totally get it. We can appreciate how busy you are, and applause you for it. Starting a new job and a vegan blog all in one week? Kudos. But if you can fit all that in, who says you can’t fit in a new love interest? If you are a woman who is into herself, you don’t have to worry about losing that when you fall in love with someone.
3 You Can’t Tell If He Is The One
This is a tough one. You start dating a guy and right away you think: is he the one? And the answer isn’t always that appealing. Part of you thinks he might be, but the other part says no way. How can you be sure he is the one you want to stay with forever and forever? Well, for starters, if you just started dating someone and are already wondering if he is the one you will spend the rest of your life with, hold up. It’s way too early for you to be thinking about this stuff. You guys just met and just started hanging out. How can you possibly think about being together forever when you hardly know each other? Now, if the two of you have been together for a long time and you are now questioning whether you will be together forever, you might want to take a step back and question why you are thinking about this in the first place.
2 You Don’t Want To Give Up Your Space
You love your own space. After a day in the office or a night out with your friends, you love coming home to your own space and getting into your own bed without worrying about anyone there asking any questions. Your space is very important to you and it’s nerve-racking to think about giving that up when you get into a relationship. You feel that once you get into a relationship with someone you love, you won’t have your own space to enjoy because you will need to be together all the time. And the thought of getting an apartment together and moving out of your own space terrifies you. Not having your own pad to come home to alone? Wow, that’s a scary thought. But when you are first starting out in a new relationship, these are things you don’t have to worry about yet, so do yourself a favor, and don’t.
1 You See Other Couples Miserable And Don’t Want That To Be You
You see your friends who are in relationships where they are constantly fighting with their significant others and it makes you cringe. You are always asking yourself: “why in the world would they want to be in something like that?” Who wants to spend most of their life fighting with someone who they are supposed to be in love with? Not you that’s for sure, but just because your friends are in something like this, doesn’t mean you will be. Maybe since you are so aware of this, you will be more conscious of not having this happen to you and your significant other. Look, you’re going to fight. That’s what happens in relationships. But that doesn’t mean you will follow in your friends' footsteps and get in full-out battles with your guy everywhere you go. Just because you see bad relationships around you, doesn’t mean that you will have that happen to you - or that you will stand for it.