Getting married is a big deal for most people... especially us females. Let's be real, most of us start planning our weddings years before we even know who the groom will be. Wedding planning is another story, though. An occasion as monumental as your wedding day is bound to come along with some stress. But you can't let that stress get the best of you... unless you want people to call you a bridezilla. If you're planning your wedding, you should know that your bridal party already gets that this is a big day for you, and they will probably do almost anything to help you out. But that doesn't mean that you get to go all crazy on them. If you do, you won't have any guests at your wedding. Worse, after you're actually married and start fighting with your husband, you won't have anyone to vent to because you destroyed your friendships. Oops. If you're wondering if you're risking crossing over into the crazy territory, read our 15 signs that you might be a crazy demanding bride.
15 You Ask Your Bridal Party To Pay For Your Wedding
Weddings are a financial burden on every single person that attends your wedding. Each person that you invite will basically be paying to spend your big day with you in some way. Most of your guests will have to buy new clothes to wear to the event, and most of them will get you a gift (at least they should, right?). Most people will spend this cash without a single complaint because they love you and want to be a part of your special day. But that being said you should never make things even more costly for your guests by asking them to actually pay for your entire wedding. It doesn't matter how much you want the decor or the most expensive venue, it's your responsibility to pay for your own wedding. This includes your dress, cake, and anything else. You probably won't get the response you're looking for, and if you do, you can bet that your guests will be talking about you behind your back.... and they won't be saying anything nice.
14 You Make Your Bridal Party Go On Diets
Most brides go on some form of a diet before their wedding so that they can be in tip top shape. There's nothing wrong with wanting to look your best, especially on such a big day in your life. But just because you want to look a certain way doesn't mean that you should make your guests look that way, too. You handpicked each woman to be in your wedding because you share a special bond (or because she's your fiance's sister), not because of what she looks like. It's basically super rude to ask your bridesmaids to lose weight at all. Either way, if you're unhappy with how they look, you're just going to have to deal with it, unless you want people to think you're nuts. And mean. Because asking someone to lose weight is pretty mean. If you keep pushing them or put them on a cemented schedule, they're going to lose the will to do it. Then they might drop out altogether.
13 You Make Them Cut/Color Their Hair
You definitely have control over most of the details of your wedding. You want your bridesmaids to wear red and orange? You obviously haven't heard of complementary colors, but sure, whatever you say. You want them to participate in a super basic reception dance to "Single Ladies?" That's so 2010, but whatever, you're the boss. One thing you definitely can't and shouldn't demand is that your guests do anything to change their appearance -- especially if that is going to be permanent. This includes haircuts, dye jobs, tattoos, and piercings. They will only be in your wedding for one day, and those things will take weeks, months, or years to reverse if they can be at all. We know that you've had every detail of your wedding planned out since you were 12, but what you didn't realize is that those in your bridal party are adults who can't be bossed around. If you just have to have a certain aesthetic, then you might be able to talk them into wearing wigs or extensions, but even that is pushing it.
12 You Send Daily/Weekly Emails
If you've made it this far and can relate to any of the above points, then you've no doubt been driving everyone around you crazy with a constant barrage of emails. Just stop. It's annoying. After you send out the initial invites and brief everyone on gowns and color schemes, you should, at most, send an email once every two weeks, especially if your wedding is months away. We know that this might be hard to believe, but the only person who is thinking about your wedding every day is you. We're not trying to be mean. But come on. There are only 24 hours in the day, and people have their own lives to worry about. No one needs to know about every single decision you make leading up to the wedding. Chances are, you're going to change your mind a thousand times before anything is set in stone. Save the emails for important info like dress fittings appointments, venue address, things like that.
11 You Tell Your Guests Who To Invite
Planning your guest list will probably be the least enjoyable part of the wedding. No matter how you tweak it, you will never be able to fit everyone that you love on your list. As such, some people will get offended, some hurt and some will remove themselves from your life altogether. But for those people who actually make the list, there's another set of challenges. Who sits next to who, who can't sit next to who. And most importantly: what if you simply don't like their plus one? Hey, it happens more often than not. In that case, unless their date literally used to sleep with your groom, you're going to have to suck it up. Trying to tell your guests who to bring will likely ignite an argument and at the least passive aggression on their end. Trust, you don't want that kind of energy at your wedding. If there is just someone who you cannot deal with being at your wedding, you should inform your guests individually as needed in as gentle of a manner as possible. It's still going to suck, but it will ease the blow.
10 You Demand Too Much Attention
It's easy to get wrapped up in yourself when you're planning your own wedding. You have probably adopted a "me, me, me" attitude and that means that you are pretty unpleasant to be around right now. Yeah, you're the bride. You deserve special attention, to be called beautiful at least once by your bridal party, and maybe even a back rub to ease your stress. But that doesn't mean that people have to ogle you 24/7 or devote every second of their free time to you. These people are helping you because they love you. So, you can't expect that people will ooh and ahh over you at every second of the day. It's not realistic, and, if we're being honest, it probably wouldn't be genuine in the first place. Rather something to stroke your gigantic ego. You get special attention because they want you to have a memorable wedding, not because you're better than they are. So, when trying to coordinate, don't look so much into what people are saying about you, but what they are doing for you to make your big day a success.
9 You're Always Yelling
Wedding planning is super stressful, especially when you're over budget and, oops, running out of money and fast. Between booking the caterer, picking flower arrangements, and figuring out where to go on your honeymoon, things can get pretty hectic. But no matter how you feel, you have to keep your cool when you're dealing with your loved ones. Yes, even when they're hard to deal with. How you express yourself and how you deliver your message is absolutely everything. You can convince a person to do almost anything if you approach them in the right way. But, ranting and raving probably won't accomplish much of anything. No one wants to be yelled at or talked down to like a child. All yelling will do is piss off your wedding party and make them want to ditch you. Some, if not all, of them, definitely will. If you think you're stressed now, you're really going to be pulling your hair out after you've been left to deal with all of your tasks yourself.
8 You Don't Ask For Your Groom's Input
Let's be honest, a wedding is all about the bride. That's just the way that it is and it probably won't change anytime soon. After all is said and gone, if you have a good catch, your husband will let you be in the spotlight on your wedding day without too much complaining. But don't forget that your husband-to-be has wants and needs as well. Just because he won't be the center of attention doesn't mean that you should exclude him from the planning. It is his day too, after all (even if he plays a minor role). You should make sure that you ask for his input every step of the way. At least, for the big stuff like the venue, cake flavor, and your honeymoon destination. If you don't want to share the main cake, get a cake or dessert that he likes. Those little things will show him that you respect him and want him to feel included on your big day. They will also let you start your marriage off on a high note.
7 You Never Say Thank You
Wedding planning takes a lot, whether you have a big or small ceremony. People will be running around the city looking for dresses, picking up cakes and making sure that family members who have flown in don't get lost. It really will take a whole village to pull everything off without a hitch. The more people who you have working to help you, the easier it should be. In theory, at least. If you treat people with respect and let them know that you appreciate them, they'll be happy, relaxed, and make fewer mistakes. But, if you berate them with insults, and never, ever say thank you, then they're going to feel defeated and eventually throw in the towel. Though any good friend or family member will help you out of kindness, it's still nice to know that you're appreciated. If you don't show appreciation for the people who are helping you, you need to slow down and re-evaluate your communication strategy.
6 You Demand Perfection
If your standards are impossible to live up to, then you probably need to chill out a bit... or a lot. It's only going to create tension amongst your bridal party and that will translate to an unhappy ceremony. Accept that some stuff will go wrong. It's not a question of if, it's a question of when. It doesn't matter who you hire or what vision you have for your wedding, you will probably never get every single detail just the way that you want it. The photos in wedding catalogs have been carefully curated and shot by photographers who have powerful editing equipment. Of course, they're going to look perfect! But, in real life, you have to take human error into account. Someone might stumble. The wrong song might be played during your first dance. Heck, some clumsy soul might even step on your wedding train. But no matter what happens, you have to keep a positive attitude and not let those things ruin your day. Years from now, you're probably going to forget about all of the small details, but you'll always remember how you felt. Choose to be happy, no matter what.
5 Your Bridal Party Hates You
When you hang out with your bridesmaids, are you feeling the love? If you can cut the tension with a knife, then you are probably a super awful bride-to-be. You are the leader, so unless someone in the group is starting drama (which you would know since you are the bride), you can bet that you're the common denominator among the group. If you can tell that they'd rather be anywhere else than with you, then you need to adjust your actions and maybe even apologize. Deep down, they've probably lost all excitement for your wedding and are not dreading the day to have to stand with you and smile for your friggin photos! If you don't want your actual day to feel this way, then you need to figure out what you've done to make them feel this way, whether it was a lack of appreciation or too many demands.
4 Your Bridesmaids Take Forever to Respond
Your bridal party knows that you have deadlines but they still aren't responding to your texts within a reasonable amount of time. Yesterday, they were here, but today you can't get anyone on the phone. You know that pre-wedding planning mode, these people were prompt and reliable, but now, when you need them most, they're nowhere to be found. You might be thinking that they're true colors are showing, but no one changes that quickly. Changes happen gradually over time. if your bridal party is suddenly acting distant, then you need to do a bit of self-reflecting. Think back to the tones that you addressed them in and how many duties you've added to their plate. If you've been unreasonable in any way, then you might have scared them off. Put yourself out there. Apologize and treat them to a quick lunch at your home or just order pizza and watch a movie. This apology will show them that you're aware of how they feel, you respect them, and your lunch can bond you guys. It's a good idea to get away from the wedding stress.
3 Some of Your Bridesmaids Drop Out Of The Wedding
As your wedding day gets super close, you're probably going to get a few calls from guests who can no longer make it. People get sick or stuck at their jobs all the time, and it's very likely that a few of your guests don't show up. Unless a serious medical emergency occurs, none of those calls should come from your bridal party, though. These people are those closest to you and understand all of the stress you've been under and want to be present for the payoff. So, if they drop out close to the wedding, it means that you've abused their friendship in some way. They might not tell you this, but it's a huge possibility that you've stuck your foot in your mouth or offended them. Most people, even those that are angry, won't do anything to stress out the bride until the wedding. So, they might pull out of the wedding, but make an excuse for it to spare your feelings when they're really just tired of your crazy shenanigans. You can bet, though, that it will be brought up again. If you don't let them go gracefully, it might be sooner than you'd hoped.
2 Your Registry is Ridiculous
Wedding registries are a godsend for most new couples. Depending on your age, you might not have accumulated enough furniture to fill a house yet, so you can use your registry to get the little odds and ends for you new home/apartment. But if you abuse it, people are going to think you're crazy. Registries, in a way, are like having access to blank checks. You have total control over your wedding gifts. Your family and friends may be buying the gifts, but since you told them exactly that you want, you will be happy. Your people will be so wrapped up in seeing you happy that they might spring for your 300 dollar sheets, but trust, when they come down from that high, they're going to question your sanity. No one likes feeling duped or taken advantaged of, so cool it on the lavish gifts. Unless, of course, you're buying it yourself.
1 You've Forgotten The Whole Purpose Behind The Wedding
Most brides put a lot effort into their wedding because they expect it to be the best day of their life. What many brides forget, though, is that the wedding is the first day of the rest of their lives with their new husband. It should be great, yes, but you should really be looking forward to your future together: buying a new home, having kids, and growing old together. When the wedding day is over, the little moments are what matter. If you've gotten so wrapped up in your wedding, that you have forgotten why you're even getting married, then you're doing it all wrong. It's not too late, though. You do not have to transform into a full-on bridezilla. Take a step back, relax and really think about the motivations behind your actions. Yes, the day should be special, magical and all of those positive adjectives, but your life afterward will be ten times more satisfying.