No parent will admit that they have a favorite child, but that’s okay. We can usually tell when they do! It doesn’t always mean that they love one son or daughter more than the others, it just means that they can’t help showing preference, which is lots of fun if you’re the "other" child. Just kidding! It’s never fun to be the second-best child. The favoritism carries on into adulthood too, and childhood memories are a good indication of the way things really are. There are lots of old sayings claiming there are definite ways to tell which kid is the fave, like how moms are supposed to favor sons, dads are supposed to favor daughters, everybody favors the eldest, and contrastingly, everybody favors the youngest. The rules are a bit contradictive and confusing, so we’ve come up with 15 much more realistic ways to tell if your sibling is your parents’ favorite.
15 Your Rents Spend More On Them
Money talks, guys. Parents will usually spend more money on the child that they prefer. Things might appear even on paper, but if a mom or dad likes one child better, don’t worry, they’ll find ways to sneakily slip them a little more money than they’re slipping you. It’s only usually a bit here and there, but it adds up. They might pay the same amount for both of your weddings and all of your birthday presents, but when your brother or sister goes back home, they’ll get a small amount just for visiting. When they leave for vacations, they still get spending money. Still! It doesn’t just stop with the parents, by the way. Favorite children tend to also be favorite nephews, nieces, cousins, and grandchildren. The extended family, in general, tend to spend more money on them than they do on you, and that’s how you tell that they’re the widespread favorite.
14 Their Achievements Are A Bigger Deal
When the golden child does anything at all, it’s a big deal. Even if it doesn’t seem like a huge thing to you, your parents will celebrate it as if it were. They’ll get pats on the back when they spend one day eating healthy or dropping some loose change into a charity bucket, meanwhile, you’ve completely transformed your body and host fundraising events for great causes every weekend, and you don’t even get acknowledgment from mom and dad. And the earth just about moves off its plates when your sibling actually does something worthy of praise. Your parents will throw parties and buy them presents and will generally be incapable of suppressing their excitement. But when it’s you doing something of note, you get a forced smile. You may get the same parties thrown, but without the enthusiasm. You can totally tell it’s just a formality to make things look equal.
13 They Always Got Away With More
This one was overly obvious when you were little. If your sibling is the favorite, then it’s guaranteed they would have been able to commit a string of terrible events and your parents would have looked the other way. Well, maybe not certain things, but they definitely got away with more stuff than you. If they were younger, they probably broke things and caused so much trouble around the house, but mom and dad always said that accidents happen. If they were older, they were pretty much free to push you around. If they kicked up a big enough fuss, they could get out of visiting family and attending boring events, but you always had to go, no matter what. During the teenage years, they probably got caught sneaking out and all they received was a lecture, but when you got caught sneaking out you were grounded. It wasn’t fair, but it did happen!
12 Your Parents Brag About Them
Very few parents can resist gloating about their golden child. You can tell if your sibling is the favorite if they’re always the first one your parents bring up when talking to others. You know those parents who talk so much about one child that you nearly forgot that they had another? They’ll brag about the tiniest things that your sibling did, and always embellish their stories to make your sibling appear superhuman-like. The bragging doesn’t stop there though. They’ll have photographic evidence of how amazing your brother or sister is all over the house (literally in every single room) as well as little pictures in their wallets that they can pull out to support their bragging. If your sibling ever won any trophies or medals, you won’t ever stop hearing about it, and those awards will be on full display for any visitor to see, even after they move out.
11 Mom And Dad Always Take Their Side
Any second-best sibling knows this feeling all too well! If a parent favors one child, in particular, they will always take their side, no matter what. When you were a child, that meant that any trivial fights that took place over the TV or Halloween candy were always judged with your sibling’s interests in mind. Even if your sibling was clearly in the wrong, your parents never saw it. Well, they probably saw it deep down, but they never cared! If it was ever your word against theirs, they would always be trusted. Even if there were third-party witnesses for crying out loud! Now that you’re older and the arguments that you have with your sibling are a bit more adult-like, you can bet that your mom and dad will still more often than not take their side over yours. They must always be right, even when they’re obviously wrong!
10 Everything You Do Is Compared To Them
You know that you’re not your parents’ favorite child when every little thing you do is judged in comparison with what your sibling has done. This can be done in a positive way; you might finally land your dream job and your mom’s first comment is, “I’m so glad you’re following in your sister’s footsteps!” Even though she means it in the nicest way possible, you still end up feeling crappy because you just want to be your own person every now and then, and your sister’s footsteps are the last thing you’re thinking about when something amazing happens in your life. You’re also bound to be compared to them in a negative way from time to time. “Your brother was married with two kids at your age and you’re still dating no-hopers!” says your dad after you tell him you have a date for tonight. It sucks big time!
9 Your Parents Have Inside Jokes With Them
Happy families are great, and it would be pretty annoying if your family members couldn’t get along harmoniously at all. But with favorite siblings, there’s a little too much harmony. Every time you walk in the room, your parents are gripping their stomachs in laughter at something your brother said, which you don’t understand at all. And it’s funny because you can’t remember the last time you made any of your parents laugh like that, even when you tried. Even your funniest jokes fall kind of flat and receive pity laughs if you’re lucky. But your sibling just has to say one line that you don’t get, and it’s the funniest thing mom and dad ever heard. They always bring it up around you but never bother to explain it, and you actually kind of feel like you’re back in high school, cast out of the cool group all over again.
8 They Always Got What They Wanted
The darling child of the family was always made a priority, so they’re easy to identify. If your sibling always got exactly what they wanted, even if it meant that you had to miss out on something, chances are they were the fave. Family dinners are the classic example. Your favorite food was roast chicken, and theirs was homemade burgers. Guess what the ratio of roast chicken to homemade burgers was on a weekly basis? Yep, totally uneven. You were lucky if your mom made what you liked once a week, while she made your sibling’s preferred meal way more frequently. She even jokingly apologized to them when they had to eat food they didn’t like, but you always were questioned about why you weren’t eating your homemade burgers. They always got first preference about what activities to do on the weekends, and where to go on summer vacation, and you tagged along.
7 Mom And Dad Worry About Them More
Even though the favorite was always allowed to get away with more, it was clear that your parents worried about their well-being more than they worried about yours. This happens a lot with the first-born, because once they’ve survived a few challenging times, the parents just assume that the rest will too. Sorry to say it, but your brother or sister is probably the favorite if your parents were up all night worrying the first time they went to a club, but were sound asleep the first time you got home at four in the morning. The first time the favorite sibling goes abroad alone, there are tears for days and the emotion at the airport is too much. When you go, they say goodbye to you the night before and maybe call you a taxi in the morning. Tell yourself it’s because they know you’re so much more competent and capable!
6 They Never Had As Many Chores As You
It’s safe to say that children who were allocated significantly more chores than their siblings were probably not the favorite. It wasn’t a clear thing where your parents outwardly gave you ten things to do around the house and your sibling five, but it’s all the little, unofficial things that matter. If you were both hanging around the kitchen before dinner, you’d get asked to set the table, even if your sibling was just sitting there. You’d get asked to bring the dishes up to the sink because your sibling was busy watching something on TV. This happens much more frequently than we wish it did with brothers. Particularly if your family is big on the 1950s ideals, he might have been the favorite just because of his gender, and you would be given a ton more chores. And between us, he probably turned out as kind of a douche.
5 You Know That They Secretly Discuss You
We hope that there are no bullies in your family, but it’s pretty common for parents to trash-talk one child with the child they prefer, especially once you’re an adult. It wouldn’t happen all the time, and you’ve never explicitly heard them talking, but you just have a feeling that they do. Maybe you saw them give each other a look once when you brought something up, or perhaps you walked in on them during a conversation and they mysteriously and frantically changed the subject. The thing is, parents and golden children are very often best friends, so if they have opinions about anyone, they’re going to share them with each other. And unfortunately, if you’re not the fave, then you’re not above being a topic of conversation. They still love you, but they also love making comments! You tell yourself they’re so lame and you don’t care, but you secretly do.
4 Your Parents Want Their Advice
If your sibling is the so-called chosen one, your parents probably seek out their opinion a lot more than they do yours. You can try to convince yourself that it’s because they appreciate that you’re busy and don’t want to bother you, but really, they just value their advice more than they do yours. It doesn’t necessarily mean that they think you’re stupid, or that you give terrible advice. They just don’t think to ask you because you’re simply not the favorite. By the time you pop into their minds they’re already deep in conversation with your sibling, believing that they’re on the way to fixing all their life problems. This is so annoying when you actually have great advice to give because it doesn’t matter how much you prove yourself, you’ll never be the one whom they think of first. Do you know what, though, second-best sibling? It’s their freaking loss!
3 Mom And Dad Are More Accepting Of Their Partners
One of the strongest indicators of which kid is the most beloved lies in the way the parents react to their partners. There’s a strong chance that the golden child’s boyfriend or girlfriend will soon become just as adored and accepted as them, and you won’t just be up against the favorite sibling anymore; you’ll be up against the favorite couple. In these cases, it doesn’t matter how fantastic your partner is. You could bring home LeBron James and he still wouldn’t be as great as your brother or sister’s partner. Sometimes, though, parents can be totally protective of the favorite child, and believe that nobody is good enough for them. Another sign that your sibling is the fave actually occurs on the opposite end of the scale, where all their partners are judged harshly and need to be pretty much flawless. In that case, be thankful you’re not the golden one!
2 Mom And Dad Act Weird When Asked About It
If you have ever asked your parents if they do like (not love!) your sibling more than you, they probably said no and laughed nervously at you even coming to such a conclusion. That doesn’t give you the all-clear, we’re afraid because parents aren’t always portraits of honesty. They’re obviously never going to tell you that your brother or sister is the favorite unless they’re hardcore and relentless. But when you ask, they act weird. Picture Kris Jenner trying to answer questions about which of her kids she likes the best, and picture the way she struggles to pretend that she doesn’t like Kim the most. It’s those awkward and terrible acting jobs that really let you know that things are unfortunately not as equal as they would like you to believe. Don’t let it get you down, though—there’s nothing wrong with being the Kourtney or Khloé of the fam!
1 They Know They’re The Fave
The bottom line is favorite children tend to know that they’re the favorite. They see the special treatment they’ve always received and take note of all that effort and time put into them and their endeavors. So if your sibling believes they’re the favorite, there’s a good chance that they are. They push things further than you would dare to because they know they get away with more and aren’t afraid to ask for anything because they know what the answer will always be. In other words, golden children can end up being a little bit spoiled. It definitely sucks when you aren’t the most beloved child in your family, but you can always take comfort in the fact that it hasn’t made you an entitled person. Hopefully, if you can take anything from your experience, it’s the strong desire to treat all your future children as equally as possible.