When you introduce your friend to your boyfriend, of course you want them to get along. But when a friend is attracted to your man, it can make your interactions very uncomfortable. You want to trust her because she’s your girl - your A-1 from day one. She would never try to hook up with your man, right? Sadly, some friends will do whatever it takes to steal your man right from underneath your nose. Like singer Shania Twain’s BFF who betrayed her by having an affair with her husband of 14 years. Ouch, that's gotta hurt.
Friends aren’t always loyal, and you may think she’s just being nice and friendly, but secretly, your friend wants your boyfriend…and she wants him bad. But you can’t just go around and start accusing her of having a secret plan of trying to lure your guy into her arms. You have to sit back and look for all the signs before you make any rash decisions. If you’re not sure if your friend has the hots for your boyfriend, this list of 15 signs will make things crystal clear.
15 She Talks About Him Constantly
One of the easiest ways to find out if your friend wants your boyfriend is to pay attention to the things that she says. If your guy is constantly on her mind, she will find any way to bring him up in your conversations. Whether you all are talking about your recent trip to the spa, a juice cleanse that gave her major diarrhea, or a party your crew will be attending on Saturday, the friend who has it bad for your boyfriend will slip his name into each and every scenario. Even when you try to change the subject, she will still find a way to wiggle his name into the convo. You’ll probably be sitting there, scratching your head and wondering how he is always the topic of conversation. It is because your friend has a huge crush on him, and she obviously can’t get him off of her mind.
14 She Knows Things About Him That You Don't
When you start a new relationship, you spend a lot of time getting to know your boyfriend, his likes, his dislikes, his past, and his goals. Of course you don’t know everything about him, but you have all the bases covered. But if you notice that your friend has more information about your boyfriend than you do, this is a major red flag. Imagine you’re telling her about the time your boyfriend chipped his tooth in the second grade, and she chimes in, “Actually, it happened when he was in the THIRD grade!” Give her a major side eye, because she definitely wants your man! A friend who can give you all the details about what your man was doing the other day, or if she knows secrets about his past that he hasn’t shared with you, it’s pretty clear that she is having conversations with your guy behind your back.
13 Other People Are Catching On
People are going to talk about you and your relationship no matter what, so keep your ears open to the gossip if you want to know for sure if your friend has the hots for your boyfriend. If you want to confirm that your sneaky friend is getting closer to your guy, ask for a second opinion. If you know someone who’s not entirely in your circle, but they are cordial with your boyfriend and your friend, ask them what they think about your friend getting closer to your guy. If someone on the outside can provide an unbiased opinion, they will either confirm your fears or tell you that there is nothing to worry about. But chances are, if you really have to get a third party involved in this situation, then you more than likely already know the answer to your question. Take that information and do what you have to do to protect your relationship!
12 They Have Inside Jokes
You know the feeling when you’ve been with your boyfriend for so long that the two of you start to share inside jokes with each other? This is a sign that your relationship is strengthening, and the two of you are bonding and getting closer than ever. But what if your friend also has inside jokes with your guy? If you all are hanging out in a group, and one of your friends mumbles something strange under her breath, and your guy starts laughing like there’s no tomorrow, this is definitely a bad sign. Your friend has created her own bond with your guy which includes some inside jokes that you’re not privy to. You have to ask yourself, “When did they even have the time to establish this kind of bond?” Someone definitely has some explaining to do! Not only are your friend’s actions inappropriate, but it’s pretty obvious that she has a big crush on your guy!
11 You Feel It In Your Gut
Sometimes you don’t even have to receive confirmation with your own eyes to know that something isn’t right. You just get that tingling feeling in your gut, or a knot in your throat that tells you something is unbalanced. Don’t worry, you’re not going crazy. It’s your intuition talking to you, so it’s time for you to start listening! If your heart starts racing, and you feel an uneasy feeling deep down inside whenever your friend is in the same room as your boyfriend, there could be a reason why you’re feeling a little bit anxious.
Even if your friend would never act on her desires, the fact that she even has a crush on your boyfriend is enough to send your life into a tailspin. So pay attention to those gut feelings whenever they pop up. Ask yourself why you’re feeling uneasy, and take it from there. Have trust in your instincts, because they’re never wrong.
10 You Feel Like the Third Wheel
Whenever you hang out with your boyfriend and your friend, do you feel like you’re just tagging along? Maybe they walk slowly behind you while you stroll through the mall, or maybe they’re always completely focused on each other and engaging in deep conversations whenever you guys hang out. You sort of feel like the third wheel, and it makes you feel uncomfortable. You almost forget that he’s your boyfriend.
If your friend is purposely trying to shut you out of the conversation when you spend time together, it could be a sign that she’s really digging your boyfriend. But you shouldn’t be the one to feel out of the loop or ostracized. If anything, your friend is the one who should be the third wheel, not you! Try to steer the conversation back on topics that all of you could discuss, or better yet, just stop inviting your friend out when you’re with your boyfriend. Problem solved.
9 She Tells You to Invite Him
You’re really looking forward to getting out of the house and having a girls night out. You already have your outfit picked out, you have a bottle of wine chilling in the fridge, you're doing the finishing touches on your smoky eye, and your Uber is already on the way! Suddenly, you get a text from your friend that says, “Hey! It’s totally OK if you bring your guy along!” Um, what?!
If this happens once or twice, it’s definitely not a big deal. But if your friend is constantly asking you to bring your boyfriend along to events, she probably has a crush on him. She’s just using you as a way to get closer to him, but don’t fall for it, girl! Remind her that it’s supposed to be a girls night out, or tell her your man has other plans. If you do end up bringing him along, guess what will happen? Scroll back up to #10 in case you forgot.
8 She’s All Over His Social Media
At first you were so excited that your friend and your guy really got along. As soon as you introduced them, your friend immediately added him to Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and Snapchat. But slowly, you realized your friend was paying a too much attention to your guy’s online activity. Every time he posted a status update, she was the first to “like” it. And whenever he added a new photo on Instagram, she would always comment first. But things really got out of hand when she posted a picture herself and your guy on her Twitter. First of all, you don’t even remember when they had the opportunity to take that photo, and second of all, WTF?!
This girl has clearly lost her marbles, and on top of that, she’s crushing hard on your boyfriend! The idea of social media is to be social, but she’s taking things way too far.
7 She Calls You Crazy
Now that you’re pretty sure your friend wants to be with your boyfriend, you think it’s about time you confront her. So you setup a face-to-face meeting at the local diner, and you run down your list of reasons why you think she has the hots for your man. The evidence is pretty clear, and even Stevie Wonder can see that your friend is practically in love with your boo.
But instead of saying, “I’m really sorry you feel that way, but I definitely don’t have feelings for him,” your friend unleashes a load of insults. She will try to point the finger back at you, and call you a crazy lunatic. But don’t fall for this tactic! She’s definitely trying to shift the blame to take the heat off of herself. She knows she’s in the wrong, and she’s only mad that you’re on to her. Don’t even bother hurling insults back at her either. Her reaction to your concerns is enough to let you know that you definitely have a reason to believe she’s trying to get with your guy behind your back.
6 She Defends Him
Having a really good friend in your corner is priceless. You know she will always have your back, and she will defend you even if you’re wrong. If you’re getting ganged up on during an argument, she will jump in to back you up. But the friend who has eyes for your boyfriend will never stand up for you.
If you and your guy get into a petty argument during your next group outing, and your friend defends your guy over you, just know that she might be interested in him. It hurts to know that your friend has taken your guy’s side, but don’t take it personally. This is her way of trying to get his attention and to make herself look better by siding with him. Too bad this tactic isn’t going to do her any good. You and your man will probably kiss and makeup, and guess who gets to go home with him at the end of the night? You do!
5 She Gives Horrible Advice
Lets say you and your boyfriend just got into a heated argument. You reach out to your friend for advice, and she suggests that you dump him. A week later, your guy forgets to put the toilet seat down. You casually mention it to your friend, and again, she tells you to dump him. And just yesterday, you were telling her about the time your guy accidentally bleached your black t-shirt. Her response? “Wow, I would have dumped him for that.”
Now that you think about it, whenever you have an issue with your guy, whether it be something big or small, she always wants you to dump him. Do you notice a pattern here? She wants you to get rid of the guy so she can have him for herself! The friend who has it bad for your boyfriend will always give you horrible advice because she wants to take your spot.
4 She Tries to Make You Look Bad
A good friend will always celebrate your accomplishments. She will brag about you to anyone who will listen, and she’s always the first to congratulate you when you do something awesome. But the sneaky friend who has the hots for your boyfriend will always try to make you look bad. The next time your boyfriend and your friend are in the same room, pay close attention to how your friend acts around you. Is she anxious to throw you under the bus? Does she mock you? Does she make fun of your clothing and makeup? She could be trying to make you look bad so that she looks better. It’s her own insecurities that are seeping out, and she’s only making herself look bad in the long run. The next time she tries to throw you under the bus in front of your boo, don’t be afraid to put her in her place!
3 She Gets Giddy
You know those butterflies you feel every time your guy walks into the room? Your friend who’s interested in him probably feels those same flutters in her tummy. And unfortunately, she won’t be able to hide her attraction. Whenever your guy comes around, she will probably start acting very juvenile, and she will get really giddy like she’s back in elementary school. You’ve known her for years, and you know how she acts when she’s really digging a guy. So when she starts to giggle uncontrollably, and she stumbles over her words whenever she is in your man’s presence, you know that she definitely has a major crush on him.
If you have noticed that your friend starts to act really awkward around your boyfriend is around, take it as a red flag that she has inappropriate feelings for him. Keep an eye on her, and your best bet is to make sure she keeps her distance from him!
2 She Texts Him Behind Your Back
Your phone died during your last girls night out, so you used your friend’s phone to call your guy and let him know you would be home a little late. Unbeknownst to you, your friend saved your guy’s phone number in her contact list, and she has been texting him behind your back ever since! Once you finally realized what was going on, your guy showed you their chain of messages, and he promised their conversations were strictly platonic. He was right, the texts were pretty harmless, but that’s not the point! You’re in your feelings about it, and you definitely have a reason to feel upset.
Texting a friend’s boyfriend is a major no-no, and in this case, your friend is texting your man so that she can get closer to him. Don’t let this slide, because before you know it, she will be sending him inappropriate selfies next!
1 She Invites Him Out Without Including You
And lastly, the major sign that your friend has a thing for your boyfriend is if your invite gets lost in the mail. The friend who wants your guy will invite him out, but she will make sure you’re not included in the outing. When you confront her, she’ll come up with some excuse like, “But you always work late so I figured you would be busy!” This is not acceptable, and she is playing you for a fool! This is something that needs to be addressed immediately.
Your friend should know not to overstep your boundaries by extending an invitation to your guy that doesn’t include you. And your boyfriend? Well, he is probably clueless, and he thinks she’s just being nice by allowing him to tag along. But you already know she wants your man, so the two of them hanging out when you’re nowhere around is a recipe for disaster!