Jealously is never an attractive quality, and when you're in a serious relationship, you never want to feel like a total green-eyed monster around your boyfriend. And you definitely don't want him to get jealous of you because that's just annoying. But sometimes you can't help but feel super envious... particularly if your boyfriend has a bunch of female friends. Sure, you don't really want to be that person, and you know that trust and communication are a crazy important part of any healthy and happy relationship. You can't have a good relationship without those things, no matter how hard you try and no matter how hard you want things to be otherwise. So what do you do when your boyfriend has a ton of friends who are girls? If you're suspicious, you have every right to be worried, but only if the right signs are there. Here are 15 signs you should be worried about his female friends.
If your boyfriend has a huge group of friends and a bunch of them are girls who basically hate you, you should definitely be worried. Who wouldn't be, right? He would feel the exact same way if the situation was completely reversed and you had a bunch of male friends who weren't super thrilled about him. The fact is that why would they loathe you and be annoyed that you're in your boyfriend's life if there wasn't something to be super suspicious about and worried about? Doesn't that just prove that they're all secretly in love with him? Hey, you might think that sounds nuts but you fell for him, right? So you definitely know how great he is. That's basically why he's your boyfriend. If you don't get along with them because they just won't give you a chance and they refuse to be nice to you, you should definitely be cautious about this.
If your boyfriend's female friends like to get him alone and they do not invite you along, whether they are heading to the latest horror movie or trying the latest pub in their neighborhood, you should be pretty concerned. If they know that you are in a super serious relationship, why would they not invite you? Why would they not want to get to know you better and make sure that you feel like you are a part of their social group? There's really no excuse for exclusion. You're not back in high school... or even back in junior high. This is pretty ridiculous and just proves that they have a crush on him and their feelings are not as platonic as your boyfriend probably thinks. But you need to tread carefully because he's not going to love your accusations since he's probably super naive and innocent about this whole thing.
If you see your boyfriend's friends who are girls flirting with him -- even if he has literally no idea that this is going on -- then you have every reason to be as green-eyed as you want to be. You have no choice, really, because they want your boyfriend and they want him now. You shouldn't have to pry him away from his friends when you're at a party or event because you can't believe how super flirty they're being. That's just not fair and it shouldn't be happening at all. He would hate if your guy friends did that to you. So you absolutely need to bring this up and have a long, good conversation with him. It's going to be awkward and it's going to probably hurt a little bit because you're going to feel super insecure (even though you're not and you're totally right to feel this way). He might even get really mad at you. So be prepared.
If you've had bad experiences with a boyfriend's female friends in the past, then it's no wonder that you're starting to think that this might be a real problem in the present. As they love to say, your past often comes back to haunt you. It's not super fun or enjoyable but it's just one of those things. If you're getting major deja vu, then there's nothing wrong with telling your boyfriend how you feel. Mention that you've had this happen before in your previous relationships and that things never ended well. Hey, maybe the reason you dumped your last boyfriend was because his female friends were getting way too involved in your relationship. You should never be afraid to have a tough talk with the person that you're supposed to care about the most. These things are never easy in the short term but they always work out somehow in the long term, so be brave and courageous and talk to your boyfriend.
If your boyfriend is upset about someone that one of his female friends is dating, then that's a real concern for you, whether or not you really want to admit it. It's totally possible that he's jealous, because why would he hate his friend's boyfriend so much? The truth is that while you may hate your friends' boyfriends because you think they're not good enough for them or they treat them badly, guys don't usually think the same way about who their friends date. They tend to not even notice those things at all. Maybe it's because girls are more obsessed with drama and think about relationship problems more. If your boyfriend seems upset and concerned, then you might want to adopt those emotions, too, and wonder if he's truly in this relationship with you for the long term. It really doesn't make sense that he would get so concerned.
If you have a weird feeling in your gut, then you should probably listen instead of ignoring it. Your gut exists for a really, really good reason. You should pretty much love your gut more than anything else because it always knows what's up, even when you have zero clue. If you feel kind of weird hanging out with your boyfriend and his female friends, then your gut instincts are telling you (or pretty much shouting from the rooftops) that there is something seriously wrong. You feel that something is off, and while you don't want to accuse your boyfriend of cheating on you without a ton of evidence and proof, you can't ignore how you feel. You should never feel strange about your relationship because life is hard enough and relationships aren't supposed to be quite that ridiculously difficult to navigate. Sure, you're going to have your ups and downs and hiccups but it shouldn't feel so weird and tricky all the time.
If your friends and family are starting to catch on to the fact that there's something seriously up with your boyfriend and his female friends, well, that definitely tells you everything that you need to know, right? You should never be embarrassed by your boyfriend or by anything that's going on in your relationship. If you are, then something needs to change and preferably sooner rather than later so you can save this relationship that you've worked so hard to build and that you've already put so much time, effort and energy into. You might have no idea that you should even be embarrassed but once your best friend, your sister or your mom brings up your boyfriend's weird flirtation or behavior, then you suddenly realize that you have every right to be annoyed... and that you're also kind of humiliated, too. Yeah, you probably don't want to feel this way at all.
Being in a relationship means that you share your thoughts, feelings, and everyday life stuff with that person. Sure, that does not mean that you do not share your bad day at the office with your best friend in the world, or that you don't still rely on your parents sometimes. But it does mean that you should be sharing those things with your boyfriend, otherwise there's really no point to even be seeing him at all. It's a two-way street, though, and you should expect your boyfriend to do the same thing. If he's not, though, and if he's telling his female friends how he feels about anything, whether it's work or stress or even his relationship with you, then you should definitely be concerned. There's no way around it, you're going to need to address this problem. It's not going to be fun. But it will help you.
Back in the day, aka a few years ago, writing on someone's Facebook wall was a total surefire sign that you had a big crush on them. You've moved on from those days and don't really do that anymore since it seems pretty immature. Plus there's the fact that social media has changed so much that you now have quite a few different social media accounts, and you're not super hyper-focused on that one. But if your boyfriend's female friends won't stop tagging him in photos and commenting on his Facebook statues and Instagram posts, something is super fishy about this. They're doing this absolutely on purpose. They know that you would be annoyed, and that could even be why they keep doing this. So watch out for them... and for your boyfriend too. Talk to him about why they're posting so much and try to get to the bottom of it.
Maybe you've even had an issue in your relationship that has to do with your boyfriend's female friends... and that is definitely a good reason to bring this up the next time you see him. If something has happened before, well, it's probably going to happen again. And that's not your fault. It just means that you didn't really deal with the root of the issue, even if you think that you did, and he thinks so, too. Don't blame yourself, though. This just means that you have to keep dealing with the problem and that it's still essentially tearing you and your boyfriend apart. So if you care about saving your relationship, and you most likely do, then you really need to talk to him about this and figure out why he's still so involved with his female friends. It's always awkward and rough to admit that something is wrong, whether that has to do with work or friendship or love, but you're not doing yourself any favors by ignoring the fact that the problem has come right back.
It's not necessarily true that every single female friend of your boyfriend is in love with him, or even has a small crush on him. It's possible that one of them has your best interests in mind and really gets along with you. So if you've been warned by one of his friends about another one of his female friends, that's a sign that something is wrong and that this is something you have to face head-on instead of just wishing it didn't exist. It's a big deal to tell someone that you're worried about their boyfriend, or that you think they might be cheating on them, or that something is just seriously up. So thank his friend for talking to you and being honest, even if you kind of want to just scream at them to mind their own business. Chances are, if one of his friends is noticing that something is weird, then that's because it's not a normal friendship.
An oldie but a goodie. The classic way to tell if your boyfriend is cheating on you or even thinking about it would be to see if he's always on his phone (or his MacBook, as the case might be). It's a classic for a super good reason because this is honestly a good way to tell if you should be concerned about the girls that he's good friends with. If your boyfriend is always on his iPhone when he's with you, you have to seriously consider why that might be. After all, you're right in front of him, right? You're hanging out with him and he should he focusing on you 100 percent instead of texting or checking social media. Ask him what he's doing. If he blushes or looks embarrassed or stammers, then you know that something is up. If he tells you and he really is just spending more time on social media these days, then at least you have your answer and you can tell him to pay more attention to you.
If your boyfriend is the one doing the flirting with his female friends, then he's probably doing it on purpose. No, scratch that. He's definitely doing that on purpose. He's trying to make you jealous and you absolutely need to be worried because you have to ask him why he's doing this. Does he think that you're not paying him enough attention? Is he feeling super insecure in the relationship? Does he want the two of you to spend more time together and do more fun things? Talk to him about this and tell him that there's really no reason for him to want to make you jealous because let's face it, it's pretty lame and immature. It's also not fair to you because you're trying your best in this relationship and if he's going to start playing games, then he needs to realize that you might not stick around too much longer. Sure, this isn't a super fun thing to think about, but you're going to worse off in the long run if you don't consider it.
If you feel you're at the point where you want to tell your boyfriend that it's you or his friends -- that he honestly has to make a decision and choose between these two options -- then you should be worried. Because you are, and you can't imagine not being so totally and completely freaked out. It took you long enough to meet this guy and you really like how things are going so far, but you're not going to sit around like an idiot while his female friends are trying to be so super involved in his life. If you want to give him an ultimatum, then you have two choices. You can give him one, for sure, or you can just go ahead and break up with him. Because if you think that you might not get the answer that you're looking for and wanting (as in, he's going to choose his female friends) then you might want to leave while you still have your pride and dignity intact.
There's something about guys and girls where they just can't be friends. It's pretty much the greatest debate on the planet, but it doesn't really need to be because the fact is that most of the time, platonic friendships between the genders are pretty impossible. Usually, one person has feelings, if not both of them, and even if they're super under the radar and they're not even aware of how they truly feel, those emotions are still there. So if your boyfriend has a female best friend, you might want to be careful and you might want to keep an eye on that. Sure, you don't want to be ridiculous and unfair, but the truth is that it's not super normal for a guy to have a best friend who's a girl. There's usually something going on, or there was in the past. So go ahead and be worried -- and get to the bottom of this before it's too late for your relationship to be saved.