Being single can be the best or the worst thing ever, depending on who you are, your attitude, and how pessimistic or optimistic you are. Of course, everyone wants to find love and have that one special person who knows all their secrets and their fave junk food. But sometimes you find yourself without a boyfriend for a lot longer than you would like, and it's all thanks to circumstance. You're just not meeting any guys (or any nice guys, for that matter), and unfortunately, something seems to be going around in the dating world because your best friends aren't really hitting it off with anyone cool, either. Sigh. Double sigh. But sometimes your single status isn't actually the worst thing in the world, and it could actually be a blessing... at least at this time in your life. Here are 15 signs that you need to stay single for a while.
You think that the world owes you something... and that it owes you a whole lot. You want so much more than you have, whether that's your condo, car, job, etc. You think you should be promoted and pretty much running your company at this point, and you definitely expected to be wearing a honking diamond ring on your left ring finger at this point in time. But if you're entitled and feel like the world owes you a relationship and a marriage, sorry but that's just not happening. You need to be humble and the kind of person that someone would actually want to date, let alone marry. If you show entitlement in any way, shape or form, you really should stay without a boyfriend until you can get over yourself and act like a normal human being once again.
You hate your life, pretty much. Your job isn't anywhere close to your dream job, your apartment is tiny and you have a horrible roomie, your friends are all coupled up and you feel like the biggest loser that every walked this earth. If you're that miserable and depressed, you 100 percent need to halt your dating expeditions and stay single for a least a little while longer, because no guy is going to find any of your misery attractive. If you're happy, you attract happy people and vice versa. So if you go on a first date and complain about all the things that you hate about your life and all the things that you wish were happening, the guy sitting across from you nursing a beer is going to be super annoyed, bored and turned off. You would feel these same way if the tables were turned, wouldn't you? Can you really blame him?
Your life is work, work, work and zero play. You don't have fun, pretty much. More than that, you refuse to even listen to anyone who suggests that you come out of your hiding place and enjoy yourself. You turn down party invites, you never want to go to happy hour with your best girlfriends, and you even talk about your job 24/7. The thing is that no one, whether it's your friends or a potential boyfriend, really wants to hear about your career quite that much. Sure, you deserve to be happy and of course, work is super important. But you can't be a total broken record who never shuts up about what you do for a living. You need to develop some hobbies, interests, and activities, and then you'll be a real potential partner.
Ugh, this is pretty much the worst thing that you can do at this point. If you're still obsessing over your last boyfriend (or even a few boyfriends ago!) then you have zero business getting back out there, as they say. You can't think about dating at all because you're going to compare every new guy to your ex-boyfriend, and that's not fair to you or the poor new guy. You might even still be in the horrible social media stalking phase of the break-up/mourning process, and that really means you need to take a step back and stay solo. You would hate it if the guy you just started dating was still thinking about his ex, right? Right. So don't be that awful, annoying person who talks about their latest break-up on a first date. Just don't.
Okay, so no one's perfect. Life is one big great coming-of-age story and you're always learning and growing and learning some more. If you waited until your life had achieved total and utter perfection to date, you would never date because that's just never going to happen, no matter who you are. Nope, not even if you're a super famous celebrity with a million dollars. But if some things are pretty off-kilter in your life -- you hate your job, you're not living in the city you want to be, etc. -- then you really need to figure yourself out before you date again. Staying single is the best option when you need to change something or make a big decision. It allows you to really focus and do what you want and what you need instead of thinking about that cute guy that won't stop texting you emojis.
The best time to date is when you're honestly happy with who you are and what your life is like right at this moment. If you can't say you're happy, you need to stay single. Period. There's no way you can date when you're not thrilled about something because you're going to fixate on what's wrong and you might even start complaining about it... and nobody likes a first date whiner. Go ahead and find some inner joy so you don't have to stay single forever. Eat healthier and swap your daily 3 p.m. potato chip binge for some carrots and hummus. Drink breakfast smoothies. Go the gym. Walk more. Stop worrying and stressing so much. When you've done those things and you feel healthy and full of joy, you can stop being single.
Sure, jealousy isn't always the worst thing. Sometimes, at least in business, it can light a fire under your butt and force you to get to work instead of being so lazy all the time. But when it comes to whether or not you need to stay single, jealousy is pretty much the worst. If you're jealous of your best friends who are in happy and serious relationships, or even engaged (or even married!), then you need to stay single a bit longer and really work on yourself. You should never compare yourself to other people, especially your friends. Everyone dates in a different way, at different times, and things happen for everyone at different points. Your love story will never look the same as that of your BFFs. So stop feeling so envious and start being happier for them. You're only going to get some good karma out of the whole deal.
So you're not in the mood to make weird small talk with total strangers and try to see if you have anything in common, let alone a connection and mutual attraction? What's wrong with you? Just kidding. Dating is not the best thing in the world, and no matter how much people say that you just never know and that you need to put yourself out there into the dating scene and try to meet people, sometimes you're just not feeling it. If you don't feel like dating right now, that's a sure sign that you definitely need to stay single. You're not doing yourself or the guys any favors if you go on first dates when your heart and head just aren't in it. You won't give them a real shot and you won't be interested in hearing their stories and opinions and thoughts, and that's just not super fair.
Being realistic is a huge part of the dating scene. You can't exactly expect to meet your true love on every single first date that you go on, or to get engaged after only dating someone for a month or two. So if you're basically the complete opposite of realistic, then you need to be single and focus on yourself for a little while longer. You may want to be in a relationship right now and that's totally fine, but the truth is that you need to spend some time thinking about who and what you really want out of your next relationship. Once you can understand that you won't meet someone who has every single one of your dream qualities and that you have to loosen up a bit, then you'll be ready to get back out there. But until then, it's time to focus on your job, friends and the new season of Orange Is The New Black.
Being lonely and being single is not the greatest combination in the world, but unfortunately, sometimes the two things go together. If you're lonely because you're always in a relationship, then you need to stay single and learn how to be with yourself. You really can learn to enjoy your own company and when you can achieve this, you might actually crave alone time. You'll realize how nice it is to do what you want, when you want, to not fight with someone over the TV remote, to really feel like you know yourself. You can't expect a guy to make you feel less lonely because only you can achieve that for yourself. The best thing to do is ask yourself exactly why you feel this way. You, of course, have family and friends -- so do you need to spend more time with them? What about getting to know your coworkers? If you freelance, what about joining a co-working space or asking a fellow freelancer to work in a coffee shop with you a few days a week?
This may sound like a Catch-22 and it kind of is, but even so, if you're ashamed of being single, that means you really need to stay single. You should never feel bad about who you are or where you are in life. All it means is that you haven't met someone you really connect with and that your past relationships weren't the right ones for you. That's literally all your single status means. It doesn't mean anything else. No, you're not a loser or silly or stupid, and you're definitely capable of loving and being loved in return. So pick yourself back up, stop feeling sorry for yourself, and turn yourself into the kind of person that you would be proud to date. Until you can do that, you shouldn't be dating or entering new relationships, so do the work on yourself.
Maybe you're about to be promoted at work (yay!) and have even more responsibility than you did before. Or you have two more weeks until you can finally move out of your apartment and into a fabulous new place. Or you have to bust your butt to get some work done and be productive before a week-long beach vacation. If you're looking at an approaching deadline, then it's not the greatest time to date, so then you should absolutely stay single. You want to make sure that your head is in the game when you do start dating again, so there's no shame in holding back and focusing on yourself right now. It won't last forever, and you definitely won't be alone for the rest of your life, so there's no use worrying about that. Enjoy your life and what's going on right now.
It's not that dreamers and ambitious women can't possibly be in relationships because that would be pretty crazy, right? Everyone has the right to fall in love, no matter how much they want to make things happen in their business. But if you have dreams and plans and want to start implementing your goals to really design your best life ever, then it's a good idea to not date for the time being. You don't want to get distracted by a cute new guy and want to hang out with him rather than move your career forward. There's nothing wrong with a cute new guy, of course, it's just not the best time for you to meet someone like that. Focus on you right now and later on, you'll have all the time in the world to date and meet tons and tons of attractive people. Promise.
We all put pressure on ourselves about all kinds of things: we think we should have a nicer place to live, more money, a better car, a better job, a husband, etc. It's hard not to feel this way since it's such a crazy materialistic and image-obsessed world that we live in. But if you don't want to pressure yourself to find love, then you definitely shouldn't, and there's no reason why you can't stay single for a bit longer. You're saving your emotional and mental health. You can't force love anyway, so you might as well not even try. There's zero point thinking that you should have met someone by now or that your life should look a certain way because you can't control that stuff, and things happen when they happen. You've probably realized by now that life has a funny way of working out no matter what.
The thing about being single is that you really do feel that sense of total freedom that everyone always talks about. It's like being the boss of your own life. You can't exactly do everything that you want and forget the rest -- you do have to deal with boring real life stuff like dentist appointments and grocery shopping and paying bills -- but for the most part, your days can be spent how you want. You can spend an entire Sunday watching Pretty Little Liars without fighting with a guy over the remote since he wants to watch sports. You don't have to sit through his boring family dinner or feel awkward because his brothers always fight. You can honestly feel free and at peace, so hold onto that while it lasts. If you want to feel more free in your everyday life, then the single life is definitely for you... at least for now.