We all lie from time to time. Kids start lying to test boundaries and assert their independence growing up, but healthy adults usually stop lying since it hurts people. But telling little white lies, on the other hand, are pretty common. We figure that telling them will be less harmful than the truth. Of course, this is not always the case, and it's totally possible that we're just trying to be passive and avoid confrontation since let's be real, we all hate confrontation. We're all going to get lied to at one point or another, but when someone is always lying to us, it's pretty awful since we feel like no one has our best interests in mind. We'd like to think that our friends and family are being honest with us if we're being honest with them. Here are 15 signs that people are lying to you. Now you will be a total expert.
15 They Nod Way Too Much
People often think that they're good at lying but then their body totally betrays them. One sign that someone might be lying to you is if they quickly change the position of their head when you ask them a question. This might be a tactic to try to throw you slightly, or it might be a reaction to them being caught off guard and needing a moment to think about what it is that they're going to say. This is one of those times when you think that someone is lying but you aren't really sure why you think that. Generally, when people are open and honest with you, that means they don't have anything to hide. They won't nod a lot or break your eye contact. Of course, sometimes people do this when they're simply nervous which can make them seem shifty, so it's not always proof that the person that you are talking to is a liar face.
14 They Can't Say Yes Or No
If you ask someone a straightforward question that needs a yes or no answer and they can't pick one, it's a good sign that they're lying. If you asked the question in an open-ended manner that's a little different, but when they dance around the question, there's always a reason. People don't always know what to do when they have to answer a question that they don't want to, so they launch into chatterbox mode to try and figure out what to say. They also do this so they can distract you. If someone stands there and stares at you while gathering their thoughts, you can tell that something is totally off. If they simply answered yes or no they would be directly lying or admitting to something that they didn't want to. All they can do is start talking in circles and hope that you don't realize that they're lying.
13 They Repeat Themselves
When people lie, they're probably going to repeat themselves a lot, whether that's certain parts of their story or whatever they're talking about. They might be trying to convince themselves that they know what they're talking about and they definitely want to convince you as well. But it's a good sign that they don't. If you have a friend that frequently talks about how generous they are, you might notice that they're actually the stingiest person that you know. This is clearly a situation where people are trying to convince themselves and you of something that they want to be the truth. But it's just not the truth. It usually comes from a place of guilt or fear. This can also happen within a single conversation when someone keeps repeating a phrase that has something to do with their story. It feels off when you hear it.
12 You Feel Left Out
Feeling left out as an adult doesn't feel exactly the same that it did in middle school. No wait, it actually feels pretty similar. When all your friends get together without you, it definitely stings a little bit, since you can't help but wonder why no one decided to invite you in the first place. You also can't wonder why they're so comfortable posting about what they're doing all over social media without being worried that you're going to find out. When you're feeling left out, it means that someone is lying to you along the way, or at least doing some pretty strong lying by omission. Otherwise, the event that you weren't invited to would have probably come up in some conversation at some point. If this happens once, who knows. If it happens frequently, it might mean that some people are planning to leave you out, which simply requires lying.
11 They Don't Make Eye Contact
There might be a certain person that you spend a lot of time with who you suspect is lying to you. One hint that they might be is if they aren't making direct eye contact with you, especially if they used to and then they suddenly stopped. Some people are a little more dodgy eyed when they speak than others, but generally, it shouldn't feel distracting to talk to people. When people are lying, they're afraid to get caught so they're more likely to not make eye contact while they speak. The problem is that when people are looking directly at them it comes off as a bit awkward not to look directly back, so they tend to move their eyes around trying to figure out the best place to keep them. That might be your nose, it might mean that they look to your eyes and away over and over again, it might mean that they're looking at the ceiling or even covering their eyes.
10 They Don't Know How To Answer You
If you suspect that someone is lying to you and you ask them why you should believe them, people who are telling the truth will generally just say that they're telling the truth and leave it at that. When people are not being truthful, they're less likely to say that they are outright, although they might give you some other version of that. They might tell you that they're a trustworthy or loyal person. They might actually be trustworthy but that doesn't mean that they're being truthful in this particular moment, of course. If they aren't telling the truth they are way more likely to get agitated in that moment as well. People who are accused of lying but aren't will generally have a response that makes sense, while liars are going to try and turn it around on you to blame you and make you feel bad enough that you take it back.
9 People Pause When They're Talking To You
When people pause while talking to you, it might be because they're making up their story as they go. They pause a lot so they can collect their thoughts and make sure that they're making sense and taking the conversation in the direction that they want it to go in. Even the best liars generally need to think about what they're saying from time to time, and a lot of people who are lying are not actually that great at it so they give themselves away more quickly. There are some people who naturally pause in their conversations, but when it's not a normal habit and then someone starts doing it out of nowhere it can be a sign that they're thinking a lot about what they're saying. They might also be simply crafting their thoughts to come up with the best response for another reason, but it's worth paying attention to and wondering why.
8 They Hide Parts Of Their Body
When people are lying, they are more likely to cover their mouth, throat, and other vulnerable spots on their body. The mouth thing has to do with trying to cover the lie as it's coming out. It's an involuntary reaction and you notice it because people do not usually do that unless they're telling a secret or feel uncomfortable for some reason. They might even reach for a sip of something to drink or take a bit of something for the same reason. When people cover their throats or chest it's often because they feel vulnerable in that moment and are trying to cover up to stay safe. The throat is a very vulnerable place and it's also the place where the voice comes out so that's a common one. Again they probably aren't realizing that they're doing this but on some level, you might. A relaxed person isn't normally trying to hide their neck.
7 Their Breathing Changes
When people are lying, their breathing patterns tend to change. That's because they are super uncomfortable and tense. Their shoulders will rise and then their voice can start to sound more shallow and less authentic. You might notice this voice thing even when people aren't directly lying but they just seem to be somewhat fake. It makes sense that inauthentic behavior often comes from people being uncomfortable, but when a situation is not obviously uncomfortable it can make you wonder what's going on in their head or what you're missing. You might not always be close enough to people to notice the change in their breathing, but you might notice this with a significant other. Especially when you're physically close to them at the moment that their breathing pattern changes. If you ask him something and he tenses up, he's tense for a reason.
6 There's Too Much Eye Contact
When someone doesn't keep eye contact with you, you can usually tell that they are lying or have something to hide. But if there is way too much eye contact, that's just as suspicious. When people are lying, they can also be trying to intimidate you, so they might use the direct stare down as a way to show their power or dominance. This means lots of direct eye contact without a lot of blinking. It seems unnatural because, well, it is. When people are having a relaxed conversation they will make eye contact but they will also blink and look away from time to time without appearing to be shifty. If you feel uncomfortable with someone's eyes bearing down into your soul it might be because they have strange intentions. Pay attention to those feelings. Even if it doesn't turn out that they're lying exactly sometimes those are the exact vibes that alert you that they're up to something else.
5 You're Passed Over For Work Opportunities
Sometimes opportunities at work just aren't for you, and sometimes you get passed over so dramatically that it just feels like something is off. If it feels like something is off, then it just might be. If you can't seem to understand how everyone in the office knew about an opportunity besides you, it might be because people are keeping stuff from you, which would probably mean that they're also lying to you. This can be particularly unnerving in the workplace since getting overlooked a lot can sometimes mean that you're not currently on an upward path. Or it might mean that a coworker has it out for you, which definitely isn't great. If you repeatedly feel like the odd person out at work and can't seem to figure out what you're missing, it might simply be that people are making sure that you're missing that information.
4 Things Just Don't Add Up
Sometimes it takes a long time to confirm that someone is actually lying to you, while other times it happens more quickly. But while you're waiting suspiciously pay attention to what it is that's happening that is making you so suspicious. If things simply don't add up, it's a good sign that something is off even if you don't know what it is. For example, you might show up at a restaurant and then the hostess tells you that there are no reservations with your name on it, even though you called ahead. Sometimes lies seem really small and it's hard to imagine that they are in fact lies. You end up thinking that you're the crazy person in the situation for thinking that this person is lying to you. But you probably wouldn't be wondering if things actually added up. You just have to pay attention and then you can figure it out.
3 You Get Blamed When You Didn't Do Anything
If your conversations tend to end in you getting blamed for everything it might be because people are lying to you. Unless of course, you're doing a lot of naughty things, but for the sake of this conversation let's say that you aren't actually to blame. This is because people who are lying or trying to protect something are likely to get angry or hostile in their attempt to protect themselves. In an effort to divert the attention and maintain their own innocence they are likely to try and make someone else feel bad for "attacking" them. Asking a straightforward question as you know is not attacking a person, but they will make it seem like it is and then try to make you feel bad about asking it in the first place. They play the victim role to try and make sure that they are the victim. It doesn't feel great to be on the receiving end of that behavior.
2 They Tell You Too Much
Generally, a conversation has a natural back and forth, even if people are in the middle of a story. But when they're in the middle of a story full of lies they might tell you more details than normal to try and best paint the picture that they're trying too hard to paint. Instead of just mentioning where they supposedly went for lunch they might dive into a story about their sandwich that sounds a bit off in the conversation. According to behavioral analyst and body expert Dr. Lillian Glass, "When someone goes on and on and gives you too much information — information that is not requested and especially an excess of details — there is a very high probability that he or she is not telling you the truth. Liars often talk a lot because they are hoping that, with all their talking and seeming openness, others will believe them."
1 Your Gut Tells You
It can be confusing to rely on intuition alone when we're trying to make sense of something since our emotions aren't always painting the best picture. Sometimes we worry unnecessarily, sometimes our anxiety creates huge issues that don't exist, sometimes we're certain that we can trust people that we shouldn't. But then again, those nagging feelings that exist in the gut are often really spot on. One of the key takeaways is that those gut feelings don't change based on your mood, and they often go against it. It makes sense that you might worry too much about something while you're already stressed out, but a weird gut feeling that something is off might pop up when everything should otherwise be feeling good. You probably don't get the feeling that certain people are lying to you ever, but then with other people you consider that they always might be. Pay attention because it might be for a reason.