Is there anything in this world more confusing than boys? Probably not... and if there is, we don't really want to find out, because we're not sure we could take much more. There's honestly nothing more annoying, frustrating and just plain weird than when we like a guy but get the feeling that although he likes us, he's not super interested in letting us know. Why won't he commit? Why won't he just man up and admit how he feels?! When a guy plays hard to get, it's like one of the great mysteries of the universe: something that we wish wouldn't happen, but something that we know we will never, ever even begin to understand, no matter how much we try. If you've ever had a guy play hard to get or maybe even are dealing with this special situation right now, good luck... but it might be a good idea to make sure that he really is being that annoying. Here are 15 signs he's playing hard to get.
15 He's Hot And Cold
You swear he likes you... but then again, you're not really all that sure at all, because this guy keeps playing you hot and cold. One day he's texting, saying you're so beautiful and amazing and he loves having you in his life. The next day, it's total and complete radio silence. What's up with that?! Why do guys have to be so off and on? It's frustrating and it honestly sucks, but if your new guy is being hot and cold, here's the honest truth: he's totally playing you. He wants you in his life, sure, but he doesn't want you to be the only one, and he might even be seeing other girls, too. Ugh. When this happens, you really have to be honest with yourself and realize that a guy that really cares about you wouldn't do this kind of stuff, and there's no reason for someone to play hard to get.
14 He Texts Sporadically
Remember that scene in the glorious film Clueless when Cher teaches Tai a new word, which is "sporadically"? Well, if that's how the new guy in your life is texting you, aka randomly and every once in a while, then he's 100 percent playing hard to get. And you should not let him play this game at all. A guy that is really into you is going to be a man and text you all the time. He's going to think it's awesome to be in contact with you 24/7 and he won't want to sit back and play games because then another guy could swoop in and sweep you off your feet. A guy who can't text properly is totally useless to you in terms of future boyfriend material. Remember that. It's honestly not that hard to text. It literally takes a few seconds, so don't let some guy play you like this.
13 You're Insecure
When a guy starts making you feel insecure, it's really your fault, because although his actions and behavior are definitely making you feel this way, you're the one in control of your life. You should take care of your thoughts, feelings, and emotions and decide, hey, this guy is not the boss of you. Why should you feel insecure about whether or not a guy likes you? It's his loss if he doesn't, right? You're an amazing person and would absolutely make the best girlfriend ever, and you should be super secure in a safe and happy relationship. You don't deserve anything less than that and don't let anyone tell you anything different. If you feel unsure about how someone feels about you and it starts affecting your self-esteem and self-confidence, then you know this guy is playing hard to get.
12 He Drops Future Hints
Ugh. This is honestly the most annoying thing that a guy can do. When the new guy in your world wants to keep you super interested in him but doesn't want to put any effort in himself, he's going to talk about the future... but he's going to do it in a really weird way. Meaning that he's going to randomly bring up the future that you two could have together... but you'll never get anything more than these tiny breadcrumbs. He'll mention that his buddy is having a birthday party next month that's 90s themed... but he'll just say it once, and you'll never hear about it ever again, let alone get a real invitation. Just watch what he says and how he acts, because if those two don't match, he's a real loser who doesn't really want to be your boyfriend... no matter what he says sometimes.
11 You Rarely See Him
Okay, so let's say this guy is texting you 24/7 and being adorable and cute, and you're convinced that he really is into you. But he could still be playing super hard to get. How? Well, if you rarely see him, that's definitely a massive sign. You could be super into him and think that he's falling for you too, but if you only see him once a week (and especially if you only see him on the weekend), then that's not a great thing. He's playing you and trying to make sure that you don't really feel like a huge part of his world. If he wasn't playing you, he would want to see you a lot more often. Which is really what he should want if he knows what's good for you because you're pretty awesome. Well, no, you're more than awesome, you're wonderful! So blow this guy off. He's not worth it.
10 He Guards His Past
It really doesn't matter how hot this guy is, how much fun you two have together, and the fact that you both obsess over the same TV shows and movies. If he can't tell you about his past and you don't know much about him beyond surface level stuff, then he's playing hard to get, and he's not going to stop until you finally cut him loose (which you should totally and 100 percent do). It's really lame when a guy is super private and guards his past. Your past is your story, after all. It's who you are, it's why you act the way that you do, and it's not something to take lightly. If you really want to have a solid and stable relationship, you need to share your thoughts and history and experiences with the other person, and that goes both ways. One person can't be an open book while the other person never talks.
9 You're A Secret
You may think you have a guy who's about to become your official boyfriend. But if he keeps you a secret, then you're nothing but, well, a total secret. He doesn't want you to be his one and only, he doesn't think you're his soul mate, and he's definitely playing some kind of crazy game. A relationship can't be totally private -- it has to be open to the world, and you have to know each other's friends and family. Otherwise, it's no relationship at all, or at least not a very healthy one. Don't become a toxic secret that this guy keeps hanging around because he can't let go of you, but he won't really commit to you, either. You deserve more than that and it's just a really shady way to act. If you were keeping a guy a secret from the people who matter to you, you wouldn't think very highly of them, right?
8 He's A Bit Creepy
Here's the thing: sometimes you can like a guy but know that there's something kind of off about him. You can't quite put your finger on it, and it's not glaringly obvious. After all, you keep dating him, right? If he was a total loser and weirdo, you would never get past the first date and you would even regret spending that one evening with him over drinks at your favorite bar. It doesn't matter how incredible he is, if you have the feeling that something is not quite right, that means he's definitely a little bit creepy. And if he's creepy, he's definitely playing hard to get. That means he's hiding something and he's not completely interested in the idea of having you be a big part of his world. That means you should get out now, before you fall any faster, and before you actually get hurt.
7 You're Annoyed
When you're frustrated with the way things are going with a certain guy, of course, you're going to feel super annoyed all the time. You're going to feel like he needs to step it up and pay more attention to you. But the truth is, he's playing hard to get, and he isn't going to stop behaving so badly. In fact, it's probably only going to get worse... and by that, we mean a lot, lot worse. It's not okay to feel annoyed all the time, and it's definitely not normal, so you need to get yourself out of this weird situation before it's too late and before your feelings are even more involved. The last thing you want is to be really into a guy who couldn't care less about you, because who needs that?! If you feel like screaming at him every time he doesn't answer your text message or reschedules a plan, then yeah, he's playing hard to get, no doubt about it.
6 You Want To Change Him
Guys can't change. Or maybe they technically can, but for the most part, they really won't. And that's okay, actually, because you shouldn't have to change someone. You should love your boyfriend for who he is, what he believes in, how he lives his life and the amazing way that he treats you. If you want to change a guy, he's not fitting perfectly into your life, and he's not the one for you. He's acting in a way that you think needs to change -- he's not making you a priority, he's making you feel bad about yourself, he's being a real loser and jerk. But guess what? That's really his problem, not yours. If you ever want to change a guy, that means you know something is wrong and that this isn't the right relationship for you -- or it wouldn't be if it was actually a real relationship, since it clearly isn't right now.
5 You're Not Exclusive
If he hasn't had The Talk with you yet -- you know, that big scary moment when the two of you look into each other's eyes and finally decide whether to seriously commit to each other or go your separate ways forever and ever -- then he's probably not thinking that you're exclusive. Sorry, the truth hurts sometimes, but you still need to know it. It's better to accept the fact that you're not exclusive now than keep living in a fantasy world where he wants to be with you for real. If you're not exclusive with a guy, he's playing hard to get because he doesn't care if he's really yours and he definitely doesn't think that you belong to him, either. And you want to belong to someone, right? That's kind of the whole point of this whole dating thing.
4 You're Embarrassed Of Him
When you don't want to introduce a guy to your friends and fam, and when you don't even want to casually bring him up when having girls' night out with your besties, then that's a sure sign that you're kind of embarrassed of this guy. When you feel that way, it's evacuees you don't like the casual way that he treats you, the way he talks to you, and the fact that you're definitely not in anything even resembling a real relationship. A guy should never embarrass you... or make you feel humiliated by him and his behavior, either. So if you feel this way, you should know that he's playing hard to get, because if he wasn't, you wouldn't be embarrassed at all. You would be proud of him and your budding relationship and would want to show him off, have him meet everyone in your world, and you wouldn't be able to stop referencing him in every single conversation.
3 Your Gut Is Screaming At You
Ah, the old gut. Your instincts can totally make or break you, and the thing is that your body is going to literally make decisions for you in pretty much any area that you can think of. Hate your job? You're going to feel physically ill every time you commute to the office. Hate your new guy? It's the same thing. Every time you hear from him whether it's via text or any form of social media or the random phone calls (why do guys call so randomly?!), you're going to get this weird feeling in your stomach and feel like things just aren't going according to plan. Well, go ahead and listen to your gut instincts, because they're telling you this guy is a major player and he's not for you. You're not being ridiculous or weird or paranoid, you're doing the right thing for you and your life.
2 You Feel This Is Familiar
The thing is that if the guy in your life is playing hard to get, he's not the only one who's ever done this to you. Even if you didn't realize it before, now's the time to be honest with yourself and recognize that, yeah, lots of guys have played this game before. Maybe they were so talented and so good at playing hard to get that you honestly had no idea, but you don't have to be so naive now, right? Today, you're stronger and older than you were back then, and you owe it to yourself to be totally cool, calm and collected. Don't freak out, just say, yeah, it's familiar and this has happened before. You survived back then and you can survive now, too. It's time to cut the cord and move on before you get even more embroiled in this loser's mess.
1 You Ignore The Signs
Red flags. Deal breakers. Big neon signs that you two need to stop seeing each other and it should have happened yesterday. Whatever you want to call them, you know that there are some surefire signs that you and this guy are not meant to be, and that's not going to change anytime soon. But you ignore the signs, for whatever reason. Sure, he's hot and he might be the best kisser you've ever encountered so far in your life, but so what? If he's playing hard to get, you're ignoring the signs that he's not right for you, and at the end of the day, the joke's on you. He doesn't really care what happens, but you do. You want a guy that wants to be with you as much as you want to be with him. Period. And what's more is that you honestly deserve that kind of person. So cut his guy loose and wait for the right person. He's going to love you for who you are, he won't play games, and you're going to be glad that you respected yourself enough to wait.