Whether you've been dating him for a couple of months of if you've been with him for years, you're starting to get the feeling that things have changed. He used to tell you everything and recently, he's been distant. Or maybe, he used to surprise you and make you feel special, and now, he hardly comes around. Whatever it is, you can clearly tell that your relationship isn't what it once was. Of course, you're freaking out. Who wouldn't? All you want to do is communicate with him about whatever it is that's going on, but he refuses to give you the time of day or be honest with you. Men. Well, don't worry, ladies, we've all been there and we all know how agonizing it can be. It's hard to see the signs, especially if you don't want you relationship to end. That's why we're here to help. Read below to find out 15 signs he's over you.
15 He Makes Excuses
He's constantly making excuses for himself. When you first started dating him, you loved that he took responsibility whenever he made a mistake. In fact, he practically blamed everything on himself because he thought so highly of you. Now, however, he's filled with excuses. Every time you guys get in a fight, it's always your fault or because something happened to him first to make him act a certain way. For example, he'll say things like, "I wouldn't have done that if you wouldn't have done this." He doesn't just simply say that he's sorry for hurting you or take accountability for his actions. Why is he making excuses? Well, chances are, he hasn't been able to take responsibility for how he's feeling. Perhaps he hasn't admitted to himself that he's unhappy in the relationship. Instead, he makes excuses to both himself and you about why he's unhappy so he doesn't have to face the truth.
14 He's Absent Minded
The two of you might still spend a lot of time together, especially if you live together. However, for some reason, even when you hang out with him one on one, it seems as if he's not really there. You start noticing that he's very absent minded. He doesn't remember things that you tell him, even important things. He answers questions in short sentences and ends discussions before they even begin. You're the one constantly making conversation or trying to make him laugh. He's always on his phone or distracted by whatever it is that he can find. No matter how hard you try to get his attention, it seems as though everything else is more important than you. Why? As hard as it may be to hear: To him, everything else is more important than you. He's lost interest in both you and the relationship.
13 Everything Turns Into A Fight
A little fighting in relationships is normal. However, when everything between you and your partner becomes a fight, that's a big sign things are sure to end pretty soon. Why? Because when two people are constantly fighting each other, it's usually because one (if not both) of them are generally unhappy with the point they're at in their lives. Chances are, if your boyfriend is alway on edge and every small thing you do makes him angry, it's most likely a result of him being unfulfilled in the relationship, not a result of whatever so called "mistake" you're committing at the time. Or, if he's constantly starting fights for no reason, it's may be because he's trying to convince himself that he still cares about you or to feel as though you still care about him. As twisted as it sounds, most people feel cared about if those who's attention they seek bother to fight with them. After all, if they didn't care, why would they fight back?
12 He Stops Talking About The Future
The two of you have been together for a long time. When you first got together, you talked about everything- including the future. You would spend hours daydreaming about what your life would look like in ten years. Now, you never have those conversations. Of course, it may partially be because you're no longer in the honeymoon phase, however, even people in healthy, comfortable relationships set aside time to discuss their futures every now and then. If you bring up the future and your partner avoids the subject day after day, it may be because his plans for the future no longer include you and he doesn't want to lead you on any longer. As difficult as that may be to hear, it's true that people avoid certain topics in fear of disappointing those they care about.
11 Your Private Life Changed
We know: intimacy and love can be two completely different things. However, in committed relationships, the couple's private life is usually affected by how the couple feels about one another. If you and your partner used to have a healthy private life that has recently gone down the drain, it may be because your partner has lost some attraction to you. Of course, life gets busy and there are may factors that may affect one's intimate feelings, but it's worth discussing. On the other hand, if you and your partner once had a healthy private ife and now seem to be getting physical way more often that you did (and by way more often, we mean an excessive amount), it may be because your partner is trying to make up the love that he lost for you with this attraction. This too is worth discussing.
10 He Starts Spending More Time Away From You
Having one's own independence in a relationship is great. And, often times, when we get into serious relationships, we tend to lose our own independence and focus more on our partner's needs. However, we soon find that it's important to find a balance between focusing on the relationship, ourselves, and our partners. Usually, couples are able to do this after they get out of the honeymoon phase. If your partner begins taking time away from you (more time than he used to), it may be because he's ready to take back control of a bit of independence he gave up when he met you. This is completely normal. On the other hand, if he starts taking every opportunity he gets to spend time away from you, that could be a problem. If you notice that your partner wants to spend the majority of his time away from you instead of dividing his time evenly, chances are, he's ready to move on.
9 Other Women Grab His Attention
When you first started dating him, you were the only woman he ever saw (not literally, but figuratively). If you went out to dinner, all of his attention was on you. He didn't even notice the hot waitress flirting with him and was completely blinded by any other woman's advances. Now, he's opened his eyes a bit. You start noticing that he'll eye up other women when you walk down the street. He's reached out to a female colleague at work who he never gave the time of day to before. Or maybe, he'll casually flirt with another woman at a party. Long story short, for some reason, he's not simply satisfied with you alone anymore. That being said, it is normal for two people to wonder what it would be like to be with someone besides their partner. However, he's taken that a step further by actually acting on his impulses meaning his focus has certainly shifted away from your guy's relationship.
8 He Starts Getting Suspicious
He's never been the jealous type before and has certainly never doubted your feelings for him. Now, however, he's completely changed. He starts accusing you of being interested in other people or insisting that you don't care about your guys' relationship anymore. He's jealous and always on edge, even if you've never done anything to make him think this way. Why? Because he's deflecting. A guilty conscious always assumes that other people feel the same way they do. If he's thinking about other women, he's going to start believing you must be thinking about other men. If he's falling out of love with you, he's going to convince himself that you're also falling out of love with him. Even if your behavior hasn't changed, his has. Therefore, his perspective is going to change.
7 You Become His Last Priority
For years you and your happiness always came first to him. Every decision he made- large or small- he made with you in mind. Now, he makes every decision with only one person in mind and that's himself- even decision that affected your life. For example, he quit his job without even warning you or asking your opinion. Or maybe, he's started saying "yes" to things that might make you uneasy or things that he wouldn't have previous done- like a "boys getaway to Vegas." Why? Because for some reason or another, your wellbeing dropped from first on his list of importance to last on his list of importance. When he thinks about his future, he sees only himself. Therefore, your thoughts and feelings don't affect his everyday life anymore. If you've started to realize that everything comes before you- like his friends, his job, and even what he has for dinner, chances are, he's halfway out the door already.
6 He's Closed Off
The two of you used to talk openly about everything. Now, you hardly talk about anything of importance. Whenever you bring up a subject that concerns either your happiness or his happiness, he brushes you off and changes the topic. Why? Because he's not ready to be honest. Chances are, he knows that he doesn't want to be in the relationship anymore and/or that his feelings have changed, but he hasn't found a way to tell you or can't even fully admit it to himself. Therefore, he'll do anything to avoid discussing what's really going on in his head. Deep down, he's probably hoping that somehow, his feelings will revert back to how they were and he'll regain interest in the relationship. Until then, he'll keep to himself to prevent hurting you or doing anything drastic.
5 You Start Seeking Out Male Attention
I know, we're supposed to be talking about signs he's over the relationship, but this is a sign. Why? Because it's human nature to want love and affection from the opposite sex and if he's not giving you that, it's normal that you'd seek it out elsewhere. When you first met him, it never even crossed your mind that you might want to be with someone else someday. If a man flirted with you, you politely ignored him because you'd rather the attention of your boyfriend. Now, you flirt back. You start thinking about what it'd be like to be with other men and for the first time in a long time, you can actually picture it happening. And no, there's not something wrong with you. You're not getting what you want or need from your current partner, why wouldn't you yearn for something else?
4 Everyone Picks Up On A Change
You two were always the couple that everyone wanted to be like. Whenever you went out in public, you always had a blast. Together, you were the life of the party. Even random strangers picked up on how in love you guys were. Not a day went by without someone stopping you two to let you know how cute of a couple you were. Now, since he's become more distant from both you and the relationship, things have changed. You no longer get compliments and basically, all of your friends and family have noticed that something's up- even if you and your boyfriend haven't confronted the issues yourselves. Your best friend starts asking you about questions like, "Are you and (insert boyfriend's name) doing all right?" or "Are you happy?" Why? Because she knows you better than you know yourself and can automatically tell that something's going on you're not telling her about.
3 He's Unhappy When He's With You
He used to always be in a good mood whenever the two of you hung out. In fact, he looked forward to hanging out with just you and would race home after work just to kiss you. Now, you realize that if he's in a good mood right when he comes home, it slowly fades as the night goes on. If you guys have plans to do something, he's not enthusiastic. He makes you feel that hanging out with you is an obligation, not a pleasure. On top of that, whenever you two go out with friends, the second he gets around other people, he's instantly happier. Then, when the night ends, he shuts down and keeps to himself. It's as if your very presence drags him down whereas, in the beginning, your presence used to elevate him.
2 He Can't Just Do Nothing With You Anymore
When you first started dating, the two of you could spend hours in bed doing absolutely nothing. You loved to stay in on Friday nights just watching Netflix and having a glass of wine. Now, he constantly needs to be doing something when he's with you. He plans "nights out" with your friends to avoid spending alone time with you on the weekends. If you hang out during the day, he makes lists of chores he needs to complete instead of simply focusing on you. Whenever you're with him, he's always on the go, dragging you along the whole time. Why? He's using every distraction he can conjure up to keep himself from having a dull moment in your presence. Additionally, because he's over the relationship, simply being alone with you doesn't do it for him anymore.
1 You Know Something's Changed
We all have instincts and guess what? It's time to listen to them. You can tell when someone looks into your eyes and doesn't feel the same way about you that you feel about them. If you know your partner intimately, you can tell when he's not being honest with you. For example, if he tells you that he loves you and wants to be with you forever, you'll be able to pick up on if he really means it or if he's trying to convince the both of you that he means it. The next time the two of you talk about where you're headed, really listen to him. Don't simply believe his little white lies because it's easier than hearing the truth. Trust your gut and whatever it is that it's telling you. It's better to end a relationship when it's truly over instead of staying in one out of fear of being alone. You deserve to be with someone who really wants to be with you and if he doesn't, it's time to move on.