Because the man code is oftentimes too complex to decode, there’s no question why women find themselves confused and stuck in relationships they should’ve left a long time ago. This can be because the man is so good with his pretending or the woman is just too naïve to figure it out. And when it comes to dating and figuring out whether your man is really in it for good or not, the level of complexity is usually at its peaks. So how the hell do you deal with this? There’s no magical handbook to figure out men. Well, you can rely on articles like this one. We dug through the internet and found these handy signs to help you figure out if your man is good for long-term relationships or if he’s only good for dating. Believe it or not, these signs are actually super helpful.
If he doesn’t want to call your relationship a “relationship,” chances are, he doesn’t see it as a real relationship. If he introduces you to his friends by your name only, and not followed by “my gorgeous girlfriend” or “the love of my life” or something sweet and similar, it can be because he still doesn’t see you as his girlfriend or the love of his life, even after dating for almost a year. For other couples, they don’t need a specific date as to when their dating morphed into a real relationship. It’s like it just happens mutually. However, there are also those couples who keep on dating and dating and seeing no signs that their relationship is getting to the next level. If you feel like you’re in the latter, that is your sign that he’s only good for dating.
As we all know, communication is one of the most important aspects of every relationship. Long-distance relationships could survive if the communication between the couple is really good. But if your man has this on and off habit of communicating with you, wherein he calls you every single day for days, and then suddenly disappears without a quick “I’ll be busy these next couple of days” or “I’ll be out of town and won’t be able to call much” that is your glowing sign right over there. We’re not saying relationships with bad communications automatically mean one or both individuals are only good for dating, but the lack of consistency in communication is a clear sign that he’s unsure on whether he wants to date and take things lightly or if he really wants to be in a long-term, serious relationship with you.
For most guys, having their girlfriends shack up at their place for nights is definitely the best things about relationships. And then there are those guys who don’t really want to have their dates around. This can be because he wants more space to think about what his plans are about the relationship, or it can be because he’s not interested in a long-term relationship with you. If you’ve been with a guy who wants to be with you almost 24/7 (and it’s not even just about the physical) you would immediately know the difference. Guys don’t always want their girls at their apartment but when they do, that’s a sign he’s getting more and more serious with you. When he wants you to stay for more than one night, it means he really values the fact that you’re around. If it’s the opposite, well, you already know what it means.
It’s not you, it’s him. Because women are often the more emotional (therefore, more rated), we usually think that wrong turns in normal conversations are because of us. Well girl, if you’re with a man who is only interested in dating and hooking up, he’s the main reason why every normal conversation becomes rated. Practically because he is only interested in having bed activities with you. Good lord, if only it includes tidying the bed, that would be great. Men who tend to joke around and then divert every conversation into something else that has to do with his "little man" aren’t really the relationship-type men. They’re like, still in the YOLO stages of life and they’re not interested in building a long-term life with you… one that is more stable and more mature, since you two are going to adulthood. If you’re up for a more serious relationship, we highly suggest you run far away.
It’s one thing to have a terrible past you don’t want to talk about, and it’s a totally different thing to not want to talk about your past, period. Even when it’s terrible you have no words for it, if that’s your girlfriend in front of you asking about it, sooner or later, you will be comfortable enough to open up and tell her about it. Even if it means telling the story where you had 5 girlfriends at the same time and none of them knew about it. However, if your man shows no interest in telling you about his past, that’s probably because he doesn’t really see you as someone significantly important to him. He sees you more like someone he’s hanging out with. That’s it. Nothing more. We all have secrets in our past, secrets we don’t want to reveal and we’re too ashamed to reveal even to our partners. But it’s already a different story if your man shuts the conversation or becomes too vague when it comes to discussing his past.
Seriously, don’t expect that he’s going to sit you down and talk to you about building a future and having kids and moving in together and finding a great city to raise a family. That is never going to happen with a man like this. at least, not at this point. Men who aren’t serious in long-term relationships are less likely to even discuss the topic. If you think he’s only good for dating but you’re not quite sure, try opening some topics about future plans. Try asking him about his long-term plan, how many kids he want, if he wants a house by the beach or in the middle of the city… these questions sound easy but for a man who is only good for dating, these are the must-avoid questions. He will most likely tell you to stop talking about it.
Remember that amazing point in every relationship where men treat us, women, like queens? When the relationship is still fresh and they would go out of their way to make sure we’re having the best time of our lives? Yeah… those days are long gone when you’re with a man who is not really interested in long-term relationships. He would treat you like a queen perhaps only during the first few days of your unconventional relationship. After that, he will be tired and he will act like you two are just taking things easy, hooking up and hanging out without pressure. It’s all good if you feel the same way. It’s a problem when you start to think about your own future and what tomorrow would look like, and you’re not even sure because you’re with a person who doesn’t give a crap about tomorrow.
Men who are only good for dating also tend to be focused on their dreams only. Yes, we know, it sounds terrible, but it’s the truth. We’re not saying these men are terrible people, but we’re saying if he doesn’t give much thought about your dreams, if he doesn’t even bother asking you about your dreams and aspirations and goals in life, chances are he is not interested in those. He just wants to talk about the things he wants and at this point, it’s up to you to decide whether you should stay or leave the guy. If you’re up for long-term dating and being in a shaky relationship, then by all means, stay. However, if you choose to be in a more stable relationship, pack up and leave, girl. You’re not the bad person here, you just have other priorities in life. Like yourself.
If he’s interested in building a life-long relationship with you, he would seek advice from his mother less and less. This is because you two are so in love with one another that advice is the one thing he will never get tired nor ashamed of asking for from you. But if your man still keeps on calling his mother to know what she thinks about the smallest matters in his life or in your relationship, for the love of all holy, end that relationship now. We get it, dating is fun. Getting to know his mother is scary but fun. However, there’s a fine line between including mom in the relationship and making mom decide because he just doesn’t want to do the job. If he keeps on consulting his mother, it’s probably because he doesn’t trust you nor love you enough to consult you. That is one painful reality, girl.
The mere act of asking how your day went goes a long way in relationships. In fact, some couples, no matter how old they both are, still ask one another how their day went. This can result to a long conversation, an argument, or sometimes, just a quick exchange of short answers. The point is, you’re interested in knowing how your partner’s day was. It’s not about whether or not her day went perfect, it’s about the interest in how her day went. Now that is something you should keep a close eye on. Because if your man stopped asking you about your day, chances are, he doesn’t care anymore. And while that sounds painful, it’s going to be more painful is you choose to stay and build an amazing future in your wild imagination. A future with him. It’s going to be painful because, well, chances are, he won’t really be interested in it.
Aside from asking about his past life, a man who is also no good in long-term relationships also hates it when you start asking about their exes. This is probably because they don’t see you as their girlfriend. They don’t think they are obliged to tell you about their past relationships. And yes, while other decent couples take time in discussing their exes, it’s different with a man who is only good in dating. He basically freaks out and gets mad when you keep on asking about the girls who came before. It’s like if he said ‘no, I don’t want to talk about it’ he meant ‘no, I don’t want to talk about it forever’ and he expects you to understand that. This sign can be tricky but once you get the hang of it, once you keep noticing it, you will know.
Whether it’s a big family secret or a minor thing he did while he was drunk and doesn’t want to talk about, any secret would remain a secret between you and this guy. Because he doesn’t think you’re trustworthy enough to keep his secrets. He doesn’t really realize that in serious relationships, trust is fairly important. But if your man chooses to not trust you, about anything, you may want to think twice about building a life with him. Because if you force it, or if you play blind and pretend you’re not seeing the signs, chances are you will have a terrible life. This man is probably not ready to deal with serious things in life, since he can’t really deal with trusting other people. Heck, he can’t even trust you! Unless you want to deal with troubles and pain in the future, you, dear reader, would really think twice right about now.
For men who love nothing but dating, one of the most important things in their lives and their relationships with their women is that they’re more successful than their women. This isn’t about the gender thing, it’s about superiority. It’s about knowing that you’re in a relationship with someone who isn’t as successful as you, therefore you can consider yourself superior or dominant. Which is why if your guy is not appreciating your success, or worse, if he hates that you’re succeeding in your life or in your career, that’s a sign you cannot deny. That’s a sign he is only good for dating and he will never be good for long-term relationships. Or at least, not right at the moment. People change, we know… but for now, this sign is something we suggest you pay a real close attention to.
Being irresponsible with money is yet another sign that your current S.O. doesn't care about a long-term relationship with you. Because if he does, he would think twice about spending too much on unnecessary things. He would think twice on choosing not to save up. Responsible men, regardless of their richness, have one thing in common – they’re really good at saving up for the rainy days. It may not seem obvious but if a man is serious in a relationship, he would save up because he knows building a relationship is not just about two people falling deeper and deeper in love with one another. Now if you’re with someone who is the total opposite, what would you do? Would you choose to stay? Would you end the relationship? Well, you have the power to make a choice here. Don’t let that power go to waste, woman.
This is probably the most vague sign there is, but once you start to see it more clearly, there is no unseeing it. When your man spends more time with his friends than with you, it’s mainly because he doesn’t see you as a girlfriend. He is dating you, yes, but he’s not yet at the point where he would call you a girlfriend. Now that is pretty painful, especially when you’ve already invested in the relationship. But really, what can we do? It’s not like we can force them to feel the exact same way we feel for them. Perhaps the best option is to scrutinize your situation. Know if staying is a wise move or if you need to be brave and move out. Move far from him. Because if he’s okay with spending less time with you, that simply means he’s okay with not having you in his life at all.