An ex-boyfriend once told me if he had met my sister first, he would have asked her out on a date. And that is one reason why he is now my ex! Such a comment should never occur during a conversation with your boyfriend. You don’t want to have a boyfriend who is more into your sister than you, as it will just end up in tears. Your boyfriend should be so head over heels in love with you, that he doesn’t see anyone else in a romantic way. It is healthy for your boyfriend to show a natural interest in your family members, but you will quickly figure out if he likes your sister much more than the rest. You should never allow your boyfriend to damage your relationship with your sister. The movie, In Her Shoes, starring Cameron Diaz shows exactly what happens when your boyfriend is into your sister. The sisters stop speaking after irresponsible party girl Maggie, played by Diaz ends up in bed with her sister's boyfriend. Take a look at these 15 signs that show he’s more into your sister than you, so you can figure out whether you should dump him or not before it gets messy!
15 He Stares At Her
Do your boyfriend’s eyes light up when he sees your sister? If he seems more excited about seeing your sister than you, then perhaps he is more into your sister. If you are constantly catching him staring at your sister with a sneaky smile and sparkle in his eyes, then he really could have a crush on your sister. Your boyfriend should not have his eyes anywhere else, but on you. So if you feel he is interested in anyone else but you, then you really need to decide whether you want to waste more time on a man that is not truly in love with you. Love is expressed through the eyes, so you will be able to tell by the way he looks at her. Sometimes when you introduce your boyfriend to your sister for the first time he might stare a little bit to see the similarities between you, so don’t freak out. However, if you realize that he just can’t stop staring at her, and does it every time he sees her, then you need to be careful.
14 He Invites Her Everywhere
It is not always easy to get your boyfriend to spend time with your family, especially at the beginning of the relationship as boyfriends can find it a bit intimidating and uncomfortable. So it can be great when he shows an interest in spending time with them, however, if he wants to invite your sister everywhere then be careful. You can always tell when it just becomes too much. For example, you plan a romantic dinner for him and he invites your sister over to join you both. If you feel that he just cannot enjoy your company without having your sister around, then you should really start questioning your relationship and his potential feelings for her. You should also ask her how she feels about him, but do not attack her, otherwise she could become very annoyed. You don’t want to end up having a fight with your sister as no man is worth that. You should want your sister to feel included, but remember it is important that you also have your own time.
13 He Can’t Stop Talking About Her
Alarm bells should start ringing, if he is constantly asking questions about your sister and doesn’t care about any other members of your family. If your boyfriend finds just about any excuse to talk about your sister, then you should start to wonder why he suddenly has this new fascination her. You want him to like your sister, but not more than he likes you. You will be able to tell if your boyfriend’s eyes light up and he gets over-excited when he speaks about your sister. If your boyfriend’s speech suddenly becomes filled with emotion and excitement when he speaks about any other woman, then be very careful. Your sister should not be the main topic of conversation, you should have so many other topics to speak about and if you don’t, then maybe he is not the one for you. A good couple have a diverse amount of topics to discuss, which keeps their relationship interesting and alive.
12 They Have Inside Jokes
It is always nice to have the room filled with laughter, but there is nothing worse than feeling like you just don’t understand the joke. Inside jokes can often make other people feel uncomfortable, and if your boyfriend and sister have their own little secret jokes, then this is a major sign that they are becoming a little bit too close. Humor is a crucial part of many relationships. You should enjoy funny moments and jokes with your sister and your boyfriend as this will bring you all closer together and make times more memorable. However, if you feel you are being left out because they have their own jokes, then this is really just not acceptable. Eventually, you will find yourself getting frustrated especially if you are the butt of their jokes. It can be funny once or twice, but if they are making a habit of it you need to set them straight.
11 He Always Compares You To Her
There is nothing worse than to be compared to your sister all the time. You do not want your boyfriend saying, “Why can’t you be more like your sister”. Sisters can often have completely different personalities, but you want your boyfriend to be attracted to your personality. If he seems to like your sister's personality more, then do not make the mistake of trying to copy her. Be confident about your own personality, and if he doesn't love you for your own unique personality, then maybe he is just not the man for you. If he is constantly comparing you to her, you can ask him, “How would you like it if I always compared you to your brother?”. If your boyfriend is always putting you down, and putting your sister on a pedestal, then this is just not a healthy situation. You need to do something about it, otherwise you will start having major insecurity issues. If you are always wrong and your sister is always right in the eyes of your boyfriend, then you should not accept this. This is a sign that he is more into her, so you need to sit him down for a serious chat.
10 He Hates The Men She Dates
Over time, boyfriends can become protective of their girlfriend’s sister to the point where they also treat her like their own family member. If this is the case then you don’t need to immediately freak out that your boyfriend is in love with her, because he might just have a brotherly love for her. However, if you find that he always wants her around and is at his happiest when she is with you both, then you should start to worry a little. Don’t forget that you should be the one that makes him the happiest. There is often natural competition between men, but if your boyfriend hates absolutely every man in your sister's life, then maybe he is jealous. If you start to feel like your boyfriend is into your sister, then you should analyse his behavior around the men in her life. It is not normal for him to hate absolutely every man she dates, especially if you do not share his feelings on this matter and believe he is being irrational.
9 He Acts Differently Around Her
Does your boyfriend suddenly become a completely different person when your sister enters the room? Other people can sometimes influence our behavior, but if you feel your boyfriend is trying hard to impress your sister, then try to figure out the real reason behind this. Maybe this is because he just wants to make a good impression, or maybe it’s because he's actually into her! Without attacking him, you can ask him in a jokey way why he is acting differently around your sister. If he is always trying to make her laugh and spends way too much time trying to impress her, then you should be a bit concerned. Boyfriends should care about what your sister thinks of them, but it shouldn’t be so extreme that they worry about it, and do everything to impress her. If you find that he is constantly trying to help your sister, or he would even rather seek advice from her instead of you then, this is not really normal.
8 They Talk For Hours Non-Stop
Can your boyfriend and sister talk for hours together non-stop? My Mom always said two is a couple and three is a crowd. If you find yourself becoming so bored of their conversation, you can start to feel like an outsider. You should try to involve yourself in their conversation and not feel excluded. You should not find yourself in the position that when your sister comes to visit, you just end up going to bed early. Do not leave them alone to talk until the early morning. You should all enjoy each others company and when you feel the mini-party should end, then don't be afraid to say it's bed time. Just don't do it before midnight, otherwise they will call you a party pooper! Don't be afraid to take control of the situation in a diplomatic way, otherwise you will really start to get sick of having your sister over. And you definitely don't want that to happen. Talking for hours non-stop is a sign that he is more into her, but you can find ways to stop it developing into something more.
7 They Have The Same Friendship Circle
Friendship circles play an imperative role in relationships. It can definitely cause problems if your boyfriend doesn’t like your friends. So it is important to have some good friends in common. Sometimes we meet our boyfriends through our sister's friends, but if you find that your boyfriend doesn’t want to spend time with your friends, and has more friends in common with your sister, then this can become a bit uncomfortable for you. You don't want to attend parties where you are surrounded only by your boyfriend’s and sister’s friends, and you have no friends there. Your boyfriend and sister should also be accepting of your friends. It is very healthy for you to have your own friends and to mix these different friendship circles together. If you feel that your boyfriend and sister just want to keep their own friends in one small exclusive circle and exclude your friends, then you really need to sit down and have a chat with them. If he is more interested in spending time in her circle, and not in yours, then maybe he is just more into your sister.
6 They Have More Hobbies In Common
They say opposites attract, but the truth is, your relationship will be much more sustainable if you have similar hobbies. If your boyfriend shares more interests and hobbies with your sister than with you, then this can definitely develop into a problem. You want life to be pretty easy and enjoyable with your boyfriend, where you both like to watch the same movies and enjoy doing activities together. You don’t want to go on holidays with your boyfriend and sister, and end up being left alone, because they are off enjoying water sports, while you sit reading your book. This is fine maybe once or twice, but if you find that during your whole holiday, you spend most of the time alone, while they are off exploring and doing fun activities, then you should really try to show some interest too, otherwise you may end up losing your boyfriend to your sister! If he is more interested in doing activities with your sister, then this could be a sign that he likes her more.
5 He Finds Excuses To Contact Her
Does your boyfriend try to find almost any reason to contact your sister? He rings her to ask her advice on what to cook for dinner, or messages her on Facebook to share a funny story he read. This type of behavior can be pretty normal from time to time, especially once you have been with your boyfriend for a long time, and he feels like she is also his sister. You will be able to tell pretty quickly if this is not the case, and if he tries to find any excuse to contact her. If your sister also tells you this is a bit weird, then listen to her and discuss the situation with her in a diplomatic and nice way. Do not allow jealousy to interfere with your relationship with her, just discuss your concerns with her. It is not normal for your boyfriend to be in constant communication with her. If he is then, maybe he is in love with her.
4 He Is Too Touchy Feely With Her
If you start to feel that your boyfriend has a crush on your sister, then you should take a close look at how he interacts with her especially in terms of gestures and body movement. How does he behave every time he greets her? You should compare how he embraces and interacts with your sister in comparison to other members of your family. You will figure out pretty quickly this way, if something is not really normal. It is nice to have a caring and affectionate boyfriend, but he also should know the boundaries. Make sure you keep a close eye on him while he is drinking with your sister, as alcohol often breaks down walls and he will be more relaxed. If he is showing off all his best sexy dance moves in front of her with a kinky smile, and starts pulling her close to him, then this is a sign that he may actually be into her. Your boyfriend should be dancing with you
3 He Says Your Sister's Name While Sleeping
We can be at our most vulnerable when we are sleeping, and because of this we can even accidentally reveal our deepest secrets. Professor Jim Horne, director of the Sleep Research Centre at Loughborough University and author of Sleepfaring explains in the Daily Mail Online, “As you have no control of what you say in your sleep, you might end up coming out with something inappropriate. I have heard of people muttering the name of their lover while asleep in bed with their wife. It is possible, as the words can be connected to what you are thinking of.” You should start to take the situation more seriously if you hear your boyfriend muttering your sister's name in his sleep. If he is the type of active sleeper that speaks about everything in his sleep, it is not that big a deal, but if you find him smiling and saying your sister's name in a romantic way, then if I was you I would start to worry about it as this is a major sign he is more into your sister.
2 Your Mother Is Becoming Suspicious
Mothers often have such amazing interrogative skills and excellent natural instincts. So if your mother becomes suspicious and a bit concerned about your boyfriend’s relationship with your sister, then you should pay attention to your mother’s fears. A mother would not get involved and cause an argument between her two daughters unless she really felt there was good enough reason. Mothers are naturally very protective of their children and the last thing she wants to see is either of her daughters getting hurt. You should also open up to your mom and talk to her about any concerns you have about your boyfriend and sister. She will help you realize whether your worries are rational or not. Don't forget how important your family is, and if you ever have any major concerns about your boyfriend, you should always share it with your family. Do not bottle it up otherwise you could explode some day, and take out these feelings on your sister or boyfriend. If your mother is starting to ask questions, then this is a loud and clear sign that there could be more than meets the eye with this strange relationship.
1 You Catch Him Stalking Her Facebook Photos
Facebook is a place that really allows stalking to grow. It can be like an addiction. If you find that every time you see him on Facebook he is looking at your sister's profile, then you should ask him why he is so interested in her page. At first, you should make a joke about it, you definitely don’t want to make him feel uncomfortable, otherwise he will be defensive. If you find a photo of your sister hidden in his secret stash, then you should really start to be concerned as this is just not normal. You will also notice when you are showing him your family album, whether his focus is more on you or on your sister. It is normal to show some degree of curiosity and interest in your sister, but you will definitely be able to tell when he has gone too far. The last thing you want is to be in a relationship with a guy who is just in it so he can be closer to your sister. So be very careful.
Sources: Daily Mail Online