Maturity may not seem like the most exciting quality to look for in a guy, let alone your future boyfriend. You want a guy that's fun, funny, sweet and charming. You want him to turn your bad mood around, no matter what's going on. You want him to make you laugh until your sides hurt, to get along with your family and friends, and to support you 24/7. Oh yeah, and if he's super cute and a really good kisser, well, that wouldn't be a bad thing, either. But the truth is that maturity is pretty much the most important thing to look for when you're dating and trying to find love. If a guy isn't mature, you're going to figure that out ASAP and it's not going to be a pretty situation. You really don't want to date an immature guy, but unfortunately, you're going to encounter a whole bunch of them on your path to finding the right one. Here are 15 signs that he's emotionally immature. You probably want to get out now and find someone who actually behaves like an adult.
15 He Complains All The Time
If the guy you're dating is a straight-up complainer, you know that he's emotionally immature. No, he's not just having a crappy day. No, his boss isn't out to get him and no, his family doesn't hate him. This is 100 percent him and how negative he is. The thing is that why would you even want to date a whiner in the first place? That's really not an attractive quality. If you went on a first date with a guy who complained about everything from the bar to the weather to his beer not being cold enough to the waitress not checking on you enough times, would you even see him again? Probably not. Well, hopefully not. You might just think that this guy is going through a rough time or that something's going on, but the truth is that he's just a jerk and he's way too immature to be with you. Or with any girl, really.
14 He's Always Tired
The truth is that everyone gets tired sometimes. Life is pretty tiring and our modern schedules are pretty exhausting and ridiculous. You're on your iPhones before you even get out of bed in the morning, let alone get to the office, and you're working a full day plus probably bringing some work home at night or at least on some weekends. But if a guy is always saying that he's tired, that honestly means that he's way too immature to be dating you... or even dating in general. He just has no business trying to find a girlfriend or anything even remotely close to it. If someone is always tired, they're just proving that they're way too lame to try to take care of themselves and feel better and enjoy their life every single day. This is especially annoying if you're a really positive, upbeat person who enjoys a healthy lifestyle and tries to just have as much fun as possible. Plus you're going to get pretty sick of this guy always telling you that he's tired.
13 He Hates His Job
Sure, sometimes you end up in a job that you really don't love, or you take something to pay the bills for a while and end up staying way too long. It's okay if a guy hates his job. That doesn't automatically make him emotionally immature. But what does make him that way is if he hates his job... and refuses to do a single thing to change that fact. He should be taking steps toward actually finding a career path that he enjoys. He should be moving forward with his life instead of staying at the same old job and complaining about it all the time. This just proves that he's really immature and that he's not capable of following through with anything or getting his crap together. As you get older, you're more invested in your career, and you definitely have your stuff together. So you shouldn't date anyone who doesn't because that's just going to be a disaster.
12 He Gives You A Hard Time
Any guy that you're with should support you no matter what you're doing or thinking or feeling. You should never have a boyfriend who thinks your dreams are lame or that you shouldn't try to eat healthier or that saving up for something that matters to you is a bad idea. If this guy is giving you a hard time about everything that you do as well as all your opinions, that's a really bad sign. You want to get out as fast as humanly possible and never look back because this guy is a loser. He doesn't deserve you and he's not mature enough for you. Part of being a real adult is having respect for other people's thoughts and actions, and that gets even more crucial when you're dating someone. You would never dream of slamming down someone's opinions and emotions, and you would never tell your boyfriend that he shouldn't go to the gym several times a week or try to eat less sugar.
11 He Doesn't Value Your Time
If this guy is always canceling on you last-minute or rescheduling, then he's honestly super immature. He can't get it together enough to keep plans and that's never going to work for you. You not only deserve a boyfriend who can actually hold a plan, but you should want to date someone like that, too. It's not going to be much fun if you're always sitting at home because this guy suddenly had some last-minute crisis that he has to deal with. The truth is that he's probably just too tired to go out or he's wallowing in self-pity. Nope, that's not attractive and that's not going to work for you. If you ever meet someone who is a real canceller, then you can be sure that they're not adult enough for you. So make that decision and don't think twice about it. You don't have to justify this choice to anyone else.
10 He's Super Lazy
Ugh. Lazy guys are literally the worst. They try to drag you down to their super lazy level and they never, ever want to do anything. They claim that everything and anything is way too much effort. They don't want to grab brunch on a Sunday morning because it's too far (even when your fave place is a ten minute walk from your apartment). They don't want to see any movies. They don't want to go for a walk or head out to dinner or even make dinner. Everything is all pizza take-out and beer and Netflix, and while that stuff is pretty great most of the time, you want a boyfriend who's willing to get off his butt every once in a while. He's going to act like you're asking way too much of him but you're really not. You're just asking him to be a real boyfriend and a grown-up. If that's too much for him, then he's way too emotionally immature for you, and it's time to say goodbye.
9 He Makes It All A Big Joke
Ever had the super frustrating experience of trying to have a serious conversation with someone and they keep making jokes? Yup, you were probably talking to an emotionally immature guy, whether you realized it at the time or not. These guys are the worst and they will not have a real talk to save their lives. They seriously can't. It's like it's not in their DNA or something. You will never be able to say how you feel or ask how he feels about you because guess what? He's just not going to tell you. He's not interested in explaining and he's not ever going to change. There's no point getting mad at him because this just isn't ever going to go anywhere. The problem is this kind of funny guy seems so attractive at first because everyone loves a funny guy. This kind of person is so much better than a lame doormat who barely speaks, of course. But the funny guy is immature deep down, and that's not a good thing.
8 He's Vague
When a guy is vague about how he feels about you, you can be sure that he just doesn't have the maturity level to explain that he likes you. You can tell that he likes you because of how he acts and the fact that you keep going on things that seem to closely resemble dates (unless you're totally going crazy and don't get anything, of course, and that's also possible -- ugh, boys). But he's super vague when you try to get him to tell you if he likes you or not. He's going to say things like "Yeah, I like you and I like where things are going" and when you ask what that means or ask him to explain more, he's going to shrug and change the subject. He just doesn't want to get into it, but more than that, he can't get into it because he can't reach deep down into his soul and talk about his feelings. He's going to be vague because he'd rather not think about the future or you or your collective future.
7 He's Insulting
If this guy doesn't insult you, watch out because it's probably going to happen pretty soon. But even if he doesn't throw insults at you, he's probably insulting everyone else around him. You can tell he's too immature to date (or even exist, to be totally honest) if he keeps saying horrible things about his friends, family members, boss, coworkers, and even strangers on the subway and in the bar/restaurant that you're in right now. Seriously, mature people don't do that crap. They know when to shut up and be polite and they can handle not always liking the people in their lives 100 percent of the time. They can keep their mean thoughts to themselves and not be a terrible person about the whole thing. But nope, not this guy. He has to be honest and that means being super rude and insulting. This is really not someone that you should be associating with and spending time with.
6 He Shrugs Things Off
When someone upsets you or things don't go the way that you wanted them to or planned, it's okay to admit that you're annoyed or in pain. That's just part of life and it doesn't make you weak or a loser or anything like that. But the immature guy doesn't like to show his emotions -- and more than that, he's probably not even sure that he has emotions. He probably doesn't even know what emotions are. No, that's not a joke. That's honestly what's going on here. When you're dating this kind of guy, you'll realize that he shrugs all kinds of things off. He'll tell you really weird and sad stories about his childhood and what's going on at work and how he fell out with a best friend and you'll expect him to cry or at least show some sort of emotion. But no, he's just going to shrug and move on and change the subject, and you'll be left wondering why he even told you this in the first place.
5 He Breaks Down
If this guy is constantly in the middle of yet another nervous breakdown, that's not a good situation for you to be in. You can't be responsible for someone else's mental health. You just can't. There's a fine line between helping your boyfriend through a tough time because you care about him and he's honestly a good guy... and an emotionally immature guy who's always freaking out about one thing or another. You can easily tell the difference because it's super obvious. Ask yourself if your BF is legitimately having the first hard time he's ever had in the time that you've been together or if this is yet the same old story yet another day. No one expects you to be someone's therapist, so if you tend to be filling that role on a regular basis, you might want to seriously think about what you're really getting out of this whole deal. You're probably not in the right relationship because he's just not mature enough.
4 He Says Sorry Too Much
If your boyfriend has turned into a version of The Biebs aka he says sorry all the time, you have to realize that he's super emotionally immature. A guy should never be messing up enough that he has to apologize to you on a regular basis. While Justin may own his mistakes and that's really admirable, your boyfriend is too immature if he keeps messing up and messing up and messing up... and nothing ever changes. You just don't want the person that you're dating to say the word "sorry" constantly because that's just kind of lame. It ends up having zero meaning and it ends up being a really weird situation. If you find yourself in this endless cycle of apologies, you might want to think about whether or not you want to even stay in this relationship at all. The choice is yours, but know that if you stay, this is going to keep happening because he's too immature to change.
3 He Lives At Home
Unfortunately, living at home past a certain age just really isn't too cool and attractive. It's okay if there's a legit reason, like being in grad school or saving up to buy a condo or something, but at a certain point, it's just total proof that someone is too immature. If this guy is living in his parents' house and you feel he's too old to do that, then he probably is, and if he's immature on top of his living situation, then that's like double proof of his emotional state. He might be letting his mom make him dinner and do his laundry and that is really enough to make you want to gag forever and ever. Seriously, that stuff's not cute anymore, especially in your mid-to-late 20s (and above). You need to be with someone who is taking responsibility for himself and that includes paying his own rent, taking care of his bills, cleaning and cooking and running errands and all that adult stuff. It's just part of growing up.
2 He Never Follows Through
If this guy is always promising things that never happen or you get the feeling that none of his beliefs or dreams are ever going to come true, that's a real sign of his immaturity. You should never feel like your boyfriend is playing you or lying to you or manipulating you, but unfortunately, that's exactly how you're going to feel if he pulls this crap. It's one thing if your boyfriend says you're going to move in together or go on a trip and then that never happens. It's a whole other thing if he wants to start his own business or find a better job or something like that and he never does that, either. You want to be with someone who has dreams and hope for the future and who wants to become a better person, just like you want those things for yourself. Be honest with yourself and figure out if this guy is really right for you because chances are you, you didn't want to get into a serious thing with such an immature person.
1 He Hurts You
When a guy hurts you, it's not always because he's emotionally immature, of course. Heartbreak happens for a whole number of reasons and sometimes it's just timing or real life or annoying problems. But you can definitely tell that this guy who just hurts is emotionally immature when he truly breaks your heart and you know there's not really a legit reason... besides the fact that he's way too immature. You rack your brain and you feel like things were going super well. You got along and had fun and all that, but you always felt that something was missing and that something was going to come crashing down, probably sooner than you wanted it to. Then you have a lightbulb moment and realize that, oh yeah, this guy is super emotionally immature and that's exactly why things ended. He knew you were too good for him and he just couldn't handle you. And that's a good thing. Because now you're free to meet someone who is just as much of an adult as you are.