Like women, no two men are alike. That means if a guy wants to move in with you, his way will be slightly different than the next guy and the next guy and so on and so forth. Some guys are shy and others are more aggressive. Whatever his tactic, surely he’s got a way to show you how he’s feeling about the situation. If things have been going reasonably well, that might be enough for some men to feel that moving in is the next step. If things have been taking a while to build up, yet they suddenly show promise, that might be all it takes for a guy to see moving in as the natural progression of the relationship. Each man looks at the relationship differently and has his own needs. Over all, men won’t always say what’s on their minds. They are the kings of non-verbal language. They are also the kings of silence. Whatever the case, study his habits, study his body and his actions. What is he trying to say to you? What does it all mean? He might want a lifelong relationship or a place to stay for the next few weeks until he finds his next boo. Make sure you study the situation closely to avoid falling victim to scam or pressure. The decision to move is should not be taken lightly and should be evaluated thoroughly –especially if he’s talking about moving in with you.
15 Sleeps over
No, sleeping over alone is not a sign if he wants to move in with you; however, if he’s doing it more often it could suggest he’s considering co-habitation. Spending more time together means that the relationship is getting serious, you both enjoy the company, and being apart isn’t easy. If he tends to sleep over more than once a week or even in the middle of the week, he’s leaving little signals that seem to spell out the words, Let’s live together. You should also consider if he’s left a pair of pajamas laying around which is a clear sign that he’s already taken steps into making his dream a reality. The more we sleep together, the more we’re showing certain levels of commitment and co-habitation. Maybe you didn’t read the signs, but he’s surely giving them out. Take a moment and consider the sleeping habits you’ve created as a couple.
He actively wants to make dinners with you; and it’s not just on the weekends. He joins you in the kitchen and offers to help cut or clean something. He might even offer to cook the entire meal or clean up after you’re done cooking. He’s showing interest not just in you, but in the meal that’s being made to fed the two of you. That shows he’s really into you and the relationship, but also the possibility that you two could eat dinners together every night together, like this, him helping you, you helping him –real teamwork, couple stuff. The simple act of him joining you in that quote, unquote sacred women’s space is so subtle, yet speaks so loudly. He’s totally into the idea of you and him in the kitchen together; perhaps even doing a little more than just cooking food.
Maybe he brings up your closest couple friends and mentions the fact that since they moved in together things have been going really well. Maybe he talks about his cousin who just moved in with his girlfriend and how the relationship has flourished. Maybe he even points out couples in films who live together. He’s got something he wants to get off his chest, he wants to ask, but for now he’s happy hinting and even happier studying your reaction. Through gauging your reaction, he will be able to determine if you’re into the idea or not. You might be wondering why he keeps brining up his cousin and his girlfriend, but he’s got a method to his madness. Plus, it’s something so strong in his heart of hearts that he can’t deny the heart what the heart wants. He’s testing the idea out on you; your response will make or break his day.
It’s one thing to respect the home of another, but it’s a whole other thing to actively, and without being asked, to clean up someone’s apartment. Actually, no one but moms do stuff like that or women who feel like their role is that of the domestic. If he cleans your bathroom and you never even suggested it was dirty or complained about it’s filth –he’s trying to win you over with some domestic points. If he spring cleans the windows and you didn’t even know people did that –he’s showing off in hopes of winning your affections. Some men are into tidy, organized spaces, so he might just be letting that part of himself free; and you should be thankful that he is so impeccable, my dear. But if you know he’s not really into cleaning, like at all, yet somehow he’s holding the vacuum in one hand and a duster in the other, you’ve got a man who’s dropping hints hard.
11 Money talk
He might just be curious when he asks you about how much your rent is. He might just be nosey when he asks how much you make. He might be shopping around for providers when he asks about your phone charges and internet service and electric and gas bills. He might be an accountant. If he’s checking out how much you make and how much you spend, he might want to help you with your finances especially if you’re notoriously broke or struggling to save even a penny. But if you see the wheels turning and feel a little pull in your gut –that might be a sign that he’s sizing up the situation in financial terms and will use the money issue as a selling point as to why you two should live together. Be warned, money is not a reason why you should move in with anyone, especially if you’re not into the idea. Don’t let the old dollar bill persuade you into co-habitation if you are satisfied with you independence.
10 Buys groceries
Did he just come over, out of the blue mind you, with a few bags of groceries? Did he bring over your favorite non-dairy milk because he noticed you were running low? Did he pick up your favorite pasta because he knows it was a hard week this week? I mean, boyfriends and husbands around the world should do stuff like this for their women considering all the things we do for them. This should be a given. However, society doesn’t tell me they have to take care of us beyond the bedroom and the bank account. So if he’s going above and beyond the call of duty and making purchases that are simple yet vital for your everyday bliss, he’s not only showing you that he’s madly in love with you, but he’s also showing you that he can make you happy like this all the time if you two lived together.
9 Leaves something behind
You’re minding your business brushing your teeth and then you notice, on the other side of the sink, is another toothbrush. You know it’s not yours because you’re is clearly in your mouth. You’re looking for something under the bed and reach out and pull back a man’s shoe. You open your panty drawer and notice a nicely folder pair of boxers in the corner. You scan the room and find more things he’s left behind –a phone charger, a sunglasses case, a half-eaten box of cookies that only he likes. Stop and breathe. This is not about him wanting to move in anymore. He’s clearly, without you noticing and without even asking you, moved in. He will tell you he hasn’t if you ask him; he will even use the fact that he has his own place still as an excuse. But all those things of his laying around your apartment are indicators that he’s moving in for the attack.
Your coming home from a dinner together, laughing and whatnot. It was a great night. You stick your hands in your purse and, like you always do, search around for a few minutes into that abyss trying to locate the keys through sound and touch. Before you know it, he’s smiling and swinging open your apartment door and, like, inviting you in to your own place. That was weird, right. Nope, not weird. He’s made a copy of your key. Maybe you gave him permission and you don’t remember, maybe he did it without asking –whatever the case, y’all gotta talk now if this is something you don’t feel comfortable with. He might be innocently getting closer to you, but he might also be one of those guys who’s got trust issues and wants to come over at the drop of a hat to check on you or to stop by when you’re not around to snoop on you.
7 Weekend crasher
It’s one thing to say over during the week, that happens once in a blue and no big deal, right. But what about when he’s saying all weekend, every weekend. It does say that things are going well between you two and spending entire weekends together feels nice and natural and that you’re probably pretty serious. But it also says that he’s totally into the idea of sleep with and waking up to you all week long. Duh, girl, who wouldn’t right, but that’s not the point. The point is that he’s dropping clues and hoping that you’ll pick up on them. He’s sleeping over more often because he’s down with the idea of being in your bed all days of the week. If you’re not into that, let it be known. Or ask to get a weekend alone and see how he reacts. But him sleeping over all damn weekend says he’s comfortable with you and where this relationship is going. The question is, are you?
Guys love to suggest stuff as if we don’t know how to manage our own lives. They swear we need help because we’re women and weak and defenceless and blahblahblah; little do they know. But that’s not the point. Guys like to try and tell us what to do and it’s usually based on what they think is best for us and not what might actually be best for us. Sure, they might have good intentions, but sometimes if advised isn’t requested, the best thing to do is stay quiet. Guys don’t get that. They think all their suggestions are the greatest. If you hear your man saying things like, Are you sure you can afford this & Wouldn’t it be nice if we lived together because of abc and xyz, you can be sure he’s plotted out the plan even before he’s gotten your approval.
5 Plural possessive
The way we use language says so much about what’s on our hearts and our minds. Sometimes the way we use language is a subconscious act, but other times it’s used to manipulate a situation. We can target the intentions of someone if we study what they do or don’t say and how they say it. What is your man saying? Is he using plural possessives like our? If he’s talking about our live and our future, that’s cute and he’s letting you know that he take you and the relationship seriously. But if he starts saying things like our place or our apartment, our bed, our sofa, our door, our bathroom, our kitchen, our knife –girl, don’t take that lightly. First of all, all that stuff is yours, not his. Second of all, did y’all even talk about using plural possessives like that? Finally, he’d better check himself.
Some experts say men have better spatial abilities than women, but those experts are from the 70s and 80s and are old now and their theories are even older and played out. However, some men hold fast to certain hypothesis that stem from yesteryear. They swear they are stronger and smarter and have better spatial abilities than we do. Girl, let them believe whatever they want –we know the truth deep down in our life-giving loins. Should your man begin to arrange things, like move them around, he’s looking to mark his territory. Should your man even redecorate, like paint the walls or hang some pictures, he’s claiming space. Should he go into cabinets and clean things out, he already feels like he’s home. In this case, he doesn’t feel like he wants to move in with you because he already has. Before you know it, you’re lovely lady apartment is gonna be shadowed by all his vibes. Don’t let that happen and not without having had a conversation about it first.
The sink is leaking. The oven doesn’t get hot enough. The window won’t open all the way. The door handle is loose. The internet is too slow. The bed is squeaky. If you mention any one of those household issues and before you know it, they are fixed –he’s telling you that he’s the man for the job. And you might want to take him up on that. Not all guys are handymen. The old fit-it-yourself man of previous generations seems to be just a myth and legend. Having a man like that around surely has its advantages. That does not mean it’s reason for him to move in with you, that’s totally up to you and based on what works best for you. The point is, if he’s showing you his skills it’s not only for ego, but it could be that he’s trying out for a position. The position being the man who lives with you.
Maybe you are short on some bills this month and he helps out. Maybe your internet service is less than the best and he calls the company to make an appointment. This is less about fixing things, but being a support system for you. Maybe he knows that you’ve always wanted a grandfather clock and he buys one for you at the flea market. Maybe he sees that you’re pots and pans are ruined and gets you a new set. He’s taking interest in your living space and how you live which means he might be considering making that space a space where he, too, lives. There’s no doubt about it, he’s crazy for you, but he’s also crazy about the idea of being your live-in roommate and lover. Let the idea sink in a bit and see how you feel about it before you make any hasty decisions.
There are some guys that hint. They beat around that bush, they leave signs and hints and clues and want you to pick up on them and read into them and understand them completely. There are some guys like that. On the other hand, there are some guys who are totally not into that and instead of taking the long route to their planned destination, they get straight to the point. Instead of doing any of the aforementioned things or anything else that might not be on this list, he asks you straight up if he can move in with you. This is not a test, it’s not a trick or a hoax. He really genuinely wants to know because he really genuinely has thought about it and decided that’s what he wants. Since he’s a straight shooter, be honest with him. Maybe you need to talk this through for a bit or have a trial live-in period to see how things work out.