So you and your boyfriend have been dating for a few months now and your relationship is going super well. You've recently transitioned past casual dating and now you're exclusive and think that you might have found a keeper. You have explosive chemistry, like all of the same things, and genuinely enjoy each other's company. Your new guy is funny, charismatic, handsome, and a perfect gentlemen. Long story short, you could actually see yourself building a future with this guy. Naturally, you want to find out if he's on the same page, but your relationship is still too fresh to bring up the future. You fear that if you come across as too pushy to progress your relationship, that you will scare him away, possibly for good. But it's literally going to eat away at until you know where his head is at. So, how do you figure out if you boyfriend is in it for the long haul without outright asking him? Easy. All of the signs lie in the way that he treats you and the things that he says. Here are 15 ways to know that your man is in it for the long haul.
15 He Includes You In Future Plans
Does your boyfriend talk about the future? If yes, then in what context? A guy who only sees you as a temporary fix will talk about the future, sure, but it's all about his own and has nothing to do with you. He might tell you all about his career goals and all of the things that he hopes to achieve by a certain age, but you'll notice that he rarely mentions your future together. If you ask him, he might include you half-heartedly, but you'll be able to tell whether it's genuine or not. But it's most likely that he doesn't mention you at all. On the other hand, a guy who uses words like "we" and "us" when talking about the future definitely sees you in his. That's a good sign. Of course, the future is not set in stone but at least you know that, from this moment, he believes that you two can have a life together. And that's all that anyone can really ask for.
14 He Talks About Your Future Kids
Have you and your man ever talked about planning a family? This is a pretty obvious indication that your boyfriend wants to build a future with you. No guy is going to talk about having kids with you if he doesn't see a future with you, so if he does, it's definitely a good sign. It's sort of sweet when you think about it because it not only says that he wants to be with you but that you have qualities that he feels would make you a great mom. He thinks you're caring, and kind and would trust you with the role of raising his kids with him. If he already has kids, he's going to make an effort to integrate you into their lives after a reasonable amount of time. If he has absolutely no interest in merging his existing family with you, then you know that he's just passing the time with you, and you should be glad to know now.
13 He Asks You About Your Past
Does your boyfriend ask you about your past? If so, then that's a great sign that he's in it for the long haul. A guy who doesn't care about your past definitely isn't interested in your future. Some people prefer to leave the past in the past but that's not the best way to go because your past makes you who you are, whether you like it or not. To know where we're going, we have to know where we've been. If we're being super smart, we're going to learn from our mistakes and use them as examples of what not to do. If your guy seems interested in learning about the person you were, he's showing you that he wants to assist and be a part of your growth in the current day. If he doesn't care about your past at all, he doesn't want you in his future and he's definitely not in it for the long run because he doesn't care how much you've changed and grown.
12 He Respects Your Opinions
We've all dated guys who were super arrogant and thought they were always right, no matter what the conversation topic or situation. They always felt that their words were the end all, be all. This is not only crazy annoying but also super rude. Dating a guy like this will make arguments even worse because he's going to ignore anything logical that you say. A guy who wants to be with you, in the long run, will make sure that he respects you and your opinions. More than that, he's always going to value what you have to say and what you think and feel. He may not always agree with you, but he will respect your right to have an opinion independent from his. That's super important, not just in long term relationships, but also short term. A guy who doesn't respect you will never be able to give you what you need, mentally or emotionally.
11 He Makes Big Decisions With You
Guys who are invested in their relationships don't make major decisions without consulting their partner. They just don't. They would never take a job across the country or decide to move apartments without at least having an open conversation about it. It's not a question of feeling obligated but one of respect. While some guys wouldn't think twice about packing up and leaving, the guy for you understands that you have your own life and might not be able to just leave your life behind. He will ask for your input because his decisions will affect you just as much as they will affect him and he will make sure to clue you in so that you're not blindsided. That's a great way to know that he plans on building a future with you. You can't do much better than a guy who will give you a heads up about major life decisions.
10 He Takes Care of You When You're Sick
Once we reach a certain age and move out of our parents' house, it's pretty much up to us to take care of ourselves while we are sick. Being sick is never fun. But being sick when your partner isn't nurturing or attentive is the absolute worst. Some guys, on top of ignoring your needs, will actually demand that you do stuff for them while you're not feeling well. No one has time for that. If you're in a relationship with the right person, he will be like a built in care-taker. Ideally, your boyfriend would be willing to look after you when you're under the weather. You know, bring you tissues and soup and juice. He should also want to make sure that you're as comfortable as possible. Of course, you would return the favor when he's sick, too. If a guy doesn't want to be with you forever, he won't care that you're sick because he won't be that caring and nurturing.
9 He Wants To Buy A Pet With You
Buying a pet together is a huge step that neither you or your BF should take lightly. If you've ever seen reality court shows, then you know that pet custody cases can get pretty bad. Some people love their pets more than (or at least equal) to their family. If they already have kids, then they view the pet as like a bonus child, but if they don't then you can be sure that they see it as their baby. No one wants to go through the hassle of dividing sharing and creating visitation schedules. That's why a woman who a guy buys a pet with is a woman who he believes will be with him for years to come. She's someone who will love the animal as much as he does and won't run off with him without notice. Now, not everyone likes animals, so it's not necessarily a red flag if he doesn't want to get a pet. But if he does, then you know that he believes that your relationship is meant to last.
8 You're Happy Doing Anything At All
By the time that you get to the stage where you can even think about where your relationship is headed, the exciting, puppy love stage has probably pretty much worn off. If you and your guy are meant to be, then this will be the time that your relationship heads into a deeper level of intimacy. You were both putting your best foot forward to impress each other before, now you're pretty comfortable with each other. Sure, the butterflies in your stomach won't flutter as much, but the trade-off is that you'll feel happy and secure with him. Do you get the feeling that your guy enjoys your company? Does being in your presence make him feel happy? Could you spend a lazy Sunday lounging around one of your apartments, eating pancakes and binge-watching Netflix and feel on top of the world? If you can feel perfectly content with each other during life's less exciting moments, then you know that you've got yourself a keeper.
7 You've Met Each Other's Families
Family is extremely important to most people. In some cases, what your boyfriend's family thinks of you could totally and completely influence if he stays with you or not. If his mom or another immediate family member is unsure about you, then that will definitely work against you. On the other hand, if they absolutely adore you, that could win you major points. It can suck to have other people get super involved in your relationship, but it can be a good thing when you become a part of each other's families. For example, when you're so blinded by love that you can't see that you're being played from a mile away, your family will give you a heads up. That's why it's so important that you make sure that you hit it off with his family and vice versa. For these reasons, it's very telling if a guy takes his time introducing you to his family (if he has one). It essentially means that he doesn't care to seamlessly merge his new life (you) with his old (life) because he doesn't plan to have you around long.
6 He Takes An Interest In What Makes You Happy
Most of us definitely put love at the top of our list, but we all need more than romantic relationships to feel super fulfilled. We have passions and goals and other things that we need to do outside of our relationships in order to feel like a well-rounded person. A great guy will understand this and won't feel slighted by our need to pursue our own personal passions. In fact, he will not only give you personal time that we all need to develop and grow, but he will also let you know that he cares about the things that you care about and try to get involved (when appropriate.) For example, if you're a dancer, your boyfriend might show support by coming to some of your shows or volunteering to watch you while you're rehearsing. He might help you book your gigs and make sure that your schedule is sorted out. Little things like this go a long way and are really sweet ways that will prove that he cares about you.
5 He Goes Out Of His Way For You
Does your boyfriend do nice things for you just because he can? Does he change his plans for you? If you needed a ride to work, would he make sure that you got there in time? Does he ever surprise you with roses or a nice box of chocolate? You'll know if you have a keeper by how much effort he puts into your relationship. This doesn't mean that he can fulfill your every demand (or that you should be demanding) but that he tries to enhance your life when he can. This is a great sign that he cares about you and just wants to make you happy. Even if he fails, just knowing that he wants to make you happy means that your emotional well-being is important to him. On the other hand, a guy who never tries to make you feel special doesn't necessarily not have any interest in doing so. It's just a fact of life that some guys are simply clueless when it comes to this aspect of relationships.
4 He Trusts You
Does your boyfriend trust you with his secrets? Can he be vulnerable around you? Society's gender roles have made most men believe that showing emotions is something that only women do. And that by being emotional, they are somehow less than a man. That's why it's hard for some guys to show anything even remotely close to feelings. The one person that he usually will confide in is his girlfriend or wife...if he feels that he can trust her. He won't part ways with his most intimate thoughts for just anyone, though. She has to be someone who he feels is really special. If your boyfriend shares his feelings, hopes, dreams and deepest desires with you, then you can be sure that he believes that you will all always hold them close to your heart and that you won't tell anyone. That, in part, means that he plans to be around for awhile.
3 He's Consistent
A man who really wants to be in your life is going to be consistent. Because he recognizes how valuable you are from the jump he will do everything in his power to keep you from finding someone else. That means that you don't have to worry about him playing games with your feelings. There are no mind games involved and you don't have to wonder where you stand with him. He doesn't disappear for days at a time or try to make you jealous. He won't leave you hanging when you need him most. And, most importantly, he won't make you wonder whether he loves you or not. He shows this in many ways, from flat out telling you, to making you feel safe so it's never a question that comes up. This is one of the best ways to figure out if he wants to be with you and the way that most women would no doubt prefer to be told.
2 He Makes Time For You
Does your boyfriend make time for you? How much? How often? Everyone has busy lives, but people make time for the things and people that are important to them. There's simply no way around it. If your man is always canceling your dates and missing important milestone events like birthdays, college graduations, or promotion parties, then he's showing you that you're not on his list of priorities. At the very least, you're extremely low on his list, which isn't much better in my opinion. A guy who values you will (within reason) shift his schedule around the things that are important to you, even if that means he has to sacrifice some of his plans. He'll put in extra time to coordinate schedules and really let you know that he's been thinking about you. Even if he doesn't have much free time out of work, he will make the time that he does have count.
1 He Tells You
In the best case scenario, you won't have to search far and wide to find out if your boyfriend wants to be in a committed relationship with you. Believe it or not, there are some (lucky) women who don't have to deal with this because their partner is upfront in articulating his desire to be with them. This guy will make it known to both you and the world that you are the love of his life and that he couldn't imagine not having you in his world. He will shower you with sweet nothings and tell you how lucky he is to have you. He will leave absolutely no room for doubt about whether he wants to be with your or not. If your boyfriend is like this, then you should honestly be thrilled that he wants to be with you for the long haul. And you should never let him go, because if nothing else, you never have to read his mind, which is pretty awesome.