A lot of people love to cuddle with their loved ones, and it's actually really good for you. Cuddling can reduce stress, increase the function of the immune system, lower the risk of heart disease, reduce social anxiety and increase positive feelings about the world at large, and increase the level of bonding and deepen relationships. Not to mention that cuddling can also sometimes lead to more, which makes it a very healthy part of a functioning romantic relationship. But not everyone is quite so big on cuddling. Sometimes when someone doesn't want to cuddle with you, it's just because they hate it for some reason, but it can actually be a sign that they're not that into you in a romantic way. Cuddling has the potential to be so bonding that it can be seen as more intimate than doing the deed itself, so it's not always something that every guy is willing to give away to every girl. Here are 15 signs that he just hates cuddling.
15 He Drops Tons Of Hints
If your guy says things like "I just get so hot when I sleep," or "This bed seems much smaller for some reason," or he tends to say how badly he slept on the nights that you stayed over, it might be because he hates cuddling during the night. Sure, it can get a little warm to stay intertwined the whole night through, especially during the summer months when it's hard enough just keeping a sheet on. If you need to find a compromise, maybe throw it out there that the two of you can cuddle for a couple minutes before bed but have no requirements when it comes to keeping the skin on skin contact through the night. After all, relationships do require quite a bit of compromise, and the bedroom is no different. If he isn't willing to meet you halfway though you might want to think about any sacrifices that you're making for him. If cuddling is really important to you he should be able to pull it together some of the time to make you happy.
14 He Doesn't Love Babies
Babies are pretty cuddly creatures based on the fact that they can't stand or walk on their own. They're also programmed to be cute so that humans fall in love with them and vow to keep them alive, so it's in their best interest to pull on your heartstrings by being sweet and adorable as much as possible. Besides the fact that babies sometimes have an abnormally large head and eyes compared to the rest of their body, they're super cuddly because they're totally at home in someone else's arms. It makes you feel like they really need you or something. It's not like the guy is anti-children in general, but if there's a baby in the room that someone offers him to hold he'll politely decline... or he'll jump back and run to the other side of the room to grab a beer or something. He's either scared of them and doesn't want to drop the baby, or he knows that level of closeness could make him feel some things that he just doesn't want to feel.
13 He Jumps Out Of Bed Immediately
When people aren't opposed to cuddling, they aren't usually trying to avoid human contact, and might stick around for a minute after to be a little cuddly before they get up to deal with any cleaning up that needs to take place. But if he really hates cuddling he's more likely to launch out of the bed before you've even hardly noticed that it's over. He doesn't want to risk the chance of getting caught in your embrace so he slips away like a sly fox. If he's your boyfriend then okay, he might just be really anti-cuddling. But if it's a new guy or an undetermined sort of relationship you might be wondering whether the cuddle avoidance has something to do with his desire to keep things casual. Cuddling does increase the levels of bonding thanks to the feel good hormones that it releases, which he might know at least instinctively and wants to avoid as much as possible so as not to give you the wrong idea about his intentions.
12 He Doesn't Get Back In Bed
Sometimes people really do jump out of bed quickly to deal with the aftermath of the deed, but once they do they can totally get back into bed. There's plenty of opportunity to have a great cuddling session after the two of you get heated. But if he doesn't love cuddling, he might dawdle around until you either get the hint that he isn't coming back and therefore get out of bed, or until you get comfortable enough that you're on your way to snooze land and he can get back in bed without thinking that you'll need anything else from him. What could he possibly be doing in the other room? If he's drinking water or something he better bring some back with him. He might lay back down the second you're fully dressed and offer a super lame "oh you're leaving?" as he spreads out and covers the entire bed with his man body. If this starts to become a habit, something is probably up.
11 He Asks Half-Heartedly If You Want To Stay Over
After you guys hook-up, he asks if you're going to stay over in that tone of voice that's really hard to read. But the thing is if he was expecting you to stay though he probably wouldn't even have to say anything, it would just be sort of a given and you'd both go about getting ready for bed stuff. By asking this, he's making you doubt that he really wants you to stay over. At that point, if you ask what he wants he'll shrug and say he doesn't care, but again that means that he would prefer you'd just decide for yourself that it's time to go. A lot of guys use this strategy so girls leave the apartment without getting too comfortable and settling in for the entire evening. If he doesn't want you to sleep over, he definitely wants his own space. The question is whether it's just because he's a light sleeper or because he doesn't want a girlfriend.
10 He's Mentioned Sleeping Separately
Maybe you guys were watching some show where a married couple slept separately and had different bedrooms... and he mentioned that, hey, it didn't seem like the worst idea in the world. Interestingly, more people do this than you might think. According to a 2015 survey by the National Sleep Foundation, as many as 25 percent of couples sleep in different beds at night. The upsides to not sharing a bed might include better sleep, depending on who you're sleeping with. When one person snores or is a very fitful sleeper, it can keep the other up and lead to resentment down the line for their ever growing exhaustion. But on the other hand, many people need the closeness of sleeping next to someone to build and sustain the intimacy in their relationship. Not to mention when you're sleeping in different beds it can take away some of the spontaneity of being intimate before you fall asleep or first thing when you wake up in the morning.
9 He Won't Sleep At Your Place
Whenever he comes over to your place, he always finds a reason to leave at the end of the night, which is generally because he just doesn't feel like he can ever sleep well at your place. It's a pretty legitimate excuse... if it's a real one. We can all understand the need to get some uninterrupted sleep here and there to help us get through our days without falling asleep at work. But maybe the reason he can't sleep at your place is because he's stressed out about the fact that you like to cuddle, and he doesn't as feel as confident in declining while he's not on his home turf. In his bed he might just roll over and be done with it, but it your bed he feels like he needs to be a little more polite or something. So just leaving might be an easier option. But if he sleeps fine with you at his house and can't sleep at your house that seems a little weird, unless you have something noisy or bright happening that isn't going down at his spot.
8 He Takes Up The Entire Couch
When you guys are Netflix and chilling you're actually just Netflix and Chilling because you're not close enough to one another for anything else to go down. The guy who doesn't like to cuddle is either going to sit far apart from you on the couch or he's going to take up a ton of space so that you can't even fit onto the couch at all. Hopefully, there's another couch nearby for you to inhabit as well. It's not necessarily that he doesn't enjoy your company from over there, but for some reason, he feels the need to keep his own space while he enjoys his shows. Do keep in mind, however, that the more distance he has on the couch, the more freely he can check his phone without you peering onto the screen and getting a glimpse of who and what he's texting. So if you think he might be up to no good you might think to be wary of the fact that he doesn't seem to want you in close proximity except when he's calling the shots.
7 He Rolls Away From You Toward The Wall
Maybe he just likes a bit of privacy when he sleeps. But if he always rolls away from you in bed to face the wall, he's probably trying to make it clear that a cuddle session isn't on the table. It's sort of hard to cuddle with him in that position unless you're taking on the big spoon position or plan on just cuddling his back while he lays there possibly wishing you wouldn't. It's pretty natural to end up in all kinds of weird positions throughout the night, but when it happens right away, it can feel like a bit like being shut out. It's possible that he doesn't even realize that he does this, so if you're in a relationship there's no harm in mentioning it or just being like "Wait, I want to cuddle." Could work. If it's a little more casual on the other hand he might be doing it on purpose to keep things clear that cuddling isn't included in the deal of whatever else it is that you guys have been doing. At least he's fine with you sleeping there.
6 He Uses A Separate Blanket
Having two blankets on the bed isn't all too uncommon, but generally, they're used for layering to keep warm. But a guy who isn't interested in cuddling might assign one blanket for each of you and roll up into his before you can try to get in with him. This is like literally placing a barrier between the two of you, you can only get so close when he's rolled up like a human burrito. Sure it might be cozy, but cozier than a cuddle session? Probably not. This guy seriously likes his space and it's making it clear that you should respect it. At least he offered you your own blanket as opposed to just leaving you out in the cold. If anyone ever rolls up in the single blanket and leaves you out in the cold you better yank that blanket right back or get right up out of that bed because no thank you. No cold toes or restless freezing sleep for you, you need your beauty sleep. (Which is a real thing, by the way, the body does it's repairing and regenerating when you're sleeping.)
5 He Doesn't Love Animals
It's not that he doesn't like animals, but he doesn't seem to really love them. He certainly doesn't have any interest in having one of his own. Not all animals are of the cuddly variety of course, so I guess if he has a turtle or something but doesn't love dogs this might still apply. Dogs and cats are going to cuddle with you whether you like it or not which is actually really sweet of them when you think about it. Not that it's always convenient for you if your cat tries to sit on your computer or if your dog won't stop licking your leg. But it's cute. A lot of people get dogs and cats specifically so they can have someone to cuddle with when no one else is around. They have their moments but for the most part, you can always count on a pet to climb into bed with you and snuggle up if you'll actually allow them on the bed. Pets are like professional nappers so they're always interested in a good chill session.
4 He Has A Cuddling Alarm
It almost seems like there's an alarm that goes off in his body or something when it comes to cuddling. One minute you guys are wrapped up in a totally normal cuddle (which to you seems great), and the next minute he's like "k" and peels your arm off of his shoulder and scoots away. He's making an effort since he thinks you like it, but he can't be bothered to do it for too long otherwise, he gets totally uncomfortable or something. People who love cuddling could do it all night with the person that they care about, but some people just don't have it in them. If cuddling is an important part of a relationship to you it might be crucial to find someone who does have in them, however. If this is off balance you might start to feel rejected when you aren't or just always feel like you're being unfulfilled in the touch department. Some people just need more cuddling than other, while some people don't seem to need it at all.
3 He's Bad At It
You might be able to tell that he doesn't love cuddling by the fact that he just isn't good at it. Like he tries for a bit but the positions that he gets into aren't comfortable for either of you so they just don't end up lasting too long. Wait, is he bad at cuddling on purpose? He wouldn't. Would he? Maybe he's just a bad cuddler because he's never really made an effort to do it before but he's actually trying because he actually likes you. Now that would be cute. Maybe he's a major over thinker and he's afraid to do it wrong or something instead of just staying in the moment. You can probably relate in other situations. If that's the case you just need to shape him into the cuddle buddy that you've always dreamed of, because you deserve it. Start leading the way in the cuddle department and you might find that he picks it up and becomes the best cuddler ever. Maybe he'll even start to enjoy it, who knows. It's worth a try.
2 You Can Tell He Doesn't Enjoy It
Intuition is a very real and strong thing, so if you're just getting the sense that he isn't into cuddling even while he's doing it you're probably picking up on something. Start to pay attention to the small bits of intuition that you get when you're dealing with people and then notice what happens later. More often than not you'll find that you were totally accurate about things even when there didn't seem to be any reason to think it beyond just your intuition. (Unless you're generally a paranoid person, but that's another issue altogether.) If you're sensing that he doesn't like to cuddle what matters is whether you're also sensing that he doesn't like to be close to you in general or not. Be honest with yourself, if you love to spend time with him there's only so much time you can spend getting physical with someone who doesn't enjoy every minute of being close to you back. Your vibes tell the truth.
1 He Tells You
If a guy straight out says that he doesn't love to cuddle, then he probably just doesn't like to cuddle. Not everyone does. If you're going to try and convince him to give it a go you might as well have some facts to lay out on the table that might interest him. Cuddling, for example, can be a great way to reduce pain since it releases oxytocin which makes you feel good. It can also boost your immune system because it leads to an increase in certain hormones that can help to fight infection. So basically cuddling might be able to help keep you happier and healthier. Although you probably have to enjoy the person that you're cuddling with to really get these benefits. Then again some people actually pay to get cuddled by strangers, that's how enjoyable and even important it can be to get some human contact every once in awhile. Even just ten minutes of cuddling a day has shown differences to the hormone levels in the body.