Are you a boring person? It is a tough question to ask yourself and an even tougher question to answer honestly. It means facing a part of yourself that you try to keep hidden from the world. You want people to see you as strong, dependable, and stable, but the world just sees you as drab, unexciting, and plain.
For many of us, we hide who we really are, building a wall that no one can see into. It makes up appear to be boring, but sane. People don’t really want to hang out with us or invite us to parties, but they do call us up when they are trying to sort out the drama in their own lives.
Being boring also means that it will be difficult to get a man interested in us. We aren’t generally outgoing and we don’t say the outrageous things that the fun girls say to get the attention.
The good news is that you can change yourself and your ways. You can safely let a little of yourself shine outwards without going all crazy. You can learn social skills and you can start letting yourself learn to have fun without damaging your personal reputation. You just need to recognize the signs of people being bored by you and take the necessary steps to change things up a bit.
15 He Cuts You Off When You Bring Up Your Favorite Topic
You love everything about Japanese anime. It is the only thing you watch on Netflix, you collect anime stories, and your place has little anime shrines tucked about here and there. But, whenever you bring up anime to your boyfriend, he immediately cuts you off and tries to change the conversation to something else.
Why does he do this? Probably because you are boring the crap out of him. Sure, we all should have a hobby and follow something we absolutely love, but that doesn’t mean that everyone loves the same thing you do.
Instead of always talking about your interests, work to explore his interests, too. Let’s pretend that he is into soccer. You might not like soccer, but you might want to, at the very least, find out which is his favorite team and why.
Find a together interest, too. It has to be something you both enjoy so that you can share in it together. That way, you will always have something mutually interesting to talk about.
14 When He Comes Over He Brings Something To Do
Do you want to know the first thing I do when I am compelled to go somewhere that I know will bore me? I grab a book and pack my purse full of writing paper and pens. My oldest daughter and son simply take out their smartphones and start playing games. I think that nearly everyone has a backup source of entertainment when the know they are going someplace that would otherwise put them to sleep.
What does your boyfriend bring when he comes over? Is it something for both of you to do or is it just something to keep himself occupied? If it is something for both of you, then great. He is taking an active role in keeping your lives interesting. If he is bringing something along just for himself to do and it does not include school work or business work, then he is probably bored when he comes over. Try and think of ways to make his visits more exciting and enjoyable, otherwise he might stop coming over altogether.
13 You Never Say Yes To Any Of His Fun Ideas
Are you a Debbie Downer? A poopy head when it comes to having fun? You are if you never want to try out anything new and exciting.
Let’s say your guy comes up with this idea to throw a pool party at his parent’s house, inviting all your and his friends. You automatically go into annoyance mood. You would have to plan everything, organize who is bringing what, and worst of all you believe that you would be the one stuck cleaning up the mess after the party was over. It is not your cup of tea. So, after bitching at him about all the things that could go wrong, he finally gives in and lets you have your way, which is boring.
You don’t have to give in to all his crazy ideas, but every once in a while would be nice. It would keep things interesting and, you never know, you might actually have some fun.
12 He Can Predict What You Are About To Say
Is your guy able to carry on an entire conversation, saying both his lines and your lines with perfect accuracy? Does he already know what you are going to say before you even say it or know your answer? Are you really that predictable?
How would you feel if you were dating someone and you knew what they were going to say long before they say it? It would be boring and tedious and just a waste of time. You wouldn’t want to hang out with someone so predictable, so why are you being so mundane yourself?
Change things up. Give him a totally different answer than the one he is expecting. Suggest that the two of you do something that you have always said no to before. Put some excitement into your relationship before it ends in one giant snore. In other words, be more spontaneous and refuse to say the same things you have said in the past.
11 Constantly Checks The Time
It is the universal sign of boredom and a desire to be someplace else. If you find that the guy you are crushing on is constantly checking his watch or the time on his phone whenever you are around, you might be boring him.
You can call him out on it and ask him if there is someplace else he would rather be or you can start learning what he likes. Pull him into a conversation where he gets to talk about himself. Find a common interest with him and use it as a focal point in your conversations with him. That way you will always have a starting point to any conversation you have with him in the future.
If talking to him makes you super nervous, practice this interaction skill on other people until you’ve got it down. After all, most people are perceived as being boring simply because they tend to be shy.
10 He Comes Over To Sleep
He has got roommates back at his place and you know that it can get loud over there, so you call up your new man and ask him if he wants to spend the night at your apartment. He says yes and that he’ll be over at 10 pm. That seems kind of late for hanging out for some overnight fun, but you agree to the time. When he finally shows up, you quickly find out that he took you literally. He heads straight for the bedroom and, after the two of you settle in to watch Netflix in bed, he passes out like a light. Where is the fun in that? And furthermore, why are you putting up with a guy that only comes over to sleep?
While your new man may be a jerk, you also need to give thought as to whether or not you have been giving off the safe but boring vibe. You might think you are just being a stable person, but if guys come over just to catch up on some sleep, there may be a problem with your social skills.
9 Never Wants To Go To Special Places With You
Sure, he may have already taken you to meet his parents. Boring girls are great for meeting the parents because they never say the wrong thing. They just sit there, either mute or talking about something drab and uneventful. Has he taken you anywhere else, though?
Fun, interesting girls get taken to meet the friends, to hang out, and they get to go on fun vacations. Boring girls don’t get that whirling thrill treatment because he figures that you are either not interested in doing anything like that or because he is afraid that other people might find you socially awkward and he wants to avoid having your feelings hurt by a callous twat.
If you want to be the girl that gets taken out for a night on the town, then simply be that girl. Learn to have fun. Do it in baby steps if you feel safest making slow changes, but do something to show him that yes, you can be more exciting than you have been in the past.
8 Plays On His Phone While You Talk
You are between classes and you head over to the local pizza joint to order a slice and a soda. When you get there, you see that yummy guy that is in your next class. You order up a slice of regular pizza and your drink and sit down at his table. You really don’t have anything new or exciting to talk about, so you start talking about what you think about the class you both share. You start in on the professor’s educational background and by the time you get to the topic of the books they had you buy for class, he has his phone out and appears to be either texting or playing a game.
Rude? Yeah. But if you were talking about something interesting, maybe he wouldn’t have his phone in his hands.
If you notice someone drift off into another activity while you are talking to him, change things up. Start asking him random questions about his life until you hit a topic that interests him enough to put his phone away.
7 Never Brings His Friends Over
You feel that you are in a calm, stable relationship with your man. The days go by pretty much the same and you have set a routine for the both of you that appears to be working smoothly.
The only thing that worries you is that he never invites his friends over. You can’t figure out why. He goes and hangs out with friends at their homes and will meet up with them at other places, but whenever you ask him if he’d like to hang out at your place with his friends, he always has an excuse not to invite them over.
Something seems fishy here. It could be that there is something about himself that he doesn’t want you to know, but it could also be that he is worried his friends will get bored or uncomfortable with your rigid routine. You need to loosen up a little on the planning and learn to live on the fly a little bit. Make the relationship fun, not just functional.
It is a beautiful sunny day and you've invited some coworkers, including the cute one, over to hang out for a cookout. While you are all sitting around, you strategically sit beside the cute guy and decide to tell them a story about a childhood camping trip with your family. There are no exciting bits to your story and no punchline. You just drone on and on and on. Eventually, your cute guy lets out a yawn. Then another person yawns and another. You have turned your little get together into a sleepy yawn fest. People start to excuse themselves, saying they need to get back home to water the lawn or that they need to go get a root canal. Your cute guy leaves in a hurry for whatever reason. The place clears out and you are back to being all alone.
You think about inviting the cute guy back over, but in all honesty you probably have lost your chance with him for the time being. You need to work on your social skills and take the hint that when people start yawning around you, you are probably boring them.
5 Avoids Asking You Questions
This is the third time you have run into him at the park. The last two times you saw him you talked and talked his ears off. You felt like it was a nice time together. This time however, he says hello. You ask him how he is doing and he says he is just fine. You pause for a moment, waiting for him to ask you how you have been. You have so much you want to tell him, but he never asks. In the hopes of prodding him to ask you a question about yourself, you ask him how work has been. He gives a two word answer, but again he doesn’t ask you the question in return. You feel very awkward and say your goodbyes. What just happened?
More than likely you talked too much about yourself and your problems without getting his input or finding out what has been going on in his life. You may have cornered him and, to his ears, you droned on and on about stuff he doesn’t give two hoots about. This time he was prepared and made every effort not to engage you in a conversation.
4 Same Responses Again And Again
You just started dating him, but you already feel as though he has lost interest in you. For instance, when you are talking to him, his responses are always the same. He either says “mm-hm” or “yeah?” over and over again. He never offers up his own insight to what you are saying.
Now, if this only happens once in a great while, it could very well be that he has something else on his mind. Ask him what is on his mind and see if you can help him with any problems he is having. On the other hand, if this is how all your conversations go, maybe the problem is you.
What are you talking about? Is it something that would interest him? Are you including him in the conversation, showing him that you are interested in his input? If you are just droning on and on about the same thing, you are boring him. It is time to change up the conversation.
3 Starts To Fidget
You see him in the café across the street from where the both of you work. Wouldn’t it be nice if you sat with him and got to know him a little better? Of course. So you go into the café, get your lunch, and sit down with him. He smiles at you and seems to be genuinely nice. You smile back, comment on what a pretty day it is, and then you start to eat. In total silence.
He starts to look uncomfortable and you can see that he is doing the bouncing knee fidget. What is his problem, you wonder.
Fidgeting is a huge sign that someone is bored out of their mind. It means he has the energy to do something, would rather be doing anything else, but he feels that he is trapped in this boring, awkward situation.
If you ever find the person you are hanging out with fidgeting, engage him in a conversation. Find out what he does after work, his hobbies, or what he thinks of the new work policy.
2 Leaves Right After The Deed
There is always that one pig. You know which one I am talking about. He will hump anything or anyone just to get off. He doesn’t care what kind of person you are as long as he can get your pants off. Listen to me: don’t settle for this type of jerk. I don’t care how boring people think you are, you are worth the effort and you deserve a real relationship.
If you have a guy, maybe you think of him as your boyfriend, who comes over, eats your food, gets his rocks off, and then leaves, you may be seeing one of the world’s biggest jerks. On the other hand, maybe he really wants to like you, but he finds you boring outside of the bedroom. People need to be able to communicate with you. That means that you need to put yourself out there, spice up the interaction, and stop being a stick in the mud.
1 He Looks For Any Excuse Not To Hang Out
You call him, text, him, and practically beg him to come over to hang out, but he still says no. You tell him that it is strictly platonic and that you are just looking for someone to watch the latest episode of such and such with you. His answer remains a firm no. You try bribing him, telling him he could bring a friend along, and still nothing.
Either he really does not like you or it may be that he finds you to be boring. Let’s face it, no one wants to hang out with someone who is boring. It is just not going to happen. But, instead of moping about it, make a change. Learn some new conversational skills – you can find free lessons online and on YouTube. Practice your new skills with co-workers and on your family. Being boring is treatable. You can change your ways all for the better and make that cute guy regret he ever turned you down.