In relationships, it's only a matter of time before each of the two parties involved get a little library of secrets going on. Just as you keep certain things to yourself, your boyfriend does the same. Of course, they're all pretty harmless and nothing that would act as a catalyst for a break up. However, that doesn't mean they don't exist. Unlike women, who tend to be open when it comes to their little slip ups or their emotional lives, men are a bit more hesitant to divulge everything they've done and every thought that crosses their mind. This is why we've done some research to find out exactly what men keep to themselves. After all, we were dying to know and now that we do, we're beyond glad. Why? We found the results were a bit shocking and completely different from what we assumed. Read below to find out fifteen secret's he'll take to the grave with him.
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He was out at a bar one night with his friends. Although he was dating you and wasn't trying to pursue other women, a woman came up to him and started hitting on him. For a while, they were just joking and laughing as friends. He might've even told her about you in detail. Long story short, he wasn't giving her the wrong idea. Five shots later, though, he hardly had any idea what was going on. Talking turned to flirting which then somehow ended up with her kissing him. Of course, he did the right thing and stopped whatever was happening. And in reality, it was harmless. However, that doesn't mean he's going to tell you about it. After all, it's sort of a hard story to believe even though he's telling the truth. After all, why would he want to risk losing you or even hurting you if it meant absolutely nothing to him?
14 The Ex He Still Thinks About
Everyone has that one person they still think about from time to time. With you, it might be an ex-boyfriend who cheated on you or some guy you never gave the time of day and wished you would have. Whoever it is, your boyfriend has someone just like that. Chances are, there was once someone in his life that's no longer in it that still comes up in his mind whenever he's bored or something sparks his memory. Maybe she broke his heart and he's never fully recovered or maybe he broke hers and still feels guilty about it. Of course, he would never tell you that he still thinks of other women despite being committed to you... but he does. It's not as if he's comparing you to her or even wishing he was with her instead of you, he's simply still affected by whatever went on between them and can't fully wash it clean from his memory.
13 How Insecure He Is
Like you, your boyfriend or partner is probably extremely insecure... if not, more due to years of bottling everything up inside. Of course, he'd never let you know that or take the time to explain everything he's feeling rationally. Why? Because he hates to be vulnerable. Instead, he'll just act passive aggressively. For example, if you're flirting with a guy, he'll fight the guy to prove he's "better" than him instead of simply admitting that you've made him jealous or temporarily convinced him you prefer someone else over him. If he thinks you don't like him for some reason, he'll distance himself from you instead of asking if everything's okay between you two. If you confront him about it, he'll dodge the subject or act like everything's totally fine. He'd rather be buried ten feet underground that have to let you know that he's not completely confident in who he is as a person and that like you, he also gets jealous and insecure.
12 The Twisted Fantasies He Has
Depending on the type of relationship you have with your partner, he may not always feel as though he can be completely open and honest about the twisted thoughts that pop into his mind from time to time. Sure, he probably tells you about most of them. In fact, he probably wants you to be a part of most of them. However, he definitely leaves out the ones out that he doesn't even want to think about himself. You know, the ones that include his mother or clowns or something else that might make you think he has a psychological disorder. Instead, he just does his best to tuck those ones deep away in his head and pretend that he's not as freaky as he actually is. But hey, don't judge him. You know you're probably guilty of doing the same thing. No one can help the strange little fantasies that cross our minds.
11 All The Times He Wasn't "Safe"
When you started dating him, you briefly discussed your history with other people. Perhaps he told you how many different partners he had and maybe you told him how many you had. Even if you were not completely honest about your number and even if he embellished his a little bit, you are somewhat familiar with each other's pasts. On the other hand, though, you are probably not as familiar with exactly how safe he was with his past partners. Of course, he probably pretended like he used some protection every time he hooked up with a stranger... but you know that is not true. In fact, he probably "risked" it a few more times than he likes to admit then rushed to the doctor to be sure he did not contract anything. If he got lucky, why come clean about the past slip-ups when there is really no need?
10 How Sensitive He Is
For some reason, men feel the tendency to be these "manly" creatures that always take care of us and never get overly emotional or feel endangered. Therefore, they sometimes act as though they are not allowed to be sensitive individuals themselves. This is why when they are actually upset, they hide it or play it off as "not a big deal." Even if you're the type of girl that encourages your boyfriend, to be honest with you, he never one hundred percent lets you see that soft side of him. In fact, he might never even let himself know his soft side in such an intimate way. So, what does he do to avoid it? He keeps all his emotions bottled up and plays everything "cool." He'll be in the grave before he lets you know just how embarrassed you made him when you said you didn't like his aftershave.
9 How Much He Still Wants You
You and him were in a relationship for a long time. At one point, he thought he was going to spend the rest of his life with you and couldn't picture it any other way. Then, one thing led to another and you came to the conclusion that he wasn't the man for you after all. Even though you made promises to him, you changed your mind. Of course, you didn't do it vindictively but you managed to break his heart in half. After the break up, you hardly spoke. Then, one day, you called him out of the blue a few months later to see how he was doing. When you talked to him, he acted like he was completely fine, that he had moved forward, that he hardly even thought about you anymore. However, he was lying. The truth is that he was still upset, that he still thought about you, and that he was wishing you were calling to take him back.
8 How Much Self Doubt He Has
On the inside, he feels as though he's not smart enough as the rest of his colleagues at work, that his career may never take off, and that he might live the rest of his life in the shadow of his potential. He's terrified that you're going to wake up one day and realized that he's not the man you thought he was and leave him in a blink of an eye. He's scared his friends are going to make better friends and leave him behind, that his family will never be proud of him. He questions everything he does and says and obsessively wonders if he's on the "right track." On the outside, though, he acts completely calm and collected. He pretends to be the most confident man in the world. He'd never admit to being anything less than what he's worked so hard to appear to be and would rather die than be found out about.
7 The Time He Slipped Up
If you have been with him for a long time and have gone through some rough patches during your relationship, there is a big chance he might have slipped up at least one time, if not more. For example, maybe he was flirting with his co-worker and giving her the wrong idea about the two of you when he wasn't sure if you were going to last. Maybe, he had a drunken one night stand after the two of you got in a massive fight. Or maybe, he even had a short-lived affair with someone he met on Tinder while you were on a "break." No matter what it was, he always realized that he'd rather be with you than anyone else. Therefore, he'd take these "slip-ups" to the grave with him before he would ever tell you the complete truth. At this point, he'd do anything to hold onto you.
6 How Terrified He Is Of Marriage
You're at the point in your relationship where you can either sh** or get off the pot. You've been together for almost five years and neither of you are getting any younger. So, what do you do? You start bringing up the topic of marriage. Of course, you don't mean to put pressure on him. All you want to do is drop little hints to let him know you're ready to take the next step. However, whenever you do, he dodges the subject. He'll say things like, "I have to get my career in order first," or "we'll get married in a couple of years," or something else along the line that's completely noncommittal. Why? Because he's terrified of marriage but can't exactly say that to you without offending you or making you think he'll never come around. At the end of the day, his fear doesn't even have anything to do with you, it's all about him. Still, he'd be the last person to admit that.
5 How Much He Thinks About It
Even though there have been hundreds of scientific studies done about intimacy and how much men think about it, he still pretends like it does not cross his mind as much as it does. He would never tell anyone about that incident he got during an important business meeting or the time he got beyond excited when he was sitting across from you at the dinner table in your parent's house. He pretends like the only time he thinks about it is when he is in your presence and that it never distracts him when he is doing other things. He would deny it if you accused him of looking at other women and finding them attractive and then blame you for being insecure when in reality, you were right. Of course, you don't really care how much he thinks about it but for some reason, he's embarrassed by it.
4 How Much He Loves "Girly" Things
At the bar, he always orders a beer even though he'd much rather prefer a cosmopolitan. When he watches movies alone, he always chooses war movies or violent action dramas when he really wouldn't mind watching a romantic chick flick. When a Taylor Swift song comes on the radio, he does his best to act like he doesn't know the song when in reality, he never switches the station when he hears it and could probably sing along perfectly. He likes shopping. He likes going to wine bars and eating fancy cheeses. He reads gossip magazines and follows his favorite celebrities on Instagram and twitter. He wouldn't mind seeing a musical or going to the Opera. He loves massages and has even thought about getting a pedicure. He's totally in touch with his feminine side but would rather do just about anything else before he let other people see that side of him.
3 How Much He Worries
He pretends that he could not have less concerns- that worrying is your job and he is always cool as a cucumber. However, we all know that is certainly not the case. He worries about money. He worries about his appearance. He worries about what other people think of him. He worries if he makes you happy if he is satisfying you. He worries about what he is going to do over the weekend. He worries if he is completed everything he needed to do at work and if he has made his bosses happy. Heck, he even worries about what he is going to eat for dinner and if he has enough time to get in a workout. Of course, he would never say any of these things out loud. Instead, he bottles them all inside and then makes you feel as though you "worry too much." Because after all, worrying is for women right?
2 How Much He Cares About His Appearance
He goes to the gym and pretends like the only reason he works out is to get a little toned and stay healthy when in reality, he wants to be just as buff and fit as anyone else. He acts as though he only gets his haircut because it's gotten too long and the length is bothering him when in reality, he goes to the stylist and shows her pictures of haircuts he wants to copy. He spends hours picking out the right outfit for the right occasion then tells everyone he can get ready for anything in less than five minutes. He gets embarrassed my pimples, by accidental shaving cuts, and by body odor. If he forgets to wear his favorite after shave, he goes back home to get it. You're onto his little secrets but when you confront him about it, he makes you feel like you're crazy. For some reason, he'll do anything to make you believe he could care less about his appearance.
1 How Badly He Needs You
As we've said before, sometimes men have an extremely hard time of admitting to their feelings. They're terrified of letting you know how much you mean to them because they're insecure about not always having you, therefore, they're often reluctant to wear their hearts on their sleeves. If he's upset, he tries to play it off as "not a big deal," when in reality, he wants you to hold him until he feels better. If he's nervous about something like a job interview or an important meeting, he wants you to reassure him that he's the man for the job. If he's feeling down, he wants you to convince him things are going to get better in time. He needs you in all the same ways you need him. After all, he's only human. The only difference between you two is that you're way better at admitting it whereas he'd rather take it to the grave with him.