Fear has a way of skewing our judgement, no matter what the situation might be, fear causes some unreasonable thinking among the best of us. Fear can affect relationships too, especially when it is the cause of irrational decisions. Fear can even keep people from finding true happiness.
Men in particular tend to look at relationships with a fear based pair of goggles. Some men tend to view relationships in a negative way which causes a greater and heightened sense of fear. For some of them, that fear causes them to avoid relationships altogether.
In order for guys to remedy this, they must look at relationships in the light of love and not in the face of fear. Some men tend to have positive views on relationships while others may only see them as something that could get in the way of their own life.
This article will focus on the fear aspect when it comes to relationships, and some of the things men consider toxic. Fears range from meeting one’s family to going against the bro code, to even potentially losing themselves in a relationship. These are the 15 relationship fears every guy has.
15 Going Against The Bro Code
Oh the bro code, women don’t get it while some men live by this particular code. The bro code basically requires the bro to pick his buds over any girl. In the long term, this can seriously damage a relationship and can create a fear that will ruin the relationship from going any further. Some guys see relationships as a way to ruin their friendships and bro time.
Not only is that a major fear but men also get anxiety thinking about what their friends might think in relation to his new-found girlfriend and the fact that he’s not spending as much time with his bros. Fear of losing all his friends and missing out on those classic “bro moments” (FOMO) is a major problem and a fear a lot of guys tend to have.
To remedy this type of fear in men the solution is rather simple; organization and balance. Once you’re able to sustain both these elements juggling both girlfriend and friends, this will seem like a breeze for that particular bro. If not, get ready for some major anxiety on both ends.
Time is a major killer when it comes to relationships. Going through the course of a weekday you really barely have time to do anything really. Just think about your day for a second. You wake up, go to school or work for the entire day, get home after some serious traffic, eat, relax or go to the gym and boom, your day is done.
Following a specific routine can be toxic to a degree. A male not willing to change up his ways will cause a lack of time in one’s life making it impossible to date. In order to remedy this, a guy must break those outdated routines and manage their time appropriately in order to strengthen a relationship and stop living in fear of doing so. Similar to the point about the bro code all this really needs is a degree of organization and balance. Men need to use their time wisely and everything will align itself properly.
13 Pressure to Impress
A typical male mentality is comparable to a quote Hyde uttered on the hit TV series That 70s Show, “I’m not going to jump through hoops for her”. Just thinking about this gives guys anxiety to the point that they don’t even want to try for a relationship. Most men are just laid back dudes that like to do their own thing without going overboard. They’re generally creatures of habit. When some men need to go out of their way to do something, they start to develop this unnecessary stress and fear which is really just a figment of their imagination because of the way they perceive the situation. Having this mind set will only make things worse and cause your relationship to flutter downwards.
Instead of thinking in fear one must be willing to learn through love and not seeing the situation towards the eyes of fear. In doing so, all a guy really has to do is be themselves and show off those charming qualities that are already built in them. Keeping confidence at a high will cause that pressure to seem laughable once your date is over with.
12 The Shy Bug
This relationship fear has plagued several bros throughout the years. It is a fear that can truly get worse if you let it get to you. Fear has a way of building up, to remedy this you must embrace each situation that the Universe puts in front of you with a positive outlook and one based out of love.
To break that shyness, dudes must allow themselves to feel vulnerable and go through with those situations that make them anxious like going on a date or being in a relationship. When the universe puts those types of situations in front of you, it’s pretty much its way of aiding you and helping with this problem. Avoiding the fear will only push it back until it once again comes around full circle and appears in a guys life again. Trust the universe and trust the things it puts in the front of you. Gaining that much needed experience from a date or relationship and a guy allowing themselves to feel vulnerable will open this new window of confidence that some men truly need.
11 Moving Too Fast
Relationship speed is another pesky fear men have when entering a relationship. Over thinking is a natural part of life and this is especially prevalent throughout a relationship. The brain tends to wonder and that can turn into a burden for some men who over think themselves into fear. Once again, that can potentially get the better of them causing a man to question his entire relationship and the speed it is moving at.
When a man judges his relationship as moving too fast it’s really just his cave man mentality taking over. Men are creatures of habit that love to do their own thing, once that is compromised over a long period of time, they can start getting antsy and that is when the fear of moving too fast starts to set in. This fear can eventually lead to illogical thinking which can push back the closeness of a male and female relationship.
10 Moving Too Slow
Contrary to moving too fast, men also tend to worry when a relationship is moving too slow, this causes fear and an unnecessary stigma pertaining to relationships. When something we want moves at a slow pace it’s only human nature to want to kick it in the butt and accelerate it a little faster. When we want something, we become impatient, it’s only normal. This feeling in relationships however can prove to be toxic especially for a male who develops a fear of getting hurt and not being good enough because of the fact that a relationship is moving too slow. A man will question himself with the typical, “am I good enough?” statement.
As you can see, fear has a way of building up and leading to some terrible thoughts. For some men, the speed of a relationship can really have that type of an effect to the point that they don’t want to deal with that aspect at all and they begin to develop a fear of getting too attached and wanting things to move quicker.
9 Losing Themselves
This is a relationship stigma that continues to plague so many men nowadays and results in them steering clear of relationships altogether because of this very fear. Being yourself is what life is all about, we live to do the things we love so it’s only normal to develop this fear. Relationships can be time consuming which causes men to forget about some of the things they loved dearly which is an absolute “no no” and something a partner will tell you themselves. This type of fear develops by either over-thinking or word of mouth. Even the fellow bros can put thoughts in the heads of males planting that seed of doubt which will only blossom and grow into a greater problem in the future.
Again, as we discussed earlier, organization and balance is truly everything in not only relationships but life itself. You must visualize exactly who you want to be and how to pursue your life every day. Doing so, will allow the universe to establish exactly what is you want by handing it to you over the course of a day.
Thinking of this makes some men just want to fold and give up on relationships altogether. Men tend to make unnecessary judgments at times, especially when they see relationships in a scary way without much positivity involved. Seeing the scary stuff only causes negativity to continuously grow. One of those ways it can do so is by creating a fictitious realm of competition. All this really does is put unnecessary pressure on a male which can result in irrational decision making and jealousy over others. That type of fear can put a damper on a relationship causing a guy to walk away from the entire ordeal because of this unjust fear that he might get rejected or “lose” the fictitious competition that he created in his mind.
Again, our thoughts perceive the world we live in. What we see, we imagine and perceive in our own way. Doing so needs to be done out of love and not fear, the fear will only grow causing such a problem to emerge more so than it really should.
7 Hating Her Friends
This is probably one of the lesser known fears out there but it is one worth discussing. Men do have a fear when it comes to women and who they’re surrounded by. Friends are the greatest influences, for some, even more so than family. Close relationships with friends create a bond that is incredibly tight and can affect your decision making more than you know. Some men fear amount of an impact friends might have on you. Now all of a sudden, a man has the task of not only pleasing the girl, but having to put on a show for her friends as well in fear of them not liking him. Things can get especially bad if a guy doesn’t like your friends, this can hinder a relationship and cause a him to fear every time you decide to hang out with friends.
Some men would walk away from the entire situation if they despise your surroundings, yes, the impact can be that profound for some men.
6 Having Nothing In Common
Sharing similarities makes relationships flow. We love to do the things we enjoy with one another like relaxing watching our favorite shows on Netflix or eating our favorite foods together at a restaurant. These bonding moments bring us together and create a closer relationship over time.
Having things in common however takes some time to manifest, at first, it’s very possible that you and a guy share very little in common but that’s only normal. Relationships take time to build. Men tend to overlook that notion and start to sweat when things don’t seem to be aligning properly in terms of common interests. Before they know it, the fear goggles are back on and the mind begins to wonder thinking if they want to be with someone that shares little in common with them. This can cause a dude to hold out till that “one” finally shows up.
5 A Relationship Running Its Course
Sadly, not all relationships last the test of time and some eventually run their course for one reason or another. This factor creates a fear in men that a relationship will ultimately fall through causing some serious heartbreak for the guy involved.
The fear in men can be developed rather easily, like for instance just by seemingly running out of things to talk about. This can cause a guy to question their entire relationship and really start to think about the future and if it seems like an actual possibility with things slowing down. Men love the start of a new relationship which is always fresh and exciting but tend to panic when things start to settle down and move at a slower pace. This is another factor that leads to fear and eventually builds up over time causing some skewed judgments on the part of the dude.
4 Meeting Her Parents
When relationships start to get serious, family gets involved. Some men run for the hills, while others understand this fundamental aspect. The men that run for the hills either have commitment issues or simply have a type of fear or anxiety when dealing with stressful situations. Looking at it in such a way will only worsen the situation, and the more he tries to avoid meeting them, the more fear will be building up in his mind. The girl's family might be the nicest and most understanding people, but before he actually meets them he might refuse to believe that.
Men need to understand that facing such stressful situations will boost morale and create a force-field of positivity as opposed to prolonging the meet up. Men need to pushed to take that next step and once they finally do, only good will come from the situation.
3 Fear of Financial Restrictions
When a dude lives the life of a single bachelor, spending goes in accordance to what he and only he wants to spend his money on. Financials seem a whole lot easier to manage when you only have yourself to think about.
A relationship however causes that dynamic to shift. All of a sudden a guy starts to spend a little more than usual and that’s because of his new relationship. From going out to the movies, to eating at restaurants to shopping with their significant other, those bills tend to climb much higher than they did in the past.
For some men, this can cause a financial strain setting back some of their personal goals of purchasing things they once valued like a new car. Being too proud and not admitting to it will only worsen the situation and eventually cause a giant relationship fear for a guy. Finances play a major role in relationships as well.
2 Getting Attached
Men hate that this is inevitable and it causes some of them to resent relationships altogether. Getting attached can work two ways; one, it can create a beautiful long lasting relationship. Or two, it can lead to a dude getting his heart ripped out his chest because of a brutal breakup despite the fact that his feelings and emotions were all in with the girl of his dreams.
The attachment is a big issue and one that men who have been heart-broken in the past have a tough time dealing with. The fear can lead to unreasonable expectations and force a guy to watch other people’s happiness from the sidelines in fear of getting hurt once again.
The fear of getting attached is one of the biggest among men pertaining to relationships, and this plays on their emotions which can trigger both their mind and heart which is a lethal combo in terms of sentiments.
Like we discussed earlier in the article, men truly are creatures of habit. Most dudes just like to go about their business doing the simple things they enjoy throughout the day. That can be just about anything from hanging around with friends, hitting the gym, listening to music or watching some television. Over time, that can have a harmful effect causing a guy to get stuck in their ways which can seem like a rut. The universe will dish out some social situations for a guy to embark on without him even realizing. How he reacts to that is crucial.
Some men will continue to refuse the change and continue to live in fear without making a significant change like getting in a relationship. Other men will trust the universe and take the signs as a learning experience. Who knows, taking the risk can even land a guy they're future wife. At the end of the day it’s all about overcoming the changes that are handed to them.